Help me keep this in perspective

[Christopher Robin]

Yes.

 

[Skatermom23]

OK.

I was at scout camp recently with my son and several others. They were molasses getting around from time to time. Swatted the last in line on a couple occasions probably. Got them moving.

Was the book the 'Webelos handbook', maybe a quick "let's get going thing'? Were other kids equally dealt with? If so, no problem. There are instances where I would be OK with it.

(OT to others, if I can't use discretion and disicpline your kid in an appropiate manner, fine. Just let me know up front. But don't expect me then to hug them if they are hurt or crying, boost them up to get a drink from the fountain, or hold thier hand if they are afraid to walk to the outhouse in the dark. I am an adult, treat me like one. If you don't want to, fine. Just call off work be at the 4 night camp out and do it yourself, or keep your child away. You have choices.)

Well said.

 

[ckay87]

OK, this is just me. I'm a trained BSA leader, as is DH, and this is how I would handle it if I wanted to maintain a decent relationship with the adult, and still let her know she was wrong.

I'd tell her that I heard about the incident and understand her frustrations, but she has to realize that kind of behavior could get her in big trouble, and if it was someone else's child, she could really be in trouble. That kind of thing.
That way, you've shown your disapproval and made her understand that she can't do it in the future. You might also want to say something to the committee chair or cubmaster.

This is exactly what I did, along with a reminder to brush up on her BSA Youth Protection Training, and provided her with a link.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm in the it's no big deal camp. My goodness he is 11! probably as big as the leader and she swatted him on the behind with a book to get going, yes I can see where that would do real physical harm! If I was 11 and wasn't listening I would have been to embarrassed to tell my Mom 'cause she would have been yelling at me for not listening and telling me I deserved worse. And I would do the same with my kids. In fact at the next meeting they would be apologizing to her.

To all the oh my Goodness call, the authorities it is a big deal. Well I hope your kids don't mind not doing a thing the rest of their childhood-no scouts, no church groups, 4H you name it unless you plan on doing every activity yourself because with your "rules" no adult in their right mind would come 6 feet from your kids. I guess I better quit leading VBS or Scouts because heaven forbid I have swatted kids with their handbooks or my clip board or a piece of fun foam to get their attention or to get them moving most kids laugh and the parents say good for you. First they took away kids playgrounds, then the games,now an adult can't even touch another child, I'm glad I'm grown and my kids are getting older. Childhood is no fun anymore.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm in the it's no big deal camp. My goodness he is 11! probably as big as the leader and she swatted him on the behind with a book to get going, yes I can see where that would do real physical harm! If I was 11 and wasn't listening I would have been to embarrassed to tell my Mom 'cause she would have been yelling at me for not listening and telling me I deserved worse. And I would do the same with my kids. In fact at the next meeting they would be apologizing to her.

To all the oh my Goodness call, the authorities it is a big deal. Well I hope your kids don't mind not doing a thing the rest of their childhood-no scouts, no church groups, 4H you name it unless you plan on doing every activity yourself because with your "rules" no adult in their right mind would come 6 feet from your kids. I guess I better quit leading VBS or Scouts because heaven forbid I have swatted kids with their handbooks or my clip board or a piece of fun foam to get their attention or to get them moving most kids laugh and the parents say good for you. First they took away kids playgrounds, then the games,now an adult can't even touch another child, I'm glad I'm grown and my kids are getting older. Childhood is no fun anymore.

It's getting to where parents actually fear another adult influencing their child in any manner whatsoever, whether it's good OR bad. It's unreal!

IMO, if this was just a case of the adult swatting the kid along in a joking manner, then I don't see a big deal at all. Paddling or spanking, is a whole different issue, but that's not what I'm getting from this situation.

 

[ckay87]

I'm in the it's no big deal camp. My goodness he is 11! probably as big as the leader and she swatted him on the behind with a book to get going, yes I can see where that would do real physical harm! If I was 11 and wasn't listening I would have been to embarrassed to tell my Mom 'cause she would have been yelling at me for not listening and telling me I deserved worse. And I would do the same with my kids. In fact at the next meeting they would be apologizing to her.

While I appreciate your perspective, the sarcasm is uncalled for as I never once expressed that he was caused physical harm.

