father in law threw a kink in our plans

[EllaGrasso]

Ok I got it....

Call BIL and ask HIM to drive you and your family to the airport. Be willing to arrive to airport earlier than expected to flex for the baseball-buddy thing.

FIL picks you up from airport as planned.

TADA! All family helps family and a big group hug happens.

The End.

 

[FredinFL]

That sounds like a great idea!

 

[kaytieeldr]

He used to drive a minivan and misses it. He loves ours. And as for sleep, he's up by 4am every day. He's a EARLY riser. He's given no reason. if I wasnt footing the ENTIRE bill for taxes and ins. on the house, I wouldnt be hurting. I have the money for parking, but there goes my kids getting something in WDW, and who wants to be that parent that says SORRY, no. Not to mention the SIL owes me 300. So a ride to the airport, is NOT that big a deal.

I don't see what the SIL owing you $300 has to do with a ride, parking, or souvenirs. Collect it. Demand it. Set a payback schedule so you HAVE the/some money before your trip!

Speaking of souvenirs - get them now at Walmart. Reasonable quality, great prices. You could have a surprise for each kid each morning, or at naptime, or at night. Or carry something small with you. You'll spend less on everything than on one souvenir each.

Mind if I ask - are you footing the bill for taxes and insurance on the coach house, or is it you and your husband? If the latter, you and he need to have some serious talks (NOT arguments) about his parents' living arrangements. He may feel very differently from you about the entire situation.

 

[LoriABil]

Yikes! I don't know why I was surprised reading this thread...but I was.

I feel bad for those of you who "would" or "could" never rely on family or friends for these types of things.

I didn't realize some people were so selfish and I truly feel bad for them.

When we lived near my parents they used to take us the hour to the airport all the time. Heck, my bridesmaids got us a van to take us to the hotel at the airport for our honeymoon (right after our wedding) and my parents drove down the day our flight came in and dropped my car off for when we got home.

And you know what...we did the same for them all the time. My parents don't like my mom to keep her car at work so typically my dad brings her and picks her up....but so did my sister and I. He could even count on us to pick her up at the last minute if he needed usually.

Geesh, when my dad got really sick and my mom and sister were out of town and DH and I had just left for FL he called sister's boyfriend to take him to the hospital....and gasp...he did.

Or when my dad wanted to buy a curio cabinet that a business was using as a display DH drove our truck the 1/2 hour to the store, helped him load it and transported it....going 20 mph the whole time...to my parents house. And we never once thought about compensation or the fact that we have something better to do.

While I don't know that I'd like to be out of state with so little money that $100 would break me, I don't think it's weird for family to do things like this for each other. And while I would be able to change my plans last minute if my family cancelled, I would think it stunk that they said they could take me and then changed plans, especially if they knew how tight my budget was.

My thoughts exactly. I guess I didn't know how lucky I was to have a great Brother, SIL, FIL, mom and dad, not to mention DH and DS. Of course, DH is an only child, so there's that.

I think it's sad some people don't have family or friends to count on. I don't look at it as an inconvenience if I'd do the same for them! In fact, most people would live to help, they just need the opportunity. That's my optimistic view and I'm sticking to it.

And OP, wishing you lots of luck and pixie dust! Is there a way to park at the airport short term, and have friend or family come pick up the car and take it home? Like BIL could drive your FIL to the airport after the game and he can take the car home for you. Just leave him the parking ticket in the car and give him some cash to pay the fee? Just a thought.

 

[allison443]

My thoughts exactly. I guess I didn't know how lucky I was to have a great Brother, SIL, FIL, mom and dad, not to mention DH and DS. Of course, DH is an only child, so there's that.

I think it's sad some people don't have family or friends to count on. I don't look at it as an inconvenience if I'd do the same for them! In fact, most people would live to help, they just need the opportunity. That's my optimistic view and I'm sticking to it.

I have a wonderful, generous family and we gladly help each other when needed, in numerous ways large and small! However, we have never "needed" a ride to the airport. We are perfectly capable of getting ourselves there. It's easier to take a car service/cab, or drive and leave our car there. Why would I need someone to drive me and pick me up?

I think that is what many posters are reacting to, this specific situation of airport transportation. Driving myself to the airport has nothing to do with how nice my family is. It's not something we normally do for each other, however if there was a financial need like in the OP we would.

Now in the OPs case, her father in law agreed to drive, and then backed out to accomodate the brother in law. I can understand why that bothers the OP.

OP I hope you are able to work something out, and have a great trip!

 

[Mama Who]

would be a trusted friend to drive you in your minivan, perhaps for a small "inconvenience" fee. After all, few people really want to get up at 3 AM if they're not the ones actually traveling .

.

