Getting stalked at Disney

[wdwmom0f3]

I really do agree that you need to take care of this before you go so that you wont spend your entire vacation looking over your shoulder.

 

[eliza61]

They don't seem to care that they offend you. You need to stop worrying about offending them.

Don't answer the phone when they call. If you run into them, tell them... I'm here on a family vacation with my parents, so sorry if it hasn't worked out with them.

If they want to spend time, say... "We have ADRs, and to add 6 people would be impossible". Then tell them you'll see them back home and to have fun.

Then if they get snippy say, "Ya know, I have to enjoy my free welfare time while I got it. Got it?" Then roll your eyes and walk off.

Man, I so agree.

Op, can't really agree that these are "friends". Friends tend to try and be supportive when others experience misfortune. kinda reminds me of the old line "with friends like these, who needs enemies".
Anyway one thing I've learned over time is that my disney vacations are to precious to me to let outsiders ruin.
If they are trying to repair the friendship suggest another time and venue for that.

I would politely (or not so politely) tell mr. and mrs. crass and tacky, thanks but no thanks and that you have no intention of hooking up on your vacation.

If you do see them, smile and wave (preferably from the other side of a ride) and say "hope your having a great time" then keep on stepping.

 

[Heidijs]

I definitely would NOT cancel your trip, don't let them ruin it for you...ruin it for THEM! Remove them from your facebook first off...tell your sister not to give them ANYMORE info...stop returning their calls or answering their calls...if they ever get through to you and ask why you are ingnoring them, tell them you've been too busy standing in line for your government cheese and hang up on them. They should get the hint big time... If they do find you during your trip, have your in laws or parents or whoever is with you snub the hell out of them...or tell them to make a big scene like, you mean you guys booked a trip the same time and weren't even invited along in the first place????? Wow! Talk about inviting yourself! LOL!!!! Let someone else trash on them and just stand back and laugh...I hate people who do this. They're not your friends.

 

[bumbershoot]

2. Don't post personal info on facebook. Not only do these people see it, but 40 million other people see it too and now know when your house is going to be empty because you are travelling

Only if they are silly enough to have their info open to the world. It's easy enough to close it up, make it Friends only, then you can close it up further than that.

 

[KellyNY]

You know, the more I read it, the weirder it feels. If you say you and him were working together originally and he was competitive to begin with(not sure if you did not do the same), he is jelous of you big time. I do not know why, maybe you were more successful at work or women liked you better, maybe he felt insecure around you and now that you are down, he finally feels like a winner. This sort of things is not that rare between "friends" and unfortunately it will worsen, he will influence his kids, eventually they will compete with yours. I would suggest to drop them as soon as possible, thankfully they are not family, just "friends". Anyway you say how many things bothering you about him and his family. Keep us updated please.

 

[kbelle8995]

YIKES

Yet another reason for me to stay off Facebook. Yikes.

I'd tell them that this is a family trip and you will not have time to join them. And that Magic Wrist Ban does not exist never has. This person sounds like he tries to be better than other people.

 

[ckmiles]

I agree with everyone's suggestions..but if you do see them, you have to ask how that magic wrist band is working...

 

[inkkognito]

I am a cognitive therapist, and it amazes me how many people give others power over their lives. That is what you're doing, giving these people power over you. It's only a worry if you let it be. Decide to lay down and enforce a boundary and leave it at that. You're wasting way too much energy stressing about this when the solution is simple: tell them you are not spending any time with them, and remind them of this every time they try to horn in. You don't owe them any reason or explanation. They are acting like this because you let them. Just stop letting them. End of story.

 

[KellyNY]

I am a cognitive therapist, and it amazes me how many people give others power over their lives. That is what you're doing, giving these people power over you. It's only a worry if you let it be. Decide to lay down and enforce a boundary and leave it at that. You're wasting way too much energy stressing about this when the solution is simple: tell them you are not spending any time with them, and remind them of this every time they try to horn in. You don't owe them any reason or explanation. They are acting like this because you let them. Just stop letting them. End of story.

 

[Disney Spaz]

Just had to chime in. 12 years ago my exhusbands family decided to "suprise" us on our first disney trip. They even go the hotel to put our rooms close together. I swear they had radar. If we even opened our door they knew it and were right there. They changed our ADR and dragged us everywhere. It was awful. THey left half way through our trip and we finally got to be a family. Looking back I wish we had been as rude as they were and maybe we would have gotten to enjoy the entire trip we planned instead of their version of how our trip should be.

 

[kent285]

I am a cognitive therapist, and it amazes me how many people give others power over their lives. That is what you're doing, giving these people power over you. It's only a worry if you let it be. Decide to lay down and enforce a boundary and leave it at that. You're wasting way too much energy stressing about this when the solution is simple: tell them you are not spending any time with them, and remind them of this every time they try to horn in. You don't owe them any reason or explanation. They are acting like this because you let them. Just stop letting them. End of story.

Whew...thank you. This thread is like a train wreck-I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't. Now I can.

