HELP! Ideas for Bachelor type party (clean)...raffles etc???

[The Mystery Machine]

You know, I was looking for game ideas, not to have our life choices bashed. Sorry if you think people can't have a good time without bars or strippers and that church would be the worst place to spend an evening with people you care about. No, it's not my cup of tea, but I respect that it is THEIR cup of tea. I think I have said that I am going to tell them again he doesn't want to do this (doesn't like crowds, nothing to do with drinking or church). BTW, he doesn't drink anyway, not that it's anyone's business but we have alcoholism in the family and he had a run-in with it through HS and after and is on his feet now. So peace out folks. Thanks to those who chose to offer ideas, and to those who thought it was better to bash a clean party where every age could get together....whatever. And especially thanks to those who chose to bash the Church in particular. Stay classy my friend.

Hey, if you want to do it go for it. I was not judging life choices here. It is just odd that the FIL told you to do this big party thing and you are doing it.

I just really do not get it I suppose.

 

[aprilgail]

Well, I really don't think I can say "I understand this is your tradition, but I refuse it". It's not like it's breaking the law or anything, just not my cup of tea. Everyone makes compromises when getting along with family, so this is mine And I did say he just wanted laser tag. I may mention it again, but really, I can't tell another grown person what they can or can not do when it is the "norm" in their circles. My sister said it's popular at their church too, so I guess maybe it's just us that thinks it's tacky! (my sister does too, her husband doesn't go to any of them)

you think it is tacky because it IS tacky! Charging people money to attend and then selling raffles with the groom getting the profits?? Wow, WAY beyond tacky!!

If it is such a big deal to THAT side of the family, they can plan it.

Having a BP at a church is just 10 kinds of wrong anyway in my book.

This makes it all the weirder- having this in a church?? Gambling?? Raffles are basically a form a gambling.

 

[teller80]

I too have alcoholism in my family, so I understand the not wanting to go to the typical party route. Kudos for supporting him, many people think "one or two drinks won't hurt" and don't realize the ramifications.

That being said, I think most people on this board feel:

1. If this is a tradition the other family has, and you feel rather squeamish (your word) hosting it, then don't.
2. More importantly, your son seems not to want to have it. Respect his wishes above anything else. He'll be your grandchildren's parent one day.

 

[DisReno]

I'm sorry...a bachelor party at a church? Where you can't play cards? I guess you can't have alcohol either. What kind of movie are they going to watch---a Disney movie. I just can't see a bunch of guys sitting around watching a movie at a church. It sounds completely lame and stupid. My husbands friend rented a luxury booth at a baseball game. And they drank. Then they went to a bar.

 

[mondragon]

I'm sorry...a bachelor party at a church? Where you can't play cards? I guess you can't have alcohol either. What kind of movie are they going to watch---a Disney movie. I just can't see a bunch of guys sitting around watching a movie at a church. It sounds completely lame and stupid. My husbands friend rented a luxury booth at a baseball game. And they drank. Then they went to a bar.

They can watch Kirk Cameron movies. Like someone mentioned above, raffles are a form of gambling. This sounds more like an engagement party rather than a bachelor party.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I agree with those that said don't plan this l raffle party if your son doesn't want it.

My DH had a low-key and family friendly bachelor party. He did paintballing in the early afternoon with the guys in the wedding party. Dinner at a hibachi grill that also included his dad and my dad. Followed by going to Dave and Busters for drinks and games. On the same day I had my party--tailgating and baseball game with the girls. We were both home by around 10:30pm.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

I've heard of these types of "pay-to-go" bachelor parties before. I think they are called "stag parties" where I am from. It seems like it is a tradition in the bride's family, and they are just trying to welcome the OP's son into "the fold" by doing this party for him. Yes, it is strange that the OP, as the mom, was asked to do the planning, but I'd like to believe the future FIL has his heart in the right place. Typically the people invited would be friends or family of the groom, and as such, would be happy to pony up $20 or so for a ticket. Yes, it is not my style, nor the OP's, but if the family members (at least on the bride's side) are all familiar with the tradition, they won't even bat an eye at it.

