Fraternities And Sororities.

[SanFranciscan]

What is your impression of fraternities and sororites? Have you ever belonged to one?

I heard that they were actually banned on some college campuses, but I have been working for the state university system for about seven months now. Fraternities and sororities do set up tables at the beginnings of semesters. Those tables I sometimes walk past are the only indication that these organizations exist on the campus so apparently there are no houses affliated with them. Someone my age can make people so young uneasy if I start asking questions just out of curiousity because they do assume that I am some professor or something and give guarded answers. I am not trying to do them harm. I am just curious.

What were your experiences with the Greek system if you were a part of it? Even if I had gone to university instead of vocational school, I don't think that I would have sought membership because I was just not a club-joining kind of girl. I made my friends in my classes.

I do realize that some fraternal organizations really crossed the line with their mistreatment of people seeking membership because some of this has come to the attention of the media, and there have been allegations of racial discrimination. Yet there have long been and continue to be black fraternities and soroities so I am not quite sure what the problem was there, but something happened.

Did you ever belong to a fraternity or sorority? Would you encourage your child to join? I don't understand the appeal if the youngsters at the university that I work for don't even get a place to live out of the deal if they join.

 

[Sparx]

i'm a college student, and my campus has a greek row, but only the fraternities have houses. sororities don't.

the horror stories from my particular campus could curl your hair.

i can think of one particular fraternity who gets "teased" by other fraternity members by yelling their name and then "no means no" referencing all the non consensual sex that takes place there.

i can think of another that, when i was in high school, would knowingly bring 15, 16, 17 year olds in to have sex with and spend the night.

could these incidents be localized to my campus? yes. are they? i doubt it.

i really feel like the whole system needs to be revamped to more heavily police them, and to prevent and punish these actions.

i would never join a sorority.

 

[Swmr359]

I was is a Sorority in college. Mine was a good experience for me, before joining I was so shy I couldn't talk to people. I'm still shy, but I can talk to people. It isn't for everyone, but it worked out well for me!
Before making assumptions about sororities you should check them out. Also remember that every school is different and a bad group at one school may be an awsome group at another school.

 

[Rafiki31]

Depends upon the school, at my college (big school 30 thousand students) greek life made up about 4% of the population, meaning it was looked upon as for people who hd no friends and needed to buy some. At other schools, where greek life makes up say 70% of the student body, it is a whole different story, and a totally normal part of college life.


So you need to research the school to get the whole picture. I hear it is pretty big in the south.

 

[Sparx]

I was is a Sorority in college. Mine was a good experience for me, before joining I was so shy I couldn't talk to people. I'm still shy, but I can talk to people. It isn't for everyone, but it worked out well for me!
Before making assumptions about sororities you should check them out. Also remember that every school is different and a bad group at one school may be an awsome group at another school.

i definitely agree.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I partied at alot of Fraternities when I was at college University of Missouri-Columbia. Probably with Brad Pitt somewhere in there.

I also did 1 day of "rush". It is just not for me.

We have a large Greek system at the university we went to. Lots of houses. I know some people love them and some people could care less. My dd is a freshman there now.

Here is a link if you want to look at some of the houses....

http://www.mizzouifc.com/page.php?page_id=19767

 

[aprilgail2]

My impression of them is a group of bullys that are all banded together! That and drinking and sex.

 

[AshleyW]

i'm a college student, and my campus has a greek row, but only the fraternities have houses. sororities don't.

the horror stories from my particular campus could curl your hair.

i can think of one particular fraternity who gets "teased" by other fraternity members by yelling their name and then "no means no" referencing all the non consensual sex that takes place there.

i can think of another that, when i was in high school, would knowingly bring 15, 16, 17 year olds in to have sex with and spend the night.

could these incidents be localized to my campus? yes. are they? i doubt it.

i really feel like the whole system needs to be revamped to more heavily police them, and to prevent and punish these actions.

i would never join a sorority.

Unfortunately, that's how a lot of the greek houses on my campus are, as well. Granted, I'm at the University of Iowa.. consistently listed on polls of big "party schools" in the country - #12 this year, according to the Princeton Review. But yeah, I know several people in sororities and fraternities here.. and it's a lot of bar crawls, (usually underage) drinking, sleeping around and drugs. I will give them some credit - they do quite a bit of charity events throughout the year, which is nice. But usually the negative things I hear/witness outweigh the good.

 

[Sparx]

Unfortunately, that's how a lot of the greek houses on my campus are, as well. Granted, I'm at the University of Iowa.. consistently listed on polls of big "party schools" in the country - #12 this year, according to the Princeton Review. But yeah, I know several people in sororities and fraternities here.. and it's a lot of bar crawls, (usually underage) drinking, sleeping around and drugs. I will give them some credit - they do quite a bit of charity events throughout the year, which is nice. But usually the negative things I hear/witness outweigh the good.

my school is pretty high on the party list too. i'm sure that has something to do with it, and school's who's party scene is not as prevalent is a completely different experience.

