Going on a trip without your kids?

[tinkerbelletreasure]

Go for it! We went last August with just my daughter as a graduation trip, but it was also to see if we thought our sons who are both on the spectrum could handle masks and covid procedures. This year, they are going and she’s not because she’s got a job and life away from us. And in September if Disneyland is allowing out of state visitors, DH and I are going for 3 days alone for my birthday. We’ve been alone twice already when work took me to LA. Parents shouldn’t be made to feel guilty if they vacation without the kids from time to time. I’m divorced, so my kids stay with their dad when we go out of town alone and vice versa, but we both try to take the boys every other year, on opposite years, so they are still getting to go pretty much yearly. Though covid threw a big wrench in the plans last year.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Hi all! I might get jumped on for this.... But....

I would really like to go on an anniversary trip next year with just my husband. We haven't been since before we had kids. Kids would be 3 and 4.5 next year when I want to go. To be completely honest, taking kids that young to Disney world sounds like the trip from hell and we for sure want to take them in a few years when they are a bit older. Has anyone gone to Disney world without their very young (whiny ) kids? Great trip? Regrets? Please share

I would love to go to WDW with just my husband and myself, especially for our anniversary (we got married at WDW). We never lived close to family, still don't, so didn't have anyone ever to watch our daughter. If you have someone to watch your kids, do it. I would in a heartbeat.

 

[saraheliz]

No, but I've left the youngest kid at home twice (two different kids). First trip with my oldest I left my just about 1 year old home with dad and took her with grandma. Then a couple of years ago I left the youngest (2) home and took big sisters (8/10). We had an amazing trip and were able to do so much more/stress less just having the older kids. Dad was fine with it and preferred staying home to bringing a 1-2 year old with us. There is fun to be had with kids at any age at Disney but it's also fine to have some adult time.

 

[JRennie]

No, but I've left the youngest kid at home twice (two different kids). First trip with my oldest I left my just about 1 year old home with dad and took her with grandma. Then a couple of years ago I left the youngest (2) home and took big sisters (8/10). We had an amazing trip and were able to do so much more/stress less just having the older kids. Dad was fine with it and preferred staying home to bringing a 1-2 year old with us. There is fun to be had with kids at any age at Disney but it's also fine to have some adult time.

My kids would be 3 and 4 when we wanted to go, and taking them to Disney at that age sounds like hell on earth to me. I'm sure lots of people do it, but not for me. We want to take them when they are 5&6 and can actually do things and stay up past 630 pm

 

[tinkerjo]

DH and I went for our 25th anniversary by ourselves and did not take the kids. (The youngest was about 7) but my kids have been to Disney many times and we were planning a trip later that year with them otherwise I would have felt guilty the entire trip, as it was I was only guilty 1/2 the trip I have been taking my kids since they were babies and even though we had a great trip by ourselves, it wasn’t the same as seeing it through your child’s eyes. Our best Disney memories revolve around our kids. I remember waiting for rope drop at MK when DS5 tells me he knows now why it’s called the happiest place on earth, DD doing BBB, DS crying because daddy couldn’t work at Disney, my DS fighting Darth Vader, ( I have a lot of boys) and many other memories that I will forever cherish. I can’t imagine any trip with my kids being hell on earth. If you want a couples trip to Disney, take it and enjoy. Everyone deserves to celebrate an anniversary kid free. It just made me feel sad that that you felt taking your kids would be such an awful trip. They may surprise you, and there are lots of great tips on here from some very experienced Disers

 

[LSUmiss]

It’s a nice idea in theory, but no way I could do it especially since DS loves wdw & Disney so much. I would spend the whole trip missing him especially seeing all the things I know he would love. But, as far as taking kids that young, DS has been going since he was 6 mos old.

 

[sponica]

Back when I was going to get APs, I had factored in adults trips as part of my justification. I want to go to Food and Wine and ENJOY food and wine without a 1 year old and 5 year old (or a 2 yr old and 6 yr old). We have a family trip scheduled for Flower and Garden, but if I can get an adults F&W I'm all for that.

Also after the past year, I've spent enough time with my kids. I love them but not 24/7...

 

[PHXscuba]

Adult Disney trips can also be good to look around and see what your children would like to do, especially if it's been years since you've been. Seeing things through the eyes of a parent is very different than before.

Years ago, DH and I ended up at Disney World on short notice (another trip fell through and we had vacation time, a sitter, and airline credit). We spent much of the time talking about what we would do with the kids there on a future trip. Three years later we all went (youngest was 6 by then). My kids actually don't mind us traveling without them -- if we end up loving a place they've found it increases their chances of going back as a family!

And I am a firm believer that for a strong marriage there should be both family trips and mom-and-dad-only trips too.

