Experiences with Skipping a Grade?

[akcire]

I skipped a few grades as a kid. I had no problems with math, we did calculus at home around age 9. I finished hs at 15, stayed long enough to take drivers Ed.

Socially I fit in we'll at college. I looked as old as others and had a really good fake ID to go out. The only problem I had was upon graduation I was not old enough to get licensed in my field. I hung around an extra 18 months worked as a TA and got a masters.

Honestly. If I could do it again I would have graduated hs earlier and not waited to take drivers Ed..

Education should not be age confined. Some kids need a year for 5th grade level work; others a half or a quarter. Unrealized potential breeds mediocracy.

 

[sookie]

First off, no, my kid is not a genius.

We are considering having our DD skip grade 6 mainly for social reasons. She does not fit in with the kids at her current grade level at all. She never has. She is like a mini adult in a child's body - just totally in a different world than her peers both emotionally and socially. She's not better than them, just different - a very old soul. Her very seasoned fifth grade teacher has recommended that she skip one or even two grades. She feels strongly that our DD would be able to make friends more easily with older kids and find more in common with them. As of right now, she doesn't really have any friends - only cordial aquaintances. Note; DD is tall, well groomed, athletic and on the older end of her grade level. So physical characteristics are not an issue in her case. She won't look out of place.

She is bright enough to handle the academic fallout with hard work and motivation. The most common downside to grade acceleration is that students struggle socially due to immaturity. Our DD has the opposite issue.

I am having a hard time coming up with many negatives but i want to investigate every possible angle. Without knowing my DD personally can anyone offer up any downsides or other issues we should consider? Success stories are most welcome, too.

DD has no idea at this point that the we and the school are even considering this option.

I think that since grades 6,7,8 are merged usually, you won't have issues skipping her ahead - she will be transitioned to the middle school with the rest of her peers. Go for it. You could also look into transitioning into 7th grade classes for most of her courses and keeping her back for others that she doesn't super excel in.
Good luck.

 

[bethy]

Thanks everyone! i read through everything very quickly and need to go back and read again more slowly when all the kids are in bed and i can concentrate. I will take every word into account. I am determined to do my due diligence on this. It will take at least 2-3 months for us to make a decision.

To clarify a couple of things, my DD might not literally be a genius but she is very very intelligent. When a teacher explains something she gets it the first time. She has been pretty extensively tested both in school and out. All scores are in the 90+ percentile range. She has been mostly bored in class most of her elementary years. We have had to supplement outside of school to keep her engaged. She spent her entire second grade and third grade year mostly reading in class.

Our school district is populated by a pretty intelligent population with demographics that lean in that direction for several environmental reasons. it's hard to explain without saying where we live. Anyway but the district is also newer and not super well-funded. So the gifted programs are very limited and only the very tiny top percent of our already intelligent and competitive population recieves dedicated gifted education in the public schools. Also if i recall correctly from my previous research, don't you have to have like a 140+ IQ to be truly gifted?

DD gets straight A's in everything, including organization and practical categories. Her last three teachers back the idea of acceleration. Her current teacher feels that our DD catching up and filling that knowledge gap will be barely an issue if it's even an issue at all. She has a strong worth ethic and is highly motivated. (i don't know what this says about our school district, lol!)

To top it all off, her birthday is at the end of August. She made the cutoff for Kindergarten by a few days and we unfortunately elected at the time to wait to send her to K. So if we had sent her on time then she would be in sixth grade right now anyway. At a minimum we are trying to correct that error.

If she skips she will graduate at 17 and start college either just before or just after she turns 18. So not a big deal for someone who is already an "old soul" imo.

I do absolutely agree with those that question whether one year will really make that much a difference for her socially. It's true that she will still have challenges fitting in. But for several reasons we are also attracted to the idea of her getting a fresh start with entirely new peer group. At our schools there is not much overlap between grades at least not in elementary or MS. it would be almost as if she were changing schools entirely, an option which we are also considering. And if she does that we might as well select a peer group that is slightly older rather than slightly younger.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses. I truly value them!!!

 

[allison443]

What do you mean by she is an "old soul"?
I've heard the expression, but I'm wondering how it manifests itself in a kid.

