For Those of You Who NEVER Tip in a Restaurant

[disneychrista]

I think the system that exists makes no sense. I would love to see the restaurant industry do away with tipping. Raise the prices 15 or 20% and pay the servers a realistic wage. Restaurants are one of the only places where the customers are fully expected to essentially pay the salary of the workers directly, rather than indirectly through purchasing goods and services

I completely agree!!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I am a average to good tipper. I usually tip 20%+ for good service and it goes up from there. I will also tip 10% or below for bad service. I have left no tip for a waitress before, but here is that story:

DH and I walked into a family restaurant with 2 DDs (6 and 3). We were seated immediately as it was early; the restaurant was not crowded. 5 minutes later (and I am not exaggerating), I asked the hostess if our server knew someone was in her section. 3 minutes later, our waitress fnally shows up to take our drink/appetizer order. We gave her our drink order (all non-alcoholic drinks) and tried to give our food order, but she cut us off and said she'd get our food order when she brought our drinks. As I looked at DH incredulously, the older couple in the booth behind DH (also in our server's section) gave a sympathetic smile and headshake. I knew then it was going to be a long meal. After another 5 minutes she brings our drinka and takes our food order. When she reads it back she has it totally messed up, so we repeated it. the second time she read it back correctly. We actually got our food in a timely manner since someone else delivered it to the table. Of course we had to ask HIM for silverware and napkins since our actual waitress had not bothered to bring those to our table. He was back in a flash with silverware adn napkins and extra napkins. She NEVER came by during the meal to see how we were doing. When we were done, DH took DDs outside to walk around while I flagged down our server asking for the check. Another 3 minutes later she brings the check. She turns to walk away, and I stopped her. I quickly scanned the bill then handed her my credit card. In the time it took her to run my card and return to the table with my receipt, I had time to write this entire story on the comment card! I gave about an 8% tip, then walked to the front of the restaurant with the bill and comment card in my hand and asked to speak to the manager. I told him the whole story and requested that the money I left for a tip be given to the person who brought out our food, and not our waitress. By the time I walked around the outside of the restaurant to meet DH and DDS, I saw the manager approaching our waitress thru the windows!

The flip side is last night we went to a different family restaurant, had wonderful service, told the waiter and the manager, left a 25 to 30% tip, then logged on to their feedback site (on the receipt) and left a glowing review there as well. We will back to that restaurant again and ask to be seated in that waiter's section!

 

[chobie]

I always tip but I don't like how it's done. If I order a $5 hamburger and a glass of water and someone else orders a $40 lobster and drink, it's not any harder to carry that lobster then the hamburger. So why the higher tip?? That has never made sense to me.

I am on the thrifty side but if I hade a $4.00 breakfast, I would leave at least $2or 3. That's way over 15 or 20%. And again that breakfast is not any harder to serve then a simple lunch that costs 2x as much and deserves a higher tip. What am I missing?

Gina

The custom is to tip on the percentage. Servers working in a $40 lobster place had to work their way up to that postion by working in hamburger joints and/or bussing at the lobster place. Think of it as a raise. By working hard at the hamburger joint and getting a good reccomendation you may then get "promoted" by getting a job at a $40 lobster place. There is also much more detailing of the tables and knowledge of the food and wine that is necessary at an expensive restarunat that is not requited at the hamburger place.

 

[magicfan]

If people who do not tip were to get a job where tips are part of thier income, for one weekend, they would surely change thier minds about not tipping others in the future.
edited to fix a spelling mistake.

 

[gopherit]

The custom is to tip on the percentage. Servers working in a $40 lobster place had to work their way up to that postion by working in hamburger joints and/or bussing at the lobster place. Think of it as a raise. By working hard at the hamburger joint and getting a good reccomendation you may then get "promoted" by getting a job at a $40 lobster place. There is also much more detailing of the tables and knowledge of the food and wine that is necessary at an expensive restarunat that is not requited at the hamburger place.

