Getting Married Young?

[SideshowBob]

As the thread made me curious ... looked up averages:

AmericasCountry Men Women Average Year Source
United States 28.9 26.9 2011

 

[bdcp]

I was 21, DH was 24. We'll be married 32 years this summer. Neither of us ever felt like we missed out on anything, because in each other we have everything. We had our oldest DS 2.5 years later. Absolutely no regrets.

We both lived at home with our families til we got married. That's just the way it worked out. We met in college and we were commuters. He graduated. I didn't, but that was a choice we made. College is not required for everything or everyone.

We have several friends whose kids got married at 20 and 21 and have all been married 6+ years now (they're our kids ages). My youngest DS is 26 and is getting married in the spring. His fiance is also 26. For them it was simply timing. They didn't meet til they were 24.

The idea that "graduate" school is why people wait longer now makes no sense. I know a lot of people who were married while in grad school, even undergrad(even recently). Heck, my parents got married at 20 and my dad finished his BS, MS and his PhD all after they got married. Kind of like the idea you have to buy a house first? Why? Most of our friends rented small apartments when they first married and they were very happy. They then saved together and bought together, etc.

 

[RapunzelsBFF]

It is so nice to read that many people married young and are still so much in love with their significant others : I am 24 now and I could not picture myself getting married anytime within the next few years. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and we live together, but I still feel like I am too young. I am still in school and do not feel ready to make that commitment until I am established in my career and financially as well. Many of my cousins were married at 22/23, and only one of my friends is married (she is 31). I think it is different for everyone, though. Sometimes people are ready to get married in their early 20's, some would prefer to wait to marry until their 30's, 40's, etc.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I believe very strongly in living together for at least a year before you get married. My husband and I started dating when I was 26, moved in together when we were 28, and got married at 30. (There was work-based separation during the living-together phase, or it would probably have been six months earlier.)

I know there are many examples to the contrary, but in my own weird experience, every single person I know well who got married before 25 is now divorced.

 

[Janepod]

Official numbers for the US: 28.9 for men and 26.9 for women.

Source.

Broken link, unfortunately. I wanted to see if that was for all marriages or for first marriages.

I think anything under 25 is young, but virtually everyone I know went to college and then many to graduate school. If you enter the work force directly from high school, maybe you're ready a little earlier.

 

[POPCITY]

I don't think 24 is young to get married. I was 19, DH was 22, that was young. Still going strong after 25 years, but I wish I had waited a little longer. I went straight from my parent's house to being married, I wish I had lived on my own for awhile.

My grandma was married at 13, and was a widow with seven kids when she was 27. Now that's young!!!

 

[LBIJim]

I think anyone who wed before 30 got married young. Nothing negative or judgmental about it; IMO you're still young while in your twenties.

Perhaps many people are equating the neutral "young" with the pejorative "too young." I don't believe getting married at 24 is too young, but, yes, you're still young.

A negative "too young" for me in most cases would be under 21, although there are exceptions. Too much of a risk getting married under 21, IMO.

Jim

For the record, I was 40, my wife was 38, and our daughters were 13 and 10.

 

[wgeo]

For me, I was glad I didn't go from my parent's house to college to married life. I spent almost 5 years on my own, and that was helpful to me. I learned a lot that I wouldn't have if I'd been married. I also explored a different set of things than I would have if I'd been married, and I certainly traveled more.

To me though, the big thing that changes your life more than marriage is kids.

I totally agree with the end. I feel like the difference between single/married was much smaller for me then how different things were once we had kids.

 

[PigletsPal2]

My parents were 19 when they married, it will be 49 years this year!

I was 24, DH was 25 and we were some of the last of our "crowd" to get married. I'd been out of college for a few years and was supporting myself, DH had gone back for his masters but was also working and supporting himself. We didn't feel young at all. We are hitting 13 amazing yrs this summer.

The argument that drives me crazy about people marrying young is "you need to go out and have a chance to experience life before you settle down." There is nothing I would rather do than experience all kinds of things with my Husband. Just because we got married, doesn't mean we stopped doing things, learning and growing - we just get to do it together!

wgeo, congratulations to your parents!