 

[bethy]

What do you mean by she is an "old soul"?
I've heard the expression, but I'm wondering how it manifests itself in a kid.

it's hard to explain. She has a high level of curiousity. She talks contantly and asks questions all the time and takes it upon herself to learn about the world. As far as her interests go, it's like talking to an adult. For example, in Fourth grade during a lesson about personal finances and compound interest she explained to the entire class what a mortgage was and how the interest rates worked and what the housing market was like in our area. Her peers had no idea what a mortgage was or even whether their house cost $100 or $800,000.

She has planned her wedding many times. Named her future children. Has designed the detailed interior and color palette of her future home. Thinks about appliance brands. Watches HGTV religiously (i don't). Knows many of the differences between Republicans and Democrats. Wonders if she needs wrinkle cream. Utilizes oodles of beauty products. Can talk to and charm most any adult about most any topic. Can find her way home from the airport. is plotting her path to college and discuss her potential majors, etc, etc. She LOVES romance. She is deeply empathetic and intuitive to others' worries and emotions and takes them onto her own shoulders. She strives to put others before herself.

That's what i mean by old soul. She's always been this way I do not demand it of her.

 

[BrownEyedGrl]

Thanks everyone! i read through everything very quickly and need to go back and read again more slowly when all the kids are in bed and i can concentrate. I will take every word into account. I am determined to do my due diligence on this. It will take at least 2-3 months for us to make a decision.

To clarify a couple of things, my DD might not literally be a genius but she is very very intelligent. When a teacher explains something she gets it the first time. She has been pretty extensively tested both in school and out. All scores are in the 90+ percentile range. She has been mostly bored in class most of her elementary years. We have had to supplement outside of school to keep her engaged. She spent her entire second grade and third grade year mostly reading in class.

Our school district is populated by a pretty intelligent population with demographics that lean in that direction for several environmental reasons. it's hard to explain without saying where we live. Anyway but the district is also newer and not super well-funded. So the gifted programs are very limited and only the very tiny top percent of our already intelligent and competitive population recieves dedicated gifted education in the public schools. Also if i recall correctly from my previous research, don't you have to have like a 140+ IQ to be truly gifted?

DD gets straight A's in everything, including organization and practical categories. Her last three teachers back the idea of acceleration. Her current teacher feels that our DD catching up and filling that knowledge gap will be barely an issue if it's even an issue at all. She has a strong worth ethic and is highly motivated. (i don't know what this says about our school district, lol!)

To top it all off, her birthday is at the end of August. She made the cutoff for Kindergarten by a few days and we unfortunately elected at the time to wait to send her to K. So if we had sent her on time then she would be in sixth grade right now anyway. At a minimum we are trying to correct that error.

If she skips she will graduate at 17 and start college either just before or just after she turns 18. So not a big deal for someone who is already an "old soul" imo.

I do absolutely agree with those that question whether one year will really make that much a difference for her socially. It's true that she will still have challenges fitting in. But for several reasons we are also attracted to the idea of her getting a fresh start with entirely new peer group. At our schools there is not much overlap between grades at least not in elementary or MS. it would be almost as if she were changing schools entirely, an option which we are also considering. And if she does that we might as well select a peer group that is slightly older rather than slightly younger.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses. I truly value them!!!

An average IQ is between 85 and 115 (changes within a few points depending on the test). Assuming since your daughter would skip grade 6 she took the WISC-IV. What is considered "Upper Extreme" on that particular tests aka gifted is a score 131 and above.

I was going to skip a grade but my parents (and I after much protest)didn't want me to graduate at 16. Looking back (I am now 23) I am very happy I didn't skip any grades. I would have felt like I had to grow up quicker than I already am.

 

[Schmeck]

it's hard to explain. She has a high level of curiousity. She talks contantly and asks questions all the time and takes it upon herself to learn about the world. As far as her interests go, it's like talking to an adult. For example, in Fourth grade during a lesson about personal finances and compound interest she explained to the entire class what a mortgage was and how the interest rates worked and what the housing market was like in our area. Her peers had no idea what a mortgage was or even whether their house cost $100 or $800,000.

She has planned her wedding many times. Named her future children. Has designed the detailed interior and color palette of her future home. Thinks about appliance brands. Watches HGTV religiously (i don't). Knows many of the differences between Republicans and Democrats. Wonders if she needs wrinkle cream. Utilizes oodles of beauty products. Can talk to and charm most any adult about most any topic. Can find her way home from the airport. is plotting her path to college and discuss her potential majors, etc, etc. She LOVES romance. She is deeply empathetic and intuitive to others' worries and emotions and takes them onto her own shoulders. She strives to put others before herself.