As a note, I personally would do this favor for free in exchange for the use of a minivan for a week. There are possibly friends with no car or small cars who would feel it was well worth it.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

What she said. We never ask family for rides to/from the airport and they never ask us. If they did we would and I would for them, as well. I wouldn't want my sweet folks to go out of their way.... so I don't dream of asking.

All that said... my car spends more time in the airport parking lot than it does in my own garage. A few of the husbands in my neighborhood fly now and then for business and more than once I have given them rides home if they arrive inthe afternoon/evening when I am typically ready to head home myself.

Now that the OP has clarified a few things it seems as if the FIL favors the BIL and his family... and this is probably not the first clash of sorts between the OP and the FIL.

I have a wonderful, generous family and we gladly help each other when needed, in numerous ways large and small! However, we have never "needed" a ride to the airport. We are perfectly capable of getting ourselves there. It's easier to take a car service/cab, or drive and leave our car there. Why would I need someone to drive me and pick me up?

I think that is what many posters are reacting to, this specific situation of airport transportation. Driving myself to the airport has nothing to do with how nice my family is. It's not something we normally do for each other, however if there was a financial need like in the OP we would.

Now in the OPs case, her father in law agreed to drive, and then backed out to accomodate the brother in law. I can understand why that bothers the OP.

OP I hope you are able to work something out, and have a great trip!

 

[MistressMerryweather]

As a note, I personally would do this favor for free in exchange for the use of a minivan for a week. There are possibly friends with no car or small cars who would feel it was well worth it.

My mom gladly takes us to the airport at 5:30am in exchange for the car for 10 days. She would do it anyway, though. We do things for each other. We love each other...it's never a big deal.

 

[allison443]

So I have come to understand it is just a difference in our upbringings and styles. My family has never paid for parking at our airport nor have we allowed any neighbors or friends to do so (I am looking at my calendar with a note on it in a week and a half to bring a friend and her family to the airport - they're driving to my house and leaving their car here for the week). DH's family, I believe, just considers it part of their vacation budget so it never even occurs to them to offer.

Reading this it is making me think that dh's family likely is thinking that we are very rude even asking for their help. OOPS!

I think it is very nice that you always drive your family, neighbors, and friends to the airport. However, how is it possible that you are always able to accomodate them? Just thinking about recent trips my friends/family have taken, they flew on weekdays, midday, which are times we are at work. Even if not at work, we have to get kids to school, pick up from school, etc. I also wouldn't miss a kid's school event or important game to take a neighbor to the airport, when they could easily make other arrangements. And if one of us is driving a whole family of people to the airport, someone would have to be home with our kids (if they weren't in school).

Has it really worked out every single time that you are available to take your friends/neighbors/family to the airport over the years?

I guess I'm not getting why driving to the airport is such a big deal for people. Is it just the money? (this is the budget board, so I guess that's it!)

 

[GinnyEmma]

I don't see what the SIL owing you $300 has to do with a ride, parking, or souvenirs. Collect it. Demand it. Set a payback schedule so you HAVE the/some money before your trip!

Speaking of souvenirs - get them now at Walmart. Reasonable quality, great prices. You could have a surprise for each kid each morning, or at naptime, or at night. Or carry something small with you. You'll spend less on everything than on one souvenir each.

Mind if I ask - are you footing the bill for taxes and insurance on the coach house, or is it you and your husband? If the latter, you and he need to have some serious talks (NOT arguments) about his parents' living arrangements. He may feel very differently from you about the entire situation.

Agree. If someone owes you, collect. Don't use it as leverage against that person.

As far as the midol or the chill pill, that might have been great advice for you in the beginning.

 

[goblue00]

FIL "cant" do it cause the BIL wants him to come babysit that morning cause he plans to go to a cubs game and wants to go to his buddies around 10. So were getting shifted when we were offered the help first.

That's ridiculously early, the Cubs don't play until 8:05 PM on the day you're supposed to leave!

 

[mdsoccermom]

I have a wonderful, generous family and we gladly help each other when needed, in numerous ways large and small! However, we have never "needed" a ride to the airport. We are perfectly capable of getting ourselves there. It's easier to take a car service/cab, or drive and leave our car there. Why would I need someone to drive me and pick me up?

I think that is what many posters are reacting to, this specific situation of airport transportation. Driving myself to the airport has nothing to do with how nice my family is. It's not something we normally do for each other, however if there was a financial need like in the OP we would.

Now in the OPs case, her father in law agreed to drive, and then backed out to accomodate the brother in law. I can understand why that bothers the OP.

OP I hope you are able to work something out, and have a great trip!

This.

I don't know how not asking people to take me to the airport translates to not having people to count on. My husband and I have plenty of friends and family we can count on for help if needed. Taking us to the airport to save a few bucks doesn't fall in that category.

