Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[mom2rtk]

Thanks... your words of "you don't have to do it well. You just have to do it" made me tear up a bit. DH hugged me today and said "I will miss him too" that made me tear up and connect with DH more on this painful process. I love the support we are giving each other. Makes me feel not so alone and sad.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Astronaut-Wives-Club-Story/dp/1455503258


The book looks awesome. It has pics of the wives and gatherings when they watched landing on the moon, etc. Remember the scene in Apollo 13 when the wives are being practically run over by the press... "Remember we are proud, happy and thrilled" They have a pic regarding that slogan in it. Just makes me smile. I LOVE all that stuff and can't wait to read the book.

Here is the front cover preview:

Thanks for that. I really think I'd enjoy that book.

I'm sure there's lots of tearing up ahead for you this weekend. I'd like a chance to do our drop-off over again without all the the tearing up. Except that means I'd be doing it over again. And you couldn't pay me enough.

Pretty soon this will be in your past and you'll be moving forward again with Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks straight ahead.

 

[Katy Belle]

My son made it home last night. His friend's car overheated and they didn't use the A/C most of the way home in a heatwave, but they made it. We all just sat and talked and talked. And he's definitely not a talker. (Many of his texts are just one word long.) It was so nice. It's sort of like I've been holding my breath for the last 3 weeks and I can finally let it out. He's loving chemistry (Is this really MY son???? ), feels a little lost in calculus but knows some kids who can help. Mostly I think he just got really lucky in the roommate department. That piece is HUGE.

Hugs to everyone hitting bumps in the road. Do let us all know how it's going and how they work through those bumps.

Wow! This is sooooo similar to how our evening went too! Without the car overheating, thank goodness!

Big Guy is HOME!!!! He arrived at 4 and sat in the living room with us, TALKING, until about 5:45. Then he talked to DS16 for a bit in his room and listned to him play guitar, then he took a nap! Then we went out to dinner, he talked more! LOL! And home, he did some computer things with DS13 and went to Wal Mart with DS16. I'm not feeling 100% and got up in the middle of the night to take some meds...he was on my computer playing games, at 1:30 a.m. I told him to go to bed. He said, "I'm not tired yet, I'm a college kid." He grinned and went up to bed.

His roommate isn't exactly wonderful. He eats nearly all of his meals in the room. DS and his friends have been inviting him to come eat with them, he's come a few times, but usually refuses. Roommate isn't going out with old friends or new friends, stays in the room most of the time. Does homework at the last minute, etc. Luckily DS has moved on without him and continues to try to get him to come out of the room. Roommate also has techno music on a continual loop that he listens to while he sleeps. UGH! After the first night and DS not being able to sleep, he told roommate it had to stop. So roommate got headphones and turned the music down more and DS moved his fan closer to his own head. He says its fine. I'm proud of him for handling it.

DH asked DS what surprised him about college. He said the classes are smaller than he expected (YAY!) and the work, so far, easier than he expected and that its harder to make friends than he expected. That last one hurts me...but I know he WILL make more friends. He has an old friend and a new friend on his dorm floor, they eat together a bunch. He has 4 good old friends in another dorm that he has seen a fair amount., and 2 more in another dorm that he's seen a couple of times. He will be fine. Oh, he also said there were fewer "cute" girls than he expected...followed by, "That's ok, I only need one." LOL! He said in class its impossible to make friends since there is very little interaction, mostly just lecture. AND he said he has Farris Bueler's teacher!!! The dude really says, "Anyone? Anyone?" DS says he answers about 3 questions and then if feels weird, so he quits raising his hand

He ended up with FOUR parking tickets the first week, at $20 a piece!!!!!! But other than that, no big issues, and he now knows where he CAN'T park!

He will see old friends tonight at a party and we are having some of his friends over for pizza tomorrow night.

I'm happy he's talking and not getting irritated with my MILLION questions. I'm thrilled that he's loving his computer Science class and finding it easy and able to help others in it!

Big hugs to the parents dropping off kids for the first time this weekend!!!

 

[mommabo]

I think I must be the last one to send DS off to school. Today is our last day with him home. we have so much to do and I know we will be busy. We have our "last supper" planned, his choice of course. We plan to watch a movie together and look at pics from our trip to Anaheim for FBLA nationals.

This morning we had a talk that was very nice. He went to a restaurant with friends last night that had belly dancers. I guess a last hurrah with his friends. Sounds like they had a good time of course!

He also made my day by asking for a pic 5x7 size of the family to take with him. I've got it printing now at walgreens. He picked 2... one from his Eagle scout ceremony and one from our cruise last year. Of course I'm happy he picked a Disney related one!

