Free Kate

[chobie]

An 18 year old having sex with a 14 yo is by definition a sex offender.

So is a 17 year old having sex with a 15 year old. If you read about a 17 and a 15 year old, would you feel the same way about it?

 

[chobie]

I'd be furious either way. I certainly wouldn't be in the national news about it. I'd be trying to handle it quietly in the best way for my child.

Sadly, it has become a "cause".

Has it really? Or is that just the defendant's parents doing anything possible to clear their daughter's name?

Has PFLAG or any other gay rights group weighed in on this? Or are you just assuming all the gay rights advocates are going to be taking situation up as a "cause " because the girl's parents are trying to spin this ad a gay rights issue?

 

[chobie]

You are probably right. I have both ages, 14 and 18. I be furious if it was my 14, girl or boy. I would also be furious with my 18 year old if she had sex with a 14 year old, girl or boy. Having both ages I know the age gap is too big. It's also against the law! It has nothing to do with gay or straight, the 14 year old is too young. She needed protecting and her parents did just that. I would like to think I would do the same.

I wouldn't have wanted my 14 year olds having sex with anyone because neither of my kids at that age were mature enough to handle it.

But my brother dated an 18 year old girl when he was 15. They had a sexual relationship that lasted about 3 years. We all considered her to be a nice girl. To look back on now and see her as a sexual offender/abuser seems odd to me.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Has it really? Or is that just the defendant's parents doing anything possible to clear their daughter's name?

Has PFLAG or any other gay rights group weighed in on this? Or are you just assuming all the gay rights advocates are going to be taking situation up as a "cause " because the girl's parents are trying to spin this ad a gay rights issue?

1.) The parents doing "anything possible" has taken this case over the top. I'm not assuming anything. The case has been spun. Calling this a gay rights issue when it's clearly a legal issue that has been applied to heteros for years, is trying to use public sentiment to sway the case. That's just wrong. Orientation shouldn't play into this case at all. BUT it has. It's just wrong.

2.) If the parents are truly concerned about the life altering effects of a conviction, they would also be concerned about the effects national attention this case has received and how it could impact their daughter in years to come.

 

[skatalite]

If I had a 14-year-old high schooler who was having sex with a fellow high schooler, there'd be a good deal of things I'd do before going to the police.

I'd want to know, first and foremost, if she/he was a willing participant.

I'd want to know if they were being safe. And then I'd take steps to make them even safer.

I'd want to know when it began, and when he/she is finding time to do this.

If I don't already know the second person in the tango, I'd want to meet him/her. If they want to have a relationship with my teen, then they have to have familiarity with my wife and I. I will know everything about him/her.

I'd like to think, when I do have teenagers, that my wife and I would have done a good job at raising them to be self-respecting, respectful, honest and kind individuals. If I have no reason to mistrust my teen, then I'd have to accept the fact that they're growing up faster than I would like, and I'd do my best to keep the teens educated so they can make better-informed decisions.

The cops, in this situation, would be the last resort.

 

[skatalite]

1.) The parents doing "anything possible" has taken this case over the top. I'm not assuming anything. The case has been spun. Calling this a gay rights issue when it's clearly a legal issue that has been applied to heteros for years, is trying to use public sentiment to sway the case. That's just wrong. Orientation shouldn't play into this case at all. BUT it has. It's just wrong.

They're just working the system. And good for them — I'd do the same thing if I felt my child didn't deserve what was coming to them. I think most parents would.

 

[punkin]

I wouldn't have wanted my 14 year olds having sex with anyone because neither of my kids at that age were mature enough to handle it.

But my brother dated an 18 year old girl when he was 15. They had a sexual relationship that lasted about 3 years. We all considered her to be a nice girl. To look back on now and see her as a sexual offender/abuser seems odd to me.

...nevertheless she was a sexual abuser.

 

[OceanAnnie]

They're just working the system. And good for them — I'd do the same thing if I felt my child didn't deserve what was coming to them. I think most parents would.

Why doesn't she deserve to have the same laws applied as heteros? That is the key question.

 

[skatalite]

...nevertheless she was a sexual abuser.

Wrong, because the term abuse denotes forced action. In the case you replied to, nothing was forced about it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Wrong, because the term abuse denotes forced action. In the case you replied to, nothing was forced about it.

Not so. Age of consent applies here. The victim is a child. If you say please to a child and break the law, you have still broken the law.

 

[skatalite]

Why doesn't she deserve to have the same laws applied as heteros? That is the key question.

Oh, she does because it's the law. But who would want their otherwise good child to be slapped with the stigma and title of sex offender for, potentially, the rest of his/her life?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Oh, she does because it's the law. But who would want their otherwise good child to be slapped with the stigma and title of sex offender for, potentially, the rest of his/her life?

