Giving birth ?

[transparant]

Transparent ... the reasons you gave re tearing being better than episiotomy were why I fought mine for so long, and why I was happy to birth in a tub where an episiotomy could not be done and I would tear if anything (of course if there had been any hint of trouble I would have had to get out of the tub, and on the bed an epis could have been done to hurry the delivery if needed). I have done a ton of birth research, and it led me down the path I went (birthing centre with midwife) b/c I couldn't birth the way I felt was best in the hospital here. My OB with #1 was also not that receptive. In an ideal world the hospital would have had a totally separate birthing suite (away from the sick people LOL!) and would allow total non-intervention unless there was a problem. That way there would have been access to medical technology just in case. But given that our hospital isn't all that high-tech anyway, my risks didn't increase more than marginally by going off-site. What I liked about the birthing centre experience vs the hospital was that the midwife was always with me, and the doula. They watched everything, took notes, talked to me about what I was feeling etc. In the hospital the nurses were busy and were in and out of the room, relying on a couple of monitor readings and internal checks to make their decisions. My midwife at the Centre never once checked me internally - there was no need, we both knew how I was progressing via other means.

Re food and water: with #1 I didn't eat all day - 13 hours without food. What a shock to my system! With #2 I had a bowl of Cream of Wheat (comfort food!) 2 hours before she was born - I couldn't even stand up straight to stir it while it was cooking I was in such active labor, so DH had to! There was no difference in how I felt except that when I didn't eat I felt much weaker and soooo hungry afterwards!!! I must mention that I felt intense nausea with each labor (even when I didn't eat) due to overheating at the end of each contraction. I got so badly flushed it made me feel awful. As long as my little helpers (aka DH and my Mum) kept bathing my face and neck with ICE water I was OK. I never threw up or anything (ooops .. should I not be bringing that possibility up ). Luckily it was only at the end during transition when the contractions were really strong and one on top of the other, not the entire labor!

That story just made my day! I love it when women take control of their birthing experience!

 

[mickeyboat]

I tore and had stitches with both DD's.

They almost did an episiotimy with #1 because they thought they were going to have to use forceps. She was tiny, too but wanted to stay right where she was. I was induced (at 34 weeks) but wasn't progressing very well so they gave me some Phentenol and turned up the Pitocin. I finally got an epidural (anesthesiologists are gods) which wore off when I started pushing.

#2 was labor on my own, it was quick and intense, but I was fully dialated when I got to the hospital. She came really quickly but I tore and had stitches again. (Holy 'ring of fire').

I didn't find too much pain with my stitches, but I did feel some "pulling" which was uncomfortable.

Labor and childbirth are painful, but how soon we forget, otherwise, we wouldn't perpetuate the human race.

Denae

Denae

 

[bajanswife]

transparant ... I truly believe that taking control and having confidence in myself and the process (and my support team) helped me to get on with it and just do what needed to be done, despite the pain. I'm still amazed that I could make that mind shift where I was no longer afraid of childbirth and I could accept whatever I was feeling and just go with it. I know that's not an easy thing to do. Maybe it's because I knew so much and took such control over what was happening that I was able to let go of some things and surrender to the event. I know that all sounds a little "out there", which is not really like me - I just don't know how to describe what got me from a typical scared mom-to-be to the calm and relaxed person I was while I was in labor and delivery!

With DS (hospital birth) the nurses almost forgot I existed because I was so quiet and asked nothing of them! It was only the poor OB at the end who had to argue with me about the episiotomy! I had to sympathize with her though - it was a bank holiday and I'd been in labor all day - I'm sure she just wanted it over with

 

[transparant]

transparant ... I truly believe that taking control and having confidence in myself and the process (and my support team) helped me to get on with it and just do what needed to be done, despite the pain. I'm still amazed that I could make that mind shift where I was no longer afraid of childbirth and I could accept whatever I was feeling and just go with it. I know that's not an easy thing to do. Maybe it's because I knew so much and took such control over what was happening that I was able to let go of some things and surrender to the event. I know that all sounds a little "out there", which is not really like me - I just don't know how to describe what got me from a typical scared mom-to-be to the calm and relaxed person I was while I was in labor and delivery!

