Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[Southernmiss]

Ds is a sophomore. I drove him and his stuff to school on the 12th. Since then I have had 2 text replies of "yes ma'am" and a "thanks". That's it! I have seen pictures and a couple of posts on Facebook so I know he's ok having a good time and going to class.

He just liked a status our youngest son posted abt his first highschool football game tonight (he's in band). And that "like" brought tears to my eyes as older ds was also in band and "gets" where our freshman son is today in his excitement for the game.

Oldest ds should be coming home tonight because he has to work this weekend. Maybe I will get a couple of sentences from him. Lol

 

[LisaR]

DD is a big "texter." Honestly, I think I would be a bit put out if I didn't hear from her most days because she texts every single day. She is still texting all of her friends who are at their respective colleges so taking two seconds to send a quick message to me won't kill her. But like I said, she loves to text so it isn't a problem at all. I get at least a half dozen short texts from her each day saying things like, "Subway is soooooooooo much better than the cafeteria!" Just little blurbs that tell me she is alive and active. She has called me a few times and we've talked at length about all the things she has done. The kid likes to talk! But this is the norm for her. She has always been one to send a picture or a text about something she was doing. When DS leaves, I'm not sure I will ever hear from him again! He hates talking on the phone and he can go days without texting a single person. When he does text, it is two or three words at best.

 

[luvavacation]

Did the emotions of saying goodbye for college surprise any of you? I ask because my dearest friend of 35 years just took her eldest, a son, to college, and she is shocked that she cried! She travels alot for work, sometimes gone for 2 weeks at a time, is a very "type A" personality, and never has time for emotions (I am emotional, so we balance each other well!). She is driving home from moving in her first, and she is shocked at how hard it was.

Now I knew it would be hard for me, so tears were no surprise. Our little family unit has never really been separated, so not seeing each other every day is very different. Yet I knew all of this would happen, but for my friend, she is so surprised, for she never thought she would feel anything but pride that her son was off to college. Was anyone else surprised at the emotions that ran through you as you drove off?

Speaking of surprises, my daughter had her first experience with walking in on a roommate while roommate's paramour was there. Not only was it embarrassing for both girls, it was doubly so for the roommate, because she was in bed with another girl! Apparently, she is a lesbian that thought she could hide it, wasn't sure how her roommate would react, but now my daughter knows.

My daughter doesn't care about the lesbian issue, she will respect her roommate and won't tell anyone, but she doesn't like walking in on her roommate while she is in bed with someone else! Hopefully ground rules have been set now by the roommates so no one else is surprised in the future! We did have a good laugh though when my daughter said that she went with a girls only dorm to avoid this sort of thing! One week into college, many more to go, I guess college life is just filled with surprises, I wonder what other ones await!

I also had an epiphany last night. When we came home on Saturday after moving my eldest into her apartment 3.5 hours away, and youngest gone too, my husband mowed the lawn. He then parked the riding lawn mower in the garage, in my space, so it could "air out" (we have dogs, there are land mines from dogs, "air out" usually means he will wash the mower once it cools down).

6 days later, I still have a lawn mower in my garage spot. Then it hit me when I pulled up into the drive today - with both girls gone, their cars are also gone, and DH can't stand to see the empty driveway when he comes home from work! My husband, he is a man of few words but one that apparently feels the emptiness of his little girls being gone. I guess I will stop asking when I get my spot back until he is ready to move the mower on his own.

 

[Southernmiss]

Did the emotions of saying goodbye for college surprise any of you? I ask because my dearest friend of 35 years just took her eldest, a son, to college, and she is shocked that she cried! She travels alot for work, sometimes gone for 2 weeks at a time, is a very "type A" personality, and never has time for emotions (I am emotional, so we balance each other well!). She is driving home from moving in her first, and she is shocked at how hard it was.

Now I knew it would be hard for me, so tears were no surprise. Our little family unit has never really been separated, so not seeing each other every day is very different. Yet I knew all of this would happen, but for my friend, she is so surprised, for she never thought she would feel anything but pride that her son was off to college. Was anyone else surprised at the emotions that ran through you as you drove off?

