FuN with ARD/IEP Meetings!

[Kat77]

I know you get tired of hearing this from me but call an IEP meeitng each and every time there is a falure on the schools part of this seriousness. It every quickly becomes easier for the school to do the right thing than to have repeated IEP meetings.
bookwormde

Bookwormde inspired me to start up some snarky comic relief...

This could be wicked fun! So here's the deal:
What's the best way to make an ARD/IEP meeting shocking for those who dare to stir the Mama/Papa Bear inside us?

 

[Kat77]

Hire Starbucks to deliver a gigantic container of coffee to the conference room 20 minutes prior to your meeting!

Announce ASAP if anyone needs to use the restroom they should do so now b/c you all may be there awhile.

 

[bookwormde]

That is funny, most members of the team are normally jumpy and wanting to run out the door, that would really give them some "sensory differnetials"

bookwormde

 

[C&G'sMama]

When we were in a CSE meeting for DD 5at the time. While it was acknowledged she may have issues later they couldn't be pro-active. "Fine, when she's 12, hates school, has fallen in with the wrong crowd and is pregnant, maybe then when we're sitting around this table you'll help her".
She didn't get services but the look of shock and watching them squirm was priceless.

And oh by the way she is now in 4th grade is starting to struggle. But her school, a charter school, is great in getting her what she needs.

 

[MagicMomentsMom]

some great suggestions--I did pull off a "surprise" at DD's IEP mtg in Nov--I was tired of being run over constantly and told that my suggestions were trivial--so this time around I took a State IEP advocate with me, she's a lawyer working pro bono for parents. I did not tell the participants that I would be bringing her with me and if you could have seen the faces of the OT and the School board lady--they had to pick their jaws up off the ground when I introduced her as an advocate/lawyer specializing in education--I was quick to point out after their shock that she was there as an advocate and not a lawyer representing my DD, but that initial shocked look on their faces was PRICELESS. Needless to say the OT did not call any goal I requested trivial this time around

 

[Kat77]

That is funny, most members of the team are normally jumpy and wanting to run out the door, that would really give them some "sensory differnetials"

bookwormde

Nope, NOW lets add the "sensory differentials"-
Bring along a posse who you've instructed to cough, giggle, fire spit balls, drum the table, lean back and forth in chair, pinch or punch their neighbors, walk about the room at random, etc. When no one in the meeting can concentrate get very insistant you need them to focus and get things done. I suspect it will be hard to ignore adult peers pulling this crap.... .... this is probably a good training exercise for all educators. It is habit for adults to ignore kids and move on. But in a room of their own peers it won't be possible. That is how my kid feels everyday!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Create an extended length video montage of all the meltdowns you've been experiencing at home-and turn the volume UP!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Hire an attorney with a reputation for getting results for her clients. Watch the look on the face of the Special Ed. Director when you walk in with said attorney. Watch him wish he'd brought a change of pants to the meeting because he'll be needing one real soon. Watch him squirm because he can't explain why he knowingly violated your son's IEP. Be prepared to accept the offer of an excellent private school that will be fully-funded by the school district. Enjoy watching your son's anxiety level drop when he realizes the staff at his new school a) understands him and his condition, b) wants to work with him, and c) actually likes him! Be sure to say a polite "hello" to the Special Ed. Director when he visits your classroom because you work in his department! Yep, take great pleasure in knowing you unleashed an attorney on your own boss! But don't feel bad because he really gave you no other choice! It seems funny now but it sure wasn't funny at the time!

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hire an attorney with a reputation for getting results for her clients. Watch the look on the face of the Special Ed. Director when you walk in with said attorney. Watch him wish he'd brought a change of pants to the meeting because he'll be needing one real soon. Watch him squirm because he can't explain why he knowingly violated your son's IEP. Be prepared to accept the offer of an excellent private school that will be fully-funded by the school district. Enjoy watching your son's anxiety level drop when he realizes the staff at his new school a) understands him and his condition, b) wants to work with him, and c) actually likes him! Be sure to say a polite "hello" to the Special Ed. Director when he visits your classroom because you work in his department! Yep, take great pleasure in knowing you unleashed an attorney on your own boss! But don't feel bad because he really gave you no other choice! It seems funny now but it sure wasn't funny at the time!