I realize the groom wants nothing to do with the party, but perhaps for family harmony he should go through with it. We all know that once you are married, you are "required" to do lots of things with your spouse's family that you may not really want to do. The groom might as well get used to sacrificing his own desires for the sake of his wife's happiness and for family harmony. If everyone in the world only did what they truly WANTED to do, I bet there would be a lot less family get-togethers of any type!

 

[ariel71]

I think we all know that if the bride's family insists on it, the groom himself is pretty much stuck. Doesn't mean OP needs to plan it (et tu, Brute?) OR that the groom's side of the family should be subjected to an unaccustomed money grab when they're already giving wedding and presumably bridal shower gifts.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've heard of these types of "pay-to-go" bachelor parties before. I think they are called "stag parties" where I am from. It seems like it is a tradition in the bride's family, and they are just trying to welcome the OP's son into "the fold" by doing this party for him. Yes, it is strange that the OP, as the mom, was asked to do the planning, but I'd like to believe the future FIL has his heart in the right place. Typically the people invited would be friends or family of the groom, and as such, would be happy to pony up $20 or so for a ticket. Yes, it is not my style, nor the OP's, but if the family members (at least on the bride's side) are all familiar with the tradition, they won't even bat an eye at it.

I realize the groom wants nothing to do with the party, but perhaps for family harmony he should go through with it. We all know that once you are married, you are "required" to do lots of things with your spouse's family that you may not really want to do. The groom might as well get used to sacrificing his own desires for the sake of his wife's happiness and for family harmony. If everyone in the world only did what they truly WANTED to do, I bet there would be a lot less family get-togethers of any type!

Stag parties traditionally have strippers.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_party

 

[aprilgail]

I think we all know that if the bride's family insists on it, the groom himself is pretty much stuck. Doesn't mean OP needs to plan it (et tu, Brute?) OR that the groom's side of the family should be subjected to an unaccustomed money grab when they're already giving wedding and presumably bridal shower gifts.

Probably that brides family are also the type that do that tacky pay to dance with the bride thing too...

 

[mondragon]

I think we all know that if the bride's family insists on it, the groom himself is pretty much stuck. Doesn't mean OP needs to plan it (et tu, Brute?) OR that the groom's side of the family should be subjected to an unaccustomed money grab when they're already giving wedding and presumably bridal shower gifts.

That's true. Not only do people have to pony up $$ for this party but then there is the wedding shower, the wedding gift plus any other expenses.

 

[mondragon]

Probably that brides family are also the type that do that tacky pay to dance with the bride thing too...

Oh wow. Didn't think of that. I remember a wedding I went to a long time ago where the bride wore something like a garter belt on her arm and everyone would pay $$ to dance with her. It was almost like a stripper dancing for her tips. Really tacky. The groom did the same thing. I remember there were a bunch of guys wanting to dance with the groom which made the brides family very uncomfortable since they were super holy rollers. Probably thought he was going to become gay after dancing with guys.

As far as the OP, seems like she is not respecting her sons wishes. SHe is only going by what the FIL wants.

 

[Poohforyou]

We have wine and beer tastings at our church as fund raisers so it can be a good spot to hold an event.

I'll agree that I'm not a fan of parties like the Op is describing but to each his own. Different customs makes life interesting.

Op, I think the Wii or Xbox tournament would be fun. I think a few theme gift baskets like grilling, sports or games would be good. Food is also good for a basket - maybe bacon themed.

Btw, we're having dd's 16th birthday party in our church hall. It's s great space and won't cost me anything - more to spend on fun stuff for the party.

 

[pat fan]

We have wine and beer tastings at our church as fund raisers so it can be a good spot to hold an event.

I'll agree that I'm not a fan of parties like the Op is describing but to each his own. Different customs makes life interesting.

Op, I think the Wii or Xbox tournament would be fun. I think a few theme gift baskets like grilling, sports or games would be good. Food is also good for a basket - maybe bacon themed.

