Help!!! Is my vacation ruined?!

[chickenskin]

Can't say I would blame him. I know I'd dump a guy who suddenly sprang his mom on my vacation. Sorry Op, at 22 I think some ground rules need to be established. Daddy needs his own room. How long does he plan on sharing a room with his adult daughter? When you're 30? 40?.

I was in a similar relationship with a girl of the same age, she had the exact same issues with her family, we broke up within 3 months. I know this isn't answering your main question, but it sounds like you have much greater issues to deal with than your trip to Disney. I agree you should just cancel and get a handle on the situation with your Dad. Maybe my parents were very liberal but I packed up and moved to Colorado at the age of 18, they were very supportive.

 

[JAHokie46]

That's crazy OP.

So you've planned a romantic trip with just you BF, and your dad suddenly demands that not only he go with you, but that he stays in the room with you? I simply tell him "NO, this is a trip for the two of us. And that's that.

It's one thing for a family to hear about a trip you're taking and since you take trips each yet, want to join in.

It's quite another to impose themselves into your trip, ruin your romantic getaway plans, and impose himself into your room for the vacation.

I simply wouldn't have it.

I'd either cancel in a heartbeat or tell the dad "No".

 

[ldo]

well, I think you have to think about short-term and long term. If BF has traveled with family before and is basically considered like apart of the family (how great), then sharing the room is really no big deal.
Since you live at home, there is a degree of adhering to your Dad's wishes that comes with that. And it may be "old fashioned," but not sleeping in the same bed would be one of those things.
I would get Dad his own room only room at Pop---explain the tickets. And, maybe even let BF stay in Dad's room--it's only a few nights and in the scheme of things, it goes a long way towards goodwill with your Dad--or bring an aerobed and then not get PH and waterparks. Also, look around, there might be some good deals for room only rates.
One last thing, since you are driving, there are other nice places, as well. for example, Hilton Grand Vacation Club can be booked online at hilton and it sometimes has 1 BR (king and sofabed) with full kitchen, living room, dining table for 6 for $119 or so--it's VERY fancy and the grounds and pools are very nice--just a thought--good luck. Elaine

 

[DJ Disney Kid]

If it were me, I would keep my package and book a room only ressie for your Dad.

Sounds like dad wants to keep an eye on the "package" too.

 

[fakereadhed]

The real problem is you can't have it both ways. You can't be independent and have your father pay for stuff at the same time. I know you were asking advice on accommodations, but the solutions are: (a)Go along with Dad's demands even though it drives you crazy but continue to let him pay(b)wait until you are totally paying your own way in life before you take your dream trip. Best of luck to you!

 

[maciemouse]

Have you thought about connecting rooms? You can get your dad a connecting room at POP and just keep the door open.

 

[kvogel11202]

I know this is something a lot of people don't agree with, but the OP is trying to respect her fathers wishes, and I agree with her. I'd rather replan my trip to include him. Maybe, and I've seen this with my dad, he sees her growing up and is trying to hold onto his daughter as long as he can. Men don't always handle their little girls growing up very well, and do the best they can. I give the OP credit for being so sensative to her dads obvious feelings about the issue. Maybe that's a part of the problem with so many marriages falling apart these days. Not being able to have "relations" at Disney is certainly not a reason to break off a relationship, not a real, lasting one based on more than the physical. Lets get some perspective. It just shocks me that so many think she should treat her dad so poorly or cancel her trip.

 

[WildernessBride]

This is just crazy. You seem to be accepting of the fact that your father has completely screwed you over so I will let that go.

If I were you, I'd cancel the trip. WDW is magical, yes we know, but 2's a company, 3's a crowd. Granted, my parents and I are very respectful of each other and I'm very responsible, but if I were in your shoes, I would tell my dad I was canceling because of him. Lay on the guilt trip. He is being ridiculous.

I gotta agree with that! I know you want to just find out about how to save your vacation, but...you are in college and over legal age, Dad should be a little more flexible in my opinion . He knows your DBF, it's not like you are taking off with some guy you met a month ago! I would cancel the trip. Just my opinion though!!!

 

[lilyv]

Have you thought about connecting rooms? You can get your dad a connecting room at POP and just keep the door open.

I do understand this is an option, but isn't that what parents do with 10 year olds? Dad has no business babysitting/monitoring/watching/observing his adult 22 year old and her boyfriend. So icky!!!!

 

[mom2my3kids]

 

[WildernessBride]

I do understand this is an option, but isn't that what parents do with 10 year olds? Dad has no business babysitting/monitoring/watching/observing his adult 22 year old and her boyfriend. So icky!!!!

I agree....icky is a great word for this!!!