With DS (hospital birth) the nurses almost forgot I existed because I was so quiet and asked nothing of them! It was only the poor OB at the end who had to argue with me about the episiotomy! I had to sympathize with her though - it was a bank holiday and I'd been in labor all day - I'm sure she just wanted it over with

That doesn't sound "out there" to me at all. My job (I don't even like calling it a job - I love it to much for it to be just a *job*) is to help women get to the point of where you were with your labor and delivery. Once I get them to realize that there is nothing to fear - I see such a transition of calmness wash over them. Once that happens - things in labor progress much more smoothly. The "fear-tension-pain" cycle is a vicious thing. Mom's are afraid, they tense up, then pain is felt more intensly...its a vicious snowball effect. I will do triple backflips for my clients to keep them comfortable emotionally and physically so that never even happens. It's very amazing to watch

 

[JennyMominRI]

You have to be proactive in any medical situation ,be that childbirth or treatment for disease..Many people are intimidated and afraid to assert themselves,or make their own decisions

 

[transparant]

You have to be proactive in any medical situation ,be that childbirth or treatment for disease..Many people are intimidated and afraid to assert themselves,or make their own decisions

YES!!!

 

[disneymom3]

You have to be proactive in any medical situation ,be that childbirth or treatment for disease..Many people are intimidated and afraid to assert themselves,or make their own decisions

I totally agree with this statement!! My first delivery I did what they told me to do and hadn't really said what I wanted and it was a horrible experience. With my sons, my Dr knew what my wishes were and we were a team and the whole experience both times was SO much better! Plus my middle son has spent a significant amount of time in the hospital. The first time he was admitted to the teaching program (he was quite an interesting case.) It was a nightmare--I would just get the baby to sleep and ANOTHER person would come in to listen to his hearbeat or whatever other nonsense. Drove me nuts. Then a friend who is a nurse told me I was in charge of who looked at my baby when and WATCH OUT! that knowledge was power! Several months later I found myself blocking the door to his room at 1 a.m. because this young nurse thought he was going to wake my son up to give him his medicine. (That he had been taking for 7 months at home and NOT in the middle of the night, thank you.) It was a much better hospital stay that time!

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

My DH and I are in the process of seeing if we can do insemination. I have to go for an HSG test to see if my tubes are open as soon as I am done with my period. I opened the thread about the worst procedures you have ever had, and I had no clue to what an Episiotomy was so I search it and I almost passed out. (It had a picture) And then when I read what it was I really got scared. I can hardly tolerate any pain. But if we can have a baby it would be worth it. I know that more than makes up for everything. But, have you ever had second thoughts after hearing about how painful it is? If I can hardly stand any pain should I reconsider? I am really nervous now. Thank you.

First good luck with the HSG, you may want to ask about pain meds before that. I had an HSG and did an IUI and ended up pregnant with Belle that same cycle!

You'd be surprised at how strong you can be when it comes to giving birth, I was scared before having my first and I decided to stand up for myself in all aspects of the birth. My midwife told me if I was sure I didn't want an episiotomy (I didn't, I'd rather tear) to make sure the doctors knew I didn't want one and if it looked like they were going to do one to tell them loudly that I do not consent for an episiotomy! I never had more than a skidmark with any of the kids.

I think fear about childbirth is normal, doesn't matter how many you've had. You can't control it, you don't know what's going to happen, but in the end you have a beautiful little one and that's what matters. I freaked before both girls were born, tried to tell DH I'd changed my mind and didn't want to do it. I was wrong!

