Help teaching son letters/numbers

[MinnieGi]

As others have said - RELAX!! Let the child be a CHILD!! It sounds like he is doing great and will learn letter recognition when he is READY in his own way!! Some kids naturally gravitate to early letter/number recognition while others are building OTHER important skills. Just keep exposing him to great books and educational opportunities and he will be just fine!!

 

[bobbi565]

My DS LOVED Thomas the Tank Engine at that age and learned his numbers by recognizing them on his favorite engines. "James is the number 5 red engine..." and so forth. He would line them up in numerical order and draw pictures of them with the correct numbers on them. It was a Godsend, because he wasn't interested in learning letters/numbers at all either. This was a very natural acquisition of this information through play. I wish there had been an equivalent for his letters, but as many wise mommies on here have advised, RELAX! He will learn them, as mine did, when he's ready. Just keep on exposing him to them in fun and nonthreatening ways.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Thanks for making a first time mama feel better. I really don't care for me, I just have talked to other parents with kids similar ages who children seem to have that. And being a first time mom, I wasn't sure if this meant my son was behind. I just want him to be happy. And don't worry - once he makes a fuss about it, I immediately stop bc I don't want him to hate it. And he is a strong willed little boy, so you are probably right about him taking control!

I did jot down a lot of these great ideas like the leapfrog, starfall, poster w/ letters, etc. I think if I "sneak" it in, he'll think it's his idea and like it -thanks again!

Edited to add: I just ordered leapfrog letter and number factory - best $15 I've ever spent! I'll update in a few weeks!

 

[AmandaRG]

Thanks for making a first time mama feel better. I really don't care for me, I just have talked to other parents with kids similar ages who children seem to have that. And being a first time mom, I wasn't sure if this meant my son was behind.

There is so much "my kid is smarter/better/more talented than your child" going on today! It will all depend on your child. There is also a huge difference if a child has older siblings.

Our girls are almost 15 months apart, but at 3 and 4, the 3-year-old starts doing things at nearly the same time as the 4-year-old because she is watching, playing, and listening right alongside her. It doesn't mean that one is ahead or the other behind, they are just doing things together.

 

[RMulieri]

Thanks for making a first time mama feel better. I really don't care for me, I just have talked to other parents with kids similar ages who children seem to have that. And being a first time mom, I wasn't sure if this meant my son was behind. I just want him to be happy. And don't worry - once he makes a fuss about it, I immediately stop bc I don't want him to hate it. And he is a strong willed little boy, so you are probably right about him taking control!

I did jot down a lot of these great ideas like the leapfrog, starfall, poster w/ letters, etc. I think if I "sneak" it in, he'll think it's his idea and like it -thanks again!

Edited to add: I just ordered leapfrog letter and number factory - best $15 I've ever spent! I'll update in a few weeks!

I am a Mom of an only and I understand how you feel.I had other moms( family even) make me worry and made me feel like my kid was stupid because she wasn't getting it at an early age despite preschool.My neighbor ( a Kindergarten teacher) talked me off the ledge..LOL...Relax..The competitive nature of some parents seems to come out alot and it doesn't go away over time either

 

[SLK1]

Thanks for making a first time mama feel better. I really don't care for me, I just have talked to other parents with kids similar ages who children seem to have that. And being a first time mom, I wasn't sure if this meant my son was behind.!

Tune out everyone and anyone who wants to brag about how quickly their child learned things. First, it's probably exagerrated. Second, they ALL catch up to each other around 2nd/3rd grade, and it's the kids with the will and desire to excel that DO excel in school, not the ones who learned their letters and numbers early on. Trust me...my son, a senior in high school, was reading very early. Since he's lazy, he's NOT at the top of his class and there are a million kids who work hard and have "it" that have surpassed him. My youngest doesn't know her letters, but she can recite the movie "Tangled" word for word. So that's something, right?!?

 

[Mkrop]

I really like the one posters ideas of making posters out of Beans for B etc, make it fun! Make a macroni necklace and put Ms on the pasta with a sharpie. Take shaving cream and have him write the letters with his fingers.


Also there are other things just as important as letters and numbers at this age, how are his fine motor skills, can he do crafts, glue, cut with safety scissors, if not maybe switch the focus to that for a bit.

DS8 had fine motor delays, and received OT once a week. His therapists always combined some of the above activities bc it also helped with fine motor skills. Not always easy for some kiddos to cut or string beads/macaroni.

And I agree with others dont panic.

 

[Shelly888]

I have a bit of a different experience with this. It's in no way to worry you, but wanted to share my child's past. My now 7 year old had a very difficult time learning his ABCs and 123s, could barely write his name leaving preschool(just Ben, never mind Benjamin), etc. I had concerns as well, because these were things that I was shocked he wasn't picking up. I had voiced my concerns to his ped, his preschool teacher both years at 3 and 4, as well as his kindergarden teacher. Every single one of them had told me basically 'he is fine', 'he's a boy', and 'don't worry'. I shold say he went to a private kindergarden since our public was just a couple of hours and I had a newborn, and wanted him in school all day.

