I need my Disney people who will understand my 1st world problems.

DH just says to plan it how I want to. Not helpful. LOL.
With the dates announced for the Halloween party, I need help! We will be on the San Diego
DCL Wonder cruise Oct. 14-18 with plans to go to
Disneyland afterwards 18-20. I was really hoping for a Friday night party! We're driving from the Bay Area, so if we were to go to the party on Sunday the 20th, we'd have to take an extra day off work to drive back on Monday the 21st.

It's hard for both DH & I to get that extra day off having been off the week prior, but possibly doable.
The other option is to reverse our plans and stay in Anaheim the weekend prior to the cruise, Oct 12-13. We had planned to spend that weekend in San Diego and Disney the following weekend, but could swap it. How bad is the drive from Anaheim to San Diego late Sunday night after a Halloween party or early-ish Monday morning with rush hour traffic? What would be your preference?