Help feed my picky child...

[mhsjax]

I completely sympathize with you. We have the same issues with my son.




Consider yourself lucky then, instead of judging people.

When my son was a baby, he had an extremely difficult time transitioning from baby food to table food...or even the more chunky toddler-type table food. When he was a year old, he still was physically unable to even have a 1/2 of a cheerio in his mouth without gagging...so he was still on baby food. He hating even touching many foods. You know the picture that so many people have of the kid on his first birthday with the cake smeared all over his face? My son wouldn't even stick a finger in his. He screamed bloody murder when we brushed his teeth, and actually gagged and vomited when we "tricked" him into trying a new food. At that age, that reaction has nothing to do with control and everything to do with some sort of sensory issue.
After many long discussions with his pediatrician, we went through our local early childhood intervention providers and had to have a therapist come in for oral-motor therapy a few times a week. We spent countless hours trying to basically get into his mouth...toothbrushes, spoons, toys...anything that would de-sensitize his reaction to having something in his mouth. After a while we started trying food...any kind of food...just to get him to hold it in his mouth without gagging. We were making a lot of progress, then he fell and knocked his front tooth out when he was 3...a pretty big a deal for most kids, but for a kid that has oral-motor and oral-sensory issues, it was a HUGE hurdle.
Eventually he was able to get past a lot of it - the texture of some things, and the still-missing tooth. But now at age 5 it's still a battle. He doesn't like thick lumpy things like oatmeal or mashed potatoes. His yogurt cannot have any pieces of fruit in it. Tomato sauce cannot be too chunky. He eats chicken and steak, but it has to be cut so small that I cannot even say for sure if he chews it before swallowing or just chokes it down. He won't bite into an apple or pear...it needs to be cut up.
The good news is that he doesn't like any kind of candy except for lollipops... no chocolate, no m&m's. And definitely no gum - when I chew it he makes faces and begs me to spit it out - just the thought of having something like that sit in his mouth disgusts him.
So...
He eats chicken. Prefers breaded, but will eat grilled etc. if he's hungry enough. But not turkey...unless it's a breaded turkey cutlet.
He eats steak/beef, but again, it must be very small pieces, drowned in ketchup.
He loves salad (w/ranch dressing) and I try to sneak in as much as I can there - peas, carrots, broccoli slaw, baby spinach.
He eats pasta, tomato sauce preferably on the side so any offending chunks can be dealt with. He also loves mac and cheese, so I make the home-made and try to make it a little healthier.
Pizza (but usually pulls the cheese off)
Peanut butter sandwiches, no jelly.
Cheese sandwiches, actually cheese in almost any form except on pizza.
French fries - crispy ones. Not thick steak fries - too much like mashed potatoes i guess.
There are more things, and although there is a little pattern to what he likes/dislikes, it all comes down to the texture more than the taste for him.

In a perfect world, would I prefer he eat a more varied diet? Of course.
Would I like for him to be able to "just try" something without gagging and vomiting? You bet.
Do I tire of people telling me he needs to "just get over it" or I should "force him", or "let him starve"...what do you think.

I'm happy that he is otherwise a happy, healthy, normal, intelligent kid. And after all this time, I'm happy that he eats what he eats at all...

Actually, compared to alot of kids, he really doesn't sound that picky at all, And I agree with him on the FF. can't stand steak fries. Kid can't be half bad. lol

 

[mjkacmom]

Okay, just made dinner for all of my picky and not-picky kids, and they all loved it. Chicken nuggets (I cut up boneless skinless breast, dipped in egg and breadcrumbs, browned in olive oil), edamame beans, and mashed potatoes (instant red ones from Costco, 1 gram of fat per serving, made with 1% milk). Not exciting, but healthy enough, and a big from the buttered noodle crowd, as well as the grilled salmon lovers.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Actually, compared to alot of kids, he really doesn't sound that picky at all, And I agree with him on the FF. can't stand steak fries. Kid can't be half bad. lol

That list does look pretty long to me...I guess I never really wrote it down before. There are even a few other things that I forgot too. But its only after many hours of oral motor therapy, crying, vomiting, gagging, begging, bribing, cheering, rewarding, and too many stand-offs to count.
Now, if only I didn't need to physically restrain him at the dentist, we'd be OK.

And...I agree with the steak fries too...YUCK!

 

[clutter]

I believe it is real and I think those children with sensory issues, especially to foods, are really easy to pick out and spot. Any person with intelligence can see it is not the same as the other legion of picky eaters that will only eat Kraft Macaroni, chicken McNuggets, and hot dogs. Generally, sensory issue kids have issues with those fabulous food also!

I'm not even saying this is all about what the OP posted as this thread has sort of gone on its own, but there are many kids out there, labeled picky by their parents, that really aren't at all but have been given convenience foods most of their lives or at the first "hint" of food resistance just because it's easier. I know because I've done it myself. I'm lucky in that my kids haven't gone nutty on me and have gotten indignant about what they'll eat, but they have gotten really spoiled by Chipotle, Arby's, Z-Pizza, etc. They hate my cooking!! I suppose if I didn't want to face the damage *I* have done, I might say "Oh they are picky" but, really, I'm angry with myself for letting them eat as much junk as they have in their teen years so that it's caused them to not appreciate a nice, self-prepared meal.

They are easy to spot. I figured there was something wrong with my dd when she tried to climb out of the high chair to get AWAY from unknown foods. She also never mouthed anything, so nothing ever went into her mouth unless she knew what it was.

