Grrrr....Teacher Vent

[declansdad]

Glad to hear it all worked out.

 

[RUDisney]

OP, it could be worse for your DS than just having a stupid teacher not wanting to use his true name. I was reading the paper today and saw an article about a professor dying in a Boise fire yesterday. It reminded me of the professor that insisted that my cousin remove his hat in his class.

Here's why I'm outraged by the prof's actions. My cousin had a cancerous tumor in the soft tissue between his scull and scalp several years ago. He had to have a balloon inserted under his scalp to grow the skin so he could have the cancer removed with enough skin to close the hole in his head.

When he was deemed cancer free, but still recovering from his surgery, his head was a mess. He wore a cowboy hat to cover (and hide) what was healing. His prof insisted that he remove his hat in class. All other profs were sympathetic to his situation and everyone was well informed at the school why he was wearing his hat. This professor didn't care. It was his classroom and his rules. My cousin told the prof where to get off and dropped his class.

Would this prof have made someone being treated for another type of cancer who lost his/her hair remove the scarf or hat from his/her head? Would he have made a woman with alopecia remove her head covering if it wasn't a conventional wig?

Some people get a little bit of authority and they lose all sense of what is right and wrong; compasionate and disrespectful.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm glad it got resolved quickly. Good for your DS and you!

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Way to go OP!

 

[Sandy V.]

Glad to hear it worked out, OP.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Even thought I ddin't see it to be a big issue, I am really glad it worked out.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

My son has a right to use the only name he's used for 14 years. I think that his desire to be addressed by his legal name outweighs the teacher's lame attempt at intimidation.

This is the first time in 14 years it has been an issue.

I do not think the teacher is trying to use intimidation. How old is the teacher? Some adults have always been taught you use your given name.

My brother's first name is John and he goes by his middle name. But in school he had teachers call him John. Not a big deal.
My own DD has always been called by a nickname. She had teachers call her by her given name no big deal. I asked her once if this upset her. She told me no.
I would let it go. It would not be worth the fight.

 

[Sandy V.]

I would let it go. It would not be worth the fight.

FYI; the OP talked to the teacher about calling the kid by the name he has always been called and the teacher said, "Okay, I will." So the "fight" is over and reasonableness won.

Many of us feel it would have been worth a bigger fight if the teacher gave pushback. I still do, and I would have had I been in the OP's shoes. Your name is your name.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

FYI; the OP talked to the teacher about calling the kid by the name he has always been called and the teacher said, "Okay, I will." So the "fight" is over and reasonableness won.

Many of us feel it would have been worth a bigger fight if the teacher gave pushback. I still do, and I would have had I been in the OP's shoes. Your name is your name.

I am glad it worked out. I was just posting my opion.

 

[Sandy V.]

I am glad it worked out. I was just posting my opion.

No worries!!

 

[Ariel Mae]

NOT! that would be beyond pathetic.

It would be...but it could happen.

 

[Ariel Mae]

Agreed! The parent can offer the college student advice, give them suggestions and encouragement, perhaps even role play a situation with them, but the student must deal with a Professor directly in college.

*Edit

See following statement/post

 

[Ariel Mae]

Sorry but a parent should not be involved in classroom issues for a child in college.

*Edit.

Perhaps it depends greatly on the situation you're trying to get involved with.

Example:

I'm not specificaly talking professors. I'm more speaking on a level of...say...Deans...or heads of a corporation, like the head of the food departnment, or Housing Head.

 

[Ariel Mae]

*Edit. I don't want to argue sementics.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

This has been such a helpful thread for me. We are expecting our second son in 2 months and had actually considered naming him in such a way that he would be called by his middle name. Now I know better!

 

[disneyeveryyear]

Did the teacher call him Storm today?

I am sure him calling you very early in the a.m. was another of his power plays. By not getting upset over this, you cut him off at the knees.

My DS's 3rd grade teacher called me one morning at 7:00 a.m. to let me know that even though I had sent in the form indicating that I didn't prefer for him to be in a looping classroom for 4th & 5th grades, that she felt it would be good for him. Since she was the 3rd grade teacher in charge of "grouping" the kids, he would be looped. I patiently explained my reasons to her and that looping was not in his best interest at this time. She ended the conversation with the information that she was going to the Intermediate School that day and would be recommending him for looping. You can bet your bootie that I called the principal as soon as the school opened for the day. (He didn't loop.) That wasn't me being a helicopter mom, that was me being an advocate.

 

[dimimi]

My father in law is in his 80's. When he was born he was called by his middle name. His entire life he has gone by R. Ron lastname. He has always been called Ron. His checks so R. Ron lastname, he signs his name on legal papers R. Ron lastname. This is not a big deal! I can't wait to hear what the teacher said today!

 

[dimimi]

Final update! This has been very interesting reading. I figured my little "get it off my chest" vent would get 2 responses than drop off the front page, so thanks for everyone's insight.

Mr. _________ called me back verrrry early this morning. I was polite as could be and said something along the lines of, "I know that Storm is an unusual name but it is a legal name and it is what he should be called." The response, "Ok, no problem." I didn't press the issue or accuse him of anything and then we chatted for a minute about the class.

I wish the teacher would have respected Storm's requests without me stepping in, but the bottom line is that some teachers feel that they need to assert themselves by trivializing the kids' concerns. It's much easier to blow off a 14 year old freshman than a parent. I called to make sure that this concern was addressed to my satisfaction and it was.

Great news! Sorry, I didn't see this before my last post. I'm glad it worked out. Three cheers for teachers...see...they really are reasonable.

 

[dogluva]

It's not like the teacher is giving the child a new name, he is calling him by his mother and father given FIRST NAME. Also I know in MA if a principal tried to tell a teacher to change a rule in his or her class, the teacher would have a union rep next to you in 2 seconds. That's a BIG no no here. I guess MA is one of those states that still believes that a teachers classroom is his/her on and what they want as long as it's not illegal, is the rule. I know my principal would tell the parent that the teacher has the final say. Otherwise when would the rants of angry parents stop?

I teach in MA. Principals do support the teachers. Trust me, I know this first hand as a teacher and as a parent. In my town, we have a very strong union.

 

[abandcsmom]

Update!

The teacher's response today when Storm said, "I go by my middle name, Storm," was:

"It's not that big of a deal."

Well, now it will be!

Haven't made it to the end yet. but if it's not that big a deal, why is the TEACHER making sucha big deal of it?