 

[DisneyDayTripper]

My school didn't allow them and my experience of them has been something that I wouldn't have wanted to be a part of anyway. I did ask a co-worker once if rush was something similar to what they show on TV or in the movies and he acted like a complete tool about it and said "I'm not allowed to tell you that." Like I was some sort of secret agent sent on a mission by some other fraternity to get any information and leak it to them. He acted like he was all cool and when he walked away my co-workers and I were kind of like "wow, what a complete jerk."

I know stereotyping a large group by my own personal experiences is wrong, but if everyone else that is in his frat is like him they're all tools and if the requirement for member ship is that you have to be a complete d-bag...then count me out of wanting to have anything to do with them.

 

[Rora]

I went to University of Florida- the #1 party school this year. I was in a Sorority and my experience was awful.

The girls were catty, it was expensive, I did things I didn't really want to do so I wouldn't upset my 'sisters', etc.

Thankfully, I had a boyfriend (now my fiance) who kept me pretty grounded- it's easy to get caught up in Greek life, not study, just party, etc. But some of those girls really blew it for themselves and I do believe it was because they were in a Sorority and just lost control because it was easy to do so and you were almost encouraged to do so.

As far as Frats go- Gross. Just gross. All the frat boys did at UF was drink and trash their house. I had a terrible experience at a party where I was date raped by a frat brother. Of course this could happen to anyone, anywhere, not in the Greek system but it has forever shaped my perceptions of Fraternities although I know not every Brother is a bad guy.

I'm sure everyone has a different experience. It really depends on where your school is, what sorority you are in, etc. I would NOT encourage my child to join simply because of my experience.

Sorry if this was too personal!

 

[sahm1000]

I was a member of a sorority and loved every minute of it! I graduated in 1996 and live around 1000 miles from my old university and most of my sorority sisters. Despite the 13 years and 1000 miles I am still friends with my sisters. We still get together every couple of years, celebrate weddings, births of children and pray together when one of our sisters this last year was diagnosed with cancer while 13 weeks pregnant with her fourth child.

I've heard all of the comments about "buying" friends......but truthfully the dues we paid were less than the room and board in the dorms. And the sorority house that I lived in was a beautiful state protected historic home that was professionally cleaned and our cook's food was MUCH better than anything the cafeteria ever served.

My sorority was a national sorority (as opposed to a local sorority that has no national affiliation and doesn't report to anyone) and did not allow any hazing. And as far as I know, none of the other sororities on my campus hazed either. We have an affiliation with Juvenile Diabetes and raised money on their behalf. I remember decorating a Senior Citizen's home for Christmas each year along with a campus fraternity. Our sorority's average GPA was 3.36 on a 4.0 scale. We had mandatory study hours each week.

Socially, we were very active. We had "exchanges" every Thursday with different fraternity. It was a great way to get to meet people. Yes there was dancing and alcohol but no one was forced to drink or participate in anything they didn't want to do. In fact, we strongly discouraged girls from sleeping around and being "sloppy" drunk. I am certain that the structure provided helped many girls who were on their own for the first time.

As the mother of 3 girls I strongly hope that my girls will go Greek when they enter college. I cannot give a stronger recommendation than that!

 

[jodifla]

I went to University of Florida- the #1 party school this year. I was in a Sorority and my experience was awful.

The girls were catty, it was expensive, I did things I didn't really want to do so I wouldn't upset my 'sisters', etc.

Thankfully, I had a boyfriend (now my fiance) who kept me pretty grounded- it's easy to get caught up in Greek life, not study, just party, etc. But some of those girls really blew it for themselves and I do believe it was because they were in a Sorority and just lost control because it was easy to do so and you were almost encouraged to do so.

As far as Frats go- Gross. Just gross. All the frat boys did at UF was drink and trash their house. I had a terrible experience at a party where I was date raped by a frat brother. Of course this could happen to anyone, anywhere, not in the Greek system but it has forever shaped my perceptions of Fraternities although I know not every Brother is a bad guy.

I'm sure everyone has a different experience. It really depends on where your school is, what sorority you are in, etc. I would NOT encourage my child to join simply because of my experience.

Sorry if this was too personal!

I was in a sorority at UF. My experience was the polar opposite of yours.

Love my sorority, was a fraternity little sister, had a great, great, great time, and I'm still friends with many of the girls. We're planning a reunion next summer.