The law does not take into account "otherwise good child" when it comes to cases like this. It's cut and dry. The "stigma" has been slapped on many 18 year olds for the rest of their lives for the same offense. Were you taking up for those cases too? Kate was warned. She helped the victim run away. She made a lot of mistakes. It's time to pay the piper.

 

[luvsJack]

An 18 year old having sex with a 14 yo is by definition a sex offender.

By the law yes but it is the opinion of some that the law is flawed.

I don't see that two teens dating and deciding together to have sex should make one a sex offender. Should they make that decision? No but many do. There are many 14 year olds that simply are not these innocent little easily swayed kids that are being manipulated by the big bad seniors. Was the girl in this case? I don't know but maybe she isn't.

 

[skatalite]

Not so. Age of consent applies here. The victim is a child. If you say please to a child and break the law, you have still broken the law.

But the law simply says a 14-year-old can't consent, even if the teen says they did consent. It's a main qualifier that differentiates it from more cruel sex crimes. It's why there are various degrees of sexual assault, i.e. first degree rape, first degree sexual assault, etc.

 

[skatalite]

The law does not take into account "otherwise good child" when it comes to cases like this. It's cut and dry. The "stigma" has been slapped on many 18 year olds for the rest of their lives for the same offense. Were you taking up for those cases too? Kate was warned. She helped the victim run away. She made a lot of mistakes. It's time to pay the piper.

I never suggested the law taking into account anything other than the facts. That's how laws are enforced, after all.

What I did suggest was that parents would take into account everything else, and work hard for their child if they deemed it worthy or necessary.

Let's pretend you have an 18-year-old son, beginning his senior year of high school. Good kid. And his sophomore girlfriend is 15. They love one another, they say, and you find out they have a sexual relationship when the police come to your door because her parents wish to press charges against your son for statutory rape.

Would you not do everything in your being to fight for your child? Or would you say, "Well, son, it's the law. You made your bed, now sleep in it."

 

[luvsJack]

Why doesn't she deserve to have the same laws applied as heteros? That is the key question.

This is the case that is in the news so it is the one being discussed but being gay or straight has nothing to do with it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

But the law simply says a 14-year-old can't consent, even if the teen says they did consent. It's a main qualifier that differentiates it from more cruel sex crimes. It's why there are various degrees of sexual assault, i.e. first degree rape, first degree sexual assault, etc.

It doesn't matter if the 14 year old consented or not. The 14 year old is a child. Why the spectacle? Why not take the plea deal? Why not let the court decide without the theatrics?

Working the system might backfire on Kate. She might wish she had taken the plea deal. Then what was it all for? She's taking a big gamble. I think she should have the same laws applied. But she could have lightened her outcome if she had "worked the system" that was an avenue within the system.

In the end, it's about her. Not a cause. I do feel sorry for her because I think she is being exploited willingly, but exploited just the same. She made some mistakes. She can overcome them. But if I were her parent, I would have encouraged her to take the plea deal and keep it quiet if she were hetero or otherwise. She has to live with the outcome not the circus that surrounds this case.

 

[chobie]

Plea bargaining is the way our legal system works. Doesn't mean she's not an abuser. Just means that it's cheaper and easier to plead her out.

Right, because all prosecutors are lazy hacks who don't care about doing justice?

I think he's using his discretion as a prosecutor and realizing this may be a violation of the law but hardly the crime of the century. And this particular defendant is not so much a threat to society and a predator of children but rather a high school student who made a bad choice.

 

[crayon3448]

I never suggested the law taking into account anything other than the facts. That's how laws are enforced, after all.

What I did suggest was that parents would take into account everything else, and work hard for their child if they deemed it worthy or necessary.

Let's pretend you have an 18-year-old son, beginning his senior year of high school. Good kid. And his sophomore girlfriend is 15. They love one another, they say, and you find out they have a sexual relationship when the police come to your door because her parents wish to press charges against your son for statutory rape.

Would you not do everything in your being to fight for your child? Or would you say, "Well, son, it's the law. You made your bed, now sleep in it."

As a parent, I would have made sure both me and my child knew the consequences- which Kate's parent's didn't do, they approved of the relationship and did not think of the law. The parents had no idea that this could happen. Sorry, bad parenting there.

 

[moon]

I think here is the problem, I would consider an 18 yo having sex with a 14 year old to be sexual abuse and I would definitely report it as such, law or no law. In this case, especially (because of the running away). However, many people on this thread don't consider this to be sexual abuse.

Yeah, I read the posts saying "My grandmother married at 15" or "In other countries the age of consent is so and so."

Well, I bet that when all these child-brides married, it was also legal for children to work 12 hours a day. It still legal for minors to work long hours in many countries. Things have changed and laws have been created to protect children -and a 14 year old is a child.

In the affidavit you can read that the 14 year old was a virgin when she met Kaitlyn. I think that takes care of the notion of this 14 year old starting anything or being "sophisticated"

Years from now, I wonder how she will feel when she remembers her first sexual experience was in a dirty public bathroom...