For Those of You Who NEVER Tip in a Restaurant

[chobie]

I've always wondered how people don't tip. I have been waiting tables for what seems like forever now. I know there are cheap people out there and some people that just don't know better (which are definitely in the minority now). I like to think that when people don't tip, it means they forgot. I know this isn't true, but it takes the sting out of the "wound" a little.

I had this table, it was a mother, daughter, and granddaughters. The bill was something like $47 and change. The woman came up to me and handed me money and said "This is for the bill". She then hands me $2 and says "This is for you". As she's walking out the door I counted the money and she paid the bill before tax even though I had circled the total. First, she gives me a tip of $2, which is degrading. And then she doesn't even cover the bill? I was so mad. I wanted to go up to her and ask if she worked for a tax deductible organization. I didn't, of course, but I was so mad. Even now, it bothers me a bit. Trust me, I would remember this lady had she ever come back.

Chatty- I just finished reading this great book. It's called "Waiting" and it is about this waitress who has been serving tables for 20 years. It was like reading my life story. I definitely recommend this book for all servers and even those who want to find out vicariously how servers feel.

That is a good book. I appreciate your positive attitude about non-tippers. I could never get there myself. Usually because I could spot the non-tippers right away. They were often the people who complained about everything from the start and would often say things like "if you want a tip you'll...", they would run you around, etc. Now some people had valid complaints, I'm not talking about them, I 'm talking about the ones who had a surly attitude from the moment you approached them.

Once I had a guy like that and the meaner he became, the nicer and more gracious I became. Finally at the end of his meal he threw a dollar down on the table and left in disgust. I assume he was disgusted because he could not find a reason to stiff me altogether. And oh yeah, his girlfriend was sooooo impressed my his manliness.

 

[cgcw]

We always tip -- even for bad service we'll leave something so that the server doesn't think we forgot. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often.

I tip at most of the usual places -- my hair cut, nails done, valet, bell service, wait staff. At Christmas time, tips are given to the letter carrier, UPS guy, trash collector. I would say we are more than fair tippers.

My ex-H is another story. Years ago, we drove down to Florida with my DSis & BIL. It wasn't until after I got divorced that they told me on that trip, my ex-H would take the tip off the table as we were walking out. I could not believe it. I knew he was cheap but I never thought he would stoop to such a low level. Not only wasn't it his money (rightfully it was the servers) but he stole it from my DSis & BIL. My DSis later ask me why I never wondered why my BIL started being the last to leave the tables. It never occurred to me. If it happened to be your tip, I apologize for his cheapness.

 

[CajunDixie]

It's not ignorance.

How do you know this? I have an uncle that recently went out to eat at a restaurant my parents also ate at that day. When my uncle was leaving he only left like a 50 cent tip. Dad questioned him on it because they've very rarely ever had bad service or food there. My uncle said the service was good and he left the waitress a little something. Dad had to explain to him that waitresses do not make min. wage and that he should tip at least 15%-20% for good service. My uncle felt really bad but never knew how much the waitresses depend on tips since he really didn't start eating out until after he retired. Even my parents didn't know exactly how much the waitresses made until one of their favorite waitresses there quit to go work at the truck stop. She felt comfortable enough with them to straight out tell them what she made per hour and about how much she earned in tips per day....with Friday and Saturdays being the best days for her. Now they almost always leave their favorite waitresses $5 when it's just the 2 of them eating lunch.
You need to remember some of these "old" folks have lived through some very hard times.

 

[chobie]

How do you know this? I have an uncle that recently went out to eat at a restaurant my parents also ate at that day. When my uncle was leaving he only left like a 50 cent tip. Dad questioned him on it because they've very rarely ever had bad service or food there. My uncle said the service was good and he left the waitress a little something. Dad had to explain to him that waitresses do not make min. wage and that he should tip at least 15%-20% for good service. My uncle felt really bad but never knew how much the waitresses depend on tips since he really didn't start eating out until after he retired. Even my parents didn't know exactly how much the waitresses made until one of their favorite waitresses there quit to go work at the truck stop. She felt comfortable enough with them to straight out tell them what she made per hour and about how much she earned in tips per day....with Friday and Saturdays being the best days for her. Now they almost always leave their favorite waitresses $5 when it's just the 2 of them eating lunch.
You need to remember some of these "old" folks have lived through some very hard times.