I agree that it is customary, and higher-end restaurants are also typically higher in their attention to detail (or should be!), but I also see some merit in the other poster's question.

Let's just take Outback Steakhouse, for example. I can either order a kid's Joey sirloin, or the Alice Springs chicken, or the New York strip. They all come on the same sized plate, but due to the nature of the dish, they range in price from 6 bucks to 12 to 19. If I am a dutiful tipper, I would tip 2 to three times more for the steak dinner. Now I've fixed ALice Springs Chicken before, and personally, it's a lot harder than a steak on the grill! And even if it weren't -- well, it's the cook that did the slavin' not the server. So one could make the argument that the tip is therefore misplaced (i.e., better intended for the cook!) Same goes for a drink from the bar. If I order a Coke, or I order a bourbon neat, it's liquid in a glass, but with a substantially different pricetag. Why do I tip more? And if I order a Long Island Iced Tea, or a specialty frozen drink, I would think my tip should go back to the bartender that made it -- not the server who carried from bar to table. So I can see both sides of this "percentage" argument and hence a flaw in the tipping system. (Just look at it from the opposite side -- why should a server be tipped LESS because you ordered cheap food?!? Didn't they still have to hoof it back and forth, and keep your glass filled, and bring you flatware to dine with? Is it their fault you elected to order the veggie pasta and water for your meal, instead of the seafood fettucine and the pricey red wine? It's still a glass and a plate and service after all -- but they won't get nearly as big a tip, on the "percentage" basis!) And just how DID we Americans ever arrive at it being "Percent of bill" ? Was it just the easiest way to calculate it?

One interesting side note -- there are lots of countries that do not engage inthe practice of tipping. I know when I lived in Australia, I tried to tip at a restaurant and a local told me no way -- you're not starting that custom over here!

Personally, I am a somewhat generous tipper, my husband is more the "norm" (he's a 15% man, pretty much straight down the boards, good or bad. I've been known to tip from around 10% to 30 or 35, just depending upon the service.)

 

[chobie]

I agree that it is customary, and higher-end restaurants are also typically higher in their attention to detail (or should be!), but I also see some merit in the other poster's question.

Let's just take Outback Steakhouse, for example. I can either order a kid's Joey sirloin, or the Alice Springs chicken, or the New York strip. They all come on the same sized plate, but due to the nature of the dish, they range in price from 6 bucks to 12 to 19. If I am a dutiful tipper, I would tip 2 to three times more for the steak dinner. Now I've fixed ALice Springs Chicken before, and personally, it's a lot harder than a steak on the grill! And even if it weren't -- well, it's the cook that did the slavin' not the server. So one could make the argument that the tip is therefore misplaced (i.e., better intended for the cook!) So I can see both sides of this "percentage" argument. And just how DID we Americans ever arrive at it being "Percent of bill" ? Was it just the easiest way to calculate it?

One interesting side note -- there are lots of countries that do not engage inthe practice of tipping. I know when I lived in Australia, I tried to tip at a restaurant and a local told me no way -- you're not starting that custom over here!

Personally, I am a somewhat generous tipper, my husband is more the "norm" (he's a 15% man, pretty much straight down the boards, good or bad. I've been known to tip from around 10% to 30 or 35, just depending upon the service.)

Who knows. Where do many of our customs start? What about commision on sales? Where did that start?

 

[Samirella]

In Europe, food prices in restaurants are higher. Waiters are paid by the restaurants. People still are expected to leave a "sweetener"...a small expression of gratitude. In the Caribbean, a service charge is added to the bill to take care of linens and breakage. Very little goes to the waitstaff so tipping is greatly appreciated. Some restaurants will explain that, some do not.

In Japan the prices for food are higher and tipping is not expected. There is no service charge. If you try to leave a tip, the server will give it back to you. It just isn't done. I don't understand why we don't do this in the states.

I was a bartender once, so I always tip very well...unless I get really bad service.

