First date - send all your luck

[tarheelmjfan]

Please do...I need some perspective since I last dated in 1987!!!!

I feel your pain, but I'm a very few years behind you. I hope I never have to start dating again. You all are to be commended for having the nerve to get out there again. It has to be scary in the beginning. Best of luck to you. I hope you find your Prince Charming soon.

 

[bellebud]

Amber, how's it going? We haven't heard about Tuesday night yet.

 

[amberpi]

The date Tuesday was SUPER late, and he was having work distress (he's in cyber security so when things go wrong...) but it was still really nice, then we had lunch Wednesday because he felt badly about Tuesday. I'm going out with him again next week! He seems like a genuinely nice guy without being boring. I like him

 

[quandrea]

The date Tuesday was SUPER late, and he was having work distress (he's in cyber security so when things go wrong...) but it was still really nice, then we had lunch Wednesday because he felt badly about Tuesday. I'm going out with him again next week! He seems like a genuinely nice guy without being boring. I like him

Yay!! Sounds like things are going well

 

[cobright]

Not to steal your thread, but I'm dipping into the dating scene again after 30 years. I had 3 dates with a guy, he has qualities but lacking some other stuff I'm looking for...So in this dating age, do you tell a guy WHY you don't think it'll work? or do you just let it fade? I felt like I would want to know why myself, but nobody likes criticism.

From the guy's perspective ... ghost him. He know's it's not working, he probably knows why. Giving him an exit interview is just going to put him in an awkward place. If he asks why, I suppose all bets are off but don't think for a minute you owe him an explanation.

 

[Mortlives]

From the guy's perspective ... ghost him. He know's it's not working, he probably knows why. Giving him an exit interview is just going to put him in an awkward place. If he asks why, I suppose all bets are off but don't think for a minute you owe him an explanation.

I agree with this. Even from a woman's perspective, I don't want to know what it is about me someone doesn't like. At most a "thanks, but no thanks" would be fine.

 

[bellebud]

The date Tuesday was SUPER late, and he was having work distress (he's in cyber security so when things go wrong...) but it was still really nice, then we had lunch Wednesday because he felt badly about Tuesday. I'm going out with him again next week! He seems like a genuinely nice guy without being boring. I like him

sounds like it's all going great!! So happy for you

 

[Pacolovestacos]

From the guy's perspective ... ghost him. He know's it's not working, he probably knows why. Giving him an exit interview is just going to put him in an awkward place. If he asks why, I suppose all bets are off but don't think for a minute you owe him an explanation.

Agreed but the reason I don't give the exit interview is because the person won't accept the reasons. They will tell me I'm wrong, or that those aren't good reasons for ending it and I'm being too picky. Super annoying.

 

[cobright]

Agreed but the reason I don't give the exit interview is because the person won't accept the reasons. They will tell me I'm wrong, or that those aren't good reasons for ending it and I'm being too picky. Super annoying.

Not all guys are tools, but certainly enough of us to have earned the reputation. I agree with you to the extent that it doesn't matter what the guy wants or how well he'll take it, you don't owe a person you've dated a few times an accounting of your reasons for ending it. Now 6 months of steady dating and all of a sudden you want to stop ... no you don't owe me an explanation but you'd be kinda a jerk to not give one.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Yes I definitely don't owe it. If I knew the girl would take it in stride, I would have no problem letting her know why I don't want to go out anymore. But I learned a while ago that they will never accept what I have to say. So ghosting is the method at this point.