My last restaurant job was in a small family owned Italian place in a small town. I had many regular customers who were elderly and only tipped a dollar or so, but they were so nice and always seemed so happy to see me I didn't care. Besides there were always the people who tipped 20 % and over who made it even out in the end.

My problem was with the people who were just plain jerks, They made themselves feel big by treating waitstaff horribly and there are lots of them out there. And jerks like that never tip or tip very little and they do know what they are doing.

 

[tinkcurlz3]

My family and I always tip. Unless of course the waiter/waitress is extremly rude or something in that case we just leave quarter.

 

[VistaLeigh'smommy]

You know what I used to HATE?? When people would give me a hard time and joke around with each other non stop when I was just trying to take the order and they would say "oh dont mind us, we like to give servers a hard time... but we tip BIG!!!" I NEVER got excited when they would say that because they would ALWAYS leave 15-20% ... if you say BIG tip I expect 25% or more. BIG is BIG, not average.

 

[momof2inPA]

In Europe, food prices in restaurants are higher. Waiters are paid by the restaurants. People still are expected to leave a "sweetener"...a small expression of gratitude. In the Caribbean, a service charge is added to the bill to take care of linens and breakage. Very little goes to the waitstaff so tipping is greatly appreciated. Some restaurants will explain that, some do not.

Whenever I tipped for dinner in Europe, they would send me off with a little night cap. Now, that was a nice little custom.

With regards to U.S. restaurants, I tip for sit down and for carry-out from a bar, but I refuse to tip at a drive through or any Starbucks. That's just silly.

 

[IloveDMB]

You know what I used to HATE?? When people would give me a hard time and joke around with each other non stop when I was just trying to take the order and they would say "oh dont mind us, we like to give servers a hard time... but we tip BIG!!!" I NEVER got excited when they would say that because they would ALWAYS leave 15-20% ... if you say BIG tip I expect 25% or more. BIG is BIG, not average.

I always love those people. They like to say that they tip big, but they never do. I walk away thinking I'm going to get a great, big tip and then they leave like 15%. I wonder what their regular tipping practices are, if that is tipping big to them.

 

[Christine]

I'm still waiting for some of the non-tippers to post....Where are they? I guess no one's gonna come out and admit it, huh?

 

[babar]

Well, I went out to dinner with a non-tipper once. He got up and was ready to leave...wouldn't tip for some dumb reason. I started to walk away with him, pretended I forgot something at the table, and left a tip!!

I mean, I planned on eating there again! (without him...)

 

[Thumpershere]

I always tip but I don't like how it's done. If I order a $5 hamburger and a glass of water and someone else orders a $40 lobster and drink, it's not any harder to carry that lobster then the hamburger. So why the higher tip?? That has never made sense to me.

I am on the thrifty side but if I hade a $4.00 breakfast, I would leave at least $2or 3. That's way over 15 or 20%. And again that breakfast is not any harder to serve then a simple lunch that costs 2x as much and deserves a higher tip. What am I missing?

Gina

 

[Kermit]

I have an uncle and aunt who don't tip. They don't really have a reason; they just don't do it. I can't stand going out to eat with them. We always end up leaving something extra when they're not looking, but honestly, I resent having to leave their share. One time we had to practically drag them out of a restaurant because they paid in cash an amount that was just enough for the bill and the tip, and the waiter never came back with the change. I do think it's rude when the waitstaff does that, but they wouldn't let it go and were just going to sit there until the waiter brought their change.

 

[dmslush]

I am one who NEVER tips for bad service. My mother is the manager in a restaurant, and SO and I get what I call, "Oh that's just Dana syndrome." It is where we get waited on last, get the worst service and get to hear all of the crappy days of the waitresses simply because they feel comfortable with me. They know that I understand when they are busy, they know that I understand how hard their job is, etc.. so they feel comfortable waiting on the 'real customers' and letting me wait.

