Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[mom2rtk]

Well, Big Guy got his Calc Exam back. 96%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's one happy dude. Hoping he sees the correlation of study time to grade and keeps on studying!
He has no chance of an A in the class, but hopefully the B is within reach now!

That calls for some of these guys!



What a huge relief to both of you! And if it means he gets how different studying is in college than in high school, then it's a win/win!

Happy Halloween everyone!

 

[LisaR]

Thanks Lisa. One day at a time here. I know I was pretty homesick my entire first year away at school but did finally adjust. Maybe it was that first summer at home that helped me over it. I think sometimes the homesickness is about missing your former life as much as your family. Then when you get home again and see that your friends and life have all changed anyway, then you might as well keep moving forward with your own..

I think you are right about the summer. School might not be great, but once they get home and see how everyone and everything has changed, school might not be so bad after all.

I had a great relationship with my parents, but I hated coming home that first summer. I was used to walking out the door without telling anyone where I was going or what time I would be back. It was tense. I've already talked to DD about this and we both swore we would work hard on not irritating each other! She has a full time summer job that pays exceptionally well so she really wants/needs to come home.

Well, Big Guy got his Calc Exam back. 96%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's one happy dude. Hoping he sees the correlation of study time to grade and keeps on studying!
He has no chance of an A in the class, but hopefully the B is within reach now!

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, Big Guy got his Calc Exam back. 96%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's one happy dude. Hoping he sees the correlation of study time to grade and keeps on studying!
He has no chance of an A in the class, but hopefully the B is within reach now!

That is awesome!! Way to go, Big Guy!!!

 

[marcyinPA]

DS took a math test today. 8 questions, and he ran out of time and couldn't finish the last question. He knows he failed the test. The prof only gives 3 grades- 3 tests. And they are all 8-10 questions long.

I got a text from him after and he was beside himself. There is no way he will pass this class.

He met with his adviser (planned meeting- course selection for next semester) and told the adviser about the math class. Adviser advised him to withdraw from the class. Now. He suggested that he take an approved class at our local community college this summer. He just needs to be sure it will transfer and it meets his requirement. He is still considered full time with 12 credits, thank goodness.

He assured me that the other classes are going "OK" and he will make it all work by semesters' end. Math was the biggest thorn in his side. And you know what, he actually is pretty good at math, and liked it in HS. But THIS math, more like logic and not one computation problem at all. He HATED it. And could not grasp it. Yet he got A's in pre-Calc and Calc in HS?

He also talked to the adviser about changing his major, and the adviser suggested that he talk to the head of the communications department. So, he needs to make that appointment soon.

I am proud of him for making all of these appointments and forging on. Admittedly, he is not the most mature 18 year old boy but he is learning to be independent. (actually, maybe mature is the wrong word. He is mature in many things. But he is not good at stepping outside of his comfort zone and he is not an "outside of the box" thinker).

I go pick him up tomorrow- he is coming home for the big rival football game in town. Can't miss that. I think maybe afterwards, DH and I will take him somewhere decent for dinner and just talk stuff out. DS14 will be going to a party after the game, so it will be good one-on-one time with the older one.

 

[marcyinPA]

I almost forgot to share that 2 Saturday nights ago, the kid across the hall from my DS came into the dorm stinking drunk and threw up all over the floor in front of his dorm room door. The security people on call that night had to call the police- it is the protocol to do so when someone is visibly intoxicated. So the police came, and the kid resisted arrest. He was taken to the hospital, but then spent the day/night in jail. He lost his housing after that stunt. Where was DS? Slept through the entire thing. 3 am.

Kids mother comes in to clean out his room and take his stuff home. They find a bottle of hard alcohol and pot brownies. Mother blames the roommate. Roommate gets kicked out of housing too.

Empty room across from DS.

This is the simplified version of the story. But I am glad they are on top of things at this school. DH took DS back to school this past weekend, and they are now checking every single bag and suitcase that comes in. New policy I guess.

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

DS took a math test today. 8 questions, and he ran out of time and couldn't finish the last question. He knows he failed the test. The prof only gives 3 grades- 3 tests. And they are all 8-10 questions long.

I got a text from him after and he was beside himself. There is no way he will pass this class.

He met with his adviser (planned meeting- course selection for next semester) and told the adviser about the math class. Adviser advised him to withdraw from the class. Now. He suggested that he take an approved class at our local community college this summer. He just needs to be sure it will transfer and it meets his requirement. He is still considered full time with 12 credits, thank goodness.

