High School Graduation Announcements

[MIGrandma]

Are they really though or are you just ASSUMING that? We sent some invites out to people we know can't attend DS's party and in no way do we expect a gift from them but we thought they would like to know about his graduation because they were important parts of his life as a little boy. I would love for their "gift" to be to come to his party as we haven't seen them in many years because they live in other states.

My opinion is just that, it's not an assumption, it's an opinion. I feel announcements like that, sent to people they really don't even know, are just asking for gifts/money to be sent.

I totally understand sending those types of announcements to family and friends. I have no problem with that. It's when they send them to everyone and their brother that I have a problem with it. We never see these people. We don't socialize with them. We don't even exchange Christmas cards. I just don't get sending announcements to people they don't know.

You said you sent invites out to people you know can't attend your DS's party but you felt they would like to know about his graduation because they were important parts of his life as a little boy. THAT I have no problem with, in receiving that type of invite/announcement. But tell me, would you send an invite/announcement to someone you don't know, and that your son doesn't know?

 

[Christine]

A wedding invitation, a birthday party invite, a graduation announcement, or whatever, in no way means or was ever intended to be a gift grab. Yes, it seems in today's society that it has morphed into that, but still, it's not the intent or ever was the intent of these things. They are either simply announcements to tell you someone something or they are invitations that request your presence at a function. No recipient is ever obligated to provide a gift.

So in the spirit in which these things are intended, they are not gift grabs. If you read Miss Manners or Ask Amy or whatever, it has been repeated over and over about this. Some people want to put "please, no gifts" on the invite or announcement and apparently this is "wrong" to do because the intention is never there that a gift should be provided. If people assume that, that is their own misconception.

 

[golfgal]

My opinion is just that, it's not an assumption, it's an opinion. I feel announcements like that, sent to people they really don't even know, are just asking for gifts/money to be sent.

I totally understand sending those types of announcements to family and friends. I have no problem with that. It's when they send them to everyone and their brother that I have a problem with it. We never see these people. We don't socialize with them. We don't even exchange Christmas cards. I just don't get sending announcements to people they don't know.

You said you sent invites out to people you know can't attend your DS's party but you felt they would like to know about his graduation because they were important parts of his life as a little boy. THAT I have no problem with, in receiving that type of invite/announcement. But tell me, would you send an invite/announcement to someone you don't know, and that your son doesn't know?

No I wouldn't but again, I don't see the announcements as anything more then that, and ANNOUNCEMENT. I really don't think people mail these things out rubbing their hands thinking "oh, boy, money, money, money".

 

[punkin]

I think we just had this discussion a few weeks ago. I don't know if it's a gift grab. I certainly don't send gifts if I don't want to no matter what I get in the mail, but I have just never seen graduation announcements done in my extended family. It is usually "announced" over the phone in the course of other conversation.

 

[barkley]

A wedding invitation, a birthday party invite, a graduation announcement, or whatever, in no way means or was ever intended to be a gift grab. Yes, it seems in today's society that it has morphed into that, but still, it's not the intent or ever was the intent of these things. They are either simply announcements to tell you someone something or they are invitations that request your presence at a function. No recipient is ever obligated to provide a gift.

So in the spirit in which these things are intended, they are not gift grabs. If you read Miss Manners or Ask Amy or whatever, it has been repeated over and over about this. Some people want to put "please, no gifts" on the invite or announcement and apparently this is "wrong" to do because the intention is never there that a gift should be provided. If people assume that, that is their own misconception.

actualy, miss manners writes (specificaly about sending graduation announcements) "when you make a formal announcement to those who already know (or more distant aquaintances to whom it is of only the mildest of interest), they do tend to look for motives...such news is something to be thrown into the chatty communications that you normaly have with such people by telephone or e-mail. all you are asking for then would be congratuations".

 

[4nana]

JMHO, I don't think they are tacky to send or a gift-grab. I've just always taken them as announcements and nothing else. If I wanted to send a gift, I did and if not, I didn't.

We just received one from my DH's niece whose son is graduating this year. We have met them once, years ago. No tickets were included which I didn't expect since we are extended family and I doubt we'll be receiving an invite to any party thrown as we are 1500 miles away. I know they are not looking for gifts, just proud of their son, as they should be.

I think you should send the announcements. Do not mention that no gifts are expected - people will send or not send based on what they want to do anyway. This is an exciting time for you and your daughter. Be proud and let the world know.
The people who matter won't be offended and the people who'd be offended don't matter.

ETA - Every announcement I've ever received has been sent prior to graduation.

Tink888 ~ just wanted to say Amen , best advise ever (in bold) on this subject!!!!!

 

[barkley]

if those who would be offended "don't matter" then why consider sending them an announcement in the first place (unless like most high schools the minimum number you have to get to place an order leaves you with way more than needed for the people who "do matter" and you just hate to see those things go to waste).

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I am the OP from another thread on this same subject.
I looked up etiquette on the subject and it said to send them out the day of or after if it was only an announcement.
So, I sent them out about a month before grduation with an invite to his "open house", which is a no-no. Did not see a reason to purchase twice as many stamps
He is VERY old fashioned and did not want a "party" because that implies gifts, but we may have an open house
He goes to a public school and it is known that an announcement is much different than an invite to gradauation, although we did not like how they read
So depending on what is the norm in your area, how much of a rebel you are, how much you stick to etiquette...... do as you please

Thank you, if anything you have made me smile! Quite a feat since it seems to be tears lately around here!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Around here, they're very common. Several people I know purchased the pre-printed ones from the company that offers the caps and gowns -- "The Faculty and Graduating Class of (high school) Announce the Thirty-Second Commencement Exercises" (date). I'm planning to send out a few -- we were going to have a party, but DS tells us now he doesn't want one (which is fine, hubby is recovering from being out of work for six months, and that cash could go toward school necessities), but I wanted to let family and friends-- all close, none of this major broadcast to people we don't know thing. I made my own announcement -- scanned the crest from the preprinted, wrote a poem about DS's high school achievements, all in fun, and I'll print a couple of pictures of him on the inside of the card (instead of including separate pix). Even if I know a child well, I still like to get the announcement -- I think it's fun and friendly, and aren't we all proud of our kids getting to that point? Some kids I'll send a little something to, and others I'll mentally congratulate (unless I see them somewhere, in which case I'll actually congratulate...)

Erin

Great idea, DH is a printer and I am sure they can get the crest off the official invite...

So we have decided to send an "announcement" that our daughter has graduated with "insert honors, etc" from her school on such a date. It will include a phrase that we are very proud of her and that in September she will be attending XXX school. We will also send her graduation picture.

My DD does not want a party nor does she want any presents or money from our relatives. (well except from her Nana who is buying her a new laptop). She asked that we take her to dinner after her graduation and invite 2 of her friends. I am okay with that. She would rather go to the parties of her friends.

Thanks to everyone for their input. I guess if the worse thing that happens is some relative calls me tacky, I can live with it. (You should hear the other things they say about me). I am the rebel with a "Disney problem" so tacky is mild.

Everyone, have a great day!!!!

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, I just got done sending out youngest DS's graduation announcements. I limited ours to just closest friends & family and those that are out of state.

I am proud of this milestone in DS's life!

TC