Gabby Petito

I disagree and, frankly, that is a little insulting. You are a newish mother. I am a single mom to a child who is the center of my universe and has been since I adopted her on my own at ten months of age, 19 years ago.

But, I won't pursue this with you anymore. This whole thread has rubbed me wrong, so I should have just kept my nose out of it.
 
I watched it too, and something unrelated really caught my attention. The cop, just before putting her into the backseat, says ‘I’ll assume you don’t have any weapons’. That just seems like bad policing at a very basic level.

May I ask on what you base that opinion?
 
My I ask on what you base that opinion?
I'm not the poster but truthfully all the shows (like Live PD, Live Rescue, etc) they usually as the question of "do you have any weapons" or "do you have anything that would hurt me, stab me, etc" (though that's usually when they are patting them down) if they are bringing up the question. Phrasing it as assuming you don't have weapons could open the officer for a potentially fatal mistake.
 

They might not think they’re covering up a serious crime that their child committed. All I can say is there are some of us who obviously get what his parents might have done & some who can’t fathom it. It has less to do with morality & more to do with your connection to your child.
No, don’t go there. You’re just going to anger people and derail this thread into fighting and get it closed.

If I’d prefer my child turn himself in peacefully instead of being gunned down by police in pursuit while he’s on the lam, that’s not because I don’t have a good connection with him.

If I want him to pursue legal avenues for defending himself, that’s because I know that’s the only chance he has at beating the charges and/or getting a shorter sentence. Going into hiding and evading arrest is not going to help him in the long run.

As well, a parent needs to think about how all of their children will be affected by something like this. The Laundries also have a daughter. It’s bad enough that she’ll have to come to terms with her brother being a murderer, won’t it be worse to have her parents thrown in the slam alongside him for being accomplices? How is it fair to her to lose her whole family to this because of Brian’s actions?

And yes, my morality does play into it. I know right from wrong and I have to live with myself. That would be hard to do if I knew I had added to another grieving parent’s pain, pain that was caused by my child.
 
I'm not the poster but truthfully all the shows (like Live PD, Live Rescue, etc) they usually as the question of "do you have any weapons" or "do you have anything that would hurt me, stab me, etc" (though that's usually when they are patting them down) if they are bringing up the question. Phrasing it as assuming you don't have weapons could open the officer for a potentially fatal mistake.
Based on nothing but my thought that it should be sop to check for weapons. But, as the pp said, she was wearing summer clothes so a lot easier to see she’s not hiding anything. I honestly wasn’t trying to start anything, just what my thought was.

Thank You, I didn’t think you were trying to start anything. I just wanted to say that in real life, we don’t automatically ask that question for several reason. The Traffic stop of Brian and Gabby would be classified as a Terry Stop. A Terry stop in the United States allows the police to briefly detain a person based on reasonable suspicion of involvement in criminal activity. Reasonable suspicion is a lower standard than probable cause which is needed for arrest.The United States Supreme Court held that where: (1) a Police Officer observes unusual conduct by a Subject; (2) The Subject’s conduct leads the Officer reasonably to conclude that criminal activity may be afoot, and that the Subject may be armed and presently dangerous; (3) the Officer identifies himself as a policeman; (4) the Officer makes reasonable inquiries; and (5) Nothing in the initial stages of the encounter serves to dispel the Officer’s reasonable fear for safety, the Officer may conduct a carefully limited search of the outer clothing of the Subject in an attempt to discover weapons, and that such a search is a reasonable search under the Fourteenth Amendment, so that any weapons seized may properly be introduced in evidence. . In this case, as a PP has already said, Gabby was wearing very little clothing so a pat down of her outer clothing was unnecessary and may have escalated her already fragile mental state.