Speaking of surprises, my daughter had her first experience with walking in on a roommate while roommate's paramour was there. Not only was it embarrassing for both girls, it was doubly so for the roommate, because she was in bed with another girl! Apparently, she is a lesbian that thought she could hide it, wasn't sure how her roommate would react, but now my daughter knows.

My daughter doesn't care about the lesbian issue, she will respect her roommate and won't tell anyone, but she doesn't like walking in on her roommate while she is in bed with someone else! Hopefully ground rules have been set now by the roommates so no one else is surprised in the future! We did have a good laugh though when my daughter said that she went with a girls only dorm to avoid this sort of thing! One week into college, many more to go, I guess college life is just filled with surprises, I wonder what other ones await!

I also had an epiphany last night. When we came home on Saturday after moving my eldest into her apartment 3.5 hours away, and youngest gone too, my husband mowed the lawn. He then parked the riding lawn mower in the garage, in my space, so it could "air out" (we have dogs, there are land mines from dogs, "air out" usually means he will wash the mower once it cools down).

6 days later, I still have a lawn mower in my garage spot. Then it hit me when I pulled up into the drive today - with both girls gone, their cars are also gone, and DH can't stand to see the empty driveway when he comes home from work! My husband, he is a man of few words but one that apparently feels the emptiness of his little girls being gone. I guess I will stop asking when I get my spot back until he is ready to move the mower on his own.

The emotions during senior year events surprised me more than the leaving the kid at college ones.

Prior to senior year, I hadn't cried in years, but when senior year events happened and the crying started, never in front of anyone btw, it hasn't really shut off and I can still cry easier than I had prior to dss senior year and that has surprised me.

 

[HERSEY]

What surprised me that I didn't cry leaving DS.

I cried like a baby at orientation and then when when I got home from moving him in the dorm. I also cried when I found some of his socks in the wash

 

[OhMari]

I thinkI posted this further back, but wait till the newness starts wearing off, you will get the walking to and from classroom calls. Sometimes I had 3calling me at the same time.

 

[kacaju]

Did the emotions of saying goodbye for college surprise any of you? I ask because my dearest friend of 35 years just took her eldest, a son, to college, and she is shocked that she cried! She travels alot for work, sometimes gone for 2 weeks at a time, is a very "type A" personality, and never has time for emotions (I am emotional, so we balance each other well!). She is driving home from moving in her first, and she is shocked at how hard it was.

Now I knew it would be hard for me, so tears were no surprise. Our little family unit has never really been separated, so not seeing each other every day is very different. Yet I knew all of this would happen, but for my friend, she is so surprised, for she never thought she would feel anything but pride that her son was off to college. Was anyone else surprised at the emotions that ran through you as you drove off?

Speaking of surprises, my daughter had her first experience with walking in on a roommate while roommate's paramour was there. Not only was it embarrassing for both girls, it was doubly so for the roommate, because she was in bed with another girl! Apparently, she is a lesbian that thought she could hide it, wasn't sure how her roommate would react, but now my daughter knows.

My daughter doesn't care about the lesbian issue, she will respect her roommate and won't tell anyone, but she doesn't like walking in on her roommate while she is in bed with someone else! Hopefully ground rules have been set now by the roommates so no one else is surprised in the future! We did have a good laugh though when my daughter said that she went with a girls only dorm to avoid this sort of thing! One week into college, many more to go, I guess college life is just filled with surprises, I wonder what other ones await!

I also had an epiphany last night. When we came home on Saturday after moving my eldest into her apartment 3.5 hours away, and youngest gone too, my husband mowed the lawn. He then parked the riding lawn mower in the garage, in my space, so it could "air out" (we have dogs, there are land mines from dogs, "air out" usually means he will wash the mower once it cools down).

6 days later, I still have a lawn mower in my garage spot. Then it hit me when I pulled up into the drive today - with both girls gone, their cars are also gone, and DH can't stand to see the empty driveway when he comes home from work! My husband, he is a man of few words but one that apparently feels the emptiness of his little girls being gone. I guess I will stop asking when I get my spot back until he is ready to move the mower on his own.