 

[Lynne M]

I am a cognitive therapist, and it amazes me how many people give others power over their lives. That is what you're doing, giving these people power over you. It's only a worry if you let it be. Decide to lay down and enforce a boundary and leave it at that. You're wasting way too much energy stressing about this when the solution is simple: tell them you are not spending any time with them, and remind them of this every time they try to horn in. You don't owe them any reason or explanation. They are acting like this because you let them. Just stop letting them. End of story.

Right on the money. Perfect.

Unless I'm misreading something, you don't like these people, and don't enjoy spending time with them, and you no longer have any connection to them through jobs, children, etc.

They invited themselves along on your vacation - you never suggested that they vacation at the same time, or that you spend time together, right?

I understand that you don't want to have the big confrontational "here's why we won't be socializing with you again" discussion, that's your right.

But why are you discussing your trip plans with them? Why are you answering their calls at all? I assume you have caller id at home and on your cell phones...don't pick up when they call.

When you get to WDW, don't answer your room phone...just let it go to voice mail and delete any messages. If they call your cell....don't answer. If you happen to run into them in the parks, just tell them the truth....you've been busy enjoying your family trip and won't have time to tour with them.

If you don't intend to socialize with them again, then defriend them on Facebook, so they no longer know your business.

They've repeatedly insulted you....I can't see how you owe them a thing.

 

[Sammie]

I agree, you are a grown up this is not grade school, do not enable them. Cut them loose and move on.

 

[duffy]

Yes, just stop all the wussy passive-aggressiveness of changing your dates, putting up fake itineraries...tell them the truth.

Tell them you don't want to spend your vacation with them. That's all. If they run into you, tell them to go away. If you run into them, then YOU leave.

Be a grown-up.

 

[yankeeGLEEgirl]

here is my take- and NO I did not read thru the whole thread.

these people have boundary issues. i wont even mention their awfull use of welfare terms.


go, stay at GF and have a good time. tell the desk you are not accepting calls.
shut off your phone and relax.

enjoy your week.

 

[Nancy for Disney]

Haven't been able to read through all the posts but I will have to say let this be a lesson on what to post on facebook. I am going through the same delima. I made a comment on a fb picture of a friend who was in disneyland. I mentioned that I like taking pictures of disney food too and that I would be in the world in dec. A mutual friend read that and sd that they live just five hours away and wanted to meet up with me. Granted we were bff in high school but I haven't seen this person in 20 yrs. She is just coming for 2 nights (with a late arrival). Long story short, I am not sure that I want to spend my very limited vacation time at disney with her. We have both probably changed a lot.

Also, a note to OP, you mentioned President's Club. I don't know if this is something that a lot of company's offer but I used to work for a company that would have President's Club and take employees on trips to places like Cancun. Did you used to sell office equipment by any chance??????

 

[DisneyFanSince71]

I haven't read all of this, so forgive me...It does sound like they are takers...however....it may be that they really are trying to repair the friendship.

Is there a chance you could have an open discussion with them to try and fix thins. Let them know you don't appreciate the comments they made. You once were friends with them. I'm not sure I understand completely why you no longer wish to be friends with them - if they were so horrible - why were you ever friends with them?
I'm also not saying taking a joint vacation with them is the answer to repairing the firendship, but perhaps they just don't understand why you wish to avoid them. I dunno. There are lots of people I've lost contact with over the years, but there are other friends I've found it in my heart to forgive, and their offenses were far greater than a few offensive jokes. Even if you don't want to fix it - I have found being open is best.

I always appreciate it when someone has a frank discussion with me if I've offended them in any way over trying to guess why they are suddenly avoiding me. Given the choice between offensive jokes and sudden avoidance - I'll choose the person who makes offensive jokes any day.

It seems silly to me to end a friendship over a few insensitive jokes. If the friendship is worth having, shouldn't you at least try to talk it out? While I would agree that his jokes seem boorish, and certainly inviting themselves along on your vacation would drive me insane, perhaps if your keeping your lifestyle at a high level he doesn't realize how much he's hurting you.

 

[MaryPA]

I don't have any advice.

I just hope you have a wonderful time!

 

[r1lissa]

Don't ever post vacation dates on FaceBook!! Burglars read it too, ya know.

 

[dansyr2514]

I've kinda been in the same boat. They're were a group of 4 of us who would hang out. my bf his friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend is the very opinionated type and made comments to my boyfriend about why don't I make more money. This is a girl who is 30 yrs old and doesn't have a job so she can get grants for school. She lives with her boyfriend and doesn't pay for anything. I work a full time job and a part time job and pay almost half of the totals bills in our house.
Anyway long story short after saying this she invited me to her baby shower. So when asked why I didn't get back to them about the shower...my boyfriend told them I was offended by the comments they made and wouldn't be attending....and that was that!
So I guess what I am saying is the way to end your stress is to speak up and tell them how you feel. It ends that worry of what if we run into them..or what if they ask us to do something. Either they will take it to heart or you won't be bothered by them again.