PHXscuba

 

[LSUmiss]

Adult Disney trips can also be good to look around and see what your children would like to do, especially if it's been years since you've been. Seeing things through the eyes of a parent is very different than before.

Years ago, DH and I ended up at Disney World on short notice (another trip fell through and we had vacation time, a sitter, and airline credit). We spent much of the time talking about what we would do with the kids there on a future trip. Three years later we all went (youngest was 6 by then). My kids actually don't mind us traveling without them -- if we end up loving a place they've found it increases their chances of going back as a family!

And I am a firm believer that for a strong marriage there should be both family trips and mom-and-dad-only trips too.

PHXscuba

I think it can depend too. DH & I were married for 12 years & together for 20 before we had DS. We went on plenty trips just us through the years. Now that we have DS, we both agree we only go on family trips. We really don’t miss doing adult only things on trips b/c we did that for years before him.

 

[flipflop]

I have both gone with 3 year olds (triplets! - and then again at 4 and other ages) and done it alone with spouse/friends while leaving kids home. Going alone as adults is a totally different experience and it seems this year with limited character interactions, etc for the little ones, is a great year to do that. My husband doesn't love disney so we do tend to go other places without kids now. That said I love a disney adult trip (and am going with my bestie for food and wine without my teens/dh this fall). Completely different vibe than a trip with kids.

 

[ktlm]

When DD was 2, I had a business trip near DL so I took DH with me and we went without her. We had a great time, but we spent the whole day talking about how much she would love it. So--- the day after we got home, I booked a WDW trip to take her later that same year.

DD is 15. We have been to WDW or DL or both with her every year since she was 2 except for 2020. My absolute favorite trips were the ones where she was age 2 -5. Everything was real and amazing to her and she was better behaved there than at home. She loved the characters and got so excited when she saw them. She was tall enough for most of the rides by age 4- and at that age was not scared of the "big rides" and loved them and wanted to ride them multiple times- Test Track, Space Mountain etc . At age 6-8 she was suddenly terrified of all the "big" rides she had loved when she was 4-5. She refused to set foot on Test Track, Big Thunder, Space Mountain etc. They were all suddenly too fast or too scary. She wouldn't even get on Barnstormer at age 6, and at age 3 at a MVMCP- she had ridden it 14 times in a row without getting off as there was no line (she has a frequent flier certificate from that night LOL) ---- I couldn't take it after 12, but DH made it 2 more - and then she was really mad when we dragged her off it at 11:45 p.m. because the park was getting ready to close at midnight. I didn't get her back on some of the big rides until she was 10 or 11. Age 6-8 were what I would call the whiny trips and my least favorite (although still good). At age 2-5 we could wheel her around in a stroller and get places fast and if she was tired she could just fall asleep in the stroller- and there were no issues of her feet being tired or her being tired etc. At ages 6-7 particularly- she was too big for the stroller but too small to have the endurance for an open to close day of walking at Disney- she was a little better by 8 and by 9 things were pretty much good again. But that 6-7 range (and maybe 8- I can't remember for sure) drove me nuts--- lots of complaining about being tired, feet hurting from walking so much, hot, etc. More complaining than any other age. 6, 7 and maybe 8 were our least magical trips. 2-5 were my absolute favorite. 9-13-- were great...except for the Hurricane...but you don't have the absolute sense of wonder you do in those pre-school years. By the time they hit kindergarten or first grade the kids with older siblings start "enlightening" them on reality. They still love it-- but it isn't that total wonder you get from ages 2-5 when everything is completely real. I call those age 2-5 trips our "magical" trips. I wouldn't give those up for anything--- they are my absolute favorite-- I wish I could go back and experience it with that age child again. Just something to think about.


That isn't to say an adult only trip would be bad. It may be what is right for you. You might love it. It is your anniversary too and it would be a great anniversary trip- and you said you really want to go. Plus-- if your kids are ambivalent to Disney maybe it would not be that big a deal. At age 2-3- mine was a Disney obsessed holy terror--- she was so much better behaved at Disney than at home I would have liked to have lived there. Once she had been once-- if we ever went without her-- I know I would still be hearing about it when she is 40 years old. I will tell you that my cousin's parents went on an adult only WDW trip when she was kid and left her home----- and for the next 35 years she brought it up and complained about it to them and everyone else who would listen every chance she got. I'm sure DH and I will have adult only trips once DD has left for college. When I think back to my childhood, what I remember most are the family vacations and how much fun we had. I want that for her too. I'm so glad we had those Disney trips when she was a toddler-- at age 15 she still remembers a lot of specific things from those trips. I am really starting to feel how little time we have left before she leaves for college-- it goes too fast. Really..... maybe it depends on whether you will get there and be able to have a fantastic time and focus on the 2 of you -- or whether you will spend your time thinking about how much they would love it there and feeling a little guilty. If you are just going to spend the time feeling guilty and wishing they were there- might as well bring them. If not- maybe an adult trip would be fun.