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

Can't say I would blame him. I know I'd dump a guy who suddenly sprang his mom on my vacation. Sorry Op, at 22 I think some ground rules need to be established. Daddy needs his own room. How long does he plan on sharing a room with his adult daughter? When you're 30? 40?.

I'd totally dump a guy for the same reason. It's just creepy, icky and clingy, I dunno. I definitely respect a guy who loves his family but c'mon, cut the umbilical cord already!

 

[momof3littlelilos]

So, I have planned a wonderful romantic trip for my DBF and I. This will be our first ALONE! Well, today (1 week from my 45 day window might I add) my father decides that we're not allowed to go alone. WHAT?! Apparently at age 22 I'm not allowed to go on vacation unsupervised. But that's not the point here... How do I do this?

I am almost in tears. I had the perfect vacation planned and now

I don't think your father's being fair or reasonable. But I can also see how asserting yourself with your father might not be an option given that you're still living at home. Also, I agree that you need to tell DBF - I would ask him if he still wants to go on this vacation before you go out of your way to accomodate dad.
I would cancel. The romantic vacation you have planned is ruined, there's no way around that. I'm sorry for your disappointment

 

[JAHokie46]

I know this is something a lot of people don't agree with, but the OP is trying to respect her fathers wishes

What about the daughter's wishes?

he sees her growing up and is trying to hold onto his daughter as long as he can.

Then why not plan another trip for another time? Especially if he's going to only stay in the hotel all day and not even be involved in the parks?

It just shocks me that so many think she should treat her dad so poorly or cancel her trip.

It shocks me so many people think it's fair of her dad to treat her so poorly. She isn't a sixteen year old. She'll soon be graduating college, is old enough to drink, smoke, enlist in the military, and have adult relationships and a life. It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate to impose what he's done on his adult daughter.

Why is it OK for the dad to be so inconsiderate regarding his daughter? If she wanted it to be a family trip, she would have planned it as a family trip. And that's all there is to it.

 

[keylimepie]

Book a seperate room for your dad, let him deal with the issue when he gets there, and if he acts liek a baby about it, stay at the parks all day long where he wont be because he doesnt have tickets.

For my 18 bday i decided that since I was an adult, i was going to stay in a hotel room with my bf, at thattiemof only a couple months. Mymom freaked.."what if they have a hot tub?" My dads response? "then they will have a lot of fun!" lol And yes, i was living with them, and yes, they were payign for my college in part.

I am now married to that bf. 3 kids later, my parents love him, and when we were dating, they even let us sleep in the same bed. What were they goign to do? My mind was obviously made up, and they knew that I would just move in with him if they didn't allow it.

 

[bunny]

To the OP, I can totally relate. My parents are very conservative and they would have been really upset if I had gone on vacation with my boyfriend before getting married. I was never even allowed to have boys in my house when my parents weren't home up until the age of 25 (when I got married). To keep family harmony, respect your father's wishes and try to get another room at Pop. IMO, it is sweet instead of icky that your father cares enough about your virtue to want to protect you.

 

[helenk]

I say if your father insists on going with you and you seemed to be resolved with that, that is your business.
If it were me in this situation, I would either 1) cancel the vacation for now or 2) just go with this and book a second room.
Your father does not want tickets to the Parks?? What will he do while he is there?
Have him pay for his own room, book a room only for him, he can always get tickets later.
You can ask for connecting rooms but this is not a guarantee, especially since there are no young children in either of the rooms.
I would under no circumstances share a room with my father, while you understand why he wants to go, at your age you should not have to share a room, he can stay in his own room

 

[ekball]

Having a father who cares about you IS very sweet, but having a father who who doesn't respect you enough to let you grow up and make your own decisions as an adult is not. She is 22. She is an adult. Her father should respectfully let her make her own choices about where she vacations and with whom.

 

[LoraJ]

Having a father who cares about you IS very sweet, but having a father who who doesn't respect you enough to let you grow up and make your own decisions as an adult is not. She is 22. She is an adult. Her father should respectfully let her make her own choices about where she vacations and with whom.

I totally agree. The fact that her father doesn't even plan on going to the parks means that he just wants to make sure no funny business goes on with his daughter and her BF.

I would tell him no or cancel the trip.

 

[lilyv]

To the OP, I can totally relate. My parents are very conservative and they would have been really upset if I had gone on vacation with my boyfriend before getting married. I was never even allowed to have boys in my house when my parents weren't home up until the age of 25 (when I got married). To keep family harmony, respect your father's wishes and try to get another room at Pop. IMO, it is sweet instead of icky that your father cares enough about your virtue to want to protect you.

Well, I guess we see an older adult (Dad) watching a 22 year old woman and her boyfriend in a small, shared room in a different way. The kindest thing I can say is Dad is engaging in very icky behavior.