When I started reading this thread, I thought I'd "win." I was just-turned 19 and DH was just-turned 21 when we got married. We had dated for five years before that, and we'll celebrate 47 years married, 52 years together in May. And they said it wouldn't last LOL!

It also annoys me when people say "experience life before you settle down." Since I've been married, I've lived in ten countries and visited several dozen more - how much more life could I have experienced single?

Queen Colleen

 

[wgeo]

wgeo, congratulations to your parents!

When I started reading this thread, I thought I'd "win." I was just-turned 19 and DH was just-turned 21 when we got married. We had dated for five years before that, and we'll celebrate 47 years married, 52 years together in May. And they said it wouldn't last LOL!

It also annoys me when people say "experience life before you settle down." Since I've been married, I've lived in ten countries and visited several dozen more - how much more life could I have experienced single?

Queen Colleen

Thanks Queen Colleen

But really I think you should take the win - they only dated for a year so you've been together longer! They actually just made plans to stay in Kissimmee to celebrate their anniversary this year - and my mom asked if I would recommend anything for them to do while they were there . What's sad is that no matter what I recommend they'll probably just golf the whole time .

Gina

 

[crz4mm2]

Let's see. I was 19. DH was 22 (just turned).

34 years in may.....

 

[sharonmickey]

DD #1 got married when she was 21, between her junior and senior years in college. Her husband was 25.

DD #2 got married when she and her husband were both 22. She had graduated from college and been working full time for six months. Her husband had just graduated.

Many of their college friends either got married either the summer after they graduated or the next summer. Interestingly though most of their high school friends have not gotten married yet.

 

[nanienamou]

Around here, marriage is not that popular (Quebec-Canada). People tend to live together for long periods of time and then get married, often after having children.

I started dating DH at 16, he was 18. We moved in together when I was 20, DH was 22, both with degrees and employed. Had our first son at 22 (DH was 24), second at 24 (DH was 26), and last one at 26 (DH was 28). He proposed to me that summer, and we got married on our 10 year anniversary. That was 5 years ago. So we've been together 15 years, have three boys, but only married 5 years out of the 15 years.

 

[PigletsPal2]

Thanks Queen Colleen

But really I think you should take the win - they only dated for a year so you've been together longer! They actually just made plans to stay in Kissimmee to celebrate their anniversary this year - and my mom asked if I would recommend anything for them to do while they were there . What's sad is that no matter what I recommend they'll probably just golf the whole time .

Gina

Was your mom serious when she asked for suggestions about what to do down here or was she just yanking your chain? Are they not Disney fans? Even though I don't play golf, I've heard the Disney courses are fantastic. You didn't mention when they're celebrating their anniversary, but I imagine it wouldn't be too hard to get a prime tee time this time of the year.

Do they bowl? Downtown Disney has just opened Splitsville, a multi-level bowling alley with all kinds of different activities and restaurants.

Even just strolling around DTD, people-watching and eating Ghirardelli's ice cream, is a pleasant way to spend an afternoon. We do it fairly frequently.

Whatever they decide to do, we wish them a very happy anniversary!

Queen Colleen

 

[shell8558]

I was 21 and dh was 25 , and just celebrated 17 years.

 

[utkscvol1]

I was 19- dh was 22- this summer will be 17 years

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I was 21 and he was was 20... that sure didn't last too long. Oh well.



Second time around seems to be working better.

 

[JessB320]

I was 21 and he was was 20... that sure didn't last too long. Oh well.

Second time around seems to be working better.

A bunch of girlfriends of mine have a saying " the first one is just for practice " about our first marriages lol

 

[Southernmiss]

DH and I were 21 when we married. Babies!

We have been happily married for 23 years this year.

My only regret is that I wish I would have completed my 4 year degree before we married, but that's not how life worked out at the time. This does give me incentive to insist that our kids get their college degrees before they get married.

I would like to see our kids wait until about 25 before they marry.

 

[tigercat]

I was 18 and my dh was 24 when we got married. We have been married for over 38 yrs now. We had 2 dd's who got married when they were 21 and 22. They are still married 15 yrs later and have 5 kids between them. My ds is not married. My family all got married young and are still married.
tigercat