In fact, I'm STILL involved in my sorority. We have one of the stronger alum networks in the country, and I've been a member in 4 different cities as I've moved. It's a wonderful way to meet people.

sorry your experience was so bad. the fraternity situation sounds horrible! D

 

[DisneyGirl421]

We have a HUGE Greek population on my campus. The stats in the guide books say its only around 36% Greek, but what they don't tell you is students can't rush until sophomore year first semester. In a school of 2500, that's roughly 700 people you are leaving out. In the 1800 students left, the statistics are closer to 80% Greek, in 10 fraternities and 8 sororities.
I am one of the non-Greek people. I had thought about it, but by the time sophomore year came, I already had my friends, and no one was rushing. I just wasn't into it.

As far as the 'party' aspect of the Greek system, that totally happens. Gettysburg is definitely considered a party school. With 10 different frat houses, each weekend has at least 5 houses open for parties, most of the time more. I think we've been listed as one of the biggest small-college party colleges. I've only ever been inside 4 of the houses, as the other ones are kinda sketch or have bad reputations.

Being non-Greek on such a huge Greek-based college is not such a big deal though. I have friends in almost every fraternity or sorority, and it really doesn't matter. True, there are the rival houses and such, and the stereotypes of the Frat Boy and Sorority Girl are seen ALL over campus, but I still love it here!

 

[jodifla]

I was a member of a sorority and loved every minute of it! I graduated in 1996 and live around 1000 miles from my old university and most of my sorority sisters. Despite the 13 years and 1000 miles I am still friends with my sisters. We still get together every couple of years, celebrate weddings, births of children and pray together when one of our sisters this last year was diagnosed with cancer while 13 weeks pregnant with her fourth child.

I've heard all of the comments about "buying" friends......but truthfully the dues we paid were less than the room and board in the dorms. And the sorority house that I lived in was a beautiful state protected historic home that was professionally cleaned and our cook's food was MUCH better than anything the cafeteria ever served.

My sorority was a national sorority (as opposed to a local sorority that has no national affiliation and doesn't report to anyone) and did not allow any hazing. And as far as I know, none of the other sororities on my campus hazed either. We have an affiliation with Juvenile Diabetes and raised money on their behalf. I remember decorating a Senior Citizen's home for Christmas each year along with a campus fraternity. Our sorority's average GPA was 3.36 on a 4.0 scale. We had mandatory study hours each week.

Socially, we were very active. We had "exchanges" every Thursday with different fraternity. It was a great way to get to meet people. Yes there was dancing and alcohol but no one was forced to drink or participate in anything they didn't want to do. In fact, we strongly discouraged girls from sleeping around and being "sloppy" drunk. I am certain that the structure provided helped many girls who were on their own for the first time.

As the mother of 3 girls I strongly hope that my girls will go Greek when they enter college. I cannot give a stronger recommendation than that!

You make a lot of great points.

In my sorority as well, you had to make grades to stay in. We had a lot of study groups. And there were moral standards as well....this was back in the late 70s...nobody cared what you did, but you needed to keep it private. Being drunk in public was definitely frowned upon.

And a lot of our year was devoted to service and raising money for charities....this is the main part of what our alum group does now.

 

[fall08CP]

I am in a sorority and have had really great experiences so far. I go to a small-ish private school and about 20% of campus is greek. Greeks have a pretty big presence though and we are very united no matter what letters we wear. I've become close to some really awesome, genuine girls with a passion for service. While partying is still present, we do about 2 service events for every party, and more sisters show up for the service events than parties (I don't go to frat parties at all and that's okay).

It's a great way to be involved on campus, opportunities for leadership and service, and a close group of friends for life. Our dues are pretty cheap as we only have locals (no nationals) and they go directly towards formals, philanthropy, t-shirts for special events, recruitment activities, etc. My parents were wary when I rushed but they are really glad that I joined.

As stated earlier, Greek organizations vary by campus so just because someone had a bad experience with one doesn't mean that will happen wherever you go, and vice versa. It's flawed like any student organization. Before I went Greek, I was on a sports team, and the athletes were much bigger partiers and they did nothing to give back to the community... that's part of the reason I went greek. There's a website called greek chat and they have a lot of info about greek life for potential rushees.

 

[MomofKatie]

I was a member of a sorority at college in the mid 80's. It isn't for everyone, but I loved my experience. I made friendships that, over 20 years later, are still going strong. I never experienced hazing or other bad behavior. Sure, we girls had fun and partied, just like every other student, Greek or not, on campus. But we also raised a lot of money and awareness for our philanthropy. We held one of the highest average GPA's of all organizations on campus, and we had many student leaders in our chapter. I would definitely encourage my DD to check out the Greek organizations when she goes to college- I benefitted from my association with my sorority.

 

[browneyes106]

I wasn't in a sorority but my cousin who also attended the same college as me was in one. Her sorority was well managed and I became friends with some of her sorority sisters. There were a few fraternities and sororities on campus that had reputations.