Getting Married Young?

[Gumbo4x4]

DW was 23 and I was 27 when we got married. I wa the LAST of my old HS friends to tie the knot - one was already on number two by then

 

[nchulka]

I was married right after I turned 20, DH was 22. We had already been together 7 years, since I was in middle school! We've been married for 15 and together for 22. I hope my kids will do the same. I'd start to be a little concerned if they were approaching their mid-twenties and were not married and planning to have kids soon.

 

[mom2cookies]

let's see i was 19 and dh 34. We will celebrate our 22nd anniversary in June. None of my 3 girls ( ages 21, 19, 18 ) are even talking about getting married though all are dating. I am quite content with them waiting until they are 25+ yrs old. I think i was too young. But feel 23 yrs or older is a good age.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Around here, marriage is not that popular (Quebec-Canada). People tend to live together for long periods of time and then get married, often after having children.

I started dating DH at 16, he was 18. We moved in together when I was 20, DH was 22, both with degrees and employed. Had our first son at 22 (DH was 24), second at 24 (DH was 26), and last one at 26 (DH was 28). He proposed to me that summer, and we got married on our 10 year anniversary. That was 5 years ago. So we've been together 15 years, have three boys, but only married 5 years out of the 15 years.

Why isn't marriage popular up there? Just curious.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

We just turned 21 (me) and 23 (him) and we are married 38 years.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Dh and I dated for 7 years and then got married at 23. We had both finished our undergraduate degrees, had jobs and were in grad school. I didn't think it was that "young" at the time, particularly since we had been together for so long and we both felt that if we were going to live together we might as well be married.

The trend that I am seeing with my younger relatives is that now people tend to finish college and live with their SO for two to three years and then get married. It seems like they are waiting until their mid to late 20's. I have three cousins getting married (in a 1 month period) this summer that are in their mid-20s. I've also had several that bought houses with their SO before they got married, which is a little suprising.

 

[cybrkitn]

My great niece is 20 and was just married last summer. To me, that's young! However, her and her husband are very mature for their age. Being 24 when getting married is a great age.

DH and I have been married for 13 years. I was 28 and he was 29 when we were wed. OTOH, we have also been together for a total of 25 years. We are high school sweethearts and have been with each other since 1987 .

 

[CarolinaBlue]

I was 18 (and NOT pregnant) and DH was just 2 months shy of 21. Our 29th anniversary will be in August.

Our oldest dd(22) just got married last September. Youngest dd(18) is talking about getting married in a couple of years. When I got married, it was pretty common for girls to get married around that age. These days, I think most are waiting until at least their early 20s.

 

[wishing4PA]

I had the same thought as a PP when I read the OP. I thought the "married young" remark might have been intended as a compliment - meaning "You look really beautiful! How could you possibly have been married so long unless you were a child bride?"

I think anything under 21 is young. I thought I was an old maid at 25! Then I went to work in a college town where I was surrounded by the 18-22 age group. When I hit 30 unmarried, I was devastated!

I'll add that I don't think there is a "too old" to get married age.
But under 20 seems too young these days...

 

[KimR]

I was married right after I turned 20, DH was 22. We had already been together 7 years, since I was in middle school! We've been married for 15 and together for 22. I hope my kids will do the same. I'd start to be a little concerned if they were approaching their mid-twenties and were not married and planning to have kids soon.

Why would you be concerned? Mid twenties??!!! Sometimes even for those eager to marry and have children, it simply takes time to find the right person. I think having some sort of 'deadline' (either from oneself or friends/relatives) only puts pressure on the person to rush into marriage with a potentially not-so-suitable partner.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I was married right after I turned 20, DH was 22. We had already been together 7 years, since I was in middle school! We've been married for 15 and together for 22. I hope my kids will do the same. I'd start to be a little concerned if they were approaching their mid-twenties and were not married and planning to have kids soon.

Genuinely curious: why would you be concerned?

 

[nchulka]

Genuinely curious: why would you be concerned?

