Getting along with your MIL/FIL - do/did you?

[SC Minnie]

I got along with MIL and FIL. I didn't see them that much since they were 500 miles away. FIL died when DH and I had been married about 4 years. They had 7 children and all but one was married and lived all over the country. MIL told me that she didn't have the time or energy to get overly involved with her grown childrens lives. They all married good people and had become great parents.

MIL even told me once that I was a good mother. That meant the world to me.

 

[tazdev3225]

I never met my FIL as he died the night before my DH's 7th birthday. My MIL hated me. When my DH and I first started dating she liked me but the minute she realized we were serious I became a B word. I understood I took her baby from her but her actions were mean and cruel. My kids loved her so I took them to visit and bit my tongue. When she started to show the signs of Alzheimers I became the best DIL in the world. I always joked that it took losing her mind to realize what others already knew. I'm not making fun of the disease. It broke my DH's heart when he went to visit her and she had no clue who he was. I do wish for my DH and kids we could have had a better relationship.

 

[luvsJack]

Dh is in the middle of 7 kids. I love his mother and father. I was divorced and had two kids when I met their son who had never been married or even lived anywhere but at home. I didn't think they would accept me or my boys; but I was very, very wrong. The accepted all of us from the first time we met; no questions asked. Dh loved me so and that was all it took to make me ok in their eyes.

Now my first in-laws? While I was married to their son, I could do nothing right. After we divorced and he remarried, I could do no wrong.

 

[novajeanjellybean]

I love my in laws (well I consider them my in laws as I have been with their son 12 years in August). We get along great and always have.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I get along with my in-laws better than DH does.

 

[SleepyMom]

My late MIL decided she didn't like me, even before we met. She actually refused to meet me for the 18 months DH and I dated and even after we became engaged. Her reason? I was divorced and had a DD. I didn't understand that at all because she was married 4 times and had 7 children with 3 different fathers

I finally met her 1 month before DH and I were married, on Thanksgiving. The only reason she allowed that was because she wanted DH there and he wouldn't come unless I did. We were married almost 15 years when MIL passed away, I think by then she had accepted I was DH's wife, but oldest DD and I were never considered a "real" part of the family.

DH's dad died when he was a teenager, so I never had the chance to meet him. His step-dad and I got along great though and we really miss him, he was nice to both my girls (not just DH's DD with me).

To be fair though, I know DH did not win in the MIL lottery either. They get along OK and she likes him, she is just a difficult person.

 

[Darsa]

I think I get along with my MIL/FIL because I hardly ever see them My DH has to LIVE with his in-laws; luckily he really likes them and vice versa.

So I guess I should consider myself very lucky!

 

[Pakey]

My first marriage, which lasted 10 years, I had great in laws and loved both of them. We kept in touch for many years even after I had remarried.

I've been married to my current husband for 25 years and I do not like his family at all and I have no doubt that the feelings are mutual. They are nice enough people; we just come from different planets. My 2 stepsons and my son (all grown) also do not care for them so we hardly ever see them. My husband visits on his own frequently and has never expressed any negativity that the rest of us do not care for his family.

 

[C.Ann]

I had a wonderful relationship with my MIL and FIL.. Sadly, both are deceased now.. They were really great people - and sooo easy to get along with..

 

[scottishduffy]

I have 4 in-laws.

The set that lives close by is DH's Bio-dad and Step-Mom. These are the people who raised him and the ones he refers to as Mom and Dad. In fact, he gets offended if someone refers his Mom as his step-mom. Technically she is, but the woman raised him as her own from the age of 3 and she is a lovely woman. I get along GREAT with these two! At times i think i tolerate them better than my own parents. My MIL is a wonderful, sweet woman. They treat me like a daughter. FIL is also a great guy. Super sweet, understanding, and just a fun person to be around.

The other set is different issue. Bio- Mom and step dad. This MIL abandoned DH at the age of 2, never raised him. We see her once or twice a year. DH is semi-estranged from her and their relationship is fragile. She HATES MY GUTS. She tried on several occassions to break us up, and tried to stop our wedding. I play nice with her and basically follow DH's lead. We keep a distance, minimal contact, and don't allow her to close into our lives. She has never been inside our homeas we always meet at outside locations. Yeah... it's tense with her to say the least.

Her husband however is an alright guy, no complaints about him. We have not seen him in 7 yrs. He has no interest in us, but that is perfectly fine. MIL always travels without him.

 

[Orangeandwild]

FIL passed away 6 months after we were married, he never liked me as he considered my folks to have money, which he never had so he made a point of not liking me from the first I met him..never had a chance with him.

MIL had 7 other daughter in laws before I came along, as DH was the youngest of a very large family so she was never interested in me. She would talk to us when we visited back up home and be polite to my kids but she ws never in my life or made any attempt to be al grandma to my kids. She passed away about two years ago.

We always lived hundreds sometimes thousands of miles away from them as we were military so it was no big issue. However, my kids always if not stopped called my parents their "Real Grandma and Grandpa". One son even said it to MIL once, oh well...she had her chance and never cared to know them.

I am extremely lucky though as in the 31 years we were married while MIL was alive she never once visited us, never set foot in our house. How many can say that

 

[turkeymama]

Well, I'm not sure how to answer this one. I got along with MIL and FIL great until I found out they were hiding my BIL's felony record from my husband and I in an effort to keep seeing our children. Since then, it has been a little touchy, but they can't figure out why. So, we see them and allow the kids to see them only when we can also be present. Otherwise, there are no more unsupervised visits with those grandparents. Just can't trust the judgement. So how do you answer that one?

 

[Aisling]

My MIL is a cold woman, never shows affection or emotion, even to her own kids growing up. After so many years, I still feel like she's a stranger, not family. I rarely get along with her, but it's more of a quiet non-interest.

My FIL is the polar opposite. He's warm, interested in our lives, likes being with us, and was/is warm with his kids growing up. I love him and get along with him all the time.

Unfortunately after 49 years of marriage, they've split up, her decision, and each live with one of the grown kids. (Not us...they have moved to he Philippines).

 

[Nancy]

My in laws treated me like one of their own almost from day 1. My FIL passed away 2 years after I got married but he treated me so well it would have been hard no to love him. He actually treated me better than he treated my husband.

My MIL can be annoying...but that is because she tries too hard and she doesn't need to. We get along really well.

 

[NotUrsula]

MIL and I have a cordial relationship, but we are (as my Dad would have said) as different as chalk and cheese. We have absolutely NOTHING in common except DH and the children, so we're polite, but nothing beyond that, really.

MIL has some mental health issues, and she tends to take offense VERY easily where none was intended, and she NEVER gets over a perceived slight. (For example: she has been refusing to speak to several of her siblings ever since they got into an argument about mixed marriages in 1976 -- and by mixed she meant a Lutheran marrying a Catholic!) She's a bit difficult to deal with for that reason, so I walk on eggshells whenever I have to interact with her. If I say the wrong thing I might never be forgiven, but my children love her.

 

[mrs_hower726]

My FIL is awesome and has called me his daughter since day 1. He's very caring and very easy to get along with.

My MIL...well....it's complicated. Sometimes she's easy to get along with, other times she's very demanding. I sometimes wonder how DH turned out as "normal" as he did.