That is so scary, bud sadly, not surprising. When DD was in 2nd grade and still in a district school (vs Charter) Her teacher had something similar, she had to sue her employer, the district, to get her son into an exclusive private school (that the district pays for) because he wasn't learning anything at school. And he was in one of the best ES in the district.

So, and I'm being serious, is Special Ed's director job to save the district money vs. really helping the kids (until they run across informed and educated parents that push them) because time and time again across the country that seems to be the message.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Nope, NOW lets add the "sensory differentials"-
Bring along a posse who you've instructed to cough, giggle, fire spit balls, drum the table, lean back and forth in chair, pinch or punch their neighbors, walk about the room at random, etc. When no one in the meeting can concentrate get very insistant you need them to focus and get things done. I suspect it will be hard to ignore adult peers pulling this crap.... .... this is probably a good training exercise for all educators. It is habit for adults to ignore kids and move on. But in a room of their own peers it won't be possible. That is how my kid feels everyday!

We should start a bus brigade. Charter a bus for a month and a whole group of us from the DIS go from CSE meeting to CSE meeting as friends wiith other parents. I'd be more than happy to be a distraction.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

So, and I'm being serious, is Special Ed's director job to save the district money vs. really helping the kids (until they run across informed and educated parents that push them) because time and time again across the country that seems to be the message.

You're totally right about this. The Special Ed Director told me in an IEP meeting that it's all about what's best for my son - not saving staff's time or the district's money - but what my son needs to succeed. Then, a few weeks later during a special ed staff meeting, the same guy said, "You all know that it's all about saving money and not exceeding our budget. That's what I have to focus on. I feel comfortable enough to tell all of you this, as my staff." I just sat there and thought, "Does he realize that I'm sitting in this meeting?" I realize that everyone can't have everything they want, but there has to be some balance between providing a quality program that will actually benefit the child and saving money.

In our district, if you happily take what they offer and sign your IEP, everyone is happy. The minute you ask for additional services or question something on your IEP, you're labled as a "high profile parent." The director will start coming to your IEP meetings when he never did before. Rather than actually meeting your child and observing him in class to see how he's doing, he immediately goes on the defensive to avoid giving you more services. He told me my son didn't need an aide or any other accommodations and he'd never even laid eyes on the kid! That, to me, was unacceptable! I guess I ended up being about as "high profile" as they come!

 

[cccdisney]

Create an extended length video montage of all the meltdowns you've been experiencing at home-and turn the volume UP!

I love this! Perfect!

 

[Val]

I teach a fair number of the school psych students and had a special ed director in one of my courses. I have a hyphenated name, my kids don't. This director called me the night before an IEP meeting to tell me that they would be "granting" none of my requests for my DD12, who was then 5 (She is hearing impaired, but mainstreamed). She told me I really didn't have to come to the meeting, since nothing would be granted, and that way I wouldn't have to waste my time, she would simply send the paperwork home for me to sign. This, of course, is highly illegal to do and could be considered coercion. I asked her if she knewwho she was taking to....and she replied, "well, aren't you Mrs. DD12's last name?". Didn't seem to remember my voice or get the connection.

Quite a shock when the professor who taught the course on IEP compliance walked into the meeting the next day- as the mother of the child she was trying to illegally restrict services. I simply asked her what grade she received in this specific course, and if she remembered anything from the course, given that grade.

If I had only had a camera......and, we got everything we wanted that day. And, imagine this- we continue to have NO problems during IEP meetings!

 

[scottsod]

we just had an iep meeting for my ds 11 with c/p aspergers mainstreamed with an aid
doin good in class 2nd honours 2 x this year so far! but needs social skill and life skill its been in his ipe for 2 years with no class offered just 1 on 1 with with school psyc. once a week

anyway we ask to move to private school. they send us to see 3 school way out of district that are way to restrictive and lower func. kids.

we see all 3 and decline we offer ours wich he went to summer school at they say ok we go to iep they decline it and say beacuse its a school for the blind (but now its multi disabled) hes cant go cause there all blind.

so knowing we wont take no for an answer they all of a sudden offer a social skill /life skill program for 2 afternoons a week in another indisctrict school that we could never find existed before(miracles) so far so good but 3 months of hoops to get what was in iep already at start of year.

