Ok, I'm finally coming up for air. I've been crazy busy and can finally catch back up. On the up side, being crazy busy helps to avoid dwelling on DS not being here, but it's still always there. Thankfully we're going to see him again this weekend. I had wanted to just drive down and see him for the weekend, but he really wanted to come home. So my husband will drive down and get him Friday after class, and I'll drive him back in the wee hours Monday morning. Which won't seem all that wee after the time change this weekend anyway.
I've finally crossed a major hurdle and feel like I am on the other side of the hill!!
Went and visited DD on Thursday. Great visit! She looked great, the visit was wonderful, and I left without tearing up or crying on the drive home!!!!
Seriously, that is major for me!
On Saturday, DH and I took DD and three friends to lunch because they were only an hour from our home. Wonderful visit. So nice meeting her friends. And guess what? I once again left without any tears in my eyes!!!!
Honestly, that is a huge weight that I feel was lifted. In the past, I almost felt depressed once we/she left. I didn't feel that at all this time. Life is finally moving forward and it only took me ten weeks!
Unfortunately, DD looked like crap yesterday. She didn't eat much, said she had a headache, and I could just tell she was getting sick. When she got back to the dorms, she slept for 15 hours!
She got up this morning with a fever, swollen glands, headache, and cough. She went to a walk-in clinic and they gave her an antibiotic. I kind of wish they would have run some blood work. Anyway, she just picked up her RX, grabbed some OJ ad Kleenex and plans on spending the day in bed. So while I am past the crying when we leave, I am not past the worrying! Hopefully she will be feeling much better in a day or two.
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!
I really enjoyed your post Lisa. I'm aspiring to hit this point myself but don't know if we're there yet. I think my DS is still pretty homesick, and as long as he doesn't feel settled, I imagine I'll have a hard time every time I leave him. It really doesn't help that his roommate is apparently feeling very homesick as well and seems to be going home every weekend now. So the roomie I thought was a dream is not as appealing any more. Not because he's doing anything wrong, but just because my DS is ending up alone all weekend now when he really needs companionship most.
I'm sorry your DD had the reaction to the penicillin. I'm glad she got it figured out. Is she finally better on both counts? It sure sounds like she has some great friends. I bet that does so much to ease your mind.
just briefly skimming your posts, it seems we all have had a rough couple of days.
I planned on flying DS home for his fall break. I have freq flier miles I used. But DS slept through his alarm and missed the first bus going to the airport and the second bus never showed
. And of course I can get no answers from the bus co since their office is closed on t he weekends.
. When I was talking to my son he sounded so sad. So yes I dropped everything I was doing and drove the 4 1/2 hrs to go get him. I now the boy is happy I am happy. Except his is pooped from all the driving and is now a sleep. Got to love our babies.
Awww.... how disappointed he must have been to think he had missed his chance to get home. YEAH you for going to get him!
AN apology to DS....
If you are ever reading this thread, or someone points it out to you, I want to apologize to you because you are an awesome amazing kid! We didn't text or talk much, and I now know you weren't "shutting me out" it was just that timing didn't work, and we couldn't connect. I had an amazing time catching up with you this past weekend, and thank you for sharing so much info with me. It meant the world to me and I am deeply sorry for my crazy mom mood swing this past week.
So yes, do you ever wish you could take back something???? I sure wish I could take back this past week and my crazy upset posts. We had an AMAZING time this past weekend!!!!!!!! We picked him up on Friday and the conversations started. Lots of info coming our way, lots of sharing, and great camaraderie. Friday night after DH and DD went to bed, DS and I went out on the deck and for
1 1/2 hours talked in the moonlight about all sorts of things from college life. I will cherish that time
forever!!! We talked about all sorts of things I would never have dreamed of talking about with my parents! Alcohol at parties, etc. He thanked me for being so "chill" about it and said that he knows many friends that can't talk to their parents about these kinds of things. Oh my, my heart melted and I knew right then and there I've done right by him and me.