The lack of emotion compared to others here have surprised me. Last year we dropped off dd as a freshman and by the time we left (had to stay all day for a family day) I was so ready to leave and didn't cry at all. Don't get me wrong.. I love this kid to pieces but we never really saw her her senior year in HS.. she was always at dance...by the time she left for college I was so happy for her and never thought about it being sad. Yes it was weird not having her around at first...but we got used to it. She is home for the summer, but got a job at a Y camp...so she is never home once again. She works 8-5 and then I am normally out...plus she is now taking a few dance classes in the city at night.
She goes back labor day and I am so excited for her to be starting her 2nd year!!

As far as keeping in touch with her..I try very hard not to be texting her first. I am fb friends with her...I never post anything to her wall asking her how she is or anything like that...nor do I comment on her wall. I simply send her cute meme's that while at home I would have called her to the computer to see.

All I need is an *awww* comment from her and I know she is OK.. Also I take pictures of her pets and text them to her. Again.. I get a *awww* If she starts a conversation...then I will talk and ask her how things are going...but I try to not hover over her and ask how are you doing too much.

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, tomorrow is the day. We be packing the car shortly. I had a nice glass of wine and cooked a good "last supper" so hopefully we can pack without tears.

His girlfriend moved into her college today. He has been "pensive". I know he misses her like crazy. I don't know if they are going to be able to keep things going long distance. Anyone else's kid going through the same??

 

[OhMari]

Well, tomorrow is the day. We be packing the car shortly. I had a nice glass of wine and cooked a good "last supper" so hopefully we can pack without tears.

His girlfriend moved into her college today. He has been "pensive". I know he misses her like crazy. I don't know if they are going to be able to keep things going long distance. Anyone else's kid going through the same??

My niece and her boyfriend kept their long distance romance. They are married 3 years now and have a little girl. But I know many others that called it quits. I guess you can say it is a 50/50 chance.

 

[mom2rtk]

Well, tomorrow is the day. We be packing the car shortly. I had a nice glass of wine and cooked a good "last supper" so hopefully we can pack without tears.

His girlfriend moved into her college today. He has been "pensive". I know he misses her like crazy. I don't know if they are going to be able to keep things going long distance. Anyone else's kid going through the same??

Hang in there. I hope all goes smoothly. It will be a hard weekend, but I bet you'll be glad when it's behind you.

At least no girlfriend issues here to complicate things. My son's best friend graduated early, got married and became a daddy back in the spring. I'm not sure mine will even date now until retirement.

 

[krcit]

I dropped my dd yesterday. I didn't cry! I teared up but I was afraid that if I started to cry she would and I didn't want to do that to her. She seemed ok, she has a single room in a flat with 4 other girls and they all seemed really nice as did their parents, so it made it a bit easier to say goodbye. I cried a little in the car and last night but I'm so excited for her. She texted me this morning that she felt sick and this is a kid who never complains. I told her to call the clinic and get an appointment and she did. It's just a virus..sore throat and swollen glands. I think it's from stress I spoke to her a little while ago and she said she felt better and was playing a game with her suitemates.

 

[StacyMarie]

Move in day for DD is Monday! I'm already so sad. I'm gonna try to hold it together until we leave, lol! Wish me luck!

 

[HERSEY]

For all you moving your babies in, I wish you luck. Don't be afraid of the emotions Moving in is stressful. At my son's school they were so orgainized it was scary. A bunch of kids swarmed the car and unloaded everything on carts and brought it all to the room.

Well I officially have a week under my belt.

A friend shared this article with me. I warn you all it will make you cry but it also puts everything in to perspective http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.boston.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Farticles%2F2011%2F08%2F28%2Fi_was_the_sun_the_kids_my_planets%2F&h=OAQGeGuD4

 

[mom2rtk]

I dropped my dd yesterday. I didn't cry! I teared up but I was afraid that if I started to cry she would and I didn't want to do that to her. She seemed ok, she has a single room in a flat with 4 other girls and they all seemed really nice as did their parents, so it made it a bit easier to say goodbye. I cried a little in the car and last night but I'm so excited for her. She texted me this morning that she felt sick and this is a kid who never complains. I told her to call the clinic and get an appointment and she did. It's just a virus..sore throat and swollen glands. I think it's from stress I spoke to her a little while ago and she said she felt better and was playing a game with her suitemates.