I did find something to preoccupy my time with when he leaves. it is a book that I found last night. Decided that I won't read it till he leaves, so it gives me something to look forward to. A book about the original astronaut wives. It looks great.

I find myself crying a lot more. One of my patients asked me what I would be doing this weekend. Without skipping a beat I said I would be crying... a lot! Oh this is going to be so hard.

I had avoided this thread as my oldest DD went of to college last year, but as I read your post, I felt compelled to reply.

I too found myself shedding a few tears throughout her senior year and when the final day came, those tears had become huge sobs. DD was running an errand that last day and due back any minute. Rather than having DD see me wracked with sobs, I had gone into my closet so she wouldn't hear me. I felt so alone, I texted my sister to commiserate. Here we are a year later and I had forgotten that incident until sister reminded me.

Oddly enough, the day of move in there were no tears from me. It could be that we had very limited time to get into the dorm, or the fact that it was Arizona summer and I was sweating so much, there was no fluid left in my body, or the day was here and the anticipation was over.

About 4 weeks later DD called and needed something she had forgotten. When I won't into her room, I realized I had not been in there since she left. Apparently I had subconsciously avoiding it. You guessed it, a few tears fell, but nothing like before.

Any visit we had the first semester seemed to always have tears from mom when we said goodbye, but they were more happy tears. Somewhere along the way, the tears had stopped. By second semester the only tears were the time we said goodbye after a weekend of apartment hunting. I think the realization she was moving on to a new chapter of adulthood hit me as we said goodbye. As she walked back into her dorm, I turned to DH and the sobs were back. However, they didn't last as long.

Here we are end of summer. We took DD back about 3 weeks ago and you know what? I was sort of ready for her to go. Don't get me wrong, summer was great, I loved having her home and so did her siblings, but somewhere along the way, we had adjusted to our new dynamic. More time was spent with our other kids and DH and I had more time for each other, it was just a general change that we had grown accustomed to. I adore DD and look forward to her being home next summer, but hopefully this means I'll be ready and the tears will be manageable when the summer visits stop and she is fully living an independent life.

All this is to say, we spent the last 18 years having every thought and decision be at least somewhat influenced by how it effects our children, but now you are going to get a little bit of that energy back for you. Your worries won't go away, but they will be different; you will miss them, but enjoy your 'you' time; you'll adjust to your new situation and have to readjust when they come home, but you will get through it all! Change is difficult, but they will always be your babies - just bigger, farther away and way more expensive

 

[mom2rtk]

Wow! This is sooooo similar to how our evening went too! Without the car overheating, thank goodness!

Big Guy is HOME!!!! He arrived at 4 and sat in the living room with us, TALKING, until about 5:45. Then he talked to DS16 for a bit in his room and listned to him play guitar, then he took a nap! Then we went out to dinner, he talked more! LOL! And home, he did some computer things with DS13 and went to Wal Mart with DS16. I'm not feeling 100% and got up in the middle of the night to take some meds...he was on my computer playing games, at 1:30 a.m. I told him to go to bed. He said, "I'm not tired yet, I'm a college kid." He grinned and went up to bed.

His roommate isn't exactly wonderful. He eats nearly all of his meals in the room. DS and his friends have been inviting him to come eat with them, he's come a few times, but usually refuses. Roommate isn't going out with old friends or new friends, stays in the room most of the time. Does homework at the last minute, etc. Luckily DS has moved on without him and continues to try to get him to come out of the room. Roommate also has techno music on a continual loop that he listens to while he sleeps. UGH! After the first night and DS not being able to sleep, he told roommate it had to stop. So roommate got headphones and turned the music down more and DS moved his fan closer to his own head. He says its fine. I'm proud of him for handling it.

DH asked DS what surprised him about college. He said the classes are smaller than he expected (YAY!) and the work, so far, easier than he expected and that its harder to make friends than he expected. That last one hurts me...but I know he WILL make more friends. He has an old friend and a new friend on his dorm floor, they eat together a bunch. He has 4 good old friends in another dorm that he has seen a fair amount., and 2 more in another dorm that he's seen a couple of times. He will be fine. Oh, he also said there were fewer "cute" girls than he expected...followed by, "That's ok, I only need one." LOL! He said in class its impossible to make friends since there is very little interaction, mostly just lecture. AND he said he has Farris Bueler's teacher!!! The dude really says, "Anyone? Anyone?" DS says he answers about 3 questions and then if feels weird, so he quits raising his hand

He ended up with FOUR parking tickets the first week, at $20 a piece!!!!!! But other than that, no big issues, and he now knows where he CAN'T park!