Anyway, he just finished 1st grade, at the public school, and is getting ready to go into second. It was like a brick had been slammed in front of me at teacher conferences. His 1st grade teacher had many concerns. Finally, an educator who was seeing what I was seeing...but why did it take until now?! He started 1st grade so far behind, and has worked really really hard, but is still about a half grade level behind.

I have done a lot of reading and research on reading disabilities, and have been shocked to find that he very well did in fact exhibit many many of the characteristics, but none of the educators, including his physician knew that all of my concerns were indeed signs of a reading disorder. Many start to show at the preschool age, but by the time it is picked up it is usually pretty late...can be as late as 3rd grade.

I say all of this not to make you worry, but because it *can* but doesn't *always* point in that direction. If any of the educators up until that point had known about this, I could have saved my son a lot of trouble, and he could have begun learning in the way best suited for his brain. Now i am in the process of hiring a tutor for him to teach him in a special way to the tune of 35-75$/hr

He too is extremely bright, comes from a family of very well educated people, some of which have very high level IQs, and I *never* thought it would happen to my child. I learned to read before I turned 3, so it was so surprising to me.

Anyway, you got some great advice already....I just wanted to give another perspective for you to keep in your mind, just in case in the months ahead, he is still having trouble. CHances are it's all fine, but I wouldn't want another parent to go through what we are going through now, if at all possible.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I have a bit of a different experience with this. It's in no way to worry you, but wanted to share my child's past. My now 7 year old had a very difficult time learning his ABCs and 123s, could barely write his name leaving preschool(just Ben, never mind Benjamin), etc. I had concerns as well, because these were things that I was shocked he wasn't picking up. I had voiced my concerns to his ped, his preschool teacher both years at 3 and 4, as well as his kindergarden teacher. Every single one of them had told me basically 'he is fine', 'he's a boy', and 'don't worry'. I shold say he went to a private kindergarden since our public was just a couple of hours and I had a newborn, and wanted him in school all day.

Anyway, he just finished 1st grade, at the public school, and is getting ready to go into second. It was like a brick had been slammed in front of me at teacher conferences. His 1st grade teacher had many concerns. Finally, an educator who was seeing what I was seeing...but why did it take until now?! He started 1st grade so far behind, and has worked really really hard, but is still about a half grade level behind.

I have done a lot of reading and research on reading disabilities, and have been shocked to find that he very well did in fact exhibit many many of the characteristics, but none of the educators, including his physician knew that all of my concerns were indeed signs of a reading disorder. Many start to show at the preschool age, but by the time it is picked up it is usually pretty late...can be as late as 3rd grade.

I say all of this not to make you worry, but because it *can* but doesn't *always* point in that direction. If any of the educators up until that point had known about this, I could have saved my son a lot of trouble, and he could have begun learning in the way best suited for his brain. Now i am in the process of hiring a tutor for him to teach him in a special way to the tune of 35-75$/hr

He too is extremely bright, comes from a family of very well educated people, some of which have very high level IQs, and I *never* thought it would happen to my child. I learned to read before I turned 3, so it was so surprising to me.

Anyway, you got some great advice already....I just wanted to give another perspective for you to keep in your mind, just in case in the months ahead, he is still having trouble. CHances are it's all fine, but I wouldn't want another parent to go through what we are going through now, if at all possible.

good luck to you and your son and thanks for your advice. would you mind telling me the signs, esp those for a preschooler?

 

[Shelly888]

http://www.readingrockets.org/article/227/

Here is a well written article reprinted by the IAD

http://dyslexia.mtsu.edu/modules/articles/displayarticle.jsp?id=20

~delayed speech (not speaking any words by the child's first birthday. Often, they don't start talking until they are two, two-and-a-half, three, or even older.)***Ben had this***

~mixing up sounds in multi-syllabic words (ex: aminal for animal, bisghetti for spaghetti, hekalopter for helicopter, hangaberg for hamburger, mazageen for magazine, etc.)***He still does this***

~early stuttering or cluttering

~lots of ear infections***had mild undiagnosed hearing loss for years***

~can't master tying shoes***still can't***

~confusion over left versus right, over versus under, before versus after, and other directionality words and concepts **not a problem***

~late to establish a dominant hand***he is a lefty, but picked within normal range***

~May switch from right hand to left hand while coloring, writing, or doing any other task. Eventually, the child will usually establish a preferred hand, but it may not be until they are 7 or 8. Even then, they may use one hand for writing, but the other hand for sports.***I've never really noticed this***

