Goin off the rails on a crazy train....(UPDATE pg 2)

[Hagred]

TOV, I'm feeling badly for what you're going through, but I'm heartened by the fact that you're going to call your doctor tomorrow. All of this has to be overwhelming to you.

A word of advice, for whatever its worth:

Don't argue your cost of living or living style with people on a BB who really couldn't care less. You won't win and it'll only add to your already over-stressed life. The only judgement you should be worried about is that of your family.

What you need to concentrate on now is taking care of yourself so you can take care of your family. Make the call to the doctor, do what you can to lower your stress level and stop trying to reason with people who can't be reasoned with.

I'll be praying for you.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

do what you can to lower your stress level and stop trying to reason with people who can't be reasoned with

Good advice LL, I think I'll follow it.

 

[Celluloidgal]

I agree with Hagred.

Go to your MD first. There will be time to deal with all this other cr*p later.

PS - I live in Fort Worth. I've been driving since I was 15 and even I'm scared of Dallas traffic!!!

 

[Celluloidgal]

Oh, yeah...

Thought you might find these sites useful:

http://www.postpartum.net/

http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/baby/emotrecovery/3374

Please take care & let us know what your doc thinks.

 

[Ragmop]

Honestly, I can't imagine being on my feet for 8 hours at a food court and then go home and be with a new baby. That's got to be very tough. Before i had my first i gave myself a "demotion" at work and went back to the drafting board because i knew I could work from home doing this.

 

[Keli]

Ok, this is unlike me and I'm sure I'm otta line here but...
You need to
1.) Get under a dr.s care for your depression/anxiety (or whatever the actual condition is, your dr will be able to help you) first thing. You have to be trustworthy with your ds, to protect and care for him and certainly to not hurt him.
2.) After number one is taken care of you need to learn to drive on freeways. I know it's hard for you, probably seems like it's nearly impossible but it's not and you can do it.

Right now you are living in an unacceptable condition and you shouldn't just hunker down and endure it. You need to be proactive and take care of these problems because they could have long lasting effects on you and your dh and ds.

One other suggestion I have is after your dr has helped you get your control back, speak to your DMIL and see if she would be willing to drive your ds home one or two days a week when you know your dh will be working really late. That would be a stopgap measure to help the problem of not seeing your ds enough while you are working on learning to drive on the freeway.

I rarely, if ever give anyone this kind of specific advice and I'm not at all sure you want to hear it now but there it is for what it's worth.

 

[Celluloidgal]

TheOtherVillianess-

Any updates? Were you able to go to the doctor? My DH & I have been thinking of you.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

I agree- try to find something you can change to make things better. I agree with talking with your dr too- but it sounds like to me SOMETHING has to change for you to feel better and things to get less stressful for you/etc.

That could be selling the vehicle so you're able to quit your job.
Or it could be learning to drive on the freeway.
Or it could just be that DH gets a 2nd job so you can quit yours.
I agree with others- this sounds like a LOT of stress on you for a near minimum wage job... it's not worth it. If it came down to that for us- my DH would get a 2nd job before having me work that near minimum wage job. I wasn't always a SAHM, but when I worked I was working for better pay than HE was making back then (even though he worked 2 jobs back then)- but once he made more money and I became a SAHM -if things got rough now where I'd have to get a minimum, or near minimum, wage job to make it- he'd get a 2nd job before we did that. No doubt about it. Not if it was a situation where I was that stressed out and couldn't change other things like learning to drive on the freeway, using a closer babysitter, etc.

The only time I've worked since having children that was at the near minimum wage income (or atleast much less than I'd made before when previously working) was opposite shifts as my husband... therefore the babies were always at home either with me, or him. I imagine it has to be very stressful to work, be tired as a new mother who's working AND rarely see the baby due to inability to drive to get him and being dependent on him coming home with daddy only whenever daddy gets off work.... sometimes late.

 

[goofygirl]

TOV/UDB:



I TRIED to warn you when you said you were changing your mind about wanting kids, and I tried to tell you to rethink things before leaving the childfree lifestyle.....

Hate to say "I told you so", but....

Like others said, please get help before you do something you'll regret.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by goofygirl
TOV/UDB:



I TRIED to warn you when you said you were changing your mind about wanting kids, and I tried to tell you to rethink things before leaving the childfree lifestyle.....

Hate to say "I told you so", but....

Like others said, please get help before you do something you'll regret.

WOW aren't you a good pal?

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

BTW GG I hope you're still sticking with that 'no kids' plan.

 

[kasar]

I TRIED to warn you when you said you were changing your mind about wanting kids, and I tried to tell you to rethink things before leaving the childfree lifestyle.....

Really now, is that helpful?

TOV: You're a mom. Get control of your life! Your comments went a bit beyond normal new-parent stress rantings. ANYTIME you think you may harm your child is a real red flag. Get some help (Doctor's/DH/MIL - whatever) and figure out a way to get back on track. Nobody can do this for you, it's your responsibility now. If you're unhappy about your life, change it.

 

[tar heel]

You really need to call your doctor, but you already know that.

Taking care of a new baby and a home and working is a HUGE job -- way too much for anyone. There is no way you can do it all. I know $ is an issue, but you might be able to get some help cheap this summer. Are there any preteen kids in your neighborhood who might be interested in making a small amount of $ (fortunately kids who are 11 or 12 usually have fairly low pay expectations) to be your helper a couple afternoons a week? This could include helping with the baby but also with housework, laundry, etc. I had a young girl who came and helped me one day a week the summer my third child was born. She cleaned the house, took care of the older kids, etc., and it was amazing how much that helped. One of her sisters ( a teen) cleaned a couple houses regularly and she only charged $25.

Also, if your dh isn't doing his HALF of the housework, then you need to have a heart to heart with him and fast.

 

[Planogirl]

Good luck with your call. Let us know how it works out. I had a BAD bout with PPD and it's no picnic. Even if it's not that, it never hurts to talk to someone and make sure.

As for jobs, what about customer service? Or grocery stores? I'm told that they pay more and tend to be less stressful. Or maybe a receptionist or file clerk post to get started in corporate? (I know, not the best.) Just some thoughts.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Originally posted by goofygirl
TOV/UDB:



I TRIED to warn you when you said you were changing your mind about wanting kids, and I tried to tell you to rethink things before leaving the childfree lifestyle.....

Hate to say "I told you so", but....

Like others said, please get help before you do something you'll regret.

Not very nice.... but definitely enlightening!

 

[Celluloidgal]

Bumping for an update...