On most of the TV shows that the PP listed, the officers are asking that question before effecting an actual arrest. This is what is referred to as a search incident to arrest (SITA) The search incident to lawful arrest exception to the general search warrant requirement was first discussed in Chimel v. California, 395 U.S. 752 (1969), where the U.S. Supreme Court held that an arresting officer may conduct a warrantless search of the arrestee and the area within the arrestee’s immediate control. The Chimel opinion determined that officer safety and the need to prevent the destruction of evidence were two justifications for allowing police officers to conduct this type of warrantless search. In United States v. Robinson, 414 U.S. 218 (1973), the U.S. Supreme Court held that during a lawful custodial arrest, a full search of an individual constitutes a reasonable search under the Fourth Amendment. It also held that a full search of one’s person following a lawful arrest is an exception to the warrant requirement under the Fourth Amendment. However, a search must be incident to an actual arrest. A search cannot be conducted based on probable cause that might have led to an arrest. See People v. Evans, 43 N.Y.2d 160, 165 (1977).

Again, I know you weren’t trying to start anything, but I just wanted to show why basing an opinion based on something we’ve seen on TV or a movie doesn’t always hold up in real life. That’s why lacking legal context or training makes even the Real PD, cops type shows a terrible place to learn about policing.
 
No, don’t go there. You’re just going to anger people and derail this thread into fighting and get it closed.

If I’d prefer my child turn himself in peacefully instead of being gunned down by police in pursuit while he’s on the lam, that’s not because I don’t have a good connection with him.

If I want him to pursue legal avenues for defending himself, that’s because I know that’s the only chance he has at beating the charges and/or getting a shorter sentence. Going into hiding and evading arrest is not going to help him in the long run.

As well, a parent needs to think about how all of their children will be affected by something like this. The Laundries also have a daughter. It’s bad enough that she’ll have to come to terms with her brother being a murderer, won’t it be worse to have her parents thrown in the slam alongside him for being accomplices? How is it fair to her to lose her whole family to this because of Brian’s actions?

And yes, my morality does play into it. I know right from wrong and I have to live with myself. That would be hard to do if I knew I had added to another grieving parent’s pain, pain that was caused by my child.
Ok you say don’t go there but then you do. This part of the conversation started b/c a pp commented that it was interesting that ppl who said their own parents would likely protect them like this are also the ones who said they would for their own children. The person commented that it had to do with morality & having your parents teach you right & wrong. That’s is simply not true. As I mentioned, I can hardly think of a more moral man than my father, yet I am sure he would have done anything including something like this to protect his children. There are many levels of sacrifice we all are willing to make for our children. Some of us are saying we could see ourselves even going this far even if it’s not the right thing to do, but that are instinct to protect our children at all costs supersedes any other moral code we may have. Most of us are also saying that we are talking along the lines of believing our child made some horrible mistake or there was a horrible accident not protecting some cold-blooded monster. All of it discussed was only to say that some of us can understand why Brian’s parents may have gotten themselves into this situation & cannot rule out that we might have done the same thing.
 
That’s why lacking legal context or training makes even the Real PD, cops type shows a terrible place to learn about policing
FTR I never stated I learned from a TV show just gave that as an example. I also said "if they are bringing up the question". Officers don't always ask the question but if you are and you're not actually going to search them best not to assume much less vocalize your assumption that they don't have a weapon. Granted different police officers may do things differently but that's at least what our local PD mentioned on one of the "coffee with a cop" events last year. We live in a relatively safe place which actually prompted the conversation because for a while there it seemed like all of a sudden the idyllictic suburbia was having issues with gunshots or a man showing up with a stab wound at the Pizza Hut parking lot or burglary attempts with people home, it put people on edge and generally coffee with a cop they are pretty open which is the intention. But again I'll leave it to different places do things differently (within legal parameters of course). Eta: To make it clearer local pd are not normally advised to verbally assume someone doesn't have a weapon in my area at least
 
Last edited:
Ok you say don’t go there but then you do. This part of the conversation started b/c a pp commented that it was interesting that ppl who said their own parents would likely protect them like this are also the ones who said they would for their own children. The person commented that it had to do with morality & having your parents teach you right & wrong. That’s is simply not true. As I mentioned, I can hardly think of a more moral man than my father, yet I am sure he would have done anything including something like this to protect his children. There are many levels of sacrifice we all are willing to make for our children. Some of us are saying we could see ourselves even going this far even if it’s not the right thing to do, but that are instinct to protect our children at all costs supersedes any other moral code we may have. Most of us are also saying that we are talking along the lines of believing our child made some horrible mistake or there was a horrible accident not protecting some cold-blooded monster. All of it discussed was only to say that some of us can understand why Brian’s parents may have gotten themselves into this situation & cannot rule out that we might have done the same thing.
“Don’t go there” was in reference to your statement that parents who would help their kid get away with murder would do so because they have a better connection with their child than do the parents who wouldn’t help them cover up a violent crime.
 