~inability to correctly complete phonemic awareness task
despite listening to stories that contain lots of rhyming words, such as Dr. Seuss, cannot tell you words that rhyme with cat or seat by the age of four-and-a-half ***he did okay with rhyming***

~difficulty learning the names of the letters or sounds in the alphabet; difficulty writing the alphabet in order***yes***

~Trouble correctly articulating R's and L's as well as M's and N's. They often have "immature" speech. They may still be saying "wed and gween" instead of "red and green" in second or third grade.***had speech therapy for years***


But, he was also very advanced in many areas, and I had many strangers tell me often how precocious he was as well. Things I didn't even realize. He could correctly ride a tricycle the day after he turned 2...most kids don't stat until 3. He has always been excellent at building with blocks and makes fantastic structures. He has a fabulous imagination as well as a fantastic creative streak, etc.

PS BTW, Walt Disney was also dyslexic. As you can see there are many S&S of it in a young child, and it is certainly more than just learning the abcs and 123s, but being a new mom, I was unaware of any of the other signs, and had I know, he would have gotten help much sooner.

 

[Fyrefly]

He sounds smart. Just because a kid doesn't care about letters at 3 doesn't necessarily mean he has dyslexia or developmental disabilities or any other dramatic thing wrong with him.

Adults are allowed to find some things boring and some things exciting. Why not kids? They're people too. He might just not care about letters right now.

Don't worry about flashcards and worksheets and fancy DVDs and game systems. Read to him. Read the book 20 times if he asks "again" Read in the morning, read at night. Read all kinds of stories. If you don't have time to read to him, get recordings at the library so he can "read to himself" Play games with letters if you want, but above all, READ. Studies time and time again have shown that the single best educational thing you can do for your kid in these early years is read to them. The library should be your best friend. Even if he is slow at reading himself, seeing you read and associating good memories with words and letters and books is healthy. And give him credit, he might pick up more than you notice just by not being pressured to do so.

Try to relax and good luck!

 

[monorailsilver]

I wouldn't worry.

My first child learned her letters at about 15 months followed by the states but ask her 10 year old self today what state is what & she has no clue. She picked up stuff easily back then & now...well she is 10 ya know!

My 2nd child knew the letters but he learned them not at 15 months but before school. During school he had no desire to learn any new words other then his site words.

My 3rd is entering K this fall. Up until a year ago she had no desire to learn anything. I mean she was learning when we told her stuff but really had no drive to learn it. I was OK with that because I knew she'd learn it in K. Well she knows by site all her letters & numbers up to 20 but can count higher & I just started to teach her words & how to spell them. They are the site words they are going to learn in K so I figured this was a head start. She can spell a few of them & find them on a page in a book.

So basically what I am trying to say is that he will learn them if not now, eventually.

Oh & I used to sing a song that I think I made up "A is for apple (or ant or whatever), B is for ball, C is for crayon, D is for donut, E is for elephant..." etc...

 

[nessz79]

Tune out everyone and anyone who wants to brag about how quickly their child learned things. First, it's probably exagerrated. Second, they ALL catch up to each other around 2nd/3rd grade, and it's the kids with the will and desire to excel that DO excel in school, not the ones who learned their letters and numbers early on.

 

[Momof2princess']

I have a few ideas to add that have worked for my DD. A little background first, she doesn't learn in a 'normal' setting. She did preschool for 2 years and learned absolutely nothing. She loved it, had no problem sitting and listening, following directions, etc. She just didn't learn anything. We started doing letter sounds at home, spending a week on one letter. I'd pick a random letter for the week, lets say O, we went to the library and found books that started with that sound, like Oscar Otter or Paul Bunyon and his blue Ox, etc. We danced and sang opera music, built and obstacle course, glued cherriO's (they look like the letter o) to paper in the shape of an O, eat an omelet, etc. It worked to get her to recognize the letters and associate them with the corresponding sound. We also sang the leapfrog song O says 'ah' and she would have to fill in the sound that O said or vice versa.
When she got a little older and was expressing more interest in reading (shes almost 5 now) we got the book Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. It's fabulous! I wouldn't recommend it for a 3yr old, but at 5 its a great book! My DD loves doing it and her confidence has soared! She went from saying I cant read (even though she knew all the letters and sounds, she just had a block when we tried to put them together) to reading everything everywhere.
My last suggestion is to make a memory game. Take 5 or 6 letters at a time and play memory with them. Even if your son doesn't know the letters, he can recognize when they are the same and you can tell him this is a __.
Good luck and enjoy this age! 3 is such a fun age of discovery!

 

[mjkacmom]

Thanks for making a first time mama feel better. I really don't care for me, I just have talked to other parents with kids similar ages who children seem to have that. And being a first time mom, I wasn't sure if this meant my son was behind. I just want him to be happy. And don't worry - once he makes a fuss about it, I immediately stop bc I don't want him to hate it. And he is a strong willed little boy, so you are probably right about him taking control!