Maybe concerned is the wrong word. My mom got married at 20 and had me at 24. I got married at 20 and had DD at 24. I think I would be disappointed if I got to be 50 and had no grandchildren yet. My mom was 49 when I had DD and 50 when I had DS. We have had the best time these past 10 years camping with her, and going on vacations. I'm currently 35 and my kids are 9 and almost 11. They will be out of the house by the time I am 45. I would LOVE to spend my 50's being a grandma and camping and taking vacations with both my kids and grandchildren. I have a brother who is 10 years younger than me. He is 25, recently married and no plans on kids for a couple of years. By the time he does have children my mom will be in her early 60's. She is starting to slow down. Those children will know a completely different grandma than my kids have known. I want to be able to be a really fun, involved grandma, not an old lady sitting in a la-z-boy

 

[MeetingMickeyin2006]

I started dating my husband when I was 19 and he was 20. We were married a year later, we were 20 and 21. We both just knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We will celebrate 14 years of marriage in April. I guess we were "young", but my mother and sister both married at 20. My parents' marriage lasted nearly 36 years, until cancer took my father. My sister and her husband celebrated 22 years in December. It isn't age that matters, but whether or not you choose the right person to marry, and marry them for the right reasons.

 

[Arielle22]

It was 2 days before my 20th birthday and DH was 22 when we married. That was 28 years ago. We waited 8 years before having DD19.

I consider 18-22 to be young for being married. I tell my daughters that I love being married to their dad but the early years were tough financially. I want then to get through college before getting married.

 

[DawnM]

I was 29 and DH was 28. I thought we were old since most of my friends were married already, but in retrospect, I am glad I didn't marry younger.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Well, my husband and I were married at 24 (I'm 26 now) and I thought that was a fine age. I know that some people consider young but we had been dating since we were in high school and living together for a while so it wasn't like we jumped into marriage after being together for a short amount of time. I did have friends who did marry much younger and jumped into having kids pretty fast but we are still holding off on being parents right now.

 

[pigletgirl]

Maybe concerned is the wrong word. My mom got married at 20 and had me at 24. I got married at 20 and had DD at 24. I think I would be disappointed if I got to be 50 and had no grandchildren yet. My mom was 49 when I had DD and 50 when I had DS. We have had the best time these past 10 years camping with her, and going on vacations. I'm currently 35 and my kids are 9 and almost 11. They will be out of the house by the time I am 45. I would LOVE to spend my 50's being a grandma and camping and taking vacations with both my kids and grandchildren. I have a brother who is 10 years younger than me. He is 25, recently married and no plans on kids for a couple of years. By the time he does have children my mom will be in her early 60's. She is starting to slow down. Those children will know a completely different grandma than my kids have known. I want to be able to be a really fun, involved grandma, not an old lady sitting in a la-z-boy

That is what YOU/I] want and I find that not fair to your kids! What an awful pressure to put on them. What if you aren't grandma till 60? Or older than that? You can still be an involved grandma.

I am just shaking my head.....

 

[crz4mm2]

Maybe concerned is the wrong word. My mom got married at 20 and had me at 24. I got married at 20 and had DD at 24. I think I would be disappointed if I got to be 50 and had no grandchildren yet. My mom was 49 when I had DD and 50 when I had DS. We have had the best time these past 10 years camping with her, and going on vacations. I'm currently 35 and my kids are 9 and almost 11. They will be out of the house by the time I am 45. I would LOVE to spend my 50's being a grandma and camping and taking vacations with both my kids and grandchildren. I have a brother who is 10 years younger than me. He is 25, recently married and no plans on kids for a couple of years. By the time he does have children my mom will be in her early 60's. She is starting to slow down. Those children will know a completely different grandma than my kids have known. I want to be able to be a really fun, involved grandma, not an old lady sitting in a la-z-boy

we had our kids early too... DS when I was 20 and DD when I was 27. My first Grand just came in 2010. I was 50 when she was born. I HOPE I get more. I can relate. I wanted to have my kids grown when I was still young and grands when I could still get around well!

 

[nanienamou]

Why isn't marriage popular up there? Just curious.

Don't know really. Quebec people are just not religious anymore for the most part and it's not frowned upon to live together without getting married. And there is no real social pressure to get married.

For me, the real commitment comes with children, not with marriage. That's just my own opinion, though, after having three boys in 5 years. lol

http://www.ledevoir.com/societe/actualites-en-societe/156634/le-quebec-champion-mondial-de-l-union-libre

According to this article from a well-respected Quebec newspaper, Quebec has the biggest percentage of people living together without being married, 34.6 vs 13.4 in the rest of Canada. Sweden is closest to this number, at 25 %.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I wouldn't consider 24 "marrying young", but it's a growing trend for people to wait.

I got married at 20.