I don’t see it as how much your taught about right or wrong as much as your devotion/connection (for lack of a better word) to your children (not necessarily better or healthier either). But my dad would have sacrifed everything & anything for us maybe even to a fault. He was a single parent & never did anything without us except go to work. No dating or remarrying or any of that b/c he was too concerned about how it would affect us. My mom, on the other hand, did all that. There were definitely consequences for my actions as a child & plenty opportunities to be taught right & wrong. Integrity & honesty were probably the most important values to my father. I would probably even describe him as strict when I was a child. And, of course, We never had a conversation or anything about how he would help me if murdered someone lol. It’s just something I’m confident he would have done. DH’s dad died when he was a child & his single mom was very similar to my dad with these type things. And, so not surprisingly, DH & I are similar with DS. No “date nights” or vacations without him like some ppl do. We all 3 go everywhere together. We would both miss him too much & know he would have enjoyed whatever it is we are doing. Thankfully DH & I are on the same page with this so it doesn’t cause a strain. But, neither DH nor I could stand it if he had to suffer some dire consequence or pain even if he might have “deserved” it. I know we would both rather “take the fall”, if you will. But, I’m also not talking to about some kind of sociopath, serial killer, but rather if he made a huge costly mistake like most likely Brian’s parent believe. Both DH’s mom & my dad are/were rule-followers & very moral ppl (almost over-the-top). But, the connection with their children supersedes all of that. I also suspect more ppl have that than they realize & might find their actions surprising if faced with such circumstances.

Ok you say don’t go there but then you do. This part of the conversation started b/c a pp commented that it was interesting that ppl who said their own parents would likely protect them like this are also the ones who said they would for their own children. The person commented that it had to do with morality & having your parents teach you right & wrong. That’s is simply not true. As I mentioned, I can hardly think of a more moral man than my father, yet I am sure he would have done anything including something like this to protect his children. There are many levels of sacrifice we all are willing to make for our children. Some of us are saying we could see ourselves even going this far even if it’s not the right thing to do, but that are instinct to protect our children at all costs supersedes any other moral code we may have. Most of us are also saying that we are talking along the lines of believing our child made some horrible mistake or there was a horrible accident not protecting some cold-blooded monster. All of it discussed was only to say that some of us can understand why Brian’s parents may have gotten themselves into this situation & cannot rule out that we might have done the same thing.

Except it's not you and your husband who are sacrificing/taking the fall - it is the victim and their family that are sacrificing and taking the fall due to your actions (your hypothetical actions).
 
Yeah as really question is if Brian is alive and if his parents could be charged with obstruction?!
 
They might not think they’re covering up a serious crime that their child committed. All I can say is there are some of us who obviously get what his parents might have done & some who can’t fathom it. It has less to do with morality & more to do with your connection to your child.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree on this.

It's quite a leap to assume that people who wouldn't try to help their child cover up a serious crime or flee the law have a lesser connection with them. Nobody said it wouldn't be the hardest thing they had ever done in their lives.

And Gabby was missing. Their son showed up in her van. They had to at least have a very strong suspicion that something serious had happened. And even if they didn't in the early days, that's certainly been confirmed by now.
Except it's not you and your husband who are sacrificing/taking the fall - it is the victim and their family that are sacrificing and taking the fall due to your actions (your hypothetical actions).
Especially if a crime is unsolved and the other family is left wondering whether their child is alive and not knowing where they are.
No, don’t go there. You’re just going to anger people and derail this thread into fighting and get it closed.

If I’d prefer my child turn himself in peacefully instead of being gunned down by police in pursuit while he’s on the lam, that’s not because I don’t have a good connection with him.

If I want him to pursue legal avenues for defending himself, that’s because I know that’s the only chance he has at beating the charges and/or getting a shorter sentence. Going into hiding and evading arrest is not going to help him in the long run.

