Help feed my picky child...

[r4blessings]

I have four kids, two are very picky and two are not and I truly believe they are born that way. Of course, we can help to change some of it, but my two sons were picky eaters from infancy while my daughter and younger son loved to eat anything off our plates from when they were babies as well.

My pediatrician always told me the worst thing you could do was engage in a battle of the wills with them over food. So I have taken what they will eat and made it healthier. I switched breads and pastas to whole wheat, low fat cheese, milk, healthy yogurt, egg beaters, turkey bacon, etc. I make my own pizzas for them with whole wheat crust and my sauce that has all kinds of veggies hidden into them. Switched burgers over to veggie burgers, etc.

We eat a lot of brown rice, and I found a hummus that they like. You could try things like that. I figure if I have to hide some veggies or protien in things they will eat, its better than them not eating it at all. And yes, 5 years later, they will eat brocoli (I just kept making it). Two younger kiddies love to eat anything/everything.

Good luck, just trying to switch to healthier alternatives!

 

[Mellie2162]

Just wanted to chime in. I have a picky ds10. Of course he likes to only eat the yummy kid foods and has always been like that even from infancy. I tried several times to make him eat new things. I would tell him he had to eat 2 bites and swallow, well that only ended up making him vomit in the kitchen can or on his plate and then everyones dinner was spoiled. Its so not worth it to force that on him. Usually I cook a meal that has something in it that he will eat and he eats that. I dont cook seperately. If there is something he wants seperate and he wants to make it then sometimes we will do that. Now that he is getting older we have sat down and talked a lot about eating healthier (mostly it was me talking about how i wanted to eat healthier) and we made a decision that each time we went to the store we would each pick out something new to try and that seems to have gotten him interested in new things. He has recently decided on his own that he will start trying new foods, but 1 bite and if he doesnt like it then no more. This past week alone he has tried baked chicken whcih he liked and ate more of, carrots which he said were ok but didnt really care for (although I saw him go back for another), and oatmeal which surprised the crap out of me. I told my dh i bet he takes one bite and thats it, well he ate the whole bowl. hang in there op. it took my dd a long time before she started trying new foods and now she will eat almost anything too.

 

[luvmy3]

I have a very picky ds who would live on PB&J for every meal if I let him. He odes eat that alot on whole wheat bread so its not too bad.
I am lucky in the sense that he does eat some veggies, and always drinks milk with his meals. I will only fix him a seperate dinner if I know he doesn't like what I make like when we have a mexican dish. He does not like spicy and i will not force him to eat it. I do make him eat any other dinner if it contains things I know he eats. If he chooses not to eat, then he goes to bed hungry, its not going to hurt him. Unfortunately my youngest ds is taking cues from him but I'm nipping that in the bud.


My SIL has 2 very picky eaters. Her ped. has told her kids that they must try new foods and take the number of bites that equal their age until they can decide whether they like it or not.

 

[froggy5657]

When I wouldn't eat something my mom served like fish or arugula salad, she would always make me take a "good sport bite". (A large forkful or spoonful of whatever I wouldn't eat). This way I would at least TRY it and if I liked it I could have more. If I didn't take the bite, or put up a big fuss I wouldn't be able to have a sweet that night.

I would also make sure to explain to him that if he is having a meal at someone else's house he absolutely cannot say that he doesn't like what they are serving he needs to grin and bear it. I have had people over to my house who would just say that they didn't like what we were serving, and ask for a pizza or something.

Oh and if he doesn't like something here is a tip. Tell him to hold his breath while he eats it, he won't taste the nastyness of the thing he is eating.

 

[lonelydreamer]

I am an only child and my family ate out a lot. I was able to try new foods, but I ordered my own.

I'm a single mom of a 15 year old DS. We have eaten out most of the time until this year - my new year's resolution is for me to cook and we eat at home (UGH!). I never realized how picky my DS15 is until now!

I will say that for over a year when he was about 3 years old, the ONLY thing he would eat was PB & J and mashed potatoes. He lived.

 

[juligrl]

I think maybe I'm just a meanie tonight (or all the time). But my motto around here is that I am not a short order cook. You eat what I make or have two choices: go hungry or make yourself something else.

If I were in your shoes, with your DS already being so limited I might try to serve a favorite along with a new food. So, maybe a burger and broccoli. Insist that he have at least 3 bites of the new food. My DD (also 9) will eat anything, and I think that's because I've never made a special meal for her separate from from what I make for DH and myself. In fact, we just got back from dinner where she had several kinds of sushi (ick!!).

What I don't like about the "Deceptively Delicious" idea is that it doesn't really teach new or good eating habits. True, that it will get the right nutrients into them, and that's a good thing. But, IMHO, it just encourages continued poor eating habits if you're not teaching the kids to add new foods to their diets.

Personally, I'm a meanie too - the kids must try their age in bites, and my kids will eat just about anything. Also, my kids have never had a special meal made for them, so if they don't like what's for dinner....well it's a long time 'til breakfast. My kids are pretty good about opting to eat and they usually end up <gasp> liking what they didn't want to try in the first place.

Whatever works though is okay by me.