He assured me that the other classes are going "OK" and he will make it all work by semesters' end. Math was the biggest thorn in his side. And you know what, he actually is pretty good at math, and liked it in HS. But THIS math, more like logic and not one computation problem at all. He HATED it. And could not grasp it. Yet he got A's in pre-Calc and Calc in HS?

He also talked to the adviser about changing his major, and the adviser suggested that he talk to the head of the communications department. So, he needs to make that appointment soon.

I am proud of him for making all of these appointments and forging on. Admittedly, he is not the most mature 18 year old boy but he is learning to be independent. (actually, maybe mature is the wrong word. He is mature in many things. But he is not good at stepping outside of his comfort zone and he is not an "outside of the box" thinker).

I go pick him up tomorrow- he is coming home for the big rival football game in town. Can't miss that. I think maybe afterwards, DH and I will take him somewhere decent for dinner and just talk stuff out. DS14 will be going to a party after the game, so it will be good one-on-one time with the older one.

It will continue to get better. You just watch how fast your Baby is going to grow! I'm impressed and I don't even know him. I know mine sounds like you described but I'm amazed at how he is becoming his own responsible person.

I almost forgot to share that 2 Saturday nights ago, the kid across the hall from my DS came into the dorm stinking drunk and threw up all over the floor in front of his dorm room door. The security people on call that night had to call the police- it is the protocol to do so when someone is visibly intoxicated. So the police came, and the kid resisted arrest. He was taken to the hospital, but then spent the day/night in jail. He lost his housing after that stunt. Where was DS? Slept through the entire thing. 3 am.

Kids mother comes in to clean out his room and take his stuff home. They find a bottle of hard alcohol and pot brownies. Mother blames the roommate. Roommate gets kicked out of housing too.

Empty room across from DS.

This is the simplified version of the story. But I am glad they are on top of things at this school. DH took DS back to school this past weekend, and they are now checking every single bag and suitcase that comes in. New policy I guess.

WOW! Glad the school took action. The liability of the whole thing. When I was young I didn't know about Alcohol poisoning. Anyway, I know my son's college made them take Alcohol awareness online classes before they would let them register for classes.

For the sake of the roommate, I hope he didn't get kicked out for false accusations. I feel bad for that mother. She has a long road ahead of her if this is the direction her son is going to continue on.
On our FB page for parents at my son's college, people started blaming the parents as being bad parents for their students bad choices. I jumped in because I hate seeing parents that maybe are good parents getting judged for their child making stupid choices. Anyway.....

I like the bag checks. Good idea.

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

giggles! I texted my son a question. He texted an answer back.
I texted a second question that really wasn't any more personal than the first.
(They were about a Halloween costume I helped him with)

Silence!


Have a good night.

 

[Katy Belle]

DS took a math test today. 8 questions, and he ran out of time and couldn't finish the last question. He knows he failed the test. The prof only gives 3 grades- 3 tests. And they are all 8-10 questions long.

I go pick him up tomorrow- he is coming home for the big rival football game in town. Can't miss that. I think maybe afterwards, DH and I will take him somewhere decent for dinner and just talk stuff out. DS14 will be going to a party after the game, so it will be good one-on-one time with the older one.

DS is in Calc, and the testing situation is similar to your DSs. He has had 2 Exams so far. I'm not sure if its 3 tests plus a Final, or 3 tests counting the Final. Both of his Exams so far, had 6 questions. He had a Quiz that had 2 questions! He got a 50% on that one. Craziness!

I'm glad your DS is coming home and you will have some alone time to discuss things! His adviser sounds like he's approachable and helpful! That is a blessing! Hang in there!

 

[PlutoPony]

giggles! I texted my son a question. He texted an answer back.
I texted a second question that really wasn't any more personal than the first.
(They were about a Halloween costume I helped him with)

Silence!


Have a good night.

Thank you for posting this. So nice to know I'm not the only one ! Sometimes I get the 2nd question answered but the 3rd is almost always ignored.....

Count my son as another being challenged by Calculus. When a vast majority of the students in all sections do not pass the first test (common test for all profs teaching it) you know it's tough.

 

[mom2rtk]

DS took a math test today. 8 questions, and he ran out of time and couldn't finish the last question. He knows he failed the test. The prof only gives 3 grades- 3 tests. And they are all 8-10 questions long.

I got a text from him after and he was beside himself. There is no way he will pass this class.

He met with his adviser (planned meeting- course selection for next semester) and told the adviser about the math class. Adviser advised him to withdraw from the class. Now. He suggested that he take an approved class at our local community college this summer. He just needs to be sure it will transfer and it meets his requirement. He is still considered full time with 12 credits, thank goodness.