He will see old friends tonight at a party and we are having some of his friends over for pizza tomorrow night.

I'm happy he's talking and not getting irritated with my MILLION questions. I'm thrilled that he's loving his computer Science class and finding it easy and able to help others in it!

Big hugs to the parents dropping off kids for the first time this weekend!!!

Oh no, FOUR parking tickets? Yikes! That's a tough way to learn parking policy. My son's roommate got hosed for $120 when he lost his room key a couple days after moving in. Thankfully my son learns well from other kids' mistakes and is now very careful with his own key.

Sorry your son is disappointed in his roommate. But at least it sounds like he knows a decent number of kids already and is starting to meet some new ones.

So glad you have him home safely. Isn't it strange to find them sitting there after all that angst of them leaving?

I like your question to him about what was most surprising so far. I'll have to ask mine when he's back home again later.

I asked mine what was the craziest thing he's seen yet. He said he couldn't tell me! I guess I'll just appreciate his discretion. He's always been one to enjoy watching the antics going on about him, but likes to stay out of the fray himself. Thankfully.

I had avoided this thread as my oldest DD went of to college last year, but as I read your post, I felt compelled to reply.

I too found myself shedding a few tears throughout her senior year and when the final day came, those tears had become huge sobs. DD was running an errand that last day and due back any minute. Rather than having DD see me wracked with sobs, I had gone into my closet so she wouldn't hear me. I felt so alone, I texted my sister to commiserate. Here we are a year later and I had forgotten that incident until sister reminded me.

Oddly enough, the day of move in there were no tears from me. It could be that we had very limited time to get into the dorm, or the fact that it was Arizona summer and I was sweating so much, there was no fluid left in my body, or the day was here and the anticipation was over.

About 4 weeks later DD called and needed something she had forgotten. When I won't into her room, I realized I had not been in there since she left. Apparently I had subconsciously avoiding it. You guessed it, a few tears fell, but nothing like before.

Any visit we had the first semester seemed to always have tears from mom when we said goodbye, but they were more happy tears. Somewhere along the way, the tears had stopped. By second semester the only tears were the time we said goodbye after a weekend of apartment hunting. I think the realization she was moving on to a new chapter of adulthood hit me as we said goodbye. As she walked back into her dorm, I turned to DH and the sobs were back. However, they didn't last as long.

Here we are end of summer. We took DD back about 3 weeks ago and you know what? I was sort of ready for her to go. Don't get me wrong, summer was great, I loved having her home and so did her siblings, but somewhere along the way, we had adjusted to our new dynamic. More time was spent with our other kids and DH and I had more time for each other, it was just a general change that we had grown accustomed to. I adore DD and look forward to her being home next summer, but hopefully this means I'll be ready and the tears will be manageable when the summer visits stop and she is fully living an independent life.

All this is to say, we spent the last 18 years having every thought and decision be at least somewhat influenced by how it effects our children, but now you are going to get a little bit of that energy back for you. Your worries won't go away, but they will be different; you will miss them, but enjoy your 'you' time; you'll adjust to your new situation and have to readjust when they come home, but you will get through it all! Change is difficult, but they will always be your babies - just bigger, farther away and way more expensive

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective a year later. So glad you have settled into this new phase. It gives me hope all will be well.

 

[donac]

Thanks... your words of "you don't have to do it well. You just have to do it" made me tear up a bit. DH hugged me today and said "I will miss him too" that made me tear up and connect with DH more on this painful process. I love the support we are giving each other. Makes me feel not so alone and sad.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Astronaut-Wives-Club-Story/dp/1455503258

I guess in a way we have formed our own club here too... "the college KIDS mom's club"


The book looks awesome. It has pics of the wives and gatherings when they watched landing on the moon, etc. Remember the scene in Apollo 13 when the wives are being practically run over by the press... "Remember we are proud, happy and thrilled" They have a pic regarding that slogan in it. Just makes me smile. I LOVE all that stuff and can't wait to read the book.

Here is the front cover preview:



I guess in a way we have made our own club here too... "The SAD MY KIDS ARE LEAVING FOR COLLEGE MOM'S CLUB"

The book is wonderful. I had heard about it on the disboards and picked it up. I am really into the space program and have my calc ab kids watch Apollo 13 every year.


I have been a true empty nester since May. Ds2 moved into an apartment last May but ds1 was still at home even though there were times when we didn't see him for days at a time. He and the dog move in with the gf in May so it is really quiet here. I think we miss the dog more than ds1. We just took a trip to DW just the 2 of us and it was wonderful. You do get used to it but it does take a while.

