Good and Bad

[Andtototoo]

Every parent needs to be able to assess their child's ability to properly handle a 90 minute wait for a ride.

It's the parent's job to decide if the kid can handle it or not and if the answer is no, then the parent tells the kid too bad so sad. It's about deciding whether the kid can handle it properly -- by which I mean s/he needs to able to wait that long without annoying the bejeebers out of or hitting/poking/screaming at everyone around him or her.

That parental task is a necessity for all of us, regardless if the reason is that the kid is special needs, generally impatient, over-tired, over-heated, hungry, developmentally unable to handle such a long wait, unable to see personal space boundaries, two years old, what-have-you.

It's about being a PARENT and a socially-aware adult and therefore realizing that no one cares WHY my kid is annoying the bejeebers out of them, they just want it to stop. It would try the patience of anyone to be annoyed for 45 minutes (especially when you might be trying to handle your own kid, it's hot, etc). It's about realizing that the world does not revolve around my kid wanting to ride Pooh regardless of whether he or she can handle the wait. It's about being a PARENT, not about being the parent of a special needs kid.

 

[bedogged]

Kaewin, I am sympathetic to your situation, but couldn't you have just stood in front of your child with your spouse behind him so that the only person he could bump and disturb would be you or your spouse?

 

[Kaewin]

As a parent I had three children there not the single. I told my son to stop what he was doing from time to time but not each and every time. I sure that if I did I would be criticized for doing just that. But I had three kids there. One was eight the other ten. So tell me if your all magical world, since I see that none of you have done anything any time anyplace wrong, explain to my two daughters why they can't go on the line after waiting for forty minutes.

When I said to get a Dole Whip was not so my kid could misbehave but for you to relax. If you feel that dealing with children and from what I can tell none or your children at anytime do anything wrong. They eat all their food, never cry, laugh loud, play loud, fight with each other or anything. It was for you, or whoever to take a moment to relax and get away form all of the awful undisciplined heathens, like from what you people seem to tell me mine are. Go to a happy place.

I go to the park and I very aware of how people are and what there needs are I drive the same way. I figure people would be better if we all acted better and not judgemental. I was trying to offer support for some who let's her kids play on the rails when she is hot and needs a breathe but this has become about my child, so I will tell you all what. I have an extra room, if you are all knowing on how to raise my child and make him better so he can stand in line the exact way you want him then come and stay a while. If you think you can do a better job parenting him, and some of you sound if you could be better than I. PM me, I will give you my address and map quest directions for you to come here. I am a stay at home parent so you can watch all three so I can watch NCIS all the time to relax and check on my message boards. You can cook for them clean for them and take them places then need to go. Do the dishes, laundry, clean the house, feed the pets and so on. If you want to do all these things then I will let you tell me how to best parent my child. If you are not willing to do all of these things for at least a few days then DON'T FOR ANY REASON THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME HOW TO PARENT MY CHILD OR HOW IT CAN BE DONE BETTER.

Disney, these boards and outside places would be better if people didn't feel they have the right to pass judgement on people and say what they will. We all need to learn to work together and be together to create harmony. But don't think that you sitting at a computer with you using an alias, hiding behind a computer screen that your prejudices are any better than someone else. It is easy to be anonymous where you never see or meet. Makes people feel better about themselves. Just think though there is something you do here, at Disney and elsewhere that people, who know nothing about you but what they see in brief are judging you too. First people ganged up on a young lady about her kids and when I stepped in to defend her you started attacking me like rabid animals. I noticed a person has stepped in to defend me, is she next? Is it easier to just say something and run.

Don't be a problem, be part of the solution. Mostly I hang out elsewhere on the boards but everytime I pop my head to this section I see one of these type of topics. I tell myself to not look but I can't learn and I see some poor person getting badgered. Happens every time without fail. Given time, maybe Thursday maybe this weekend another will appear. They all become the same way. What surprises me the most is the Mods let this go one as long as it happens. Be above that. Don't feel that because someone is being kicked around you have to do the same. That is why the country is the way it is because we are not part of the solution just part of the problem.

 

[homeschoolmomof4]

Reading back through the posts, it seems that Kaewin encouraged the child to stop, but did not do anything to make sure the child stopped. And also said that if anyone was annoyed by being bumped into, it's their problem and to go have a Dole Whip.

