Have you let your own teens drink alcohol

[indimom]

No. We didn't provide it when they were underage.
Dd21 doesn't even like the smell of alcohol so don't expect any issues for her. She's a sparkling cider kinda girl.
Ds18 is in the AF, I hope he waits and doesn't get himself into any trouble. He's never given me any reason to worry.

I'm not convinced that allowing or denying alcohol to teens has any bearing on their choices when out of the house. I just tried to reinforce safety and common sense and responsibility in all areas.

 

[amberpi]

My DH has 50% custody of his 2 children. There is NO way we would ever feel comfortable allowing the kids to drink under age 18 even if we would feel it was just fine. We don't even keep hard liquor (or rarely for an evening if we're entertaining) in the house to be above reproach. Despite the situation not being ideal, there are some parenting choices that are set-up for us, so at least we don't have to agonize over some parental decisions. I can't imagine that changing in the years leading up to 18.

 

[Hikergirl]

I drank all the time when I was 18. My parents even knew about it and bought me alcohol.







Oh, maybe that’s because it’s legal here.

It is legal for me to purchase my 18 year old alcohol, it just isn't legal for him to purchase it himself.
Of course there are other laws he could be breaking like if he consumes it in public, or obviously drives while drinking, however it is not illegal for him to drink alcohol in our home.

 

[DopeyDame]

We thought why wait til their teens......we just poured whiskey in their baby bottles. Really helped with teething and sleeping thru the night.

my parents swear they rubbed brandy on my gums when I was teething!

 

[smiths02]

FWIW, DH comes from a family where drinking is considered morally wrong. (Love my MIL, but she did lecture DH when she found out we had the "hard stuff" in our house)
I come from a family with a history of alcoholism and drug problems where I could have had alcohol or pot easily as a teen from my parent.

To make a long story shorter, neither of us are big drinkers. I might have a few glasses of wine once every other month or so...DH drinks maybe 3-4 times a year (vacation, anniversary dinner, etc.). Neither of us started drinking at all until around 21 (I was a few months shy of 21 when we got married and I had champagne).

In our state, the law is clear that you can't furnish alcohol to someone under 21. DH and I both have professions where being caught doing so could damage our careers significantly. Therefore, we will not be allowing that. I will not morally judge someone who lets their 18 year old have a glass of wine with dinner, we just won't be those parents.

 

[soccerdad72]

My DH has 50% custody of his 2 children. There is NO way we would ever feel comfortable allowing the kids to drink under age 18 even if we would feel it was just fine. We don't even keep hard liquor (or rarely for an evening if we're entertaining) in the house to be above reproach. Despite the situation not being ideal, there are some parenting choices that are set-up for us, so at least we don't have to agonize over some parental decisions. I can't imagine that changing in the years leading up to 18.

Just curious - why is 18 the age you're focused on when 21 is the legal drinking age?

 

[Hikergirl]

Just curious - why is 18 the age you're focused on when 21 is the legal drinking age?

FWIW, 21 is the National legal age one can purchase and/or be served in public establishments. That is not the same as "drinking" age. It is not illegal in many states for someone under 21 to drink under certain conditions.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Just curious - why is 18 the age you're focused on when 21 is the legal drinking age?

Im assuming the custody agreement ends at 18 and they no longer have to worry about the other parent flipping out on a decision they made.

 

[amberpi]

Just curious - why is 18 the age you're focused on when 21 is the legal drinking age?

At 18, we aren't bound to a custody order.

 

[soccerdad72]

At 18, we aren't bound to a custody order.

Gotcha - makes sense

 

[mummabear]

Flash forward to pics from prom last night and I saw so much evidence of binge drinking. I asked my kid if there was any interest in that type of behavior and was told not in the slightest. We have taken the stigma out of drinking.

Yeah I would totally take my teen on their word on that...
Doesnt mean in your case they arent one of the rare few, but really any kid is going to tell their parents that.

We do unapologetically maintain the sanctity of our home though and mind-blowing as it may seem, no unmarried persons share a bed at our house. We've got the space to accommodate an unmarried couple separately and that's what we offer if the occasion arises. People of all worldviews are are very welcome and we've hosted a wide array of guests, all of whom willingly choose to respect our boundaries.Again, it's not about changing anything they do or don't do. It's strictly about living our own beliefs with integrity.