 

[LisaR]

My son made it home last night. His friend's car overheated and they didn't use the A/C most of the way home in a heatwave, but they made it. We all just sat and talked and talked. And he's definitely not a talker. (Many of his texts are just one word long.) It was so nice. It's sort of like I've been holding my breath for the last 3 weeks and I can finally let it out. He's loving chemistry (Is this really MY son???? ), feels a little lost in calculus but knows some kids who can help. Mostly I think he just got really lucky in the roommate department. That piece is HUGE.

Hugs to everyone hitting bumps in the road. Do let us all know how it's going and how they work through those bumps.

I'm so happy he is sharing so much!!!! And it is always such a relief to hear how well they are doing. That makes it so much easier.

I think I must be the last one to send DS off to school. Today is our last day with him home. we have so much to do and I know we will be busy. We have our "last supper" planned, his choice of course. We plan to watch a movie together and look at pics from our trip to Anaheim for FBLA nationals.

This morning we had a talk that was very nice. He went to a restaurant with friends last night that had belly dancers. I guess a last hurrah with his friends. Sounds like they had a good time of course!

He also made my day by asking for a pic 5x7 size of the family to take with him. I've got it printing now at walgreens. He picked 2... one from his Eagle scout ceremony and one from our cruise last year. Of course I'm happy he picked a Disney related one!

I did find something to preoccupy my time with when he leaves. it is a book that I found last night. Decided that I won't read it till he leaves, so it gives me something to look forward to. A book about the original astronaut wives. It looks great.

I find myself crying a lot more. One of my patients asked me what I would be doing this weekend. Without skipping a beat I said I would be crying... a lot! Oh this is going to be so hard.

Hang in there. It really does get easier, I promise.

Wow! This is sooooo similar to how our evening went too! Without the car overheating, thank goodness!

Big Guy is HOME!!!! He arrived at 4 and sat in the living room with us, TALKING, until about 5:45. Then he talked to DS16 for a bit in his room and listned to him play guitar, then he took a nap! Then we went out to dinner, he talked more! LOL! And home, he did some computer things with DS13 and went to Wal Mart with DS16. I'm not feeling 100% and got up in the middle of the night to take some meds...he was on my computer playing games, at 1:30 a.m. I told him to go to bed. He said, "I'm not tired yet, I'm a college kid." He grinned and went up to bed.

His roommate isn't exactly wonderful. He eats nearly all of his meals in the room. DS and his friends have been inviting him to come eat with them, he's come a few times, but usually refuses. Roommate isn't going out with old friends or new friends, stays in the room most of the time. Does homework at the last minute, etc. Luckily DS has moved on without him and continues to try to get him to come out of the room. Roommate also has techno music on a continual loop that he listens to while he sleeps. UGH! After the first night and DS not being able to sleep, he told roommate it had to stop. So roommate got headphones and turned the music down more and DS moved his fan closer to his own head. He says its fine. I'm proud of him for handling it.

DH asked DS what surprised him about college. He said the classes are smaller than he expected (YAY!) and the work, so far, easier than he expected and that its harder to make friends than he expected. That last one hurts me...but I know he WILL make more friends. He has an old friend and a new friend on his dorm floor, they eat together a bunch. He has 4 good old friends in another dorm that he has seen a fair amount., and 2 more in another dorm that he's seen a couple of times. He will be fine. Oh, he also said there were fewer "cute" girls than he expected...followed by, "That's ok, I only need one." LOL! He said in class its impossible to make friends since there is very little interaction, mostly just lecture. AND he said he has Farris Bueler's teacher!!! The dude really says, "Anyone? Anyone?" DS says he answers about 3 questions and then if feels weird, so he quits raising his hand

He ended up with FOUR parking tickets the first week, at $20 a piece!!!!!! But other than that, no big issues, and he now knows where he CAN'T park!

He will see old friends tonight at a party and we are having some of his friends over for pizza tomorrow night.

I'm happy he's talking and not getting irritated with my MILLION questions. I'm thrilled that he's loving his computer Science class and finding it easy and able to help others in it!

Big hugs to the parents dropping off kids for the first time this weekend!!!

It is so great to hear about the boys opening up. It gives me hope when my son goes away. It helps so much just to hear them say it is going well.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Wow! Big Guy is HOME!!!! He arrived at 4 and sat in the living room with us, TALKING, until about 5:45. Then he talked to DS16 for a bit in his room and listned to him play guitar, then he took a nap! Then we went out to dinner, he talked more! LOL! And home, he did some computer things with DS13 and went to Wal Mart with DS16. I'm not feeling 100% and got up in the middle of the night to take some meds...he was on my computer playing games, at 1:30 a.m. I told him to go to bed. He said, "I'm not tired yet, I'm a college kid." He grinned and went up to bed.