He assured me that the other classes are going "OK" and he will make it all work by semesters' end. Math was the biggest thorn in his side. And you know what, he actually is pretty good at math, and liked it in HS. But THIS math, more like logic and not one computation problem at all. He HATED it. And could not grasp it. Yet he got A's in pre-Calc and Calc in HS?

He also talked to the adviser about changing his major, and the adviser suggested that he talk to the head of the communications department. So, he needs to make that appointment soon.

I am proud of him for making all of these appointments and forging on. Admittedly, he is not the most mature 18 year old boy but he is learning to be independent. (actually, maybe mature is the wrong word. He is mature in many things. But he is not good at stepping outside of his comfort zone and he is not an "outside of the box" thinker).

I go pick him up tomorrow- he is coming home for the big rival football game in town. Can't miss that. I think maybe afterwards, DH and I will take him somewhere decent for dinner and just talk stuff out. DS14 will be going to a party after the game, so it will be good one-on-one time with the older one.

I'm so impressed that he made those calls on his own. Hang in there. I bet he finds his way. It is SO hard for the introverted kids. I think the one we have who just went away to school is actually a bit on the introverted side. We just never really noticed it before because his older brother is so much MORE introverted. For the kids who never met a stranger, and who sign up to do it all, the transition can be fairly easy. For the ones who hold back and don't jump in with both feet, it can just be so hard.

I almost forgot to share that 2 Saturday nights ago, the kid across the hall from my DS came into the dorm stinking drunk and threw up all over the floor in front of his dorm room door. The security people on call that night had to call the police- it is the protocol to do so when someone is visibly intoxicated. So the police came, and the kid resisted arrest. He was taken to the hospital, but then spent the day/night in jail. He lost his housing after that stunt. Where was DS? Slept through the entire thing. 3 am.

Kids mother comes in to clean out his room and take his stuff home. They find a bottle of hard alcohol and pot brownies. Mother blames the roommate. Roommate gets kicked out of housing too.

Empty room across from DS.

This is the simplified version of the story. But I am glad they are on top of things at this school. DH took DS back to school this past weekend, and they are now checking every single bag and suitcase that comes in. New policy I guess.

Wow! I've never heard of a school searching bags like that. But good for them!

 

[marcyinPA]

Thank you for posting this. So nice to know I'm not the only one ! Sometimes I get the 2nd question answered but the 3rd is almost always ignored.....

Count my son as another being challenged by Calculus. When a vast majority of the students in all sections do not pass the first test (common test for all profs teaching it) you know it's tough.

giggles! I texted my son a question. He texted an answer back.
I texted a second question that really wasn't any more personal than the first.
(They were about a Halloween costume I helped him with)

Silence!


Have a good night.

The worst for me is when you text them, and you see the "read receipt" that they read it- and they NEVER RESPOND!!! I usually text again after a while "Helllllloooooo?"

 

[PlutoPony]

The worst for me is when you text them, and you see the "read receipt" that they read it- and they NEVER RESPOND!!! I usually text again after a while "Helllllloooooo?"

You are not alone!!

Have been looking for a deal on a good winter coat for him, so sent e-mail with links to a some coats. Asked that he get back to me that day because I had a 20% code that was expiring. Heard nothing, not even that he didn't like them. Finally texted did he see my e-mail.
Answer: Yes but didn't read it.
Texted back to please read and respond sometime today.
He did get back to me late (his preferred time of sending us email is around midnite). Guess in the future I will put a please respond by date in the subject line....

Think my mistake was putting "winter coat and boots" in the subject field lol

 

[mom2rtk]

You are not alone!!

Have been looking for a deal on a good winter coat for him, so sent e-mail with links to a some coats. Asked that he get back to me that day because I had a 20% code that was expiring. Heard nothing, not even that he didn't like them. Finally texted did he see my e-mail.
Answer: Yes but didn't read it.
Texted back to please read and respond sometime today.
He did get back to me late (his preferred time of sending us email is around midnite). Guess in the future I will put a please respond by date in the subject line....

Think my mistake was putting "winter coat and boots" in the subject field lol

Too funny. Mine has always been too cool for a winter coat. I'm just over arguing with him about it. If he wants to wear shorts in January or no coat in a snowstorm, then whatever. I did mention just recently though that he might want to rethink that this year with all the walking to and from class. I'm sort of waiting for him to figure out he needs one and ask. I might be expecting too much...... but thought I'd give that approach a try.

