Girls Only Trip (old planning thread, see link to new one in 1st post)

[sahbushka]

((((( SARAH )))))))))
I completely understand what you're going through. My son was diagnosed with O.D.D (Oppositional Defiancy Disorder) The name pretty much speaks for itself. He does the opposite of what is ever asked of him pretty much. Every day there's a struggle. There have been times I can't even leave the house with him because of the acting out. He is 5 yet talks to me like he's 16. Jaws drop when we're out in public and he talks to me the way he does. Now for the positive side of all this............there has been a lot of improvement....it takes consistency and lots of it. It takes short boundaries, and few chances. I give him choices and he lives with them. I put the ball in his court a lot and he feels more in charge...little does he know that the two choices are things mom is choosing. I hope things get easier for you.....don't consider yourself as a failure though.....just by speaking out puts you at the top of your game. You obviously love him a lot or you'd just be throwing in the towel. Take it one day at a time............that's all you can do. I find myself taking mommy time outs and just crying to myself in my room wondering what I did wrong. Was it the divorce? What did I do? But then I am able to pull myself out of that and realize that this won't last forever and I'm doing the very best I can. It's funny how it's always the smart ones that seem to test their boundaries so much. They just have to see what they can get away with. How are things with your son at school? My son ...a different child. He LOVES school and asks if he can go on the weekends. We had the defiant stuff going on when he was in preschool but this year, when he finally began being challenged he really changed his focus. They really have to just find their nitch and realize more comes out of being good than misbehavin. Hang in there....you're one awesome mommy!

Ryder is not is school yet, just preschool and I am hoping being in school will make a difference. I know when I have been working with him on something he seems to behave better than when I have been working around the house and then tell him to do something.

 

[DangerMouse]

I'm a BIG TIME meanie though!

I'm even more of a meanie, because I'm a (drum roll please) . . .

Spanker!

Duh duh duh!

Yep, and right there will be the end of my contribution to the parenting portion of this thread because how I raise/train/discipline my kids is probably way too controversial.

Sarah, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

 

[MommyWithDreams]

Ryder is not is school yet, just preschool and I am hoping being in school will make a difference. I know when I have been working with him on something he seems to behave better than when I have been working around the house and then tell him to do something.

That's those bright kids I tell ya!!! All focus must be on them and they wanna be learning! Hang in there, it really will get better. BTW, I LOVE his name.

 

[MommyWithDreams]

I'm even more of a meanie, because I'm a (drum roll please) . . .

Spanker!

Duh duh duh!

Yep, and right there will be the end of my contribution to the parenting portion of this thread because how I raise/train/discipline my kids is probably way too controversial.

Sarah, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Yea...out with you! I get the bed back I get the bed back!!!!


I was spanked growing up....even got dads belt a few times. Oh and I went to school with moms hand print right across my face. My how times have changed. I think the turning point for me was when my mom threw a big ol 5 lb dictionary at me and told me to look up the word respect, THAT I will never forget.

Ayden has been spanked, it wasn't for me nor was it for him. Honestly it didn't phase him....what really gets him the most is a silent treatment until he's ready to apologize and change his attitude. The kid just thrives on attention though! LOL But still....I get the bed!

 

[stacielee]

I'm even more of a meanie, because I'm a (drum roll please) . . .

Spanker!

Duh duh duh!

Yep, and right there will be the end of my contribution to the parenting portion of this thread because how I raise/train/discipline my kids is probably way too controversial.

Sarah, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

I remember the day when my kids would not behave!!! Now, my oldest daughter, who will be 20 (!!) next month, is ... I don't even know how to describe her. Those of you who have met her know what I mean. She is an awesome young lady, and I couldn't ask for anything more. But when she was younger, I definitely could have. My son, who just turned 18, is going to be the death of me! Just makes me worry everytime he leaves the house!!! And I think the biggest thing is that I remember what I used to do at 18, and wonder if he's doing the same thing Then there's Allyson, my strong-willed child; for those of you who have met her, you know what I mean. She'll be 14 in July and is every bit the image of what I was like at that age! And that scares me even more than my son does. Just thinking about what she might get into trouble with...

And yes, we spanked. Callie, I completely agree with you, and I know there are those who would never do that, and I completely understand.

Hope everyone has a better day tomorrow! It was very nice here in Phoenix today, a little windy but it definitely helped keep the temps down.

Sarah, did you get your CD?