We also talked about this being a learning experience for me and giving him space. He told me that calling him on his birthday was fair game!
I also talked about how when I ask him questions it isn't because I am "prying" but just wanting to talk. and that I know I have to walk that fine line of respecting that he is an adult and he can make his own decisions and balancing that with still parenting him. I think we reached an understanding and in that moment all was very right with my life. I couldn't have been happier!
I truly had an amazing time with him.
However dropping him off today was not easy. I didn't tear up at dropping him off, so I am making progress. THe car ride home did seem a lot quieter and "a little empty".
So, I am making progress, and I am so happy right now!
What an amazing post. I'm so happy for you!
What an incredible visit you had.
So many ups and downs for all of us! Its kinda hard to take, isn't it?
Hugs to all! I really do think at some point it will level out and will feel more normal.
Well, I continue to hear from DS18 via text message. He, or I, check in every day. I'm thrilled with that. I get very little info, but at least I know he's alive!
He and a HS friend were planning a trip to St. Louis to watch their old band in a contest. I did not want him to do it...would cost over $200, a long drive, three days away from studying, etc. DH was the opposite..."We used to do road trips, I don't see it being an issue." Ok...so I really do think that is why God gave kids a Momma and a Daddy, so we can balance each other out. DS had asked my opinion, and I told him I'd talk to his Dad about it. So I told him it was fine. Ugh, that was hard to do! Anyway...when he was home the last time he asked me to help him find a hotel room. He found some listed for $30 a night and was convinced they would be fine. There were reviews about how scary they were. That still didn't phase him much. Luckily, they wouldn't rent them to people under age 21. Whew. Hilton was the only one he could find that would accept 18. He and his friend planned it all out and finally decided it was too expensive. It was hard sitting back and watching, but he really learned a lot just going through the exercise! Baby steps to adulthood.
Our other struggle...grades and studying! DS has never been super motivated. He has always put in minimal time studying, and easily made As and the occasional B. He didn't really care that he got some Bs. He rarely, rarely did homework at home. So now he has Calc I , with a teacher he can't understand due to a lisp and being, recently, from another country. He told us he was studying a lot, but "a lot" to him was three hours a week. DH had a conversation and tried to impress on him that 12 hours a week would be more appropriate for now, considering he made a D on the first exam. Not sure he gets it. Trying to stay out of it, but its hard. Will encourage him to drop it, if grade is still low in two weeks. He has another exam this week, he thinks he will do better, fingers crossed! I want to be the parent that can never enquire about grades, but not sure its in me. He is just not used to studying! He needs a certain GPA to keep his scholarship, so I hope he starts taking it seriously!
Other than that, he seems happy and settled in, which I am thrilled about! He won't come home until Thanksgiving. That will be 8 weeks since he came home the last time. That feels like TOO long!
Hugs to all!
I can sure feel your angst in telling your DS to just go for it with the road trip. So glad it all worked out!
Even if it took some intervention from the hotel gods!
I'm glad he thinks his calc exam went well. Fingers crossed that translates into a good grade for him! My DS had exams last week in Calc, Chem and History. This week it's Econ. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. They don't really call them mid-terms at his school, but I sort of think that's what it all was.
8 weeks is a really long time to go between visits. Hugs to you in getting through it.
I know when I went away to school I started in late September and didn't get to see anyone from home until I flew home at Thanksgiving. That seemed like forever.
How long does everyone's kids get for Thanksgiving break? I'm SO thankful my DS gets that entire week. I suppose that's because he didn't get a fall break. Then he only has 2 weeks of classes (including Finals week) after he gets back. So it's honestly starting to feel like we're on the down side of first semester. Whew.
