Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[mom2travel]

How is your son feeling? I hope he is getting better or at least taking care of himself.

My DD has done that with a few phone calls. She talks and talks, which I love, but it has actually gotten to the point where I am kind of running out of things to say, but she isn't hanging up! It happened more so in the beginning so I attribute it to homesickness and getting adjusted. She doesn't call as often now and when she does, she still talks a lot (that is just her personality) but it has more of a natural ending now.

Her big thing since she went away has been to send me a picture of the food she is eating. Seriously, we were never food porn type people, but I get a food picture almost every day now! After another food picture yesterday, I sent her a text that went something like this, "This is an automated text message. Your mother would like you to know that you have 24 hours to send a picture of yourself showing not only proof of life, but proof of fun. Said picture may include more pictures of food, but your face must be included. If you don't comply, there will be repercussions in the form of fewer care packages. Love, the automated text message service." .....Or something corny like that. Anyway, she sent me four pictures of herself and a couple kids she was hanging out with making stupid faces for the camera. They were hilarious and made my night!

Love it!!

 

[luvavacation]

Good morning! I hope all the kids that were feeling a bit ill are doing better today. I know it has been unbearably hot where my daughter is for college, but one more day and it should be a little cooler and more comfortable. Being sick and overheated is never a good thing.

We are now almost 4 weeks out from taking my DD to EIU. The DD that was going to call every night, no matter what, even though I told her she didn't have to as she became busy, but no mom, she will never be too busy to call, has only missed a call on 2 nights, and at least I got a text on those nights. That is, until last night! No call, no text, nothing. What, did she become a son overnight?

I knew it would happen, even if she was adamant that this would never happen. Still, there is a part of me that is a little worried, hoping she is ok. But I know she is, and I am glad she is getting busy and not thinking of home as much, but gosh darn that was my last baby, and part of me is selfish and wants her to think of home!

Really though, I truly am ok with this mentally. I am glad she is busy. There is just a great irony in her adamant conviction that she would always call, and not quite 4 weeks in, it stopped. Yes, I shall tease her about this next time I see her. There will be no guilt involved, because I don't do guilt. My mom did guilt big time, and I refuse. I do get to tease though!

The worst part though of her not calling was my DH asking me, all evening, if I heard from DD, what is she doing, when will she call, how is she, is she getting good grades, do we need to go see her, etc, etc. Sure, it is sweet that he misses his daughter, but honestly, he is driving me nuts! I guess I just never realized how much interaction he had with our daughters until they were gone, because now he only focuses on me, and I am trying to stay busy, but he follows me around, hovering, even as I clean the toilet or try to read a magazine! I am glad wants to be around me, but I am apparently much more comfortable being alone than he is, and I don't mind being along at times. Now I understand where my eldest DD gets her need to always have someone near her - from my DH! And my youngest gets her ability to be happy on her own from me! How on earth am I going to make it through another 25 years or so with this man?

And finally, in reflection, the realization that our children were in first grade 12 years ago, and I wonder if they feel the solemness of this day as perhaps we "old people" do? I wonder if the Universities will be doing anything in remembrance this day, or will they just figure the kids were too young to remember, and it is just another day?

Ok, enough reflection, time to go clean the cat litter! The dogs are not doing a very good job of it, so I must finish the task.

 

[mom2rtk]

So glad everyone is getting some nice long phone calls!

How is your son feeling? I hope he is getting better or at least taking care of himself.



My DD has done that with a few phone calls. She talks and talks, which I love, but it has actually gotten to the point where I am kind of running out of things to say, but she isn't hanging up! It happened more so in the beginning so I attribute it to homesickness and getting adjusted. She doesn't call as often now and when she does, she still talks a lot (that is just her personality) but it has more of a natural ending now.

Her big thing since she went away has been to send me a picture of the food she is eating. Seriously, we were never food porn type people, but I get a food picture almost every day now! After another food picture yesterday, I sent her a text that went something like this, "This is an automated text message. Your mother would like you to know that you have 24 hours to send a picture of yourself showing not only proof of life, but proof of fun. Said picture may include more pictures of food, but your face must be included. If you don't comply, there will be repercussions in the form of fewer care packages. Love, the automated text message service." .....Or something corny like that. Anyway, she sent me four pictures of herself and a couple kids she was hanging out with making stupid faces for the camera. They were hilarious and made my night!

Lisa, that's adorable! I'm tucking that idea away for use when my DD goes to school one day. I'm sure you all know that would never fly with my son!

