I do not feel the folks who make bad choices are completely devoid of responsibility and I also do not assume they lack remorse; I certainly do not feel it's quite cut & dry either. I feel this behavior is part of the spectrum of what we not recognize to be behavioral disorders that trigger addiction to things like alcoholism and gambling. Sure most people like a little here & there but is a definite difference in people who will self destruct because they can't say no. Like with Alcohol some individuals are hardwired to be able to abstain and some people simply are not.. sad thing is you don't know who you are until you give it a try and for some one sip later is already too late. There are laws to protect us from addictive stuff but some laws, especially in the financial world, have been repealed and many just ignored or if not ignored simply not enforced due to complexity and lack of awareness and manpower. Most of the dangerous stuff like alcohol, gambling and such are limited to to those over 21, when people are presumably better able to navigate the pitfalls; hard core addictive substances are usually outright outlawed and there are lots of support groups for victims of the dealers who exploit them. Things like food & money, well they are always there because they are necessary but even then we have the FDA to protect us with food. Think about how Coco cola used to contain actual cocaine, it's crazy but how equipped are people to deal with it if that had been allowed to be continually dumped into our lives? I sort of think of the financial situation to be just as addictive & the exploiters as dealers. Sure, now it's easy to say, 'Just don't drink from the cup,' but hind-site is always 20/20 - NOW we all know where the rabbit hole leads and standing outside the hole it's easy to point down and say its the fault of the person who fell in, but I don't think it helps. Pointing fingers makes it seem as if this is a case by case individual person problem & I just reject that because it takes the focus away from what is wrong in the process & what is wrong is not the free market system, what is wrong is allowing financial drug dealers to deal while remaining untouchable to usury laws. I clearly remember being sold on credit when I was in college & there was virtually no info on the practice; my applications certainly lacked the BLACK BOX warning they deserved. If you didn't come from a family that cautioned you then you had no idea & I did not have that; I only knew because I studied it but most people were completely exploited & lulled by the notion that banks wouldn't hurt themselves so they wouldn't give it to me if it was a bad idea. Too big to fail means they weren't worried AT ALL & we were sooooo very very wrong... if only we knew then what the banks knew :l Bankruptcy laws were set up so that the banks would get slammed by losses if they made bad choices exploiting people, now that people can't file bankruptcy and banks can declare that money owed them as ongoing assets even if they KNOW it's bad debt & they will never see a dime, they have ABSOLUTELY ZERO reason to abstain from making bad extensions of credit. Check out some of the Financial type movies and think about how people's day to day thinking was exploited, it's vile. After the Depression laws were painstakingly laid out to prevent exploitation (including bankruptcy laws) but the siren call was strong and as my grandmothers generation aged out the memories faded & we forgot so when the 70's hit the wolves were at the door with offers of paradise outside & so many regular people stepped outside.... today they are the wolves mercy and the wolves laugh all day long. I think its tempting to think that wealth follows intelligence so if a family is making $200 K or up they should know better but that's not how it always works. Yes, most of the time the more you have the more you save but this is not necessarily true when wealth/disposable income via instant access of pretty brightly colors credit cards minus the black box warning of interest rates and other negative impacts follows you around in your wallet 24/7. It would be different if every card had a microchip that would tell the holder the true cost of using a credit card for a purchase that would calculate ahd show the buyer the extrapolated price extended over 5-10 years. For ex, if the cards were forced to display the 'TRUE COST' of that sale item.
Check this out, it explains the drive fairly well although it does not take into account the variable of credit which would cause so many variances in disposable income that it would likely demand a new graph sit on top of every single point along the line because that starting point drastically influences a persons behaviors... still it's a useful starting point.
ttp://
www.investopedia.com/terms/m/marginalpropensitytoconsume.asp
There is a real & dangerous psychological push towards spending which is ingrained in all of us, some more so than others & that drive will be exploited.
Not saying I there is zero responsibility with the over spender, just saying it's not quite as simple as laying all the blame at their feet either.
No worries, this topic is boring beyond belief to most
I urge caution. I and others I know who have tried to help out friends or family in exactly the same situation (including giving money - which I WILL NOT do ever again) and worrying sick 
for them, once they saw the wiggle room in their budget they bought something insane (Boat 
, fancy car 
, land for a vacation house 
- wish I was kidding). Not making enough money was NEVER the problem. These situations sound oh so similar to your friend's - they made plenty of money. The debt came from not living within their means - which was a LOT OF FUN for them until REALITY caught up with them. Again, once they had the breathing room they easily plunged right back into the wonderful FANTASY WORLD where money is in endless supply and tomorrow is too far in the future to worry about. 
And as a stay at home mom most of my conversation is based around who hit who and potty training.