Yes it is, your beliefs are yours, and about your own actions. It is you not sharing a bed before you are married, not you forcing other people ot to. You are in fact changing what they do by pushing your beliefs on them.
Now it is a simple solution, I would just refuse to stay with you, and when family is visiting that is as much your loss as theirs.

 

[ronandannette]

Yeah I would totally take my teen on their word on that...
Doesnt mean in your case they arent one of the rare few, but really any kid is going to tell their parents that.



Yes it is, your beliefs are yours, and about your own actions. It is you not sharing a bed before you are married, not you forcing other people ot to. You are in fact changing what they do by pushing your beliefs on them.
Now it is a simple solution, I would just refuse to stay with you, and when family is visiting that is as much your loss as theirs.

Hilarious. We don't round up random couples on the street and force them into our guestrooms. Do you really think people close enough to come to stay here don't realize who we are and how we handle things? Certainly have been some friends and family members that choose to stay elsewhere, which is perfectly fine with all of us - no hard feelings.

 

[mummabear]

Hilarious. We don't round up random couples on the street and force them into our house. Do you really think people close enough to come to stay here don't realize who we are and how we handle things? Certainly there are some friends and family members that choose to stay elsewhere, which is perfectly fine with all of us - no hard feelings.

Yeah, there is no hard feelings between my husband and his grandmother as well, and yet she is the one who misses out time with her great grandchildren now as a result of her pushing her beliefs on other people.

Your beliefs are for you, not for you to control other peoples actions.

 

[disney junky]

No

 

[Floridaman999]

Yeah, there is no hard feelings between my husband and his grandmother as well, and yet she is the one who misses out time with her great grandchildren now as a result of her pushing her beliefs on other people.

Your beliefs are for you, not for you to control other peoples actions.

I think she should be allowed to control peoples actions in her own home. Why would you be against that?

 

[BLAZEY]

I was allowed to have a glass of wine with dinner at Thanksgiving and Christmas back as far as I can remember.
My kids were allowed the same.

Same here and any family holiday meal where the adults had wine, we were allowed a 1/2 glass as well. We still generally have a glass of wine with dinner at holidays. If my daughter were to ask (she's 10) i would allow her the same.

 

[tzolkin]

I think she should be allowed to control peoples actions in her own home. Why would you be against that?

I agree. There are situations where sometimes the host modifies their rules for the comfort of their guests and there are other situations where guests should modify their behavior to respect their host's wishes. For example, I have no problem whatsoever with people smoking, but I'm not going to allow anyone to smoke INSIDE my house just because they smoke in their own home.

 

[ChrisFL]

I don't have kids but when I was a kid, my parents let me drink like half a glass of Coors Light once..........now later in life I realize that it's practically water anyway!

 

[Klayfish]

I didn't realize there are situations where people under 21 could legally drink.

DW and I don't drink at all. It's not something that interests us, just don't see the attraction to it. However that's just our personal feeling. We recognize that our kids will make their own choices, so our feeling is to talk to them about being responsible and how to handle it should they choose to drink. We don't have alcohol in the house, so we'd have to buy it specifically to let our kids try it. When they are 16 or 17, if they express interest I wouldn't have a problem with buying a little wine and letting them taste it. I'd definitely pick wine, beer is so gross. Even in my quite rebellious youth, I could never drink the stuff.

 

[moon]

Must be related to Diswis, the 23 year old in settings who is 17 in posts and wants to go to Disney as a minor because they have spring break in February (and April) and school is already out for the summer.

OP, you have lived a pretty full life here on the DIS; married to a much older woman, raising a 15 year old, having gastric sleeve surgery in Mexico, subtle political statements with your favorite book...

Love summer vacation, lol. So entertaining when the kids start posting thinking they are funny.

And on the off chance this is actually real, yes, we have always let the teens drink with us. And as stated above, taking the novelty out of drinking, they never had any desire to binge drink at parties. They were usually the DD for their friends.

I will take my popcorn light butter, extra salt.

I have no idea if this is real or not, but I'm reminded of Keifer Sutherland, who at 19 married a woman in her 30s. She had a child who was 12 or 13 at the time, and he would refer to he as "my daughter". I thought that was so weird, both of them being teenagers. They had a baby together, and he seemed happy with his little family, but then he met Julia Roberts, and the rest is Hollywood history...