Getting along with your MIL/FIL - do/did you?

[Lovely2CU]

Luckily I have a wonderful MIL. We have the best relationship.

I never had the chance to really get to know my FIL, as he was in ill health when I met him and shortly afterwards he passed away. He was always pleasant to me, although very confused, as he had the second stage of Alzheimer's, and had to go into a nursing home.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Do you mean getting ALONG?

 

[3jsmommy]

Do you mean getting ALONG?

I know...I keep reading this as "getting it on" & it's giving me traumatizing images!

 

[mickeyboat]

I answered always with MIL - at least we always did when she was alive. I answered sometimes with FIL, but I really meant most of the time.

Denae

 

[Lovely2CU]

Of course, I thought I typed along, its been a long day!

Do you mean getting ALONG?

 

[JessicaR]

I had a great relationship with my FIL but most would say he was an extremely difficult man. I always sided with him when he and my MIL went at it. He is gone now and I am my MIL's caretaker for the most part. I love her, I truly do she just gets me absolutely crazy at times. I accept that it is what it is.

 

[CathrynRose]

My husband is the youngest of 9 at 41.

My MIL and FIL are 87 and 93! ! ! ! It's hard *not* to get along with either of them.

We won't talk about the brothers and sisters, though.

 

[Arielle22]

Both my dad and fil were dead when dh and I met (each died young). Our moms loved our spouses. My mom told dh if we ever got divorced she would keep him and toss me.

My mom lived with us for most of the last 7 months of her life. She had metastized breast cancer and need lots of car.

MIL lived with us for several months before she went into a nursing home. I helped her with most of her personal care during that time (as I did with my mom).

We took both moms on a trip to Hershey with us about 15 years ago and had a great time. MIL has gone twice to Disney with us.

I find it funny that MIL and I are complete opposites in temperment but dh loves us both

 

[raysnkaysmom]

With my ex-husband...I got along great with his mom before she passed. I never really got along with his dad UNTIL she passed...

With my DBF...I get along with his dad, he's sweet. His mom, OTH...

 

[disykat]

I put sometimes for MIL. I would have put always, except she is married to, and somewhat subservient to my FIL. She tries to stick up for me, but isn't always able to. I put rarely for him.

FIL is an okay guy, but he doesn't do well with "outsiders" (that would be me!) and has some beliefs that most would think are kind of "out there."

 

[chell]

We don't really spend too much time with his parents, but I do get along with them. His dad and I don't share the same views on women and their place in the world. Luckily he hasn't really said anything in front of me to piss me off just yet. But when he does it will be interesting. That is something I won't be able to keep quiet about.

Now my SIL is a whole different story. She is a major pain in the rear.

 

[olena]

Always with both.

 

[candykisses]

My MIL never gave me a chance. There wasn't any room, or any need for an outsider in her tight knit group.

She told me that she hated me and would never forgive me for sending my DH to a rehab hospital instead of letting her take him to her house to recover after he was paralyzed. And she went to her grave hating me.

 

[4nana]

They were both the best ! Accepted me like a daughter from day 1, saldy they both passed with few yrs of our marriage.
Our children really got cheated out of knowing some of best GP's in the world.

My DH gets along wonderfully w/my Mom, always helping her in some way . He and my Dad were great pals before Dad passed.

 

[clh2]

I never had a MIL - she passed away before DH and I met. I did have a FIL for about 1.5 years before he passed away.

Maybe it was a timing thing...DH was the 7th of 8 kids to get married...DFIL was so used to the "outlaws" - as he affectionately called us, that nothing would have surprised him by that point. And - the only thing I did that mattered to my DFIL was that I loved his son.

I also echo another PP - my DD was born several years after DFIL passed away. She would have loved him! And DFIL adored all the grands.

 

[ginna74]

well I got along with MIL and FIL ok until I said that I wanted to move family away from area then MIL and SIL got all phsycho tried to ruin our lives.. mine, my daughter's, my son's, and my husbands (the one they claimed to love so much lol) it was a classic case of mommy wants all her kids close to her and who gives a shoot about the family because she didn't like me so as long as she had him that was all that mattered...was really sick and she did some SICK things to get us away, which didn't work, only made her look nasty...anywaysssssssssss

 

[Buckalew11]

I got along well with my FIL.

I get along well with my MIL. In fact, I have pneumonia and she brought me flowers and dinner tonight. She is very thoughtful like that.

When my dad died, a year later she brought me flowers to cheer me up that day. I was so touched. She and I do not have much in common but she treats me like she would a daughter. I am very blessed.

 

[EMom]

My own father died when I was a teenager. FIL was a wonderful man and helped fill that void. I was very fond of him and wish he had been with us many more years. He had a strong and dynamic personality. He was ethical, hardworking, generous and one in a million.

MIL just passed away. She was a handful, to put it mildly. I guess you could say we got along, because we established rules early on when she tried to pull the old, "Choose me over your wife" routine and DH chose me. That let her know that issuing an ultimatum would never go in her favor and that it was in her best interest to get along with me. So she did. However, I never kidded myself that she was crazy about me. But then, she wasn't really crazy about anyone....including her own kids.

That being said, we always took care of her when she needed it. She may have been a pain in the rear at times, but she was our pain in the rear. She respected me as a mother, and that was the highest praise she could give a woman. She also depended on me to an extent, in that she knew I'd have her back if she ever needed looking after medically or legally.

One BIL is as close to perfect as I could ask for. The other is the counterbalance to that. Arrogant, intellectual snob, condescending.....and those are his GOOD qualities. He always bullied the other two siblings (physically, emotionally, verbally, etc.) and got away with it because they are nonconfrontational. (not to mention younger) I married into the family and upset the dynamics. I come from a family that doesn't tolerate bullies and if you speak in a condescending manner to one of us, you get an earful in response. He was unprepared for anyone to ever say anything BACK to him, and the rest of the family was slack-jawed the first time I did it. Now, they agreed that WHAT I said was correct, they were simply stunned that anyone spoke back to BIL. Needless to say, he and I have butted heads throughout the years because I can only listen to him yap just so long and them I think to myself, "Oh no....I can't let that go.....I'm going to have to say something now." If I don't, a vein will blow.

 

[shortbun]

I count myself among the lucky!!! My in-laws are wonderful!!!

 

[NMAmy]

My MIL had four boys and was well known within the family for not getting along with her DIL's. Before I met her, I was warned to not take it personally when she didn't like me and was rude. She loved me. We got along really well--I think a good part of that was due to the fact that there was an ocean between us. She passed away several years ago.

My FIL and I really enjoyed each other. He was a very interesting man and just passed away recently. I was sad that we didn't get to spend time with him this summer since we'd had a visit planned.

Now my ex's mother hated me until my ex and I divorced and he remarried. Then she decided I wasn't so bad. She'd been married four times and I got along great with all my FIL's.

My mother adores DH and my sisters and I laugh that he has become her favorite child. If it were a choice between any of us and DH, DH would always win.