DH asked DS what surprised him about college. He said the classes are smaller than he expected (YAY!) and the work, so far, easier than he expected and that its harder to make friends than he expected. That last one hurts me...but I know he WILL make more friends. He has an old friend and a new friend on his dorm floor, they eat together a bunch. He has 4 good old friends in another dorm that he has seen a fair amount., and 2 more in another dorm that he's seen a couple of times. He will be fine. Oh, he also said there were fewer "cute" girls than he expected...followed by, "That's ok, I only need one." LOL! He said in class its impossible to make friends since there is very little interaction, mostly just lecture. AND he said he has Farris Bueler's teacher!!! The dude really says, "Anyone? Anyone?" DS says he answers about 3 questions and then if feels weird, so he quits raising his hand

Big hugs to the parents dropping off kids for the first time this weekend!!!

That is GREAT that you spent so much time talking with him. Great that he opened up like that. Stinks about the room mate, hopefully things will get better with him. However it is awesome that he went out and made friends. I like the question your DH asked, I think I will tuck it into my mind to ask that question as well.

Here we are end of summer. We took DD back about 3 weeks ago and you know what? I was sort of ready for her to go. Don't get me wrong, summer was great, I loved having her home and so did her siblings, but somewhere along the way, we had adjusted to our new dynamic. More time was spent with our other kids and DH and I had more time for each other, it was just a general change that we had grown accustomed to. I adore DD and look forward to her being home next summer, but hopefully this means I'll be ready and the tears will be manageable when the summer visits stop and she is fully living an independent life.

All this is to say, we spent the last 18 years having every thought and decision be at least somewhat influenced by how it effects our children, but now you are going to get a little bit of that energy back for you. Your worries won't go away, but they will be different; you will miss them, but enjoy your 'you' time; you'll adjust to your new situation and have to readjust when they come home, but you will get through it all! Change is difficult, but they will always be your babies - just bigger, farther away and way more expensive

Thanks for your thoughts. Your one paragraph reminded me of an episode of Home Improvement. Did you ever watch it? Randy had left for Costa Rica and came back for Christmas. The family had missed him terribly, I remember when he left the mom cried a lot (sound familiar?) but they all moved on to a new "normal" and when he came back it was hard for him to fit into the new "normal" and everyone was busy. Eventually they found a way to reconnect. I sure hope the new normal is an easy transition, but I also don't want DS to feel out of place too. Ahhhh, change is not fun. Thanks for your post, it does give me hope.

The book is wonderful. I had heard about it on the disboards and picked it up. I am really into the space program and have my calc ab kids watch Apollo 13 every year.


I have been a true empty nester since May. Ds2 moved into an apartment last May but ds1 was still at home even though there were times when we didn't see him for days at a time. He and the dog move in with the gf in May so it is really quiet here. I think we miss the dog more than ds1. We just took a trip to DW just the 2 of us and it was wonderful. You do get used to it but it does take a while.

Glad to hear the book was good. I am looking forward to reading it. I too LOVE all things space program so I am really looking forward to reading it. So how was WDW with just the 2 of you? I think that might be hard and weird too. I am already planning a trip for just the 2 of us when DD flies off to college in 4 years. We will be able to go DURING the school year! LOL! But I already know I'll have to plan something different, so I am not lamenting over our kids being grown.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Well, we had a great day. I spent a GREAT hour with DS today, he shared his favorite music play list with me. It was great to just chill out with him and listen to his music. we did a lot of errands, last minute stuff. Had a Great dinner that he loved, watched a funny movie with his favorite taco salad and shared with DH and DD the pics from our trip to Anaheim for FBLA. Was great.

2 things had me cry today. First, when DS and I were listening to music the song "hallelujah" was on his list. Cried. couldn't help myself. I tried.

Second, DD wrote a card to her big brother and she shared it with me. It was so sweet and funny. She was tearing up a bit as well. Interesting how then my focus shifted to helping her though this transition and the tears stopped as I tried to comfort her.

Oh, I think DD and I will be basket cases tomorrow.

AND to top it off... All summer long, barely any rain... tomorrow for drop off??? Rain and thunderstorms... seriously????

 

[LisaR]

DH and I went to visit DD today and spent seven wonderful hours with her! It was just so great to see her in person and see how well she really is doing.

She talked, and talked, and talked, but that is pretty normal for her.