Thanks for asking about my son. He's still fighting this, but yesterday did drag himself across campus to Student Health. I was really surprised. I hadn't been harping on it, but had fully intended to start said harping today if he hadn't gone. They ruled out strep and said it appeared to be just a lot of congestion and drainage. I'm guessing it's just a result of his allergies reacting to new things around him.

They sent 2 baggies of OTC meds with him. That seemed odd to me, but I was so glad after hoofing it that far to get there feeling ill (in mid 90s heat) that he wasn't then faced with finding a way to get somewhere to get what he needed.

Thankfully my care package should arrive today too. I don't think he'll need the additional meds I sent now, but he'll have a pretty full selection on hand next time. But I'm sure he'll appreciate the snacks I sent (including a very heavy package of freezer pops which should fit very nicely into his tiny little freezer and feel good on a sore throat). I warned him the package weighed 14 pounds!

Of course, he also had to get dressed up to attend Honors Forum last night too. But he's hanging in there. I'm waiting to hear from him this morning to see if it's any better.

 

[mom2rtk]

No call, no text, nothing. What, did she become a son overnight?

LOL! Although I'm sure you're happy she is becoming immersed in her college life enough to miss a call.

And finally, in reflection, the realization that our children were in first grade 12 years ago, and I wonder if they feel the solemness of this day as perhaps we "old people" do? I wonder if the Universities will be doing anything in remembrance this day, or will they just figure the kids were too young to remember, and it is just another day?

Sigh. I was thinking the same thought this morning. It was such an ordinary morning of me getting the boys up and ready for school. My older son was in 3rd grade and going through a period of intense interest in national landmarks, including the Empire State Building. He had told us right before that day about the airplane that had crashed into the Empire State Building, maybe in the 20's? So when I saw the story unfold with a single plane crashing into the Trade Center, I actually woke him up and turned on the TV to watch, only for us to see the second plane hit. Sigh. I knew what that meant, but I still don't know if he did at that point. Such innocent little children they were.

Hugs to any of you who were touched personally on that day.

 

[HERSEY]

Good morning! I hope all the kids that were feeling a bit ill are doing better today. I know it has been unbearably hot where my daughter is for college, but one more day and it should be a little cooler and more comfortable. Being sick and overheated is never a good thing.

We are now almost 4 weeks out from taking my DD to EIU. The DD that was going to call every night, no matter what, even though I told her she didn't have to as she became busy, but no mom, she will never be too busy to call, has only missed a call on 2 nights, and at least I got a text on those nights. That is, until last night! No call, no text, nothing. What, did she become a son overnight?

I knew it would happen, even if she was adamant that this would never happen. Still, there is a part of me that is a little worried, hoping she is ok. But I know she is, and I am glad she is getting busy and not thinking of home as much, but gosh darn that was my last baby, and part of me is selfish and wants her to think of home!

Really though, I truly am ok with this mentally. I am glad she is busy. There is just a great irony in her adamant conviction that she would always call, and not quite 4 weeks in, it stopped. Yes, I shall tease her about this next time I see her. There will be no guilt involved, because I don't do guilt. My mom did guilt big time, and I refuse. I do get to tease though!

The worst part though of her not calling was my DH asking me, all evening, if I heard from DD, what is she doing, when will she call, how is she, is she getting good grades, do we need to go see her, etc, etc. Sure, it is sweet that he misses his daughter, but honestly, he is driving me nuts! I guess I just never realized how much interaction he had with our daughters until they were gone, because now he only focuses on me, and I am trying to stay busy, but he follows me around, hovering, even as I clean the toilet or try to read a magazine! I am glad wants to be around me, but I am apparently much more comfortable being alone than he is, and I don't mind being along at times. Now I understand where my eldest DD gets her need to always have someone near her - from my DH! And my youngest gets her ability to be happy on her own from me! How on earth am I going to make it through another 25 years or so with this man?

And finally, in reflection, the realization that our children were in first grade 12 years ago, and I wonder if they feel the solemness of this day as perhaps we "old people" do? I wonder if the Universities will be doing anything in remembrance this day, or will they just figure the kids were too young to remember, and it is just another day?

Ok, enough reflection, time to go clean the cat litter! The dogs are not doing a very good job of it, so I must finish the task.

I talked to one of my co workers yesterday. This is his son's first year in college also. It seems he is having a really hard time adjusting. Hopefully your husband settles a little.