 

[ead79]

I can't imagine not tipping a server (except of course for horrible service)! That's something I just don't get.

I've heard people say before that they don't tip because they think the food is priced too high. Like the servers choose the price of the food or something. I think a long time ago someone might've even said on the Restaurants Board that they don't tip much at Disney because the food is so expensive. I'm totally the opposite. I tend to tip even more at Disney than I normally do because I tend to receive excellent service there.

While I'm sure some people (like elderly people) really don't know the procedure, I think that most non-tippers just care more about themselves and their wallets than they care about others. Very sad indeed.

 

[disneysteve]

Let me jump back in with some additional comments.

1. I agree that tipping based on the cost of the food has some faults. The labor involved serving the food is the same regardless of the cost of the meal (and I'm talking about within one restaurant, not comparing different places).

2. I think tipping the server based on the service is somewhat faulted because often bad service is not the server's fault. If it takes a while for your food to arrive, the problem is probably in the kitchen. If the food isn't prepared well or is cold, that isn't the server's fault either. The things that people often get upset about may be out of the server's control. If I have a problem with my service or my meal, I don't punish the server necessarily. But I will go speak to the manager and, if appropriate, request a reduction of my bill as compensation.

 

[disneychrista]

2. I think tipping the server based on the service is somewhat faulted because often bad service is not the server's fault. If it takes a while for your food to arrive, the problem is probably in the kitchen.... is cold, that isn't the server's fault either.

Well I am sure in at least half the cases the food being cold is the server's fault for not picking it up and getting it to the table quickly after it is done.

 

[disneysteve]

Well I am sure in at least half the cases the food being cold is the server's fault for not picking it up and getting it to the table quickly after it is done.

Certainly that may be the case. But I'm sure there are also times when the server wants to serve everyone at a table together and not everything is ready together. We've had times when one of our meals arrived cold and the other was just fine. Or the main course was hot but one of the sides wasn't even though they all arrived together. I don't see that as the server's fault. He/she just brings out what he/she is given.

Another point... If a server is slow getting to you, it may be that the management is trying to spread the service staff too thin, waiting on too many tables at once. Is that the server's fault? No, it's the management's fault so you shouldn't punish the server for doing the best they can given what they have to do. In that case, complain to the manager and tip the server for his/her effort.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I always tip 15% and sometimes 20%. The only time I have left NO tip was a few weeks ago.......I was at a Chinese restaurant and I asked the waitress at least *4* times to please bring me a refill of Coke. Well, another couple had just left and their drinks were on their table...she picked up a half full coke from their table and brought it to MY table!!!!!

I was LIVID!!!! I talked to the owner of the restaurant and he said that I must have "not seen correctly"!!! Whatever, no tip...I did pay my bill but I will NEVER patronize that "restaurant" again!!!!!

 

[mommytotwo]

My husband recently took a job as a manager in a company where most of the employees earn a tip based wage. They are valets and bellman. It is insane to me the way people treat them. They are always courteous, always helpful, always going above and beyond the call of duty. The average tip is $1. There are days that these guys only take home $20 each for a full 8 hour shift. It's pathetic. When it's busy, the managers help park and turn their tips over to the tip pool and then their guys make a bit better of a wage those days. There are LOTS of people out there who do not tip at all for these services. I would say the most people DON'T tip the valets and bellman. It's outrageous. And Sad.

Needless to say, we are VERY good tippers because we see every day the difference that can make in someone's life.

My DH is a valet runner and it is sad to see how much he brings home some nights in tips. The place that he works at gives free valet service so it is not required to tip, but at least a dollar or two. Some people don't tip or just gives out change. I could never see myself giving a valet or bellman change.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

I am not really good with figuring out the % of tipping in my head plus sometimes if I don't spend as much it seems like a very small amount. I have never left a tip under 5.00 (unless horrible service when I left NO tip...this has happended maybe four times in my life though). I did waitressing when I was a teen and was paid 2.13 an hour so tips made up alot of my paycheck. That was about eight years ago though so I don't know how much ya'll get paid now. I hated that job.

