Food related punishment

[SyracuseWolvrine]

As far as using food as a reward ... what about making a favorite dessert for a child that's celebrating a birthday, or a great report card, or something like that? My parents did that for me, and my siblings, and we all turned out ok.

 

[Kimberly]

My parents could never give me a punishment by eating something. I love all of the weird vegetables, including peas and I LOVE broccoli, and i don't even mind brussel sprouts when they are cooked correctly. Never minded lima beans either... most people still consider my diet to be "weird."

 

[Aidensmom]

I was always forced to clean my plate as a child. I hated seafood, still do, and I can remember sitting at the dinner table from the time dinner was served at about 5 until about 11 until I actually finished a piece of fish. What was the point?

I don't make my son clean his plate, but I do make him take 2 bites of everything. That is our rule. If he does that and truly does not like anything on his plate, I will give him a sandwich. However, there is usually something there that he likes and fills up on.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My Mom forced us to eat liver and onions. I would eat 3 pieces of onion for one bit of liver. And she tried to make us eat ham and bean soup. YUCK!

DD was in a "I don't like it" stage for almost every food. So we told her she needed to try a bite to see if she likes it. I can only think of one food she hasn't liked so far-peas. She will now eat sweet potatoes, tomatoes, grapes, carrots , rice, etc. She wouldn't touch these things before.

 

[Chattyaholic]

I was never forced to eat anything as a child. I was required to taste it, if it was something new, but if I didn't like it I didn't have to finish it. And I was never deprived of food, or had it used as punishment on me.

When our two children were young, DH forced our DS to eat liver once. He told DD that it would "make her cheeks rosy" so she ate it without question and smiled while doing so! But DS choked it down, and it ended up coming right back up, I felt SO GUILTY for allowing DH to force him to eat it. That is the ONLY time our kids were forced to eat anything! But DH was raised that you "clean your plate" no matter what was on it, so I could understand his attitude towards the liver with our children. We never withheld food as punishment or anything like that. And they needed to "taste" new foods, but were not forced to finish them if they decided they didn't like them.

 

[florida-again]

I used to be such a fussy eater that now I;m only 4'11''
Once a lunch lady forced me to eat 'egg flan'...YUCK!
To this day I still get anxious if I go to someone's home for dinner and I don't know what they;re going to be cooking.
I now eat almost everything, but if it's something I don't like at all, I can't bring myself to eat it.
I certainly couldn't eat egg flan!

 

[Sleepy]

I do remember one specific food related punishment my brother received. My mother never forced us to eat anything we hated. We were always asked to try something, but if we hated it, we did not have to eat more. One night, my mother had made chicken gizzards as a side dish only for herself. My brother was about 8 years old. He sat down at the table, looked at the gizzards and made the fatal mistake. he said "Those look just like dog turds!" My mother quietly reached over to the dish of gizzards and gave my brother a generous helping of "dog turds". He gagged and gagged and ran to the bathroom. All the while, I was sitting there trying my darndest not to laugh because I knew if I did, I would have a plateful too. I will never forget that dinner and my brother never made food references again.

For my son......nothing like a good can of "Popeye" brand spinach to keep him on the straight and narrow. he still cringes when I show him the cans in the store.

 

[MinnieM3]

I think its appropriate to expect a child to take a "no thank you" bite. I was REQUIRED to eat liver when I was a child. I would cut it up in little pieces and hide it under the edge of my plate. It would literally make me gag. It must have been a protective reaction to hate liver because organ meats filter and consentrate every toxin that a cow comes in contact with, so I knew what I was doing, even at the age of five.

I had the FORCED liver eating, too. I have never eaten it since. Nor have I cooked it. Nor have I been within 3 feet of it! I would had to sit and sit and sit. Eventually I ate it, but usually gagged or threw up. That was the WORST! Just could not stomach that stuff. Couldn't even stand the smell. I'd have gladly gone to bed hungry.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I was never made to try anything I didn't like the looks of (and that was alot growing up). My grandma made an extra meal every night for me because I wouldn't eat what everyone else was eating. I don't make my kids clean their plates, although they usually do; I'm lucky that they're adventurous eaters as well, they like pretty much everything. If they don't eat a reasonable amount of their dinner, I don't allow them to have any junk food later in the evening though. I don't force them to eat anything, but I do ask them to try something if it's new. Usually I just put it on their plates and they at least try it without us saying anything. I won't make a different meal for any one person though, what's for dinner is what's for dinner. DH cousin has to fix chicken nuggets for her 5-yo dd for EVERY meal (including breakfast) because that's ALL the child will eat. It cracks me up in a way, they visit DH family, and grandma will make a nice chicken dinner in the crockpot, but they have to fix the chicken nuggets for Gracie because she doesn't like chicken. ???

I'm paranoid about this. I have a 20-yo brother whose entire diet consists of the following, no exaggeration:

cheese pizza
grilled cheese sandwiches
french fries
potato chips of almost any kind
macaroni and cheese

That's it. No meat, no veggies of any kind, no way, no how. Those are the only things he's ever eaten in his entire life. I don't believe in force feeding people, but this is the opposite end of ridiculous.