Read it again my friend:

If they keep banging into you then say something and complain if they are not breathe in, smell the air enjoy the pixie dust and be calm. This is not the end of your vacation nor theirs. If you are upset after you get off a ride walk up to the guy selling Mickey ice cream or get a Dole Whip, it will then go away.

He's not saying to suck it up and get a Dole Whip. He's says if there's not any banging into you going on, then relax. It's not worth ruining your vacation over.

Now reread his massive post.

Kaewin's child was hanging onto a railing and talking to himself and the railing. He bumped into the gentleman in front of him, Kaewin apologized and kept a boundary between his child and others. Sounds like decent parenting to me.

 

[HWY20RIDE4MYSON]

I think its funny how some so called ADULTS point the finger at the kids who are allready excited about being at WDW for being to hyper.... Yes I agree if it gets out of control then it reverts to bad parenting, but come on people are you really that great that you complain about kids being hyper, or burning off energy while standing in line to a child oriented ride to begin with??? Maybe you shouldn't ride it and sit outside .. Its WDW not Military School, if you cant handle kids wanting to be kids then go hang out some where else....

 

[Yellosno]

I dont see why people get so upset over kids and something they were not even evolved in... Kids will do things that annoy adults the ADULT thing to do is not really care for more than 5 seconds and enjoy your vacation and let everyone have a good time.

 

[HWY20RIDE4MYSON]

I dont see why people get so upset over kids and something they were not even evolved in... Kids will do things that annoy adults the ADULT thing to do is not really care for more than 5 seconds and enjoy your vacation and let everyone have a good time.

 

[Kaewin]

Thank you all.




Can we get down to the Good part?

Last time I was there in Nov, I went to get a GAC for my son and the woman who helped me out came up to me and game me some FastPasses to the 3pm parade. I thanked her and we wandered through the park and the kids and I decided that we were not going to see the parade when a couple with small grade school age kids walk by, they were going to find a spot for the parade. Not to have them go to waste I gave the five passes to them and told them where to go to get the good spot. they were very thankful and it felt good to do something nice for them.

Also I have been awarded fast passes twice and handed them off to people with teens,

 

[HWY20RIDE4MYSON]

Thank you all.




Can we get down to the Good part?

Last time I was there in Nov, I went to get a GAC for my son and the woman who helped me out came up to me and game me some FastPasses to the 3pm parade. I thanked her and we wandered through the park and the kids and I decided that we were not going to see the parade when a couple with small grade school age kids walk by, they were going to find a spot for the parade. Not to have them go to waste I gave the five passes to them and told them where to go to get the good spot. they were very thankful and it felt good to do something nice for them.

Also I have been awarded fast passes twice and handed them off to people with teens,

 

[Robindianne]

The family and I went to Disney in 2005 just a couple days before the 31st. It was so crowded that we all had to stick close and I made sure my son was right next to me. Lines were long but we made our way to the Winnie the Pooh ride and saw the line was about 90 minutes but my son wanted to see it so we stood in line. Now he is not the best line waiter and he stood well for a couple minutes and then got fidgety about it. Ten minutes he was playing on rails and chains but I just let him go. Sometimes he would bump people and I would remind him not to do this. He tried a couple times to get ahead of us and I pulled him back just being patent. No swearing, no yelling just "Kevin, could you calm down buddy."

After about 45 minutes the man in front of me turned around and said "If your son can't behave you need to take him out of this line and go somewhere ekse until he can." I was stunned, this guy didn't know me or my son. I looked him in the eye and sai ."I'm sorry, my son is autistic. If you want to your son can have autism and I can stand in whatever line you want me in which I would be glad too. But if you think you can do better..." He got a funny look, glanced at Kevin, mumbled an apology and turned around and said nothing to us until at the end when he told us to have a good trip.


It is easy for some people with children, or without any to say a child should or should not do in the parks but sometimes they might have a special need or some sort so let it go. Not all kids can "got to a play place and run it off." that just doesn't work. you payed your money and they did too, give them a break. Parents with special needs like a moment to relax too. The need can be autism, aspbergers, downs of just adhd. It id neither the parents noor the child's fault. And if you think they should


Then you have no idea what that really means, that is a mind and personality altering drug. It takes them from who they are and makes them someone else. I am schizophrenic and I take things much stronger than that, it alters me, the way I think, the actions I take and how I Live. If you don't take these things they you have on way or reason to judge.

just let the kids have their hand holds and rails if it makes wait easier to them and others. You do not want to be next to children that are real bored for a half and hour wait, it is not worth it. Also telling the parent to leave is also not right. They paid to get in just like you, their kids want to be there just like yours. If they keep banging into you then say something and complain if they are not breathe in, smell the air enjoy the pixie dust and be calm. This is not the end of your vacation nor theirs. If you are upset after you get off a ride walk up to the guy selling Mickey ice cream or get a Dole Whip, it will then go away.