 

[MommyWithDreams]

Thanks everyone...it really helps to hear your stories and know I am not alone in this. I am sure he will be a great adult and yet I am so worried on his surviving childhood!

And since we are talking parenting...how do you raise the kids, work, and keep the house clean as well as doing the "big projects" that always creep up...you know, working on the will, planning the kids B-day parties, landscaping, planting, and all the regular errands, grocery shopping, etc. And that isn't to mention the dentist and doctor appointments and someone is always getting sick and then you have to go through the closets because they grow so fast you turn around and they have outgrown their entire wardrobes. And in order to get it all done or even just the laundry you put them in front of the TV or a video game and then you spend the whole time feeling guilty for trying to take care of the house! I'm exhausted just thinking about it!


Sarah

That's a very good question. I have no clue how I do it. The truth is, I don't do all that. That sounds like one organized momma! Or one with magical powers. I'm a single mom and if made myself do all those things I'd....well probably need to be committed lol
I don't get any help from Ayden's dad. He is with him a few days a week, no overnights and he shows up to T-ball when he feels like it. We live with my DBF of 2.5 years and if it weren't for him I don't know how I'd manage. It's weird.....things just somehow get done. I was just recently so sick and home for two weeks and literally on the couch for 10 days straight. Things still got done. Ayden has chores and he had to make sure his laundry was where it needed to be and his dishes were cleared after dinner. Every little bit helps. Everyone needs to chip in......not just momma. Sarah.. I think you need a
I hope tomorrow is much bettter for you.

 

[DangerMouse]

And yes, we spanked. Callie, I completely agree with you, and I know there are those who would never do that, and I completely understand.

Neener Neener! I still have a bed mate!

Oh, and I don't typically spank anymore. That stopped around age 5-6. It was just during the "training" phase where we used a switch. Every once in a while I need to bring it back out in order to remind my kids, but not often at all.

Now I use whatever form of "currency" is most important to my kids. For my boy, it's video games. For my youngest, it's sugar. For example, she's currently off sugar for a month in order to train the characteristic of "self control". My oldest is my best trained (typical first-born pleaser), although she can be a bit unsympathetic and mean-spirited at times, which we are working on.

Didn't I say I wasn't going to discuss parenting???? Geesh. . . .

 

[MommyWithDreams]

Didn't I say I wasn't going to discuss parenting???? Geesh. . . .

Speaking of parenting...I just did my good mommy deed for the day. Ayden just asked if he could go to bed early and said he didn't feel good. He was rubbing his head. I took his temp and sure enough it was 99.9.
Poor kiddo! Anyway I snuggled my baby boy and put him to bed. I don't know about you guys...but I know when my little one is sick I'm such a sucker for them. THose glassy eyes that look to you to make it better, just makes me melt.

Well I had a really hard long rough day so I'm going to go watch some tv in bed myself. I was able to get in to see a Dr and they did a chest xray to see if I did crack or rib or whatever. I didn't hear back so I guess that's a good thing.??? While the Dr was listening to my heart though he asked if I've ever been told that I have an irregular heartbeat. OMG I about died right there. I have been saying for YEARS that I have these really weird heart palpitations that force me to have to cough. I mean I literally have to cough. I get really weak and feel really weird afterwards. I have had a 24 hour heart monitor, an event monitor an EKG, and an echo and all came back ok. But finally ...almost 3 years later someone FINALLY hears something odd. He said it's possible I have PVC's. Of course I check it out on the internet and some say it's harmless some say it can be fatal. I have been diagnosed as having tachardyia...my heartrate is usually pretty fast so I do take a beta blocker already for that.....needless to say I'm a wreck right now thinking there's something wrong with my heart and HAS been wrong and it's just been missed all this time. He said he wants me to see my cardio doc again. Oh boy!
When it rains it pours.......anyone else have any experiences with PVC's or irregular heart rhythem? Put this girls mind at ease please.

Ok I said I was going to go watch some tv....I have some shows waiting for me on the DVR. Night ladies!

 

[sahbushka]

That's those bright kids I tell ya!!! All focus must be on them and they wanna be learning! Hang in there, it really will get better. BTW, I LOVE his name.

Thanks, I love it too! And my daughter's name is Kiera which I also really like. I hope I continue to like the names. I don't care for my name so I also hope that the kids grow up liking their names. Time will tell.