Congratulations on getting through! But so sorry she's starting off not feeling well. I'm sure it helps you to know she is getting along with her suitemates though.

Move in day for DD is Monday! I'm already so sad. I'm gonna try to hold it together until we leave, lol! Wish me luck!

Best of luck to you and your DD!

For all you moving your babies in, I wish you luck. Don't be afraid of the emotions Moving in is stressful. At my son's school they were so orgainized it was scary. A bunch of kids swarmed the car and unloaded everything on carts and brought it all to the room.

Well I officially have a week under my belt.

A friend shared this article with me. I warn you all it will make you cry but it also puts everything in to perspective http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.boston.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Farticles%2F2011%2F08%2F28%2Fi_was_the_sun_the_kids_my_planets%2F&h=OAQGeGuD4

Sounds like they were really organized. That's awesome. I was just thrilled they had all sorts of carts sitting around the entrance. (Kids swarming the car would be even better though!) Thankfully we had my son's things out and into his room in just a few minutes with one trip. Of course, when my daughter goes, it will take a few more trips I'm sure......

The article sounds like something I'll appreciate when I read it. Soon. Just not yet. I'm doing fine and don't need anything pushing me over the edge!

It really does feel better a week into it, doesn't it? We're closing in on 2 weeks and finally starting to feel settled. I think what helps most is hearing from them about how they are settling in and starting to have some small successes.

 

[HERSEY]

Congratulations on getting through! But so sorry she's starting off not feeling well. I'm sure it helps you to know she is getting along with her suitemates though.



Best of luck to you and your DD!



Sounds like they were really organized. That's awesome. I was just thrilled they had all sorts of carts sitting around the entrance. (Kids swarming the car would be even better though!) Thankfully we had my son's things out and into his room in just a few minutes with one trip. Of course, when my daughter goes, it will take a few more trips I'm sure......

The article sounds like something I'll appreciate when I read it. Soon. Just not yet. I'm doing fine and don't need anything pushing me over the edge!

It really does feel better a week into it, doesn't it? We're closing in on 2 weeks and finally starting to feel settled. I think what helps most is hearing from them about how they are settling in and starting to have some small successes.

This is feeling more like a 10 step program for parents of College students

 

[mom2rtk]

This is feeling more like a 10 step program for parents of College students

Hello my name is Mom2rtk and I have a college student.

Just don't make me go back and do step one again.

 

[LisaR]

For all you moving your babies in, I wish you luck. Don't be afraid of the emotions Moving in is stressful. At my son's school they were so orgainized it was scary. A bunch of kids swarmed the car and unloaded everything on carts and brought it all to the room.

Well I officially have a week under my belt.

A friend shared this article with me. I warn you all it will make you cry but it also puts everything in to perspective http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.boston.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Farticles%2F2011%2F08%2F28%2Fi_was_the_sun_the_kids_my_planets%2F&h=OAQGeGuD4

I'm at a week and two days! I was doing fine, but I was in quite the grumpy mood yesterday and really just wanted her home. I almost had the attitude of, "It was all fun and games, now get home and let's get back to normal." Of course, that isn't going to happen. I'm fine today. It really wasn't about her yesterday, just more like life in general so I was feeling bad for myself.

Hang in there, everyone!

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm at a week and two days! I was doing fine, but I was in quite the grumpy mood yesterday and really just wanted her home. I almost had the attitude of, "It was all fun and games, now get home and let's get back to normal." Of course, that isn't going to happen. I'm fine today. It really wasn't about her yesterday, just more like life in general so I was feeling bad for myself.

Hang in there, everyone!

I bet we all have some days like that ahead of us.

 

[garada3]

The article sounds like something I'll appreciate when I read it. Soon. Just not yet. I'm doing fine and don't need anything pushing me over the edge!

Wish I would have read your suggestion before I clicked on the link.



We are three days out from dropping our first son off at college. That was quite a drop off the edge for me

 

[HERSEY]

Wish I would have read your suggestion before I clicked on the link.



We are three days out from dropping our first son off at college. That was quite a drop off the edge for me

Sorry I should have put a big louder warning

My big piece of advice, I need to remind myself is to pace yourself and keep busy. We all will get through this. My comfort is DS is having the time of his life. That makes me happy