That's what i mean by old soul. She's always been this way I do not demand it of her.

You are really describing someone with characteristics that could be placed on the autism spectrum, BTW. Obsessions, placing herself into situations that she is not involved in and being much more connected to adults than peers - three biggies for HFA.

 

[zoemurr]

to first in the middle of K and then went to 2nd the next year. She was one of the oldest in her grade, big for her age and very mature. As for being "gifted" and allowed to skip: her IQ is over 150 (that's how high both tests went that she took and she got 100%) tested at a 5th grade level for reading and 3rd grade for math at 5 years old. Even with that info it was a bit of a struggle to get her skipped. I can't imagine anyone suggesting it for social reasons. (She gets all this from her father.. not me.)

She is in HS now. Academically and socially she is fine. Our biggest problem has been the expectations of others. She is the "smart kid". She does very well in school but does not score 100% on everything, and while she is above average still in math and reading, she is no genius at science or writing. We have had some teachers say some not very nice things ("I heard you were brilliant.. but this work doesn't show it") and the kids all think she should do perfect work all the time. That's a hard standard for her to uphold.

That being said I think we would have had more challenges if we had left her where she was. She has plenty of other "nerd" friends. Some of her classes have much older students in them. She is not very social and prefers to stay home on a Sat. night, but I think that is just her personality.

Also remember when she stars dating the boys will be quite a bit older. DD has a boyfriend who is a year older but is a sweetheart that we have known for years. But boys who are redshirted in her grade could be two years older.

Anyway, I would never do it for social reasons. I would find some local clubs and activities where she could bond with other mature children. Good luck!

 

[jrmasm]

Thanks everyone! i read through everything very quickly and need to go back and read again more slowly when all the kids are in bed and i can concentrate. I will take every word into account. I am determined to do my due diligence on this. It will take at least 2-3 months for us to make a decision.

To clarify a couple of things, my DD might not literally be a genius but she is very very intelligent. When a teacher explains something she gets it the first time. She has been pretty extensively tested both in school and out. All scores are in the 90+ percentile range. She has been mostly bored in class most of her elementary years. We have had to supplement outside of school to keep her engaged. She spent her entire second grade and third grade year mostly reading in class.

Our school district is populated by a pretty intelligent population with demographics that lean in that direction for several environmental reasons. it's hard to explain without saying where we live. Anyway but the district is also newer and not super well-funded. So the gifted programs are very limited and only the very tiny top percent of our already intelligent and competitive population recieves dedicated gifted education in the public schools. Also if i recall correctly from my previous research, don't you have to have like a 140+ IQ to be truly gifted?

DD gets straight A's in everything, including organization and practical categories. Her last three teachers back the idea of acceleration. Her current teacher feels that our DD catching up and filling that knowledge gap will be barely an issue if it's even an issue at all. She has a strong worth ethic and is highly motivated. (i don't know what this says about our school district, lol!)

To top it all off, her birthday is at the end of August. She made the cutoff for Kindergarten by a few days and we unfortunately elected at the time to wait to send her to K. So if we had sent her on time then she would be in sixth grade right now anyway. At a minimum we are trying to correct that error.

If she skips she will graduate at 17 and start college either just before or just after she turns 18. So not a big deal for someone who is already an "old soul" imo.

I do absolutely agree with those that question whether one year will really make that much a difference for her socially. It's true that she will still have challenges fitting in. But for several reasons we are also attracted to the idea of her getting a fresh start with entirely new peer group. At our schools there is not much overlap between grades at least not in elementary or MS. it would be almost as if she were changing schools entirely, an option which we are also considering. And if she does that we might as well select a peer group that is slightly older rather than slightly younger.Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses. I truly value them!!!

If I understand what you're saying correctly, you think that because the grades don't intermix, she will essentially be a new student among her older peers?

Based on my experience, I believe that is 100% incorrect.

I skipped 8th. In middle school, our grades didn't mix but I can assure you that when I showed up for the first day of 9th grade, those kids knew exactly who I was. And they cared that I didn't belong there. Some of them cared A LOT. I went from having a normal social life to having to fight my way back in. That was awful. Do not underestimate the abilities of teens to be truly awful to each other because of differences.