I remember the day when my kids would not behave!!! Now, my oldest daughter, who will be 20 (!!) next month, is ... I don't even know how to describe her. Those of you who have met her know what I mean. She is an awesome young lady, and I couldn't ask for anything more. But when she was younger, I definitely could have. My son, who just turned 18, is going to be the death of me! Just makes me worry everytime he leaves the house!!! And I think the biggest thing is that I remember what I used to do at 18, and wonder if he's doing the same thing Then there's Allyson, my strong-willed child; for those of you who have met her, you know what I mean. She'll be 14 in July and is every bit the image of what I was like at that age! And that scares me even more than my son does. Just thinking about what she might get into trouble with...

And yes, we spanked. Callie, I completely agree with you, and I know there are those who would never do that, and I completely understand.

Hope everyone has a better day tomorrow! It was very nice here in Phoenix today, a little windy but it definitely helped keep the temps down.

Sarah, did you get your CD?

Thank you, yes I did get the CD. Turns out my dh hadn't bothered to get the mail for the last few days. Normally I get it but I have been working so much that I haven't and I just assumed he had. Of course, we all know what assuming will do!

Thanks again for everyone's words of wisdom. It has made me feel SOOOO much better! I have spanked Ryder a couple times and each time I just worry if I am taking it too far or if it is what is needed to get through to him. Taking things away doesn't seem to affect him much and after a while there is nothing left to take away!

I hate the way my eyes feel for the rest of the night after a huge cry. Especially if I have to stay up late. They feel so dry!

I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. I work 8-4 tomorrow and then monday is dentist, passport interview, ordering glasses and working 12:30-4. Shouldn't be too bad. I am going to talk to the dentist about teeth whitening. I hit 30 this past year and while I like my smile it just seems so dingy. I feel like I am all one color, my hair skin and teeth are all a kind of oatmeal. So I am considering teeth whitening, tanning and a new hair color. I am not sure about the last one, though, because I really don't have the money to keep up a hair color...roots and all.

Sarah

 

[DizNee Luver]

I guess I'll jump in on the parenting issues:
My house would be chaotic without a routine...... I've learned to prioritize what's important..... Is it more important to sit on the floor & play with my child or to run the dust rag around? My house is not the cleanest, but it is not dirty by any means.
We pick our battles. My 3 yr old is a struggle ever since the "state" made her go home to her bio-mom right before her 2nd birthday. Terrible timing on their part & she hadn't spent much time with her prior to them doing this. We are doing some positive parenting classes which comes down to not saying NO, DON'T, etc Not an easy thing to do. We also do a 5 minute playtime with her that she is totally in control. She picks the toy, she does the talking (we paraphrase or repeat after her), she leads the entire time. This doesn't sound like much, but it really has made a difference. It's the one time during the day they know they're in charge.

Parenting is hard work & no one is super-mom. You can only do so much. Don't fret over the smaller things, jump all over them for things that could hurt them or others.... the rest they'll learn over time. Have special time for them & special time for yourself...... hard to do, but a must!!!!

There are no miracles or right answers to deal with children..... each child would have their own manuel. What works for one might not work for another. You have to find what keeps you sane & your child somewhat controlled.

Smile big & look in the mirror & remind yourself what a great mom you are..... God picked you special for that child!!!

 

[DizNee Luver]

Well I had a really hard long rough day so I'm going to go watch some tv in bed myself. I was able to get in to see a Dr and they did a chest xray to see if I did crack or rib or whatever. I didn't hear back so I guess that's a good thing.??? While the Dr was listening to my heart though he asked if I've ever been told that I have an irregular heartbeat. OMG I about died right there. I have been saying for YEARS that I have these really weird heart palpitations that force me to have to cough. I mean I literally have to cough. I get really weak and feel really weird afterwards. I have had a 24 hour heart monitor, an event monitor an EKG, and an echo and all came back ok. But finally ...almost 3 years later someone FINALLY hears something odd. He said it's possible I have PVC's. Of course I check it out on the internet and some say it's harmless some say it can be fatal. I have been diagnosed as having tachardyia...my heartrate is usually pretty fast so I do take a beta blocker already for that.....needless to say I'm a wreck right now thinking there's something wrong with my heart and HAS been wrong and it's just been missed all this time. He said he wants me to see my cardio doc again. Oh boy!
When it rains it pours.......anyone else have any experiences with PVC's or irregular heart rhythem? Put this girls mind at ease please.