 

[Mrs.D]

We had to clean our plate before we could leave the table. Mom chose the serving size. If we didn't eat, we had to sit there by ourselves until we ate it. I had a very strong gag reflex (sometimes still pops up) and would sit there crying when I was little. As I got older, I figured out other ways (put it back in the serving dish, drop bits on the floor, chew up and spit in napkin, tiptoe across to the garbage and scrape the plate). Now there are very few vegetables that I like. Even the scent of cauliflower or asparagus will make my lose my appetite.
Not getting dessert if you don't finish dinner seems logical to me. I don't make my stepsons eat foods they don't like, but if they haven't tried something I expect them to try it before refusing. And I don't make foods that I don't like, nor foods that my DH doesn't like, so that doesn't leave much because he's the only person I know fussier than I am!!

 

[CherCrazy]

My parents used to make me eat MEAT! I would hide it under my plate, or stuff my mouth full of it then go to the bathroom and spit it in the toilet, or give it to the dog. Thank god for dogs!! Somehow the sight of those little veins in meat just brings up the bile in me!!

I never made my kids eat anything they didn't like...because of what I went through. DD doesn't eat meat now either, but DS's eat everything in sight!! They even eat stuff now that they hated as little kids.

I did read a few years ago (or on the news) where parents were arrested for murdering their 4 year old daughter. They forced her to eat so much cake that it totally filled up her stomach, then her throat, and she choked to death on it.

 

[Sparx]

I think that's a cruel and warped punishment for a child. We eat to survive - to associate discipline with it is just plain wrong.

It seems like it would cause an eating disorder. Like anorexia. Making the child NOT want to eat, because you eat when you have done something wrong.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Man, can't believe some of these food stories!!!
There is NO way that I would ever let food take on these issues in my family.

Now, about the 'depression era' thing.... My inlaws. Man, they are just WIERD about food!!! My MIL is actually VERY ritualistic with her food and her eating habits. Everything has to be almost like perfectly sliced and diced and arranged on her plate. She will spend more time preparing her plate than she will actually eating it! Then comes the eating part. No spoon... Fork only. with that perfectly sliced and diced food. And, she gives a whole new meaning to the term 'clean plate'!!!! She uses her fork, and will actually sit and scrape up every tiny bit of food/juice/residue off her plate before she is done. I can bearly stand to sit anywhere close to her at the table, because, this can only be described as 'nails on a blackboard'. Arrrggghhh!!!!

And, get this. Their opinion of food is the ONLY opinion. Recently, an Aunt and Uncle visited with my inlaws, as they very often do. And, FIL wants to go out and eat Chinese. Which they know that Uncle really dislikes chinese food. Now, keep in mind that Uncle is 75 years old, and it is safe to assume that he KNOWS whether he likes chinese or not... And, whether or not he is up to eating it. When, Uncle says, as he has many times before, that he doesn't really like chinese food, FIL tells him it is all in his head!!!

Uncle walked over the the Waffle House next door!!!

 

[LoveWDW]

My parents thought that fatty meat was the best. They didn't comprehend that meat fat separated in my mouth and made me gag. They forced me to eat fat that I had trimmed carefully, no meat wasted, off of a piece of steak. After I threw up on the table that was the last time.

 

[blowinbubbles]

I am so glad this topic was posted, because we are going through this at my son's school right now!

He is in sixth grade, and they have this discipline plan where they start out with 100 points. They can earn points, but they also can have points taken away for whatever infraction, be it talking, not doing homework, or in my son's case, saying "no" instead of "NO mam." If they have a certain number of minus points, they have to have "silent snack," which means they have to write sentences while the other kids have snack.

This week my son had to have "silent snack" because he had too many minus points. Oh, and he still had a 93 which is a 'B'.

I have to say that this practice really ticks me off, because they are using food to reward and/or punish the child.

But now that I've read this thread, I think I'm going to send the principal an email, and let him know what I think.

Any suggestions for someone who can get intimidated by principals?

 

[MySassy]

We were not forced to eat anything. We learned at a very early age, that if you didn't eat what was on your plate, that was Ok; but you had to wait for the next meal... No snacks between meals at our house.
We never complained about what we ate. We learned if you did, you had to leave the table until everyone had finished eating; then do all the dishes by yourself.
No never was allowed to speak at the table during a meal. My father once threw a glass of water at my brother.

 

[applechips]

I think that's a cruel and warped punishment for a child. We eat to survive - to associate discipline with it is just plain wrong.

Hi just jumping in here to say hi and that I totally agree with this statement.

 

[applechips]

I did read a few years ago (or on the news) where parents were arrested for murdering their 4 year old daughter. They forced her to eat so much cake that it totally filled up her stomach, then her throat, and she choked to death on it.

OMG that is so sad.

 

[chelle3807]

My mother grew up with a father who made her and her 3 brothers eat everything on their plate or they weren't aloud to leave the dinner table. She vowed she would never do that to her child. So while I don't eat somethings I never minded trying different foods because I wasn't forced. My Oma ,though says I would eat more different foods if my mom had MADE me eat it. Just doesn't seem right. If you like it, you like it, if you don't than you don't.