Now if your DD doesn't care about making friends, having to kids to hang out with after school or someone to sit with at lunch, then maybe it would be ok. I just want you to know that I had no social issues before my skip and I had to work very, very, very hard to be accepted by my new peers.

It could be that your DD's experience would be different but she needs to be prepared for major social challenges.

As a June baby, I went off to college at barely 17. It was not pretty.

Based on my experience, I would never consider skipping a child after 2nd grade. It's just not worth it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So your dd is in 5th grade right now and then will being going to the middle school next year and you want to bypass 6th grade because of "social reasons"?

Let me tell you middle school sucks at any grade, FYI.

How is the curriculum at your middle school? That could be a problem.

Is your dd in the "gifted program" now?

I say that because some schools have the "gifted kids" in the accelerated math, science, history, and language track. Walking into geometry is not going to happen for example and she would be bumped down to her original grade level in math. It is the math track you really have to find out about.

You really need to sit down with the middle school guidance counselor WITH your dd before you decide to do this.

 

[bethy]

If I understand what you're saying correctly, you think that because the grades don't intermix, she will essentially be a new student among her older peers?

Based on my experience, I believe that is 100% incorrect.

I skipped 8th. In middle school, our grades didn't mix but I can assure you that when I showed up for the first day of 9th grade, those kids knew exactly who I was. And they cared that I didn't belong there. Some of them cared A LOT. I went from having a normal social life to having to fight my way back in. That was awful. Do not underestimate the abilities of teens to be truly awful to each other because of differences.

Now if your DD doesn't care about making friends, having to kids to hang out with after school or someone to sit with at lunch, then maybe it would be ok. I just want you to know that I had no social issues before my skip and I had to work very, very, very hard to be accepted by my new peers.

It could be that your DD's experience would be different but she needs to be prepared for major social challenges.

As a June baby, I went off to college at barely 17. It was not pretty.

Based on my experience, I would never consider skipping a child after 2nd grade. It's just not worth it.

Thank you for this - this insight is particularly helpful and is food for thought.

In my DD's case she doesn't have anything to lose socially. She will be leaving nothing behind. Also, she would be 18 when she started college.

In our town, you have to be smart to be socially accepted by most. Being smart is a huge asset especially when it's publically acknowledged in some way. I suspect grade skipping would qualify. I'm hoping that would smooth her path a little if we did this.

Another path we are investigating is changing schools entirely - whether public or private. If we did that though, we would still seriously consider havIng her skip a grade at the same time.

I want to point out again that the grade she would be skipping into would be the grade she should have been all along. She makes the age cutoff by 2 days.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We didn't skip a grade, but your daughter started school year. She will graduate at 17. It hasn't really bothered her at all. But I wouldn't skip a grade unless the child was ahead academically.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

So your dd is in 5th grade right now and then will being going to the middle school next year and you want to bypass 6th grade because of "social reasons"?

Let me tell you middle school sucks at any grade, FYI.

Er, yeah. 7th grade is when children are the craziest. Really. 6th grade, students still have the elementary mindset. By 8th grade, they have turned into high schoolers. In 7th grade, they are all crazy. Skipping a grade may exacerbate that.

 

[bethy]

About the autism spectrum. Rest assured that DD is under the care of a seasoned Neuropsychologist. She has tested and evaluated extensively over the years. We have a good handle on where she stands cognitively. I have an appointment with her to discuss this issue.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, My oldest DS, who is now 39, skipped a grade. He went from 3rd to 5th. I knew from early on that he was "gifted". I had a great relationship with all of his teachers and his principal. One day his principal called me and suggested DS skip 4th grade. I went with his recommendation. When DS got to the jr. high level, he was taking math courses at the high school. I was fortunate enough to have an employer that let me take some of my lunch time to transport DS from the jr high to the high school for this. DS was known as "Doogie Howser"! lol
The only negative about the double promotion was, that once DS graduated high school and started college, he was "burned out" of education. He purposely did not attend classes and failed his first year of college! He decided he wanted to work full time being, get this, a telemarketer!
After about 6 mos of this, he realized he had made a big mistake and he went back to college. He made the Dean's List ever since. He is married, with his own family now. He has a wonderful job and just this last year obtained his MBA.

TC

 

[TotalDreamer]

First off, no, my kid is not a genius.