I'm annoyed because I AM a leader and I do NOT swat around bratty kids and I do hold other adults to the same standards which is, perhaps, foolish of me.

And it's kind of personal too because I just took her kid on an outing and he is NO JOY to be with either.

 

[Hannathy]

I was responding to the call the authorities folks ,who should only be called for real physical harm. I just don't see a good natured swat on the behind being anything that would cause harm or be more than a come on let's get moving and don't call that swatting around kids.

 

[ticktock]

OK.

I was at scout camp recently with my son and several others. They were molasses getting around from time to time. Swatted the last in line on a couple occasions probably. Got them moving.

Was the book the 'Webelos handbook', maybe a quick "let's get going thing'? Were other kids equally dealt with? If so, no problem. There are instances where I would be OK with it.

(OT to others, if I can't use discretion and disicpline your kid in an appropiate manner, fine. Just let me know up front. But don't expect me then to hug them if they are hurt or crying, boost them up to get a drink from the fountain, or hold thier hand if they are afraid to walk to the outhouse in the dark. I am an adult, treat me like one. If you don't want to, fine. Just call off work be at the 4 night camp out and do it yourself, or keep your child away. You have choices.)

I love your responce. So many people today think their child is the center of the universe. It is usually the kids of these "no spank parents" that are the most trouble and selfishly take up so much of the groups time with their misbehaviour. If their kid is so precious they need to be the one taking time off work and sweating like a pig out in the woods. I volunteered for scout camp ONE year, never again (we're in Fl, it is so hot, now DS goes to BS camp up north). Thank you for your valuable contribution to the lives of so many boys!

 

[Skywalker]

If I'd told my parents that an adult gave me a swat because I would not stay on the path, they would have just said, "Well, you should have stayed on the path!". LOL.

I really don't think the situation as described needs to be blown out of proportion. I don't think your child was abused or mistreated in any way. It doesn't seem like it was a hit intended to harm or anything.

If you know this person to be a normal, reasonable, adult, I'd leave it. And yet there are some people who would call the police! Yikes, such a wide variety of responses, OP, I can see where you yourself might be pulled in two directions as well.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

No one, and I mean no one, hits my child. Not me, not my husband, no one.

I would have called the police and pressed charges.

No second chances. No explanations.

I don't care what the situation was. I don't care what his excuse is.

End of story.

 

[Keli]

You know, you are going to get opinions out the wazoo because spanking is such a volatile issue.

But it really doesn't sound like to me that your ds got a spanking. It sounds like she was shooing him back into the path by swatting him on the tush with a book when he had disobeyed and left the path in the first place.

Honestly, I'm guessing it embarrassed your ds and that's why he is upset over it. But a little embarrassment isn't the worst thing that could happen to a kid who isn't obeying or respecting his leaders. Now if it had hurt or been an actual whipping (ok, that's what we called spankings, lol) then I'd be the first to be very angry and upset.

I guess I would feel like this was a lesson for my child to obey those in authority. And I know I would not make a big deal out of it.

 

[Luv'sTink]

I was responding to the call the authorities folks ,who should only be called for real physical harm. I just don't see a good natured swat on the behind being anything that would cause harm or be more than a come on let's get moving and don't call that swatting around kids.

I have a feeling even if the police were called they would say there was nothing they could/would do about it without witnesses or physical proof. They probably wouldn't even write a report on it.

My brother took his son to the hospital with hand print welts on his body from his ex-wifes boyfriend and they did nothing wouldn't even call the cops or take pictures. CPS didn't even do anything.

 

[lulugirl]

No one, and I mean no one, hits my child. Not me, not my husband, no one.

I would have called the police and pressed charges.

No second chances. No explanations.

I don't care what the situation was. I don't care what his excuse is.

End of story.

The police would probably laugh at you and I wouldn't blame them.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Want to add, since I posted just after reading the OP.

My children spend every summer at camp (my dd for 4 weeks, my ds for 8 weeks). They go hiking, canoeing, leaving their actual camp for 4-7 days at a time.

None of these kids get a "whack" to move it along. Effective leadership doesn't require such behavior, as is evidenced by the OP who doesn't need to resort to such tactics.