So far my pantry has never been cleaner. Tonight I will tackle the hall closet, hopefully I don't find a small family living in there. I haven't seen the back of it in years.

mom2rtk I am glad you son finally got to see the doctor. I hope he starts to feel better. This heat is incredible. I worry about my son in this heat.

 

[HERSEY]

LOL! Although I'm sure you're happy she is becoming immersed in her college life enough to miss a call.




Sigh. I was thinking the same thought this morning. It was such an ordinary morning of me getting the boys up and ready for school. My older son was in 3rd grade and going through a period of intense interest in national landmarks, including the Empire State Building. He had told us right before that day about the airplane that had crashed into the Empire State Building, maybe in the 20's? So when I saw the story unfold with a single plane crashing into the Trade Center, I actually woke him up and turned on the TV to watch, only for us to see the second plane hit. Sigh. I knew what that meant, but I still don't know if he did at that point. Such innocent little children they were.

Hugs to any of you who were touched personally on that day.

It is strange that you all are talking about this. When I woke this morning I wondered if the College's will do anything also. My son was so afraid of planes for a while after 9/11. I also think it made him more resolved to fight the terrorists. So very sad so many lost, so many people lost their innocence . I heard someone on the radio this morning say they now know what it felt like to experience Pearl Harbor. I never thought of 9/11 that way before, the extreme helplessness.

 

[mom2rtk]

mom2rtk I am glad you son finally got to see the doctor. I hope he starts to feel better. This heat is incredible. I worry about my son in this heat.

Thanks Hersey! I hate to think of DS trekking across campus in this heat, not feeling well, but he's been a real trooper. I think their heatwave will break on Friday. Thank Heaven!

 

[LisaR]

I was just on Facebook and DD's college posted a picture of some students who "walked in remembrance of 9-11." They were in a single file line with one hand on the person in front of them. They walked barefoot in remembrance of those who walked for miles after the destruction so they could get back home. They were carrying small flags. Yep, I am totally crying now.

 

[HERSEY]

I was just on Facebook and DD's college posted a picture of some students who "walked in remembrance of 9-11." They were in a single file line with one hand on the person in front of them. They walked barefoot in remembrance of those who walked for miles after the destruction so they could get back home. They were carrying small flags. Yep, I am totally crying now.

I'm tearing up also.

 

[marcyinPA]

I was just on Facebook and DD's college posted a picture of some students who "walked in remembrance of 9-11." They were in a single file line with one hand on the person in front of them. They walked barefoot in remembrance of those who walked for miles after the destruction so they could get back home. They were carrying small flags. Yep, I am totally crying now.

Wow- that is super emotional. Totally puts things into perspective though.

 

[marcyinPA]

This might seem like a dumb question- but what are considered "good grades" in college? Especially freshman year?

My DS was an average student for 9th and 10th grade. Mostly B's, some C's- an A or two. Mid-10th grade, he was diagnosed with late stage Lyme disease and everything we dealt with for about 2 years with him started to make sense. Lack of concentration, extreme fatigue, etc. Once he was treated- probably within 6 weeks time- things started to turn around. 11th and 12th grade he got a 4.0 every quarter but maybe 2. So, mostly A's. However, he was only in one AP class. No honors or anything.

Moving forward to college- the ability is there, but having not been in any higher level classes, I'm not sure where he stands compared to other students. So far, he seems to be plugging away and has not expressed that anything is over is head. (Psychology is boring, which scares me because it's his major , but I think that has more to do with the interim professor than anything else. The "real" professor is coming off leave next week and is supposedly really good).

I'm just not sure what to expect grade-wise from him, knowing that college level classes are nothing that he has ever experienced and may not have been 100 percent prepared for from HS.

What do you think an average GPA is for a freshman? (I'm not talking about honors college students- just an average freshman?)

 

[HERSEY]

I am not sure if is for all schools. With my son's they need to maintain a 2.0

It should be somewhere on their website. I had to click around but I did find it quickly.

 

[marcyinPA]

I am not sure if is for all schools. With my son's they need to maintain a 2.0

It should be somewhere on their website. I had to click around but I did find it quickly.

I guess I should have been more clear. What do you personally think, or what have you heard just through people you know- is a decent GPA freshman year? Like my friends son had a 2.9 or something like that, and his advisor said that was actually pretty good for freshman year. To me, it seems low, especially if you are used to getting 4.0s in HS.

 

[HERSEY]

I told my son is needs to keep a GPA of 3.5 in order for his financial aid not to disappear and not have to pay me back

 

[HERSEY]

I guess I should have been more clear. What do you personally think, or what have you heard just through people you know- is a decent GPA freshman year? Like my friends son had a 2.9 or something like that, and his advisor said that was actually pretty good for freshman year. To me, it seems low, especially if you are used to getting 4.0s in HS.