Ok I said I was going to go watch some tv....I have some shows waiting for me on the DVR. Night ladies!

I had to wear one of those portable monitors a few years ago..... I'll get palpatations that as you put it......make you cough. Of course no episodes while I had the stupid thing on. I was told when I was a teen that I had a funny "noise" in my heartbeat but they didn't get too concerned about it. I haven't been told that lately.....but I avoid drs like having teeth drilled with no novacaine!!!! Just relax until you have the whole picture. If they were super-duper concerned.....they would have sent you to the hospital for an echocardiogram or other tests.

 

[sahbushka]

I love DVR and the fact I can watch my shows whenever my schedule allows! I am sorry to hear about your heart worries. My mom had a huge whole in her heart and didn't have it repaired until she was in her 20's. She even played basketball and stuff. I figure if you have known something was up for 3 years and all those tests came back negative than whatever it is you DO have must be in a pretty early stage or minor...at least go with that until you know otherwise or you will drive yourself crazy with worry! I hope you feel better soon...it is no fun not feeling well, especially when you have little ones to look after!

Sarah

 

[daisy_77]

Hi, ladies! I hope you are all enjoying your Saturday night. I am having a really fun night....not. DH and I are both doing homework. Exciting stuff, I know!My eyes are going crossed with all this math homework I have.

Sarah--I am sorry that you are having a difficult time with Ryder. Maddie is going through something right now, too. Maybe it is the age. She has thrown fits, talked back, and cries if we scold her. It is not fun. Just stick to your guns. Follow through with punishment. We use an incentive chart. Every time Maddie gets a good report from preschool, she does her chores (feeds the dog and picks up her toys), and does not talk back or throw a fit the ENTIRE day, she gets a sticker. There are 20 slots on a chart. When it gets full, we will take her to the mall and she can pick out a treat. It has been working pretty well...she does still have her moments.

Callie--I was spanked growing up. No biggie. I haven't spanked Maddie...yet. She seems too small to spank. Time out and taking away the TV and toys works well so far.

 

[daisy_77]

Speaking of parenting...I just did my good mommy deed for the day. Ayden just asked if he could go to bed early and said he didn't feel good. He was rubbing his head. I took his temp and sure enough it was 99.9.
Poor kiddo! Anyway I snuggled my baby boy and put him to bed. I don't know about you guys...but I know when my little one is sick I'm such a sucker for them. THose glassy eyes that look to you to make it better, just makes me melt.

Well I had a really hard long rough day so I'm going to go watch some tv in bed myself. I was able to get in to see a Dr and they did a chest xray to see if I did crack or rib or whatever. I didn't hear back so I guess that's a good thing.??? While the Dr was listening to my heart though he asked if I've ever been told that I have an irregular heartbeat. OMG I about died right there. I have been saying for YEARS that I have these really weird heart palpitations that force me to have to cough. I mean I literally have to cough. I get really weak and feel really weird afterwards. I have had a 24 hour heart monitor, an event monitor an EKG, and an echo and all came back ok. But finally ...almost 3 years later someone FINALLY hears something odd. He said it's possible I have PVC's. Of course I check it out on the internet and some say it's harmless some say it can be fatal. I have been diagnosed as having tachardyia...my heartrate is usually pretty fast so I do take a beta blocker already for that.....needless to say I'm a wreck right now thinking there's something wrong with my heart and HAS been wrong and it's just been missed all this time. He said he wants me to see my cardio doc again. Oh boy!
When it rains it pours.......anyone else have any experiences with PVC's or irregular heart rhythem? Put this girls mind at ease please.

Ok I said I was going to go watch some tv....I have some shows waiting for me on the DVR. Night ladies!

Oh, goodness. I am so sorry to hear this! You really ARE having a rough time. I will be praying for you!

 

[DangerMouse]

Janelle, I had Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia for years when I was younger. The episodes got more frequent and more difficult to stop (would go on for hours and hours and I would sometimes pass out). I got worried when I was pregnant and continued to have them. I had to go to the ER to have my heart stopped and restarted using an iv drug. Once my first child was born, I went to the AZ Heart Hospital, and they ended up doing a procedure on me called radiofrequency ablation. It is basically the delivery of energy of a specific frequency through an electrode catheter inserted in the heart through a large artery in your groin. This cured me completely and I haven't had an episode since. Although I still am told that I have an "irregular" heartbeat, even at a resting rate.