 

[LDunks]

My husband and I went alone when my twins were 15 months, because Disney was our happy place pre-kids, and yes, taking two 15-month-olds felt like it'd be a nightmare to us.

It was so nice to reconnect in our favorite place. We spent time on the trip talking about bringing them one day, but not in a sad way like they were missing out, more that we were so excited for the future.

Absolutely, take a vacation that you're excited about and looking forward to, and not one that others think you should. If that means leaving the littles at home this time, do it! You'll have a great time!

 

[Wendysofftoneverland]

We've been taking my oldest since he was 11 months old and the youngest since she was 12 weeks old. It is definitely a different trip than before kids. We live far from family though, and my kids (age 5 and 2.5) can't handle spending the night without me or my husband (I've only had 2 childfree overnights in the past 5 years). So a child-free vacation isn't something I can consider. However, one of my favorite trips involved my parents coming along. They preferred hanging out at Ft. Wilderness to going to the parks, so it was nice to enjoy the Food and Wine Festival and go to Magic Kingdom and ride Space Mountain with my husband while my son was with grandma and grandpa. It was the best of both worlds, since we took my son to the parks in the morning and afternoon.

 

[CaleCakes]

My opinion is no I would not. I would not go on any trip without my children. I haven't been away from DD3 ever and only 1 night for DS5 which was the night DD3 was born. I had children to enjoy every moment with them and to experience things through their eyes. We go on many adventures big and small and each one of them have made wonderful memories that they talk about constantly. Of course when they were younger traveling wasn't always easy but that adds to the adventure (like the time our flight was cancelled and we drove 27 hours straight to get to the port for a cruise that was leaving with or without us, or the time taxing out on the runway a quiet plane erupts in laughter because my then 3 year old shouted that he had to go #2). They are at an age now where they understand the expectations are to have fun, be safe, and listen, and if they can't do that then we leave. I couldn't imagine going on a trip without them I would miss them too much. I would feel very guilty them knowing I was at Disney (or anywhere) without them. We all go or we don't go at all. I also think about if I was away without them and something happened how I would never forgive myself for not being available. Of course this is a long shot but you just never know. As far as time with just my husband, we don't need that. We don't need a week away from the life we created together to reconnect. That seems more like a nightmare than bringing toddlers to Disney. If you think they are too young to go and would somehow ruin the trip you should probably hold off. I am waiting for my kiddos to get older to revisit places DH and I went before they were born so they can appreciate them more and experience them fully (like Alaska for example).

I'm not trying to guilt you into a decision, and I know lots of people who do go on vacation without their kids. This is just my opinion since you asked. I am curious though why you think taking them would be a nightmare. Do you feel they are not well behaved enough, and if so can you practice with shorter adventures to say the zoo or local amusement park? Kids have meltdowns at Disney all the time. It's probably one of the few places where is totally normal and no one bats an eye. It's how you handle it that would set the mood for the trip.

 

[MudQueen22]

We have never been to WDW without the kids, but that is something we would like to do in the future if we can schedule two trips in one year with dh and I getting APs. (One for just the two of us, and one for all of us.)

I really think that the optimal time to visit WDW for a child is between 4-8. I think the most magical trip for each of my kids was at about ages 4 or 5. When they are younger, they didn't quite understand (although it was still enjoyable for them), and when older it was magical, but not at the magic level of the 4-5 year old range. You do have to pace yourselves, use strollers, and manage expectations, but WDW with young children is absolutely magical.

Having said that, I'm of the opinion that taking couples-only trips and/or having date nights would count as investing in the marriage. We don't get as many dates as we used to get, and we even have to schedule them in advance. We also schedule anniversary trips every few years so that we can just be together and rekindle things.

Even when life is good and you're getting along well, everyday life can wear on a marriage. Take the couple's trip.

 

[dez1978]

Speaking as someone who has 3 grown adult children. Time goes by too fast to go to Disney without them. You really have less than 18 years to enjoy going with them. You have the rest of your lives to enjoy it without them. It's not really a nightmare, you are making memories. You will sit together and smile when looking back at the times you went with them. You'll laugh at the ice cream all over the stroller. You'll laugh at the melt downs when trying to get a good picture, but you'll still have that picture. It's time with your little ones you will never get back. I went so often with my kids, that my husband got tired of the parks. My kids literally grew up going. We lived, and still all do, just under 3 hours. I can't tell you what to do, I can just give you a different perspective. Time goes by too fast to enjoy Disney without your kids.