When we got back from dinner, there was a cookie sheet and box of cookie mix sitting outside her door. On her white board, some friends wrote, "Now you can make us cookies!" I guess she told a couple guys that she could make them cookies if they buy all the stuff and they did! When we left tonight, the guys were waiting in the lounge for her and her roommate to bake for them. I think I need to have a chat with DD about the difference between the 1950's and 2013!

She has joined multiple clubs, is playing an intramural sport, and she is hanging out with a lot of people just having fun. They love going to the rec room where they play board games, ping pong, and pool.

She doesn't love her classes, but she knew this semester would have a few classes that she just needed to plow through. The rest of the semesters should be better. Four of her five classes require large group projects so she is hoping she is put with motivated students instead of slackers.

It really does help me to know she is loving it. I think I would need to be medicated if I thought she hated it. It was a great visit and I wish I could see her every weekend!!

 

[LisaR]

Well, we had a great day. I spent a GREAT hour with DS today, he shared his favorite music play list with me. It was great to just chill out with him and listen to his music. we did a lot of errands, last minute stuff. Had a Great dinner that he loved, watched a funny movie with his favorite taco salad and shared with DH and DD the pics from our trip to Anaheim for FBLA. Was great.

2 things had me cry today. First, when DS and I were listening to music the song "hallelujah" was on his list. Cried. couldn't help myself. I tried.

Second, DD wrote a card to her big brother and she shared it with me. It was so sweet and funny. She was tearing up a bit as well. Interesting how then my focus shifted to helping her though this transition and the tears stopped as I tried to comfort her.

Oh, I think DD and I will be basket cases tomorrow.

AND to top it off... All summer long, barely any rain... tomorrow for drop off??? Rain and thunderstorms... seriously????

I'm glad it was such a great day for yo guys today!

Ten minutes after we got all of DD's things up to her room, we had torrential rain for a good hour. I was looking out her window feeling sorry for all the people still trying to move in and getting soaked. No fun.

One more day. You'll get through this!

 

[Buckalew11]

(((hugs))) I remember this very well.

For me, the weeks and days leading up to her moving in were worse than the actual day.

DD spent spring break and her summer in OR --2500 miles away. Lord, if I had only know last August that I would have been sending her off that far away, to somewhere we've never been before, and frankly, never dreamed of going there...well, I would have never believed I could have done it.

I hope everyone's kids do well and really enjoy their college experience.

 

[DVCLiz]

DD19 is a sophomore this year, at a school about a 14 hour drive away. Last year we all (me, big sis, and dad but not step-mom) went down and helped her move in. She had a wonderful year so this year she was headed back by herself.

The plan was to drive the first four hours, spend the night with her sister, then make the big drive. Did I mention I had a seminar on the West Coast and she was driving down I95 to Florida? So she calls and tells me the "Safely Stop Car Now" light has come on and she is losing power so I guide her to the shoulder. Long story short but thanks to AAA and a friend from camp she got safely off the road, towed to a dealership, into a hotel, then back out of the hotel and to a friend's lake house, friend's dad arranged for her to have a rental car even though she is underage and no traditional agency would rent to her - and she made it to school about 7pm tonight.

I am home now too and the plan is to have the car repaired on Tuesday (holiday weekend, of course) and then she will drive back the five or six hours to return her rental, get her car, then turn around and drive back to school. I hope she will either take a friend to help with the driving or be willing to spend the night along the way before she drives back to school, but that will be determined later.

This has been nerve-wracking but also a great learning experience and she sees the importance of listening to me when I say it is critical to have insurance, registration and AAA information at all times, as well as a charged phone and a backup plan.

 

[donac]

Glad to hear the book was good. I am looking forward to reading it. I too LOVE all things space program so I am really looking forward to reading it. So how was WDW with just the 2 of you? I think that might be hard and weird too. I am already planning a trip for just the 2 of us when DD flies off to college in 4 years. We will be able to go DURING the school year! LOL! But I already know I'll have to plan something different, so I am not lamenting over our kids being grown.

DW with just the 2 of us was wonderful. We did about 4 years ago. Last year we went with my sister's family and our sons brought their gf's so we had 11 people. You never had to decide for yourself since someone always had a plan or a lunch to meet up for. We are early risers so we would shower, dress, eat and read a newspaper before everyone was ready to go. We never made it into the parks when dh and I liked to do it (before or at RD). This time we made it into the parks very early and had a great time. We did some shows we had never done. You might want to look into the Keys to the Kingdom tour. Dh did it a couple of years ago and ds and his gf did it last year and they all loved it. Since we only had 4 1/2 days in the parks I didn't want to waste it with the tour (It is 4 1/2 hours long) but next time we go we will do it.