Honestly, I would be too embarrassed to ask people to drive me 45 miles to the airport knowing full well I could easily get there myself.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

OP what airport are you flying out of?

 

[Swan4Me]

Its not inexpensive when you live a hour away.

He's inconsiderate because we are on a TIGHT budget. TIGHT. There is NO wiggle room. Our flight leaves EARLY. And we get back around 7pm. And when tell someone you will do something, then back out, yes that is inconsiderate.

Have you budgeted waters, Tips, snacks etc? Or does the Free Dining pay for this? (I never looked into the free ding-just water a few bottles a day will cost $$ for your trip)

Honestly-maybe he prefers to babysit rather that drives you and doing both is too tiring for him? I am older and would be very hesitant to drive into a big city, myself.

 

[redandblue]

Well since we live over an hour away from the airport and have to drive through a major city I don't ask for rides to the airport we just pay for parking. I hate depending on someone for a ride. I hate waiting at the terminal praying they are there on time or feeling guilty if my flight was delayed or it took forever to get my luggage.

DH and I found a hotel a few years ago that let you park for free up to 8 days for staying there for the night. It was awesome the hotel was like $90 with 8 days of free parking!!!!

But I can see your frustration OP it sucks to have someone say they are going to help you out and you plan on it then they back out.

 

[GinnyEmma]

You know you got so fussy about the comments regarding paying for parking. If you do not have $50 in your life to pay for parking, what will you do if your child gets sick again? If you have to get a taxi to pick up meds? If you need a necessity from the onsite store? You walked away from a trailer loan, and then you plan an expensive vacation?

You only leave the house once every 2 weeks? Does that include your little boy too? That is the kind of thing that gives homeschoolers a bad rep that the rest of us have to deal with. (actually the only issue that really causes irritation to me. Maybe a small chill pill necessary.)

If you can't afford to lend money don't do it. If you can't afford to loan your property, don't do it. Unless of course your husband, his child, feels it necessary. Then your issue is with your husband.

You apparently think that if you do something nice for someone they owe you. Maybe you need to just let people know that they are in your debt for life. Put it in writing, to at least make it fair. So much nicer than the passive aggressive thing.

 

[JENOS]

It seems like OP is more interested in keeping up with the “JONES”. You shouldn’t be vacationing if you don’t have any money for emergencies or plan B’s (with this qualifies as). What happens if you get back home and you water heater breaks. I saved up for 18 months for our trip in July and have padded it about 25% more than what I calculated it would cost me. So when I get back, my accounts wouldn’t even know that I was on vacation.

I suggest you take out a credit card before you leave and use it for parking and emergences, I would not usually recommend this, but I don’t see another good solution for you.

 

[SaraJayne]

He used to drive a minivan and misses it. He loves ours. And as for sleep, he's up by 4am every day. He's a EARLY riser. He's given no reason. if I wasnt footing the ENTIRE bill for taxes and ins. on the house, I wouldnt be hurting. I have the money for parking, but there goes my kids getting something in WDW, and who wants to be that parent that says SORRY, no. Not to mention the SIL owes me 300. So a ride to the airport, is NOT that big a deal.

He doesn't owe you an explanation.

What does your SIL owing you money have to do with anything?

Yes, a ride to the airport in CHICAGO, dealing with horrendous traffic IS a big deal.

Since you're on FD and upgraded, switch back to the free QSDP...that upgrade is costing $13 per adult per day. There is your parking money right there.

 

[SaraJayne]

Have you budgeted waters, Tips, snacks etc? Or does the Free Dining pay for this? (I never looked into the free ding-just water a few bottles a day will cost $$ for your trip)

Honestly-maybe he prefers to babysit rather that drives you and doing both is too tiring for him? I am older and would be very hesitant to drive into a big city, myself.

I believe OP said they upgraded to the DDP (which costs extra money per day, as well as tips for waitstaff). It includes one counter service, one sit down dinner and one snack per day.

 

[Lintasare]

You know you got so fussy about the comments regarding paying for parking. If you do not have $50 in your life to pay for parking, what will you do if your child gets sick again? If you have to get a taxi to pick up meds? If you need a necessity from the onsite store? You walked away from a trailer loan, and then you plan an expensive vacation?

You only leave the house once every 2 weeks? Does that include your little boy too? That is the kind of thing that gives homeschoolers a bad rep that the rest of us have to deal with. (actually the only issue that really causes irritation to me. Maybe a small chill pill necessary.)

If you can't afford to lend money don't do it. If you can't afford to loan your property, don't do it. Unless of course your husband, his child, feels it necessary. Then your issue is with your husband.

You apparently think that if you do something nice for someone they owe you. Maybe you need to just let people know that they are in your debt for life. Put it in writing, to at least make it fair. So much nicer than the passive aggressive thing.

ITA with all you said.