So, I had a long talk with mom about it and then I completely stopped tipping at all in the restaurant. It took the waitresses a couple of times of not getting a tip before they figured out what was going on. When they mentioned it to mom, she asked them if they treated me the same as a stranger, did they keep my drinks refilled, did I have to wait a long time, etc. They had no defense. Now, they know that if they want a tip, they are going to have to give me good service. I don't ask for better service being the manager's daughter, but I do ask for equal service.

 

[FroggyinArk]

hmm timely thread,, reminded me that i forgot to tip our regular waiter yesterday at lunch.. guess that gives us an excuse to go back we regularly eat at our local mexican place, and ussually tip 25 to 30 % there,, yesterday dw was buying,, and was paying with a check, and i trotally forgot to leave anything our waiter. will definately make it up the next time i'm in there.

 

[tw1nsmom]

We've been having a problem with my grandmother and tipping. She was a career waitress and she should be the last person to tip low. She'll want to leave $5 for a $50 bill. She's said that $5 was a good tip in her day. No matter how many times we try to explain to her that it should be a percentage and that the servers today have higher rent/car payments/grocery bills..., she still uses the tips she made 30 years ago as a measure of what she tips today. We obviously over-ride her and leave an appropriate tip, and she doesn't often go out to eat without one of us. I wonder if some of the older tippers are also still basing the tip amount on the wages they earned when they were younger?

 

[shortbun]

When I waited tables, if someone stiffed me they got one chance. They stiffed me again and their level of service went way down. I would guess that non tippers know not to return to the same place more than once or twice. If we knew about non tippers, their food was cold, service was slow and drinks were never refilled. The same set of waitresses would always ante up to feed someone down on their luck. Non tippers are slugs in my book. If for some reason I could not tip, I'd make sure the waiter knew why. It's a lot easier to hear, "I'm a little short this week" than have a table skip the tip. Acting ignorant to the system is not legitimate. If one knows how to order from a menu, they know a tip is involved.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

If we knew about non tippers, their food was cold, service was slow and drinks were never refilled.

That is just wrong. As a server, you are there to do your job regardless of tip. A tip is NOT required. If it was, then it should be added to the bill as a service charge.

I DO tip and I tip well. I just think the system that is currently in place is ridiculous.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

You know what I used to HATE?? When people would give me a hard time and joke around with each other non stop when I was just trying to take the order and they would say "oh dont mind us, we like to give servers a hard time... but we tip BIG!!!" I NEVER got excited when they would say that because they would ALWAYS leave 15-20% ... if you say BIG tip I expect 25% or more. BIG is BIG, not average.

my dad does this alll the time--it is so annoying..but he does really tip well...theres been times that the waitress said to him that he left too much...i guess he just remembers what it was like depending on tips

 

[swilphil]

I have in-laws that have some strange notions about tipping. One is that you figure the tip before tax (don't really have too much of a problem with that one.) The other is that you don't tip on the alcohol you order with your meal. I just can't figure out this one. From my waitressing days, I remembered having to tip out to the bartender. When I asked an in-law about it, I was told that's because the mark up on alcohol is so high. I'm not a big drinker, so it really doesn't affect me. The worst was at a recent meal out where an 18 percent tip was added on because we were a large group. My father in law didn't want to tip that much, so left less even though we were treated very well. My DH and I both decided independently to leave extra and then were yelled out by his sister for embarrassing his dad and being ungrateful. Oy! I've tried the "we'll take care of the tip" approach, but it never works.

 

[swilphil]

I always tip but I don't like how it's done. If I order a $5 hamburger and a glass of water and someone else orders a $40 lobster and drink, it's not any harder to carry that lobster then the hamburger. So why the higher tip?? That has never made sense to me.

I am on the thrifty side but if I hade a $4.00 breakfast, I would leave at least $2or 3. That's way over 15 or 20%. And again that breakfast is not any harder to serve then a simple lunch that costs 2x as much and deserves a higher tip. What am I missing?

Gina

As far as a lobster vs. a hamburger, you usually have very different restaurants involved. At the lobster place, the waitress may only have 5-10 tables and each table may only turn over once or twice in a 4 hour period. In the hamburger place, the waitress might be assigned 15-20 tables and the turnover rate will be much higher. People might only stay 1/2 hour at a table as opposed to 2 hours at the nicer restaurant.