Good luck today. I remember when ds1 left I didn't cry until I got into the car to drive home.

 

[Christine]

DD19 is a sophomore this year, at a school about a 14 hour drive away. Last year we all (me, big sis, and dad but not step-mom) went down and helped her move in. She had a wonderful year so this year she was headed back by herself.

The plan was to drive the first four hours, spend the night with her sister, then make the big drive. Did I mention I had a seminar on the West Coast and she was driving down I95 to Florida? So she calls and tells me the "Safely Stop Car Now" light has come on and she is losing power so I guide her to the shoulder. Long story short but thanks to AAA and a friend from camp she got safely off the road, towed to a dealership, into a hotel, then back out of the hotel and to a friend's lake house, friend's dad arranged for her to have a rental car even though she is underage and no traditional agency would rent to her - and she made it to school about 7pm tonight.

I am home now too and the plan is to have the car repaired on Tuesday (holiday weekend, of course) and then she will drive back the five or six hours to return her rental, get her car, then turn around and drive back to school. I hope she will either take a friend to help with the driving or be willing to spend the night along the way before she drives back to school, but that will be determined later.

This has been nerve-wracking but also a great learning experience and she sees the importance of listening to me when I say it is critical to have insurance, registration and AAA information at all times, as well as a charged phone and a backup plan.

OMG!!! That's my biggest fear--long distance trip and the car dying on me. It seems to have all worked out but geez, right?

 

[Christine]

Well, I am actually going to drive down today to my son's college. He called me and said "yeah, I think I'd really like my X-Box and I don't have enough towels and I'd sure like a few more pairs of shorts."

So, since I have a 3-day weekend and the school is just under 2 hours away, it's doable. My friend and are going to drive down this morning, get there about lunch time, take him to lunch, grocery store, etc. I will then get to take a look at him to see if I think he needs to see a doctor (I posted earlier this week on a separate thread that he has been having a nighttime cough) or if I think he can just hang on for a bit. I probably won't stay more than 3 hours.

I am sort of liking this shorter distance away. My DD's campus is 4 hours away and it's just a bit far for a day trip, although that's what I do if I need to go there.

 

[mom2travel]

Well, I am actually going to drive down today to my son's college. He called me and said "yeah, I think I'd really like my X-Box and I don't have enough towels and I'd sure like a few more pairs of shorts."

So, since I have a 3-day weekend and the school is just under 2 hours away, it's doable. My friend and are going to drive down this morning, get there about lunch time, take him to lunch, grocery store, etc. I will then get to take a look at him to see if I think he needs to see a doctor (I posted earlier this week on a separate thread that he has been having a nighttime cough) or if I think he can just hang on for a bit. I probably won't stay more than 3 hours.

I am sort of liking this shorter distance away. My DD's campus is 4 hours away and it's just a bit far for a day trip, although that's what I do if I need to go there.

Safe travels and enjoy your day with your DS

 

[Katy Belle]

DD19 is a sophomore this year, at a school about a 14 hour drive away. Last year we all (me, big sis, and dad but not step-mom) went down and helped her move in. She had a wonderful year so this year she was headed back by herself.

The plan was to drive the first four hours, spend the night with her sister, then make the big drive. Did I mention I had a seminar on the West Coast and she was driving down I95 to Florida? So she calls and tells me the "Safely Stop Car Now" light has come on and she is losing power so I guide her to the shoulder. Long story short but thanks to AAA and a friend from camp she got safely off the road, towed to a dealership, into a hotel, then back out of the hotel and to a friend's lake house, friend's dad arranged for her to have a rental car even though she is underage and no traditional agency would rent to her - and she made it to school about 7pm tonight.

I am home now too and the plan is to have the car repaired on Tuesday (holiday weekend, of course) and then she will drive back the five or six hours to return her rental, get her car, then turn around and drive back to school. I hope she will either take a friend to help with the driving or be willing to spend the night along the way before she drives back to school, but that will be determined later.

This has been nerve-wracking but also a great learning experience and she sees the importance of listening to me when I say it is critical to have insurance, registration and AAA information at all times, as well as a charged phone and a backup plan.

Oh my! These are exactly the kind of things we hope our kids don't have to deal with, but its real life! Proud of you DD for handling it all so well! And yes, what a good lesson in being prepared and a good reminder for the rest of us with kids on the road. My kid only has a 2 hour drive, but this is a reminder that things CAN happen!