I don't think irregular heart rhythms are something that normally need to be worried about, and are quite common. I'm glad you're seeing a specialist to have it checked out.

 

[mommaU4]

What I wouldn't do to be online with you ladies all night... instead I have to write my 10 page senior thesis. Please pray for my concentration!

Good luck!

I think I wrote that poorly. I have no intention of making a buck!! I just meant with the person buying the shirt, mailing it to me, me charging the minimal supplies, or even if I don't charge for the dye, and then shipping back...it will be more than the Etsy seller!! I don't know how she does it for that little.

Apparently I am in trouble for trying to sell on the Dis...and I AM NOT!!!!

Just trying to make it clear!!!

AMySue

OMG, are you serious?? I got you in trouble??? With who???
I am clearly the one who wrote poorly, NOT you. All I meant by make it worth your while, was that of course everyone would pay you for the shipping fees, and the supplies. We'd never leave you to eat any of the basic costs. That's all. I know you are not trying to start a business or anything.

If anyone reading that misunderstood, please know I was NOT implying it was a money making venture at all!! Sorry about that AmySue.

 

[mommaU4]

Hey everyone...I have had a bad day...a really bad day. I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I just can't get my son to listen to anything I tell him. And since he isn't doing what he is told I end up having to physically make him or put him where he is supposed to be. I feel like that is not teaching what I want to teach and yet I don't know what else to do. I can't just let him get away with things. I am at such a loss. I have heard of a program called 1-2-3 Magic that I might look at closer. I have to do something. He is such a smart kid but such a frustration. I don't want him to grow up as someone who thinks he is above rules.

Sarah

I'm sorry you've had a bad day. But you are not a failure as a mother. Hang in there.

I'm even more of a meanie, because I'm a (drum roll please) . . .

Spanker!

Duh duh duh!

Yep, and right there will be the end of my contribution to the parenting portion of this thread because how I raise/train/discipline my kids is probably way too controversial.

Me too. Not just for any little thing, but we definitely used spanking as part of our overall discipline.

Well I had a really hard long rough day so I'm going to go watch some tv in bed myself. I was able to get in to see a Dr and they did a chest xray to see if I did crack or rib or whatever. I didn't hear back so I guess that's a good thing.??? While the Dr was listening to my heart though he asked if I've ever been told that I have an irregular heartbeat. OMG I about died right there. I have been saying for YEARS that I have these really weird heart palpitations that force me to have to cough. I mean I literally have to cough. I get really weak and feel really weird afterwards. I have had a 24 hour heart monitor, an event monitor an EKG, and an echo and all came back ok. But finally ...almost 3 years later someone FINALLY hears something odd. He said it's possible I have PVC's. Of course I check it out on the internet and some say it's harmless some say it can be fatal. I have been diagnosed as having tachardyia...my heartrate is usually pretty fast so I do take a beta blocker already for that.....needless to say I'm a wreck right now thinking there's something wrong with my heart and HAS been wrong and it's just been missed all this time. He said he wants me to see my cardio doc again. Oh boy!
When it rains it pours.......anyone else have any experiences with PVC's or irregular heart rhythem? Put this girls mind at ease please.

Ok I said I was going to go watch some tv....I have some shows waiting for me on the DVR. Night ladies!

I'm sorry I don't have any experience with that, but I just wanted to say I hope things start getting better for you soon. It does seem to be when it rains it pours, but at the same time, there is always a rainbow waiting to appear. Ok, that sounds way corny, but you know what I mean. Hang in there and I hope Ayden starts to feel better.

 

[mommaU4]

I clearly cannot express myself very well today, and am really tired so I'm off to bed. I hope all the Divas in DL had fun today!!

Night.

 

[prettyprincessbelle]

Goodnight, ladies!

 

[Queenbillabong]

I think I wrote that poorly. I have no intention of making a buck!! I just meant with the person buying the shirt, mailing it to me, me charging the minimal supplies, or even if I don't charge for the dye, and then shipping back...it will be more than the Etsy seller!! I don't know how she does it for that little.

Apparently I am in trouble for trying to sell on the Dis...and I AM NOT!!!!

Just trying to make it clear!!!

AMySue

AmySue - I hope you did not really get in poop for trying to sell on the DIS. I think everyone knows you were not and were just explaining that the shirts are time consuming and you're not sure how the Etsy seller makes money on them - not that YOU want to make money on them