Btw, we're having dd's 16th birthday party in our church hall. It's s great space and won't cost me anything - more to spend on fun stuff for the party.

Thanks. Good idea about the bacon basket, that could be fun to make!

For the record, it is not "me" planning this but all of us together. And they do not want it to be a surprise so I asked him and he's fine with it. And "her family" are very sweet people who are super excited their daughter is marrying such a great guy.

 

[dja14]

I think the title 'bachelor party' throws people off. It sounds more like a guy shower, around here people would bring tools, grill stuff. Not everyone does it but some families do.

I would also like to point out that in different areas of the country there are a lot of different customs that go along with weddings. In fact it was on here that I first read about giving a wedding gift that equals what it costs for your family to attend the wedding (the cost of the plate). Where I grew up a wedding gift was/is something personal, maybe a picture frame, a piece of your china. Where I live now the idea of a $500 wedding gift would make people shocked. I have learned to try and figure out expectations and fit into that when I can.

I think it is nice that they want to make your son feel welcomed. If your son mentioned lazer tag, maybe he is into sports (basketball tournament) or loves video games (wii or ps4 tournament) Either one could be fun with lots of trash talk and lots of simple snacks and food.

 

[misse336]

Ok I have never heard of this kind of bachelor party before so it must be a regional thing. Maybe you could ask the future fil what types of games they normally play and activities that they normally have at these events since it seems like he's been to a lot of them before. If there are multiple generations coming the games/baskets will need to be more diverse to appeal to everyone. I'd ask for raffle basket ideas too or at least ask what the men in their family are into so that the baskets appeal to someone. Good luck in your planning.


Raffle basket ideas:
-car wash supplies (wax, cleaning sponge, tire cleaner, window cleaner)
-grilling basket (marinades and/or tools)
-sports basket (local team items or sports equipment)
-movie bucket (redbox gift certificate with lots of munchie type food)
-golf bucket (tees, golf balls)


Game ideas:
-some type of video game tournament (maybe the winner could get a free raffle ticket?)
-dart boards are easy to transport and most guys love to play darts
-ladder toss games are popular here (they're usually done outside though but they may work in a gym if your church has one?)
http://www.amazon.com/GoSports-Prem...d=1435461165&sr=8-1&keywords=ladder+toss+game
-ping pong tournament (I know that there are some you can attach a net to a regular table)
-you may want to see what things the youth department has at the church too. I know growing up my youth group had an air hockey table and a foodsball table. If they have some of those types of things maybe you could incorporate those in too.
-A game playing in the background may be nice too.

 

[aprilgail]

Oh wow. Didn't think of that. I remember a wedding I went to a long time ago where the bride wore something like a garter belt on her arm and everyone would pay $$ to dance with her. It was almost like a stripper dancing for her tips. Really tacky. .

LOL that is EXACTLY what comes to mind with that money dance--a stripper!! Can't believe that is acceptable anywhere!

 

[kuhltiffany]

It is a money grab and hugely tacky. If her side wants it, let them organize it. No way I'd condone such a thing!

 

[kimblebee]

you think it is tacky because it IS tacky! Charging people money to attend and then selling raffles with the groom getting the profits?? Wow, WAY beyond tacky!!




This makes it all the weirder- having this in a church?? Gambling?? Raffles are basically a form a gambling.

I hate the word tacky so I will just say that you are rude.

My province is FAMOUS fora thing called the social. It's specifically to raise funds for the bride and groom. It's a big party and an average turnout is 200-300. You pay for tickets, you pay for drink tickets, you pay for silent auction tickets, you pay for 50/50 tickets, and you pay for the bottle raffle tickets. You go if you know the couple and even if you don't know them. It's usually the friend of a friend or the relative of someone you used to work with. No one gives a thought to paying for a party, it's a night out and people you didn't know came to your social so you pay it forward.

I guess that's why we're Friendly Manitoba.

I suggest you don't visit or the tackiness may rub off on you.

 

[mondragon]

Did OP mention how old her son and future DIL are? To me video games at a bachelor party is quite childish.