Special ed teacher here. Can I just say You are my hero!

 

[si-am]

Now reread his massive post.

Kaewin's child was hanging onto a railing and talking to himself and the railing. He bumped into the gentleman in front of him, Kaewin apologized and kept a boundary between his child and others. Sounds like decent parenting to me.

Well not to split hairs, but that isn't exactly how it was described. Unless if by saying "Kaewin apologized," you mean "Kaewin told the guy 'my kid is autistic, suck it up.'"

The family and I went to Disney in 2005 just a couple days before the 31st. It was so crowded that we all had to stick close and I made sure my son was right next to me. Lines were long but we made our way to the Winnie the Pooh ride and saw the line was about 90 minutes but my son wanted to see it so we stood in line. Now he is not the best line waiter and he stood well for a couple minutes and then got fidgety about it. Ten minutes he was playing on rails and chains but I just let him go. Sometimes he would bump people and I would remind him not to do this. He tried a couple times to get ahead of us and I pulled him back just being patent. No swearing, no yelling just "Kevin, could you calm down buddy."

After about 45 minutes the man in front of me turned around and said "If your son can't behave you need to take him out of this line and go somewhere ekse until he can." I was stunned, this guy didn't know me or my son. I looked him in the eye and sai ."I'm sorry, my son is autistic. If you want to your son can have autism and I can stand in whatever line you want me in which I would be glad too. But if you think you can do better..." He got a funny look, glanced at Kevin, mumbled an apology and turned around and said nothing to us until at the end when he told us to have a good trip.

 

[Robindianne]

My brothers autistic.

Having grown up with it, I know how autism works and behaviour can still be controlled. If there was a risk my kids would irritate people to that extent, I wouldn't inflict them on the general public.

Surely you've heard the quote, "You know a kid with autism; you know one kid with autism." It's manifests differently for every single person. Saying you grew up with it so you know how it works is like saying you grew up with a child so you know how they work.

The thing about growing up with someone on the spectrum is it OUGHT to make you more empathetic.

Have a nice day. Be kinder than necessary. You never know what battles others are fighting.

 

[jojomoore]

i saw a mother washing streams of diarrhoea off her child's legs in a splash pad last week. Seriously...

The area had to be closed, hand washed and sanitised.

oh my!

 

[Kaewin]

Well not to split hairs, but that isn't exactly how it was described. Unless if by saying "Kaewin apologized," you mean "Kaewin told the guy 'my kid is autistic, suck it up.'"

Everytime Kevin bumped him I said I was sorry. But when he got rude to me, and he did I said what I said. I have on many occasions when people would stare or whisper about my son acting out I have invited them to come closer and get a better view. Some people feel it;s ok to be rude on their part but when it is turned back at them it is not so cool. Like I said it is not always apparent to why the child acts the way they do. Feeling justified for being rude opens it up right back at you. If you choose to react in a rude manner expect the same. He got a nasty tone at me and I put it right back at him. There are nice ways to do it. Don't expect someone who gets a nasty attitude thrown at them to be kind and meek back. Go to a Walmart and shop, after you leave tell me how fun that was. People are rude that work there and it rubs off on the costumers which rubs off on the workers which rubs off on the customers and so on. Don't be a part and break the cycle, stop it if you can.

 

[DizzDoll]

Everytime Kevin bumped him I said I was sorry. But when he got rude to me, and he did I said what I said. I have on many occasions when people would stare or whisper about my son acting out I have invited them to come closer and get a better view. Some people feel it;s ok to be rude on their part but when it is turned back at them it is not so cool. Like I said it is not always apparent to why the child acts the way they do. Feeling justified for being rude opens it up right back at you. If you choose to react in a rude manner expect the same. He got a nasty tone at me and I put it right back at him. There are nice ways to do it. Don't expect someone who gets a nasty attitude thrown at them to be kind and meek back. Go to a Walmart and shop, after you leave tell me how fun that was. People are rude that work there and it rubs off on the costumers which rubs off on the workers which rubs off on the customers and so on. Don't be a part and break the cycle, stop it if you can.