I would think a 3.0 which is a B would be a realistic goal. Don't him beat himself up. College is not High School.

 

[mom2rtk]

I finally heard from my DS this afternoon. Yesterday is when he went to Student Health and started a bunch of OTC cold meds.

We've been talking a lot the last few days about how he feels and how to deal with the illness. Well, this morning...... nothing. I had asked him to call and let me know how he was feeling when he got up. Then..... nothing. I texted and called several times. And nothing. I really thought he had just slept through his alarm after taking so much cold medicine. So I kept trying. I felt like "THAT" mom. The one that pesters and hovers. And I didn't want to be that. But today is his last Chemistry class before his exam on Friday and I knew he'd be mad if he missed it. He finally picked up. Turns out he was on his way to class. He said he had indeed overslept a bit but did get up and out.

He says he's feeling a little better. He actually sounds worse, but he said the throat doesn't hurt as much. So maybe that's a sign he turned the corner finally.

I was just on Facebook and DD's college posted a picture of some students who "walked in remembrance of 9-11." They were in a single file line with one hand on the person in front of them. They walked barefoot in remembrance of those who walked for miles after the destruction so they could get back home. They were carrying small flags. Yep, I am totally crying now.

That sounds like meaningful way to mark the day. Was your daughter aware of it going on? Did she get to participate?

 

[mom2rtk]

I would think a 3.0 which is a B would be a realistic goal. Don't him beat himself up. College is not High School.

I agree. I think 3.0 would be a reasonable goal.

I used to really look at any B my kids made in High School if I felt they hadn't done much homework or hadn't worked hard. I didn't demand straight A's, but then I didn't give them grief if they never studied either. I left it in their hands, but they knew I'd ask some questions about grades below an A. Not that they were in trouble, just that we'd have to chat about it to see if they had given it their all.

In college I'm having a hard time convincing them I won't even question a B. But then both boys are already working far harder in college than they ever worked in high school.

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

I would think a 3.0 which is a B would be a realistic goal. Don't him beat himself up. College is not High School.

My son has to maintain a 3.0 to keep his merit scholarship.
So far he hasn't had problems but he is an above average student anyway.

I would say what my mother would say to me "have you done your best? Have you done what was asked of you by your teachers? do you see areas you can improve in? Only you can answer that."

It's time for him to want to work hard and have good grades. It sounds like he can achieve it and just needs motivation. I would not worry about it cause honestly you can't do anything about it. Nagging him to do his work is only going to push him away. Found out the hard way.

My son totally has potential to be a 4.0 student but only does so when it's a class he likes. His grades are truly a reflection of him doing what is told and nothing more. I'm just lucky he can do what he does without the extreme effort so that he likes college and is sticking it out.
He was offered a full tuition/fee scholarship at a state college. He turned it down because they offered to put him in the HONORS program and when we looked at how awesome the program was, he got overwhelmed as he knew he would have to put additional work into things. The 50 page paper Senior year didn't help. I couldn't convince him it would be on something he likes. He hates writing, period!

Oh well. It's his future and he has to pick the path to get him where he wants to be.

Especially first semester, let him settle in and then ask the questions, no matter what the grades are, so he can personally challenge himself.
I'm a firm believer that I did my academic part of showing him how to get through things, now it's time for me to just love him.
Believe me I will be crushed if his grades go below 3.0, but he knows what he has to do.

 

[Katy Belle]

I guess I should have been more clear. What do you personally think, or what have you heard just through people you know- is a decent GPA freshman year? Like my friends son had a 2.9 or something like that, and his advisor said that was actually pretty good for freshman year. To me, it seems low, especially if you are used to getting 4.0s in HS.

I would hope that they could keep it over 3.0.

I'm not sure that not taking AP classes will hurt your son. My son did take some AP classes, but then he's up a level in college. So he skipped English Comp I and went straight to English Comp II. So your son, in English Comp I, should be very prepared coming from Senior English in HS. Does that make any sense? I bet he will do well!

DH is an Accountant for a large oil company. He hires, both experienced people and new college graduates. He doesn't interview them at all if they have lower than a 3.5. So it IS important to get those grades as high as possible! Of course, there are many companies that would hire lower GPAs, but many that do care.

 

[Southernmiss]

Ds has to maintain a 3.25 to keep his scholarships.