Little OT:

Anyone remember the episode of 'Third Rock from the Sun' when Mary and Dick went to the resturant? Dick didn't understand about tipping and when the waitress came he showed her a big stack of money. He told her that everytime she did something right he would put a bill in the "tip" pile and if she did something wrong he'd put a bill in "his" pile. If he thought the waitress was about to do something wrong, he'd place his hand over his pile and raise an eyebrow. He had the waitress running in circles and ended up getting thrown out of the resturant. Funniest episode I ever saw. I felt so bad for that poor waitress though.

 

[Kallison]

Can you spit in their coffee?

 

[Christine]

Who knows. Where do many of our customs start? What about commision on sales? Where did that start?

I understand sales commissions. Based on your personality, how well you know your product, and well you treat your customer (and convince them how good your product is), you make a sale. The company rewards salesman by giving them a percentage of everything they sell. Good salesmen often do extremely well in the $$$ department. Sales is a case where the salesman really does have to represent his product and get it out to the consumer. I don't think it can be compared to waiting tables. That is, unless of course, the restaurant management wants to give bonuses to their wait staff for encouraging staff to order alcoholic beverages and lobster dinners but "pitching" how wonderful they are during the ordering phase of the meal.

 

[chobie]

I understand sales commissions. Based on your personality, how well you know your product, and well you treat your customer (and convince them how good your product is), you make a sale. The company rewards salesman by giving them a percentage of everything they sell. Good salesmen often do extremely well in the $$$ department. Sales is a case where the salesman really does have to represent his product and get it out to the consumer. I don't think it can be compared to waiting tables. That is, unless of course, the restaurant management wants to give bonuses to their wait staff for encouraging staff to order alcoholic beverages and lobster dinners but "pitching" how wonderful they are during the ordering phase of the meal.

Actually its called suggestive selling and that is exactly what servers do. A restaurant will make more money if it has servers who know their wine and their food and can sell the higher end items, than if they just have servers who are content to let everyone order spaghetti marinara and water an not say a word. In my experiences those servers who did not up sell did not last long at any restaurant. Even though tipping may not make sense and its just another one of our strange customs, does that make it right to not tip?

 

[Beast fan]

There has only been 1 time that I did NOT leave a tip ....... and it was WELL deserved (also the last time I was at a Denny's)!!!

Typically, DW and I tip 15%, 20% for good service and up to 30% for exceptional service.

Dave

 

[disney4us2002]

I always tip 15% and sometimes 20%. The only time I have left NO tip was a few weeks ago.......I was at a Chinese restaurant and I asked the waitress at least *4* times to please bring me a refill of Coke. Well, another couple had just left and their drinks were on their table...she picked up a half full coke from their table and brought it to MY table!!!!!

I was LIVID!!!! I talked to the owner of the restaurant and he said that I must have "not seen correctly"!!! Whatever, no tip...I did pay my bill but I will NEVER patronize that "restaurant" again!!!!!

That is outrageous!! Thank goodness you saw her. If she did that in plain view what the heck were they doing in the back? Pouring other people's drinks into new glasses to 'save' the soda from being poured out. YUCK. I wouldn't go back there either.

To my recollection there is only one Diser that is a regular non-tipper but she has been hammered so many times that I doubt she'll post about it again. She doesn't believe in tipping. Whatever.

 

[totalia]

Tipping is not a requirement. And just serving us is YOUR job. It's not my job to make up for whatever money you don't make.

You have a job to do so do it without complaining.

I usually, however, do thank my waitress. IF (and only IF) the waitress goes beyond the call of simple duty to get something special or specific done for me, then she will get a tip. As will admirable attention to our needs (like our glasses never ending up empty because she is paying such close attention).

A tip is.. by Emily Post herself... not a requirement and only for Extraordinary service.