as far as shocking iep meeting a few years back my son was evaluated and approved for a laptop for assistive tech for writing and it was never ordered.
basicly the cst lady at the time was to uninformed to fig out what to order(even after i printed out laptops from dell and hp from web to show her)

so we talked to a sympathetic school board member who stands up for disabled kids and she says come to the public (local television is there and paper) school board meeting tonight and stand up and give a speach(she told the superindendant that we were getting the shaft and we were gone be there that night to make a stink) so we go my wife gets up and gives a speach choking back tears about our son and tell the super. YOU TRY DOING YOUR JOB ALL YEAR WITH A PENCIL THATS BROKEN IN 1/2 AND WRIGHTING YOUR REPORTS) thats what my son is like doing his school work with out this laptop and software. after she gets done he appologizes and bingo pulls a laptop out of a bag and gives it to us. well my wife says into the mic i dont want your apology i want you to come down here and apologize to my son on his level as he was the one wrong was done to and the guy did!!

 

[bookwormde]

Val

I hope you had a "talk" with the special ed director for the district and let it be know that you would be watching to make sure this level of intentional non compliance was no occurring anywhere else in the district. And yes I would have loved to see the reaction.
Scottsod,
The school that your child is attending is required to set up a social skills program (you do not have to move him around). Michelle Garcia Winner is going to be in Philadelphia in April so they cannot say the training is not available.
bookwormde

 

[Val]

Bookwormde, I did indeed have that talk. I am also now on one of the committees for the district, and am active in the PTO.....keeps me in the school with eyes and ears wide open. I find it is not the teachers or building principals who won't or can't, but the higher administration who sets up the road blocks, at least in my district.

I have a bad habit of carrying the parent's rights and responsibilities booklet with me....and hand it out as needed. I am also quite willing to talk to any parent who wants a pep talk.

In general, we have an excellent school district run by competent and caring people. I think that, particularly in this budget crisis, they short the people who don't know to speak up because of a severe shortage in services. I know that our district alone is down about 10 million dollars in funding from the state, most of it special education dollars. Hard to run a program when the promised paycheck doesn't come.....our district will be RIF'ing almost 250 teachers and teacher assistants, as well as a bunch of administrators this spring.....budgets are terrible, and special education is SO expensive. I understand the temptations to start cutting corners, but it is NOT legal and NOT morally right......so keep fighting the good fight no matter where you are......this IS a fight worth winning.

 

[Kat77]

We should start a bus brigade. Charter a bus for a month and a whole group of us from the DIS go from CSE meeting to CSE meeting as friends wiith other parents. I'd be more than happy to be a distraction.

Just wanted to say THIS thought has kept me amused for days

You know, they could not handle us...

We'd quickly be disbanded by the government as some sort of lunatic fringe cult. Lime green mickey heads would be splashed across national news sites as something to be feared and destroyed.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Just wanted to say THIS thought has kept me amused for days

You know, they could not handle us...

We'd quickly be disbanded by the government as some sort of lunatic fringe cult. Lime green mickey heads would be splashed across national news sites as something to be feared and destroyed.

The Headline "Anarchy Reigns:Informed Parents Must be Stopped!!" film at 11.

I would play the part of my son during the meetings. "Why did you say you can't give me a plan" "My mommy and mama says we don't say can't" "Did you know can't is really cannot" Lather, rinse repeat over and over and over.... and then I might start yelling uncontrollably when they tell me to stop. "But you're not listening to me!!!!"

 

[bookwormde]

Val,
Your experience matches mine. If the teachers and school administrators do not want to help it is because the lack knowledge about the need or way to meet it or their responsibility under IDEA, District and state are all about the $ and administrative convenience.
Be aware that the state was not allowed to reduce SPED ed $ this year if they took the SPED stimulus $.
It is interesting that well developed and run programs are much less expensive in the long run that what most schools are doing now.
I do a lot of state level IDEA regulatory advocacy (including federal filings) so I see it at all levels.
One other area of need is good volunteer ESPs, since these are the kids most at risk.
Thanks for all you do.
bookwormde

 

[millerpjm]

Just wanted to say that I got a couple of good chuckles out of this thread!

I went through the IEP qualification meetings a couple of months ago - DS (with ADHD) did not qualify for an IEP, and the school psychologist (who met DS twice and worked with him one-on-one and did not observe him in the classroom) also tried to say he didn't even need accommodations under section 504 - we'd just "make do without a formal plan". Mama Bear did come out, and I talked circles around that psychologist until he caved! I felt so proud of myself that day for talking circles around a psychologist!