(Other signs that it's a food issue rather than being picky has to do with things like a picky eater will eat something for a while, stop, then go back to it. A kid with food issues may drop some foods, but they don't go back to them. Generally a picky eater will eat something and drop it. A kid with food issues will most likely never put it in their mouth, or never eat it after trying it once. Kids with food issues will also usually have a characteristic that runs through acceptable foods. With my dd it was color and visual textures. She wouldn't necessarily try things that were in the range, but she ate NOTHING outside of the range.)

Christine, I had to laugh at your complaint about making your kids picky. I've done the opposite. After years and years of patience on my part and work on my dd11's part, she is now becoming a more varied eater. However, she LOVES a nice, home made meal (as well as carryout from better restaurants such as good chinese and other ethnic foods).

I long for the days that she ate fish sticks. Life was so much easier when I didn't have to plan (or pay for carryout) for a really good meal every night!!! No fast food or pizza for this kid!!! And can I tell you how expensive WDW is when she will no longer eat chicken nuggets, but prefers the better CS (like Sunshine Seasons) and sit-down meals??

 

[clutter]

That list does look pretty long to me...I guess I never really wrote it down before. There are even a few other things that I forgot too. But its only after many hours of oral motor therapy, crying, vomiting, gagging, begging, bribing, cheering, rewarding, and too many stand-offs to count.
Now, if only I didn't need to physically restrain him at the dentist, we'd be OK.

And...I agree with the steak fries too...YUCK!

Build on whatever successes you can. Soon, my dd was closer to 8, you may be able to reason with him about trying new foods. You like this, so I think you'll like that. It will feel sort of the same, but different in this way. It would take my dd months to decide to try something. Often she said no to it, and then would ask for it a month later and it would become a regular.

I have to laugh at the cheese. My dd would only eat slices of american cheese, the orange kind (that's the food issue talking). But she'd only eat the real cheese from the deli, not something like Kraft singles (that's picky). She would eat it in a grilled cheese, but not on a hamburger melted or a sandwich unmelted. She'd eat a tortilla and american cheese, and grilled cheese, but not a quesadilla. She would eat cheese on pizza, but nothing else. As fr mac & cheese, she refused to potty train because she thought she'd be going to a school where she'd have to eat it for lunch. No potty, no school, no mac & cheese.

 

[kafitty]

my 21 year old brother STILL subsists entirely on chicken (breast only), peanut butter (white bread), hamburgers (NO cheese or condiments), and mashed potatoes.

he IS starting to try some new foods, and is starting to like SOME new things...but that's pretty much it!

my parents never forced it, and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, who really knows. He's a BIG boy, so it's not like he's malnourished, lol.

 

[stinkerbelle7531]

my 21 year old brother STILL subsists entirely on chicken (breast only), peanut butter (white bread), hamburgers (NO cheese or condiments), and mashed potatoes.

he IS starting to try some new foods, and is starting to like SOME new things...but that's pretty much it!

my parents never forced it, and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, who really knows. He's a BIG boy, so it's not like he's malnourished, lol.

Size has little to do with whether your body is well nourished.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Build on whatever successes you can. Soon, my dd was closer to 8, you may be able to reason with him about trying new foods. You like this, so I think you'll like that. It will feel sort of the same, but different in this way. It would take my dd months to decide to try something. Often she said no to it, and then would ask for it a month later and it would become a regular.

Yeah - the reasoning isn't quite working yet, but everything in time I guess. We have a whole long thing we do with new foods that, to anyone not dealing with food issues, is probably ridiculous. It's all about going slow and multiple exposure...recommended by the OT.
The first day or 2 it has to be on his plate. He doesn't have to eat it, touch it, smell it, acknowledge it, but it has to BE there on the plate so the new food can "make friends" with his other food. He cannot remove it.
The next day or 2 he needs to touch it...either with his hands or pick it up with his fork and poke at it with his other hand...some means of physical contact. Doesn't have to be with his mouth, but physically feeling the texture in his hands gives him a clue about how it will feel in his mouth.
The next few days are a battle of wills. We generally try to get him to take 5 bites since he's 5 years old...and we're talking tiny bites. The first few times he'll maybe get 4 or 5 in, but usually 3 or 4 of those get spit out or he gags on them. And then we do it again...and again...and again...and again... until he either likes it or I see its going nowhere and we move on to something else.
And I just want to say these "new foods" are things like different vegetables, or some sort of protein that's cooked differently (chicken that is baked or grilled vs fried)...it's not like I'm giving him sushimi, blackened tuna or any of the things Andrew Zimmerman's eating on that "Bizarre Foods" show.

 

[allison443]

Oh, and regarding the pediatrician who prescribed Carnation with ice cream, well my doctor has done something similar. He is upset that my DD (17) won't eat breakfast (too lazy to cook for herself). He said that *any* food for breakfast--even junk--was preferable to not eating. You should have seen the look I gave him during that office visit! He told my DD--"Eat a Pop-Tart--eat ANYTHING--just eat." But, in no way did he thing that was the best choice.

That is my biggest problem, getting my kids to eat breakfast. My dd 17 is tall, skinny, very athletic and eats like a truck driver. Just doesn't want to get up in time to eat something before school So she winds up grabbing a pop tart or a granola bar or (occasionally) a bag of sliced apples to eat on the way. Last week she told me she took a small bag of Doritos My other dd is just not hungry in the morning and she has plenty of time to eat, but I can barely get her to eat anything. We have tried the instant breakfast and she will only have a couple of ounces...she will only eat a couple bites of cereal, or a couple bites of toast. She is not a huge eater the rest of the time-I guess average appetite.

They eat pretty healthy the rest of the time, but the breakfast thing bothers me because it's the "most important meal of the day". They do take vitamins but as I have to tell my dd, a vitamin is not breakfast.