 

[Debbie7452]

I'm a grown up traumatized picky eater here...My parents forced me to eat the veggies I didn't like and sometimes held me down and forced the food in. I STILL cannot get over my pickiness and when people try to make me try something new that I don't want, I kind of freak out inside.

So now with my kids, I never pressure them to eat stuff they don't want. I'm not a short order cook, but they can eat cereal or a sandwich if they want.

I'm not criticizing what works for most families, but I hope no ones kids ever have to turn out like me...I know I am messed up, but I really can't help it! I hate almost all vegetables. I once told someone jokingly that I was an "anti-vegetarian" and they totally believed me

 

[Ty's_mom]

Well, he wasn't thrilled with the dinner tonight. He ate maybe half of the small portion I gave him. He did eat two pieces of the fresh itailan bread...
I didn't give into the sad look on his face all through dinner. It was hard.

Tomorrow we're having leftovers, I haven't told him yet.

 

[shortbun]

My neice is 20 and still only eats chicken tenders, mac and cheese and cheese burgers. Seriously. Her brother eats cheese burgers and green beans - only. Obviously, their parents never made them eat anything other than what they wanted. My son has stopped eating meat for moral reasons but otherwise, he'll eat anything. He's 13 and cooks a lot of his own food.

 

[Lib E]

I was a PICKY kid and I do have a couple texture issues and definitely things I can't stand still. My kids are all picky and I don't stress over it. If they don't like what we're having, they know where the cereal is.

They don't get burgers, chicken fingers, mac & cheese, etc. unless we're eating out and that doesn't happen too often. I also don't buy chips and we bake cookies together once a week. That and popcorn is really the only junk type food in the house. They do eat a ton of fruit. I probably spend more than $100 per week on fruit alone for the 3 of them.

Having them help in the prep & cooking of meal is one thing that really has helped open their palates up a bit. I've been amazed at what they've tried because they helped make it. I've also learned more about their issues, like bits of onion. Once we grated them and they're harder to find, the kids were all fine with onions being added to the food. I also got one of them to start eating marinara by making it a dipping sauce for mini meatballs. Now she'll eat it on the pasta! Yeah for small steps!

Good luck.

 

[4greatboys]

Out of 4 kids I have had 2 picky eaters. My second oldest, now 18, was a picky kid. I didn't let it stress me out. He just ate the things he liked and as he got older he ate more and more stuff.

My 3rd ds is picky too. My in laws are always trying to get me to force feed the kid and it aint happening. I'm sure the older he gets he will grow out of it like my older son and like I did. I was really a picky eater. I hated all vegetables and now I love them.

I understand not cooking a whole seperate meal for the kid, but a peanut butter sandwich is good for them, or something like that.

Good luck!

 

[Rence]

A few years back, they had a show (I think it was on 48 hours, not sure) about dealing with picky eaters. The show featured a number of families with very fussy eaters. The parents had tried numerous ploys to get their kids to eat, but nothing had worked.

They had an “expert” who had a system. They tried to get the families to give it a try, a couple of the families just couldn’t follow through, so they gave up and nothing changed. A couple families however, used the system and within a few weeks, the kids were eating things they wouldn’t touch before. It seemed to work.

The system was pretty simple. One meal is cooked, there are no special orders for anyone in the family. Eat it or go hungry (no child is going to be physically harmed by missing a meal). All food items must go on the plate. If your child hates broccoli and broccoli is served, the broccoli must go on the plate. The child doesn’t have to eat what is on their plate, but all the food items are served on the plate. (They said kids may throw a tantrum about the food on the plate, but they quickly get used to it, once the food is on the plate, it is much easier for a child to get curious and to try a bite on their own).

The other strict rule was that there was no discussion about food during meal time. Conversation was to focus on what everyone had done during the day, what they were looking forward to, etc. No food talk. Do not discuss the meal, don’t talk about what you like and don’t like – talk about other things.

This took the emphasis off of the food. It stopped the battles where the parents tried to force a child to try something and the child resists. The food is on the plate, when the pressure if off, the child may give it a try and find out that they like it.

Overtime, the meals became more relaxed and the kids started eating things they absolutely refused to before.

 

[merekc]

My DS6 will try anything and loves veggies. My DS3 is picky, picky, picky.

I too thought if you feed it to them, they will try it and probably like it. Worked with the first one, then DS3 came along. He won't eat a veggie to save his life. He once vomited after licking brocolli. It was no longer worth the battle.

My rules: I put the food on his plate and I try to make him take a bite. In the last six months we've started doing thumbs up/thumbs down. Everyone takes a bite of dinner and tells me what they think - up or down. This is getting him to at least try it. Most times he ends up liking it and will eat it. For us it is really the battle of getting him to try it since his first reaction to everything is...I don't like it.

If he takes a bite and doesn't like it, I will get him something else (something easy, I'm not making a 2nd meal). If he doesn't try it, then he goes hungry.

This is working really well for us (not to say we haven't had some tears and fits mixed in). I'm mainly using it with the main dish, I'm not pushing the veggies yet, but his time is coming.