As well, a parent needs to think about how all of their children will be affected by something like this. The Laundries also have a daughter. It’s bad enough that she’ll have to come to terms with her brother being a murderer, won’t it be worse to have her parents thrown in the slam alongside him for being accomplices? How is it fair to her to lose her whole family to this because of Brian’s actions?

And yes, my morality does play into it. I know right from wrong and I have to live with myself. That would be hard to do if I knew I had added to another grieving parent’s pain, pain that was caused by my child.
The impact on other family members is a critical piece of this as well. I believe a couple of the strongest voices in saying they'd help their child flee also have just one child. That perspective changes a lot when you have another piece of your heart out there wandering the earth.
 
We're just going to have to agree to disagree on this.

It's quite a leap to assume that people who wouldn't try to help their child cover up a serious crime or flee the law have a lesser connection with them. Nobody said it wouldn't be the hardest thing they had ever done in their lives.

And Gabby was missing. Their son showed up in her van. They had to at least have a very strong suspicion that something serious had happened. And even if they didn't in the early days, that's certainly been confirmed by now.

Especially if a crime is unsolved and the other family is left wondering whether their child is alive and not knowing where they are.

The impact on other family members is a critical piece of this as well. I believe a couple of the strongest voices in saying they'd help their child flee also have just one child. That perspective changes a lot when you have another piece of your heart out there wandering the earth.
I completely agree on this part. It would be a much harder decision & if you have other kids.
 
I know that for my saying that my own parents definitely would NOT help me, I believe it is more bc in their day or at least I was raised that way to respect and obey the law. Always. You don't steal, you don't murder, you don't do it and if you do you will deal with the consequences. They were "religious" people also. So different times or I don't know, but I was raised that way. And yes I know different cultures etc have different views and relations with the law as someone mentioned and it is a complex issue for many, but that was how I was raised, there were no excuses or coddling either. If you stole or did something bad, you got in trouble. I would not be coddled or hid or helped to escape.
 
When someone in the family becomes a murderer it can change the whole families life. If they help the murderer hide information I can imagine it would be a lot worse. Have you guys seen "We Need To Talk About Kevin"? The main character's life is dramatically changed due to her son's actions.
 
I actually wouldn't be surprised to see Brian get a special spot on the FBI top ten list, especially if they get evidence that he has left the country. Many top ten fugitives are charged in federal court with fleeing the jurisdiction to avoid criminal charges. He's already crossed state lines and been charged with an interstate crime in the federal system.
 
I've been reading a lot about this as well. Definitely so upsetting and frustrating to the families of those still missing whose cases have never gotten this kind of attention.

Yes that is true and there were two other women murdered in the same area also that no one is mentioning either. A lot of this issue with Gabby is bc she was on social media and they got this going too. It has all the makings of the movies you see on TV bc those stories sell. Maybe more people watch those that look like their own daughters also, it's a human thing, whether right or wrong. So even tho I agree with you on a lot of it, it is not just a simple reason there were other reasons she is big in the news. Same reason anything is big in the news mostly about making money and stories that they will generate the most money. This has intrigue, twists and turns, many are amateur sleuths on social media trying to solve as they knew her. On top of that, I think the cops doing all the searching is mostly bc of the social media interest and social pressure. I saw a guy I watch on tv actually going on about how there are many indigenous people missing, mainly women and children, and I had seen a story of that awhile back and really wanted to know more. I was telling my husband about that even before I saw this story. The same guy never told that story, he still isn't. His story is how those stories are not talked about but not the story itself bc THAT is the story. His angle is about what makes the money. So the story that makes the money is that this girl should not be so talked about bc others of different colors are missing too. NOT about those people. Oh yeah they are now doing one other guy a POC Daniel Robinson, but that is not the true story for them. Again there were two other women just murdered in the same exact area in mid Aug and that is barely talked about. I hope that this story with Gabby has people talking and pushing those stories for all the others that are missing and not just pick and choose stories that have more intrigue, or prettier people in their eyes or are social media stars like Gabby. Many on social media are trying to solve this crime. And I particularly am interested in the missing indigenous women and children. Like I said, there was a small story about it I had seen and wanted to know more and felt very saddened about it, why no one looks for these people or cares.
 
Last edited:














Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!

Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE







New Posts







DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest

Back
Top