 

[tzuhouse]

Hi. I'm going to give you a little horror story of mine, but there is a method... When I was a teen, my SIL told me what childbirth was like for her. I swore I would never have children. I am suffering right now because I've got several mosquito bites, so you can imagine what a sissy I am with pain. When I met my DH, I convinced him we never wanted children. Then I turned 30 and changed my mind. We got pregnant to have a child, not to be pregnant. Pregnancy and I did not get along very well. I wasn't that glowing beautiful woman I thought I was suppose to be. Then comes labor. I was induced and in labor all day. At 11:30pm the nurse tells the dr. that she has already written my son's birthday down on everything, for that day. Doc says okay, this has gone on long enough anyway and brings out the forceps. I'd had an epidural hours before, so I wasn't really able to push very well, but couldn't feel much either. My son was born 6 minutes later with a broken collar bone (Never caused him any trouble at all) I had what they call a grade 4 tear. No episiotomy was done. Nature handled it. Terribly painful for 2 weeks, but my son was incredibly jaundiced and was almost put back into the hospital, so I couldn't really worry about the pain. Two and a half years later, I was pregnant again. My OB had written all over my chart that no forceps or vacuum should be used and that I am not to tear again. (It's a different OB than my first one) Well, she's not there that weekend, so I'm seeing a dr. I don't know. Afternoon comes and I tell the nurse something is going on. She checks and there is a lot of meconium, which means my baby has pottied. Very dangerous for him. Dr. says he can get him out easily with vacuum, but that my OBs orders are not to do that. At that point, it doesn't matter if I tear again, or not. I told him to get the baby out, and he did. And yes, I tore again. Another grade 4. Do I regret having these boys that I originally didn't plan on having? Absolutely no way. Were they worth all the pregnancy stuff and labor pain? Yes. I probably could have done with without the epidurals, but it just made me calmer and thinking more clearly. Am I still a wimp for pain? Yes. Would I do it again? We tried to get pregnant again last year. I had a miscarriage in June and then didn't get pregnant again. I was so stressed out about it that I gave up and we decided to plan a trip that we wouldn't have taken, had we gotten pregnant and stayed that way. So, we are going to WDW in December. I'm sad that I'll never had that little girl I wanted so badly, but my boys are miracles that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. No one can tell you whether you should do it, or not, but I was so terrified I literally was never going to have children. I am so glad I changed my mind.

Good luck with the decision. You are much stronger than you think you are.

Mary

But, have you ever had second thoughts after hearing about how painful it is? If I can hardly stand any pain should I reconsider? I am really nervous now. Thank you.

 

[JoyG]

My DH and I are in the process of seeing if we can do insemination. I have to go for an HSG test to see if my tubes are open as soon as I am done with my period. I opened the thread about the worst procedures you have ever had, and I had no clue to what an Episiotomy was so I search it and I almost passed out. (It had a picture) And then when I read what it was I really got scared. I can hardly tolerate any pain. But if we can have a baby it would be worth it. I know that more than makes up for everything. But, have you ever had second thoughts after hearing about how painful it is? If I can hardly stand any pain should I reconsider? I am really nervous now. Thank you.

Haven't read the whole thread, but I wanted to give you some advice on the HSG. I had that done and some people find it painful, but I didn't. Ask you doctor to try the procedure without using "the clamp" (which holds your cervix open). If he can do it without that tool it's really doesn't hurt at all. This was explained to me by my Dr. as he did the procedure.

Best of luck with your insemination. My twins were conceived by a clomid/iui combination!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Episiotomy's are unnecessary if you are allowed to let your body do what it needs to do. Tears do happen. But let's put it this way. That first BM afterwords was WORSE than labor....and I screamed Louder than any of the woman on the labor and delivery wing.

My first baby with episiotomy and she was only 6 lbs 9 ounces.
the second baby was delivered by midwife and I had a doula--I need 1 little stitch for a tiny tear...baby was 9 lbs 6 ounces.

If you tell you doc no episotomy--they will guide you in delivering in such a way to minimize the tearing (if there is any at all).

As with all delivery decisions--best to find out evertyhing about delivery and then consutling ob's who use procedures when necessary and not just for their convenience. Every procedure has it's place--but it should be used when it is best for you and the baby and not as status quo each and every delivery.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

For me the worst thing is the stirrups..The being exposed to the world.. And it's messy and slimy

But there are ob's and midwives out there who don't use them I liked that soooo much better....and they didn't use them on my second delivery even though I was maxed out on epidural.