 

[MoniqueU]

I don't get in food battles with my kids. I had parents force things on me when I was a kid, it didn't work and it pretty much made things worse. And yes I would go hungry that night and the next and the next til my mom was taking me to the doctor for being anorexic. She backed off after that.

I guess I am a short order cook. I don't really care as long as it is something that is easy to make and I don't have to physically touch any meat (more leftover trauma from childhood) and they eat what they asked for. It's no big deal to me I am not making a 5 course meal.

My kids eat lots of fruits, one eats tons of salads and most of them like stuff I still would never try when we go out to eat.

We do alot of soup, alot of pasta and alot of ramen. BFD to me. As long as none of my kids is losing weight or gaining alot all is well with me.

 

[Principessa1284]

When my brother was little (20 now), he was soooo picky. He would practically only eat plain hamburgers, cereal, chicken nuggets, and frozen waffles. My parents sure tried the "everyone eats the same thing" deal, and wouldn't let him leave the table until he ate something. It was awful - he would sit at the table and just cry because he was so hungry but he really didn't like anything that was given to him. He didn't have any "issues" but it tasted bad to him. He went with only eating breakfast for quite a while, and my parents finally decided to help cater to his likings because he was losing weight as a normal-sized 6-7 year old kid.

I'm sorry, but I think making them starve because they don't like how something tastes is just awful - I've seen it first hand. I'm by no means trying to judge, but I'm just saying what my experience has been.

A great thing we did do to get him to start eating was a rewards system. Try this food, and we'll put a star on your chart. So many stars, and he got to pick out a toy at the store. He still didn't like most of what he tried, but it got him into the mindset that it didn't kill him to take one bite!

Good luck!! And try not to worry TOO much - I'm sure you're a fantastic mom.

 

[Cindy B]

I must be mean too. My kids eat what I cook or they make thier own sandwich.

I don't give in to picky eaters.

 

[portocall]

I was a bit of a picky eater as a kid, but thankfully my parents had me try new things and I opened up a lot. Now there are things I still won't eat, seafood is a big one and coconut for example. I never force my kids to eat anything however, DH will ask them to try it after 6 months or so, just to make sure it isn't anygood. Some things they now love, others are still a no go. They have their "security" large glass of ice water "just in case" they hate it, but I think it is realistic to cook just one meal that includes at least one thing that everyone will eat. I make sure everything hits the plate, and I use divided plastic plates (because I have on of the no foods shall touch kids). Dinner is never a battle at our house, you eat or you don't. Breakfast and luch I will short order cook for however, so they have had at least two good healthy meals.

 

[Minnie]

I have a question.... why do some of you make such a big deal about someone - child or adult - being a picky eater

The child doesn't like anything served so he/she gets nothing to eat???? How the heck is that good for a growing child?????? Not even a peanut butter sandwich???? I just don't get it

 

[DLSuperVet]

I was a picky eater until my parents put their feet down and stopped letting me get my way. A few decades later I still love all forms of food.

My best advice for all new parents is to get them started on a healthy rounded diet early on and stick to it. A lot of parents are afraid that their kids will starve to death and will always give in just to make sure they eat. Hungry kids will eat. Be creative if you have to but don't compromise.

 

[C.Ann]

A few years back, they had a show (I think it was on 48 hours, not sure) about dealing with picky eaters. The show featured a number of families with very fussy eaters. The parents had tried numerous ploys to get their kids to eat, but nothing had worked.

They had an “expert” who had a system. They tried to get the families to give it a try, a couple of the families just couldn’t follow through, so they gave up and nothing changed. A couple families however, used the system and within a few weeks, the kids were eating things they wouldn’t touch before. It seemed to work.

The system was pretty simple. One meal is cooked, there are no special orders for anyone in the family. Eat it or go hungry (no child is going to be physically harmed by missing a meal). All food items must go on the plate. If your child hates broccoli and broccoli is served, the broccoli must go on the plate. The child doesn’t have to eat what is on their plate, but all the food items are served on the plate. (They said kids may throw a tantrum about the food on the plate, but they quickly get used to it, once the food is on the plate, it is much easier for a child to get curious and to try a bite on their own).

The other strict rule was that there was no discussion about food during meal time. Conversation was to focus on what everyone had done during the day, what they were looking forward to, etc. No food talk. Do not discuss the meal, don’t talk about what you like and don’t like – talk about other things.

This took the emphasis off of the food. It stopped the battles where the parents tried to force a child to try something and the child resists. The food is on the plate, when the pressure if off, the child may give it a try and find out that they like it.

Overtime, the meals became more relaxed and the kids started eating things they absolutely refused to before.

------------------

This seems very logical to me - probably because I was raised this way - and this is the way I raised my own children.. Of course I'm older than a lot of the mom's here and when I was a kid, "picky eaters" and mom's preparing separate meals for each child in the family was absolutely unheard of.. The meal was prepared, it was served, and we ate..

I don't ever remember going to bed hungry - because from day one I learned that you eat what is served.. My children never went to bed hungry either - for the same reason..

Shoot - I even ate the liver that my mom cooked until it was like shoe leather.. Why? Because that is what she was serving..

I honestly don't "get it".. I can't imagine a child having that much control over their parents.. It really does baffle me..