I did jot down a lot of these great ideas like the leapfrog, starfall, poster w/ letters, etc. I think if I "sneak" it in, he'll think it's his idea and like it -thanks again!

Edited to add: I just ordered leapfrog letter and number factory - best $15 I've ever spent! I'll update in a few weeks!

The great thing about the DVD's is that the kids LOVE them! Let us know!

 

[amym2]

My first thought was, "Why does he need to recognize letters at 3 1/2?"

In reality, until a child is ready to connect letters and sounds, recognizing letters doesn't mean much. Many toddlers can sing the ABC song and point to letters but they have no idea what they mean. And they don't need to.

I can relate to the poster who said her DS learned numbers by Thomas trains. My DS was the same way. We had wooden trains and he would ask me the letters on the bottom of the trains. He did this on his own time, when he became curious (probably age 3 1/2 to 4). He knew his letters by the end of preschool, but he hated learning to read in K. I was worried, but he picked it up on his own terms and by the end of 1st grade he was a fluent reader. He's now entering 4th grade and scores 98th% which is something like 9th grade. Guess I didn't need to worry.

In most cases, reading difficulties are largely "brushed off" until a child is at least age 7 because that is when most children have hit many developmental milestones. There are plenty of cases of kids who struggled in K but reading "clicked" in 1st grade. Of course there are also cases of children who continue to struggle and something else is going on. It takes time to figure out what that something is. And unfortunately by then the child and parents may really be frustrated, like a previous poster said.

OP- just keep doing what you're doing and read, read, read!

 

[chekhovgirl]

Buy a set of Montessori sandpaper letters and look up how to use them I highly recommend something like that over a website.

 

[susykt4]

I'm with those who advise to try not to get caught up in the parent competition. My best childhood friend and I had babies at the same time and I thought it would be the greatest thing ever. Unfortunately, she was extremely competetive and I wasn't. She was so jealous that my son walked early she would constantly call and brag about whatever her daughter could do better. My son had a strong gag reflex and took forever to eat solid foods. She would actually try to rub it in my face that her daughter could eat cheerios. The kids are 8 now and they both walk AND eat solid foods!!!!

My oldest child went into kindergarten knowing how to read, how to count to 1000, you name it. She was BORED TO DEATH the entire first semester while the rest of the class caught up. For her, it was a negative start to school that took several years to recover and she just finally in 5th grade started to show her true potential. It's hard, but try not to get caught up in the crazy competition! It's pointless! Oh, and at 3 1/2 my son would NEVER have sat and watched a Leapfrog video. He ONLY cared about cars, trains and planes and had no patience for watching any tv or videos. If they work for your son, great! If they don't, you're not the only one.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I have a few ideas to add that have worked for my DD. A little background first, she doesn't learn in a 'normal' setting. She did preschool for 2 years and learned absolutely nothing. She loved it, had no problem sitting and listening, following directions, etc. She just didn't learn anything. We started doing letter sounds at home, spending a week on one letter. I'd pick a random letter for the week, lets say O, we went to the library and found books that started with that sound, like Oscar Otter or Paul Bunyon and his blue Ox, etc. We danced and sang opera music, built and obstacle course, glued cherriO's (they look like the letter o) to paper in the shape of an O, eat an omelet, etc. It worked to get her to recognize the letters and associate them with the corresponding sound. We also sang the leapfrog song O says 'ah' and she would have to fill in the sound that O said or vice versa.
When she got a little older and was expressing more interest in reading (shes almost 5 now) we got the book Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. It's fabulous! I wouldn't recommend it for a 3yr old, but at 5 its a great book! My DD loves doing it and her confidence has soared! She went from saying I cant read (even though she knew all the letters and sounds, she just had a block when we tried to put them together) to reading everything everywhere.
My last suggestion is to make a memory game. Take 5 or 6 letters at a time and play memory with them. Even if your son doesn't know the letters, he can recognize when they are the same and you can tell him this is a __.
Good luck and enjoy this age! 3 is such a fun age of discovery!

Great ideas - one though, the memory game, I did do - went over like a lead balloon - funny thing is, he LOVES his other memory games, (especially superhero squad as he loves all things superhero) and actually kicks my rear in them without me "cheating" to lose.

 

[RadioFanatic]

OP here again - I just want to thank again everyone for all of the suggestions. They are definitely going to be used. But pls don't think I'm being competitive, bc that's not my nature for my child. Bc he is an only, however, I can only gauge by what others are doing. And it seemed he wasn't quite there. I can see now that I'm worrying for nothing. It's like when I never thought he would talk - now - WOW - he never stops! And his vocab I didn't know a 3 year old could know so many words!