I think we all know that we will miss this someday. It is still 100% ok to want some time away from your kids. There is lots of time left to take those kids and make those memories. You know what else you don't get back? Time with your spouse. It goes both ways. I get so frustrated with this whole "you'll miss this one day" thing whenever moms want some time away from their kids, or complain about something their kids are doing. We all know kids will grow up. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to want some kid free time. Kid free time makes me a better parent and allows me to enjoy my time with them so much more when I have a little time to decompress.

Also please know this is not aimed specifically at you. It's just theres an abundance of mom shaming lately on social media about how you must be awful if you don't enjoy every single moment of parenthood and want to spend every waking moment with your children. I feel like it's important that moms know it's not ok to love every moment of parenthood and to need some time away. Its ok to think taking kids somewhere would be a nightmare. It's ok if not everything you do revolves around your kids. It doesn't make you a bad mom. And yes, one day we'll look back and miss the late night snuggles, or laugh at the tantrums. But there are def parts I will not ever miss, and that is ok too.

 

[JRennie]

I think we all know that we will miss this someday. It is still 100% ok to want some time away from your kids. There is lots of time left to take those kids and make those memories. You know what else you don't get back? Time with your spouse. It goes both ways. I get so frustrated with this whole "you'll miss this one day" thing whenever moms want some time away from their kids, or complain about something their kids are doing. We all know kids will grow up. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to want some kid free time. Kid free time makes me a better parent and allows me to enjoy my time with them so much more when I have a little time to decompress.

Also please know this is not aimed specifically at you. It's just theres an abundance of mom shaming lately on social media about how you must be awful if you don't enjoy every single moment of parenthood and want to spend every waking moment with your children. I feel like it's important that moms know it's not ok to love every moment of parenthood and to need some time away. Its ok to think taking kids somewhere would be a nightmare. It's ok if not everything you do revolves around your kids. It doesn't make you a bad mom. And yes, one day we'll look back and miss the late night snuggles, or laugh at the tantrums. But there are def parts I will not ever miss, and that is ok too.

Thanks for this! I feel like just because I choose to spend 5 days away from my children doesn't make me a "bad mom" like some of the responses imply. It's our ten year anniversary and I want to spend some time with just my hubby while my kids get to go to grandma and grandpas House and get spoiled. My Dad passed away a while back and my mom has so many regrets about things they waited to do, I'm not going to have those regrets.

 

[dez1978]

Thanks for this! I feel like just because I choose to spend 5 days away from my children doesn't make me a "bad mom" like some of the responses imply. It's our ten year anniversary and I want to spend some time with just my hubby while my kids get to go to grandma and grandpas House and get spoiled. My Dad passed away a while back and my mom has so many regrets about things they waited to do, I'm not going to have those regrets.

Yes! It's not like your kids are getting neglected or are getting sent to some random baby sitter for a week. You know they will be happy and loved and well taken care of while you are gone. There is nothing wrong with wanting time away from them. I think most moms if they were honest, want some time away. Doesn't mean we love them any less. For what it's worth, I didn't take my boys to disney until they were 5&7 because like you, it sounded like a nightmare. Overstimulated, hot tired kids, waiting in lines, needing naps etc. And heck, my oldest was awful in the car any longer than an hour until he was 4. No way a flight would have been any fun for anyone.

We are not guaranteed time with anyone, be it spouses, parents or children. It's just as important to have that time with your husband as it is with your kids.

 

[dez1978]

Thanks for this! I feel like just because I choose to spend 5 days away from my children doesn't make me a "bad mom" like some of the responses imply. It's our ten year anniversary and I want to spend some time with just my hubby while my kids get to go to grandma and grandpas House and get spoiled. My Dad passed away a while back and my mom has so many regrets about things they waited to do, I'm not going to have those regrets.

And I am going on a moms trip to Universal studios in December with 3 other moms and no kids or husbands, and while I will miss my kids, I will not miss telling them to be quiet in the hotel, to quit fighting or whatever other thing one single bit, and neither will any of my friends. I will 100% enjoy sitting in the sun drinking a margarita, peacefully, finishing a meal without having to take someone to the bathroom or cleaning up a spilled drink, and getting to check out all the sights and stores without rushing because of my kids. And when I get back, I will appreciate what I have at home that much more because I got a little time away. Dad is perfectly capable of taking care of them and dealing with any emergency that may arise in my absence.

 

[LadybugsMum]

Thanks for this! I feel like just because I choose to spend 5 days away from my children doesn't make me a "bad mom" like some of the responses imply.

It's important that adults be able to do things - fun things! - without their kids. I'm a single mom and as I said farther up, I would love to do a solo trip. I could ride all of the roller coasters my kids won't ride. I could go to restaurants that appeal to just me and not have to make sure there's something on the menu that each kid will eat (and of course they won't eat the same items ).