Fathers & Teenage Daughters

[grinningghost]

Can someone please tell me why ever since my daughter became a teenager, her father seems to resent any fun she has?

She tells us about something fun that happened, and he either pays no attention, or finds something negative about the situation. Is he jealous that he's losing his little girl to the rest of the world?

 

[bjgrazi]

I have found that teenage daughters and fathers are like oil and water, they just don't mix. Why I haven't a clue, but I can't wait till one of mine either my daughter or her dad grows up.

 

[Serena]

I don't know, but it sure didn't mix in my house.

 

[believe]

I got along great with my father...now my 2 sisters are a different story.

 

[grinningghost]

The thing I fail to understand is, our daughter is a good kid, no drugs, not trampy, honor student, an overall good kid with good friends. If she were a trouble kid, that would be another story.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I dont know, my daughter is 11 and i cant never picture not living her to death

 

[browneyes]

Your dh must be kin to my SO somehow. And my dd's not even a teenager yet.

 

[grinningghost]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
I dont know, my daughter is 11 and i cant never picture not living her to death

I suspect you mean LOVING her to death.

I think DH's attitude changed when boys entered the picture.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I tell DH this is "his" time. He needs to be a presence in her life. So far, so good.

As far as the "discussions" that dd does, well dh has the "I am in SHOCK" reaction. He smiles and nods.

 

[Mermaid02]

It's the same around here- he picks at her a lot. She's also a really good kid, honors classes, plays in the band, the jazz band, does drama, and is trying out for softball this year. I like all of her friends- they're really good kids. Her room is a pigpen though and she always tries to get in the last word. Maybe they are too much alike (except for the messy part- I'm married to Mr. Clean )

 

[Serena]

That was my dd and my h's problem. They were so much alike. Very stubborn, very sure they were right and everyone else is wrong. Very determined to have the last word. I got so tired of being in the mediator. They get along so much better now that they don't live together anymore.

 

[edcrbnsoul]

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
Jim Bishop"

I dont have daughters I just always thought this was amusing

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by Mermaid02
(except for the messy part- I'm married to Mr. Clean )

 

[grinningghost]

Originally posted by edcrbnsoul
"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
Jim Bishop"

I dont have daughters I just always thought this was amusing

 

[bekkiz]

I don't know if this is feasable at all, but I lived with my dad from 8th grade to the end of high school. I'm pretty sure the reason we got along that whole time, and still have a great realtionship (I am not "daddy's little girl," but we get along great), is we were involved in the same things. He coached the sport I played (though, didn't coach me), and too this day, we're both super involved with it.

Again, don't know if the situation allows, but maybe push them to have some sort of activity that the two of them do together?

 

[grinningghost]

I think the biggest problem with DD/DH's relationship is that they are SO different. He was basically a troublemaker as a teenager and she is the opposite. He was never involved in school activities. She is. He has no idea how important these things are to her because he never did any of it.

And he was never a goofy, giggly teenage girl.

 

[caitycaity]

let me preface this by saying i really love my dad.

BUT, ever since my sister and i hit our teenage years we just don't get along. he was much better with us as little kids, and i think my mom is better with us as teenagers. my sister and i are in our 20's now and we still have occasional dad issues.

in my case, i think the problem is that my dad and i are too much alike.

 

[Keli]

Originally posted by edcrbnsoul
"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
Jim Bishop"

I think this quote really spells it out for a lot of guys and is the source of a lot of friction between teenage girls and their fathers. I know it's had something to do with the conflicts between my dd and my dh. As my dd has grown older though the friction has decreased and for the most part dh gets along very well with her now.

 

[BHFan25]

I think boys, developing physically and all of that play a part when a young girl is becoming a young woman. The relationship changes and many dads have trouble with the whole thing. My dad couldn't relate well with my sisters but he and I always did fine.

I wish you the best during these years. I think it is very important that a dad stay involved in a dd's life.

 

[grinningghost]

I think part of the problem is DH is remembering what HE was like as teenage boy, and that's what gets him going. He thinks all teenage boys are after one thing only. And I don't know if that's true or not, because I was never a teenage boy.