Finally! DD is now allergic to penicillin. They switched her antibiotic and gave her Benadryl. DD said everyone at the school clinic was so nice. She said the doctor really took her time and made her feel less anxious! The place she went off campus yesterday was horrible. She said the doctor was in the room for about 4 seconds. Glad she got a good check up today. The doctor thinks she has strep. She said it is kind of late in the game to swab her because she is actually getting better symptom wise and the treatment would be the same anyway. She skipped her classes today and plans on staying in bed the rest of the day.
Now to stay healthy myself. When we went to lunch on Thursday, she had a headache which I didn't think anything of. She was also reaching across the table and eating my food! If she gets me sick again, I'm going to smack her.......when she is feeling better, of course!
Thanks for letting me "talk" it out on this thread.
So did you manage to stay healthy? I'm so relieved (knock wood) my DS hasn't gotten sick again. He was sick for several weeks before. I finally have him taking a couple allergy meds every day that seem to be doing the trick.
I'm in a bit of a slump. I think things aren't going so well for DS and his GF right now. I don't want to elaborate too much, but he is down and that makes me sad.
I also don't know much about the grades, but I am thinking they aren't great. And I think the reason is what I wrote in the last sentence. I am trying not to nag, and I am trying not to ask at all. But I just have that sinking feeling....
Really, what else is there to say?
I suppose you knew the odds of them staying together were pretty slim. But I'm sure they didn't know it and thought they could see it through.
This too shall pass. Hopefully the grades won't suffer too much and he'll be stronger for it all. Sigh.
Hang in there. To both your son and you.
Have you guys sent any care packages yet?
We've dropped stuff off, or gave him stuff when we saw him for the variety of weekends, but up until today haven't sent him anything yet.
He was home over the weekend and left behind were... a towel, a pillow case and a polo shirt.
Sent all of those in a care package with a funny card and some candy. Kind of fun sending it!
I've lost track of how many packages I've sent!
It started a few days after he got to school. He wouldn't "buy in" to the whole process of packing for school and left a few things at home that it turned out he needed. No biggie though, I welcome the chance to help out and never miss a chance to send more junk food. His dorm isn't close to anything really, and he doesn't have a car. So it's a lot easier to mail him things in a pinch than have him wait for the weekend and walk the mile or more it takes to get somewhere. I can't believe they have a 7 story building of captive consumers right there and NO place to buy toiletries or a few groceries within walking distance.
Just today I send off some Halloween candy and a card. I so wanted to send some Halloween decorations, but I knew he wouldn't really appreciate it, so passed in favor of edibles. We'll see him the day after Halloween, but couldn't have him go without some Halloween candy on Thursday.
The post office has gone above and beyond lately though. My last 2 packages got there in just a day, which is really nice.
I quoted this in my last post and forgot to talk about it! At the beginning of DS18s Senior Year of HS, I started posting "quotes" on his mirror. He had his own bathroom in his room, so a few times a week, I would write quotes on sticky notes and stick them to his mirror! Most of them came from Pinterest. Some were funny, some inspirational, some pertaining to what was happening in his life at the moment. He got Hamlet quotes the week he was performing in that play. He LOVED it. By Christmas, his mirror was hard to see! So one day I took them all down. He was so sad! I told him to just wait. Christmas morning he opened a book with all his quotes inside. I just stuck them into a photo album. He loved it. Then I started filling up the mirror again. He was sad when he came home from college and there weren't new ones! But I don't want it to go on forever and ever! I was thinking of sticking a few in his care package that I'm working on at the moment! Anyway, your sons may like quotes and cards more than you think they will!
I just wanted to say I think that is very cool!
when we went to a Freshman parents meeting last year, they told us it was really important to mail packages to our son/daughter. So I gave out my son's address to family members to send him a card and I did the same since I was seeing him most weekends being I go out that way for various things and I had sent him a trunk full of stuff when we brought him there.
Anyway, one day my sister in law asked "hey did Joe get my package?".
I told her I had not heard anything from him but would find out.