 

[mom2travel]

You are not alone!! Have been looking for a deal on a good winter coat for him, so sent e-mail with links to a some coats. Asked that he get back to me that day because I had a 20% code that was expiring. nothing, not even that he didn't like them. Finally texted did he see my e-mail. Answer: Yes but didn't read it. Texted back to please read and respond sometime today. He did get back to me late (his preferred time of sending us email is around midnite). Guess in the future I will put a please respond by date in the subject line.... Think my mistake was putting "winter coat and boots" in the subject field lol

LOL! Totally sounds like my son. Sometimes I can only shake my head and wonder where I missed teaching common sense : Why on earth would I spend the time emailing or texting a very specific question to you if I didn't want you to read it and reply??? It's not like I'm filling his inbox with jokes & junk! Oh wait, maybe he thinks I have no life and do it for fun!

Too funny. Mine has always been too cool for a winter coat. I'm just over arguing with him about it. If he wants to wear shorts in January or no coat in a snowstorm, then whatever. I did mention just recently though that he might want to rethink that this year with all the walking to and from class. I'm sort of waiting for him to figure out he needs one and ask. I might be expecting too much...... but thought I'd give that approach a try.

Oh, he'll figure it out... And come to you with this great idea that he should get a winter coat I don't know why you never thought of that mom!!

 

[PlutoPony]

Too funny. Mine has always been too cool for a winter coat. I'm just over arguing with him about it.

Mine too, but he's in a much colder/snowier climate now and has been told by others that he WILL want a warm coat that blocks the wind. Couple weeks ago they had a blast of cold air complete with snow flurries, and he's become a believer in coats. Actually I"m surprised that the first cold spell convinced him, thought it would take longer...

Boots seem to be another story though. Keeps telling me that they plow well around there. Pretty much got through so far wearing top-siders (no socks), shorts and long sleeved shirts. Guess he thinks adding socks to the mix will get him through winter?

 

[mom2rtk]

Oh, he'll figure it out... And come to you with this great idea that he should get a winter coat I don't know why you never thought of that mom!!

Yep. That's the plan. Just waiting for the idea fairy to strike him.

Mine too, but he's in a much colder/snowier climate now and has been told by others that he WILL want a warm coat that blocks the wind. Couple weeks ago they had a blast of cold air complete with snow flurries, and he's become a believer in coats. Actually I"m surprised that the first cold spell convinced him, thought it would take longer...

Boots seem to be another story though. Keeps telling me that they plow well around there. Pretty much got through so far wearing top-siders (no socks), shorts and long sleeved shirts. Guess he thinks adding socks to the mix will get him through winter?

My DS is in a fairly similar climate to here at home. So not too much difference in that regard. What is vastly different is the amount of time he will be out in the elements. I doubt I'll get him in boots, but I would settle for a coat.

Since it's been so long since I've bought one of the boys a coat I just curious what sort of coats your sons are all wearing?

 

[LisaR]

With all the talk about snow, winter coats, and boots, would it be really mean of me to mention the text I got from DD asking for more beach towels for around the pool? Yep, college in FL is really tough.

 

[mom2rtk]

With all the talk about snow, winter coats, and boots, would it be really mean of me to mention the text I got from DD asking for more beach towels for around the pool? Yep, college in FL is really tough.

LOL, must be rough. I still look back and wonder what the heck I was thinking choosing a school on the shore of Lake Michigan. I suffered through one of the coldest winters on record in Chicago, then came home each summer just when the weather was finally nice. Oy.

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

You are not alone!!

Have been looking for a deal on a good winter coat for him, so sent e-mail with links to a some coats. Asked that he get back to me that day because I had a 20% code that was expiring. Heard nothing, not even that he didn't like them. Finally texted did he see my e-mail.
Answer: Yes but didn't read it.
Texted back to please read and respond sometime today.
He did get back to me late (his preferred time of sending us email is around midnite). Guess in the future I will put a please respond by date in the subject line....

Think my mistake was putting "winter coat and boots" in the subject field lol

not sure where your son goes to school but here is what happens here in Massachusetts. They wear hoodies all winter long. If need be they will put a windbreaker kind of coat over the hoodie or a fleece. Those really nice super warm winter coats..... nope. Too bulkie.

So just a heads up. My son got a really nice one Freshman year in high school and never wore it because he had to wear a suitcoat to school and inbetween classes he had no place to put it and it was too puffy for his locker.
So since we bought it big it still fits, but he only wears it to shovel. So we leave it here since he doesn't shovel at school. sigh

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

With all the talk about snow, winter coats, and boots, would it be really mean of me to mention the text I got from DD asking for more beach towels for around the pool? Yep, college in FL is really tough.

LOL I was just packing up and putting together all my beach towels. Even put some in a bag to donate cause I had too many. LOL