I have never, ever hit my children - not jokingly, not as punishment, not for any reason. I would be furious. And, let's take it a step further - what if the camper spanked/slapped another camper or the leader? Would that behavior be condoned? I think not.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I think it would make a difference to me if the spanker was a teacher, as opposed to a scout leader. When I send my kid to school, I'm asking my child's teacher to act in loco parentis. They're there to teach the lessons I can't always be around to teach, and that includes behavioral modification. I would have no problem spanking a child lightly for warranted behavior myself, so I can't comment on a pseudo-me doing the same.

A scout leader, however, is the same to me as a baby-sitter. Regardless, I wouldn't write a pissy letter. I'd just tell them to please not do that in the future.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

The police would probably laugh at you and I wouldn't blame them.

So you condone people just walking around smacking each other to get them moving along? I'll remember that next time I'm in Disney World - first slow moving moron in front of me I'll give a "friendly" smack in the ***.

It is absolutely innappropriate, inexcusable, illegal behavior and not one any leader should be passing along to children of any age.

My children don't go around hitting other people to make their point and I don't expect them to be hit either. In fact, if a child did this to another child in school (even well meaning) they'd end up suspended. Please, I'm not debating this - I would take this as far as it could go. No one touches my children and gets away with it. End of story.

 

[mickeylove2]

To the other posters who have commented that "it was just a swat to get moving" have you ever been hiking on a trail through the woods??? Have you ever taken children hiking on a trail through the woods??? If you have, you would be aware that even a "little swat" could have resulted in this boy losing his footing and falling- with the possibility of injury. Whether the scout leader meant any harm or not, this was very irresponsible- someone could have been hurt, period! No question about it, this was wrong! I've taken my DDs GS troop on hikes and we always stress to them to keep their hands to themselves for the exact reason I've stated, why is it any different for an adult!

 

[lulugirl]

So you condone people just walking around smacking each other to get them moving along? I'll remember that next time I'm in Disney World - first slow moving moron in front of me I'll give a "friendly" smack in the ***.

It is absolutely innappropriate, inexcusable, illegal behavior and not one any leader should be passing along to children of any age.

My children don't go around hitting other people to make their point and I don't expect them to be hit either. In fact, if a child did this to another child in school (even well meaning) they'd end up suspended. Please, I'm not debating this - I would take this as far as it could go. No one touches my children and gets away with it. End of story.

I never suggested it was "okay" but seriously I think your reaction is beyond absurd. Calling the authorities over this IMO is a HUGE overreaction and a complete waste of the police departments resources.

 

[Tybug]

I'm in the it's no big deal camp. My goodness he is 11! probably as big as the leader and she swatted him on the behind with a book to get going, yes I can see where that would do real physical harm! If I was 11 and wasn't listening I would have been to embarrassed to tell my Mom 'cause she would have been yelling at me for not listening and telling me I deserved worse. And I would do the same with my kids. In fact at the next meeting they would be apologizing to her.

To all the oh my Goodness call, the authorities it is a big deal. Well I hope your kids don't mind not doing a thing the rest of their childhood-no scouts, no church groups, 4H you name it unless you plan on doing every activity yourself because with your "rules" no adult in their right mind would come 6 feet from your kids. I guess I better quit leading VBS or Scouts because heaven forbid I have swatted kids with their handbooks or my clip board or a piece of fun foam to get their attention or to get them moving most kids laugh and the parents say good for you. First they took away kids playgrounds, then the games,now an adult can't even touch another child, I'm glad I'm grown and my kids are getting older. Childhood is no fun anymore.

I agree with everything Hannathy said! Seems this was a shoo-ing kind of thing and not a hitting kind of thing. There is a HUGE difference.

I was a scout leader for 7 years and even though I do not recall ever swatting one of my boys with a book on the tush to hurry them up, I won't say that it never happened.

 

[lulugirl]

I agree with everything Hanathy said! Seems this was a shoo-ing kind of thing and not a hitting kind of thing. There is a HUGE difference.

I also agree w/ Hannathy.
It's astonishing to me that some people actually don't see a difference
OP...I'm not referring to you, I mean those who think calling the police is an appropriate response.