A few years ago my kids and I were in the standby line for Big Thunder and there was a large family with one antsy small boy in the group. As we were plodding along the little guy was swinging off the handrail and kicking into me, bumping into me, etc. The parents kept telling the little guy to get off the rail. The final time he kicked me I asked him if his little arms and legs were tired from all that flailing about and did he need a piggyback ride. Cracked the family up. There are ways and there are WAYS of handling children and annoying situations. Sometimes ya gotta turn it around and play with the kid.

 

[Robindianne]

A few years ago my kids and I were in the standby line for Big Thunder and there was a large family with one antsy small boy in the group. As we were plodding along the little guy was swinging off the handrail and kicking into me, bumping into me, etc. The parents kept telling the little guy to get off the rail. The final time he kicked me I asked him if his little arms and legs were tired from all that flailing about and did he need a piggyback ride. Cracked the family up. There are ways and there are WAYS of handling children and annoying situations. Sometimes ya gotta turn it around and play with the kid.

Awe What a kind wonderful memory you made for that child.

 

[Logic]

It's in threads like these where I am glad I have been to the parks enough to where I can just enjoy being there. It's nice to not have to be in a rush to see everything, and being able to relax.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

Like what you said Robindianne: Have a nice day. Be kinder than necessary. You never know what battles others are fighting.

Special Education Teacher too

 

[Epeyon]

Everytime Kevin bumped him I said I was sorry. But when he got rude to me, and he did I said what I said. I have on many occasions when people would stare or whisper about my son acting out I have invited them to come closer and get a better view. Some people feel it;s ok to be rude on their part but when it is turned back at them it is not so cool. Like I said it is not always apparent to why the child acts the way they do. Feeling justified for being rude opens it up right back at you. If you choose to react in a rude manner expect the same. He got a nasty tone at me and I put it right back at him. There are nice ways to do it. Don't expect someone who gets a nasty attitude thrown at them to be kind and meek back. Go to a Walmart and shop, after you leave tell me how fun that was. People are rude that work there and it rubs off on the costumers which rubs off on the workers which rubs off on the customers and so on. Don't be a part and break the cycle, stop it if you can.

1. Put yourself in that man's position. You're in line for an attraction, you're excited, prepared for a bit of waiting, but hey that's part of Disney. And all of a sudden behind you comes this "weird" kid, he's antsy he's hyper he's swinging from the rails. He keeps bumping into you every so often. At first you put up with it, kids will be kids. You hear the parent ask him to calm down. But to no effect. If you didn't know that the child had autism or assume so, you would probably have the same rude reaction. A simple "I apologize for my son, he has autism, these waits are killer to him." Would have done a lot better than shaming the man. In fact he might've tried to have interacted and occupied your son.

2. In the future keep in mind allowing your son to hang from the rails/ropes/chains is unsafe. While they might look sturdy quite often they will break, they will snap, they will be slippery. More kids than anybody would like to count have been injured when a rope slips open or a clip breaks.

3. You said you were a stay at home parent, I assume there's another one in the picture. Couldn't one of you have stayed with your daughters, and the other taken your son out of the line?

4. I sympathize with your situation, having a child with any sort of special needs is difficult, doubly so when it's not readily apparent. I don't think anybody is saying it's easy, or they could do it better. Mostly it's a lack of knowledge, so calm down and explain to people why certain things won't work, it will help your son and others with ASD a lot more than getting angry at anybody who says anything the least bit offensive.



Good:

People are still all about the Disney spirit and enjoying their time. You can see the magic is still alive in their eyes.

We remember the bad things, which means they're not so prevalent they're expected.

Bad:

People have learned Disney's solution to most problems is "Blame the CM! Give the guest what they want!"

People have lost their sense of humor, their sense of taking everything in stride. Early somebody mentioned a monorail pilot telling their husband "That's a handrail not a butt rail! Get down!" Well while the second part needs a please, chances are they were far away, and that's a quick way to get somebody's attention and defuse any tension.

 

[HWY20RIDE4MYSON]

I still can't figure out what's worse? A hyper child... or some of the Cry Baby adults on here.... It's hot, the kids are hyped on Mickey, and the lines are long..
As long as there is no bodily harm, Fluids, or obsene language. Get over it and enjoy your vacation......I don't condone bad parenting either, the child should be put in check if it gets out of control.