 

[luvavacation]

Good luck making it through move-in, Princess Vija! If your other child is going with you, tell your child that continuous talking is a must! The chatterbox that is my younger daughter helped so much 4 years ago when we dropped off my eldest.

It has now been over 2 weeks since my youngest left for college and my eldest left for Graduate School and her new life with her fiance. Both girls came home for Labor Day holiday, so I am very happy!

My eldest was supposed to go with her fiance to visit his family, some 6 hours away from where they live, but then little sister asked her to please be home when she comes home from college for the first time, and so big sis came home. If someone had told me 6, 7 years ago that the two girls would be so close at this point in their lives, I would have never believed it. But they are both home, my house is no longer remaining clean and organized (girls went fishing and frogging with their dad yesterday, and of course brought the mud inside!), there is sound in my home again, and oh it is so wonderful!

Life in college for the youngest is going better than she expected! She is surprised that she likes it, though she is quick to say that being home is still better. She has lost about 4 pounds though, but she claims it is because the salad bar is amazing at her favorite dining hall, so she has been loading up on salad. She reassures me that she is adding eggs and nuts to the salad, and eating spinach as the green, so I don't worry about her nutrition. Eldest daughter tells her to quit eating so much salad, or she will tire of it and never want to eat salad again! I worry that she will develop an eating disorder, so I am keeping an eye on how she looks when we Skype! Though she has always been one to love a good salad, so maybe she just really likes the salad bar?

Eldest DD is having a harder time. Though she says she loves the lab and professor she is working with for her graduate work, and loves her fiance, she still misses us so much. This from the child that made it through 6 months in FL for a Disney Internship (but I did visit 3 times - had to, she was at Disney)! But I think it is the knowledge that this is her life now, away from us, moved out and putting down roots 3.5 hours away with her fiance. Once we make it through the added stress of planning the wedding, I hope it will be easier for her.

I do have to say, everyone was correct, it did get easier for me to handle the emotions as time goes by! My husband, I think, took longer to accept them being gone than I did, but he finally went back into the garage alone last Sunday to work on his projects, which he hadn't done since the girls left. He was used to someone coming out and talking with him, keeping him company, and the silence was just deafening for him. Hopefully he will adjust ok when they leave again tomorrow.

It was funny, when the girls both came home Friday, they were walking through the house, looking at what DH and I had changed in 2 weeks! From new carpet in the family room to kitchen faucets to shower heads to shelving (and more!), they were just so amused! What can I say, we had to keep busy that first week. But, it gets easier.

I still don't know what I will do with my life, for I feel as if I am still in limbo, no longer a mom focused on raising kids but not a woman focused on my own desires, either. Time will come, however, when I do find my path, because that's what everyone says, and so far everyone has been right about the rest of this journey of letting kids go! Can you all just tell me what my path is?

 

[DVCLiz]

OMG!!! That's my biggest fear--long distance trip and the car dying on me. It seems to have all worked out but geez, right?

Oh my! These are exactly the kind of things we hope our kids don't have to deal with, but its real life! Proud of you DD for handling it all so well! And yes, what a good lesson in being prepared and a good reminder for the rest of us with kids on the road. My kid only has a 2 hour drive, but this is a reminder that things CAN happen!

Yes, of course it was exactly what I knew might happen but never dreamed really would. Her car was inspected in late July and all was well for the long drive - tires, brakes, fluids, etc. So I will be interested to see what they say is wrong - could be a few hundred dollars for a faulty pump or could be a few thousand for something major

The real worries are getting hit on the highway because you aren't able to get safely to the shoulder, and running into trouble in the form of somebody unsavory stopping and/or not finding a safe place to spend the night. Everything else is just inconvenient, but those two can be deadly. We will review how to contact the Highway Patrol in each state she drives through before she makes this long drive again next spring.

 

[HERSEY]

I am so glad I stumbled in to the thread! So much of what all of you are feeling is the same for me. I get cranky for no good reason.

We have been having bad weather here for the last couple of days. I was worrying about DS during the storms. He is not the kind to get freaked during storms that is my area. We had a good long talk yesterday. He sounds good and adjusting just fine. I am so glad. He has found his way around the same town. The school has a really good bus system that picks them up and takes them all over the town for free. He has been taking advantage of that. I worried about him starving and not have anyway to get around since he didn't take a car. I guess the kid is more self-reliant than I thought. He is just amazes me we talked about me coming down for Family weekend and sounds excited. That may be when I really cry.

I am going to have to find that book at my library. I love space stuff. I remember watching the liftoffs in school. The school made it an event we took time out and all watched it on the tv the Nuns would bring into the classrooms.