So I asked him if he had been checking his mail and he said not after the first week, so since his roommate worked in the mail room he asked him "Do I have a package in the mail room?" and the kid said "I'm not sure, maybe."
So my son went the next day during mail room hours and sure enough the package had been sitting there for 2 weeks. So at that point I told family don't bother to send packages it's too expensive but feel free to send cards.
Yup, he wasn't checking mail. Wait no for Halloween he did and I had sent him a kiddie card with some money in it for him to buy a candy bar.
Then after he was home for Christmas, I sent him a card telling him I missed him and was happy to have him home for the month and wished him well. And then Valentines day another card to buy himself some chocolate of his choice. I never brought these up and then in May when he came home for the summer a big envelope came from the college. You got it! The cards I sent and other people sent were all in his mail box.
So that's my story on my kid getting mail. I don't even have his address for this semester. I probably should ask for it so I can send him a postcard from Disney. Of course he'll be home for Thanksgiving and won't see it until he goes back to finish off the semester. LOL
His birthday is during the Christmas break so I don't even need to worry about a birthday package.
I love the quotes/notes though. In high school I had made him a sandwich for his lunch and put a note between the meat so he cracked up when he took a bite and found it. Probably not the most germ free but it was "random" as he called it. Another time we had a Love door going for February. We were trying to get my DS21 with Autism to identify feelings and positive things and know he was loved, so we all took turns complimenting each other. That was fun but I did most of the writing. DS19 did enjoy it though as he wrote some compliments to us also. Hmmm maybe we will have to do something during the month long Christmas break.
Ok rambling. Should never have had that second cup of coffee.
LOL, I had the same problem with my DS. My mom sent him a Halloween card and while it would have been nice to surprise him, I had to give him a heads up or I knew it would just sit in the mail room. So sure enough, I asked him and he said he never checks his mail unless he knows something is coming. I know we didn't have computers and smart phones back in my day, but I remember checking that mail box several times a day!
DD just sent a picture of an empty mailbox...
That's awesome! Major points for style!
I'd send her back a picture of your empty wallet!
And
More points for style!
This weekend is Family weekend at my sons college. Well there has been a definition change in Family weekend this year. sigh.
We will not be going to have lunch at the college with my son because my grandmother died and the funeral is at noon tomorrow.
My family has not been close since my mother died 16 years ago, so with the scattering of family, we really haven't seen anyone. My sons were young when they last saw my grandmother. But DS said he wanted to come home for the funeral. He decided to come home tonight so he could get caught up on Laundry too. Of course. So I guess I'm kind of getting a bonus that instead of spending just a few hours with him tomorrow and having to share him with the groups of people and friends, I'm getting him to myself tonight and then some extra time tomorrow.
This may sound silly but today I was talking to a friend about potentially hiring my son during the summer at the local grocery market. I was saying my son was 19 and then realized when he gets home this summer he will be 20. That feels weird.
Well before I go, I wanted to say that I've been thinking/praying for your children that are sick or having gf/bf challenges. Weird I've been reading along here and this week when I talked to my brother he told me he was working with a guy I dated in college. The guy was almost apologizing to my brother because he broke up with me because he couldn't handle a long distance relationship. Weird cause I barely remember the break up. But apparently he does and feels bad. Oh well...as I told my brother, I've been married 25 years, I can't be too scared.
Taking my extra vitamin C. I hope the germs don't find me. I've got 3 weeks to dodge them so I can leave for my vacation.....I guess 4 cause I don't want to catch them down in FL either.
Sweet dreams everyone. I hope Sunday/Monday night I get to read a lot of happy posts about great news with their kiddos.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your family's loss.
Of course, she was the one who said she would only talk face to face. Whatever.
He texted me yesterday that he got full credit- 8 points. I don't know if it helps his grade that much, but hopefully. He went to try to get a math tutor yesterday but nobody was in the office. I told him not to let it go. He has a tendency to do that. 