We are considering having our DD skip grade 6 mainly for social reasons. She does not fit in with the kids at her current grade level at all. She never has. She is like a mini adult in a child's body - just totally in a different world than her peers both emotionally and socially. She's not better than them, just different - a very old soul. Her very seasoned fifth grade teacher has recommended that she skip one or even two grades. She feels strongly that our DD would be able to make friends more easily with older kids and find more in common with them. As of right now, she doesn't really have any friends - only cordial aquaintances. Note; DD is tall, well groomed, athletic and on the older end of her grade level. So physical characteristics are not an issue in her case. She won't look out of place.

She is bright enough to handle the academic fallout with hard work and motivation. The most common downside to grade acceleration is that students struggle socially due to immaturity. Our DD has the opposite issue.

I am having a hard time coming up with many negatives but i want to investigate every possible angle. Without knowing my DD personally can anyone offer up any downsides or other issues we should consider? Success stories are most welcome, too.

DD has no idea at this point that the we and the school are even considering this option.

I had the same "issue", but didn't skip a grade. My elementary school was very reluctant to do that and had various (stupid) programs as alternatives. IMO skipping a grade would've helped me much more than those. My friends were always older and once they graduated HS, I ended up going on an independent study program through the school district and graduated early. I guess if I had skipped a grade I would've been right on track with my older friends.

Here is my D's story. In 2nd grade the school wanted to move her to 3rd grade mid year, after some discussion we declined because we just could not be sure of the outcome. Academically she was light yrs ahead of her peers, socially she had friends but did not really relate and consistently preferred to socialize with teachers.This remains the same even today. Fast Forward to 8th grade, D was taking a HS class online to keep her challenged. In 9th grade she took an extra course as well, beginning in 10th grade (last yr) she was taking Dual Enrollment courses at the Community College. Mid yr she had enough credits to become a JR, we spent Christmas break discussing whether early graduation we the best option...she doesn't like anything about the High School and decided College was a much better option. By the Summer D was a senior. Honestly I don't think Double promoting her in 2nd grade would have changed a thing, I don't think she would have related any better to the kids a yr ahead of her and academically she would have still been ahead. If I had to do it all over again I would still wait until high school to let her skip a grade. BTW D is 16 and will not be 17 until August.

This is why my first response was going to be that I don't think it would've helped me. I didn't find that my peers "caught up" and I did not like the HS "experience" in general. I had friends at school once I got to HS, but like I said they were always older and even still I connected most to people outside of school. College is where I finally felt connected to more of my peers.

Sounds like your DD should definitely be in AP classes when she gets to HS. I actually got better grades in those classes and college courses than regular classes - it was the learning style.

 

[bethy]

Regarding our school district's rules and reasons they may or may not allow or encourage grade acceleration, I'm not really wanting to get into that sort of philosophical debate. I'm just trying to figure out what will work best for my DD. She is an individual.

Plus we are considering several options outside of the local public school district as well.

I am meeting with the Middle school counselor next week and I am sure will get some critical input then.

 

[bethy]

Tuffcookie,

I have seen that happen with highly capable students, too - the burnout. Also i do see my child being a likely candidate for academic alternatives such as IB, AP classes, running start, etc in high school regardless of whether she skips or not. She is resourceful and highly motivated so far. She is one to walk her own path. Believe it or not we do not push her - there is no need.

TotalDreamer, i would not be surprised if my DD never falls in love with the High School experience. It's not for everyone. I am just trying to make it a little more pleasant but increasing her chances of making a friend or two for the duration. I am so excited for her to go to college someday. i think she will loooooove it.

 

[zoemurr]

Thank you for this - this insight is particularly helpful and is food for thought.

In my DD's case she doesn't have anything to lose socially. She will be leaving nothing behind. Also, she would be 18 when she started college.

In our town, you have to be smart to be socially accepted by most. Being smart is a huge asset especially when it's publically acknowledged in some way. I suspect grade skipping would qualify. I'm hoping that would smooth her path a little if we did this.

Another path we are investigating is changing schools entirely - whether public or private. If we did that though, we would still seriously consider havIng her skip a grade at the same time.

I want to point out again that the grade she would be skipping into would be the grade she should have been all along. She makes the age cutoff by 2 days.

"putting her in the grade she should have been in" holds a lot of weight now. If you did this years ago yes, but she will miss a full year of instruction. DD is accellerated in math by 3 years, but she has done all of that work, just at a faster rate.

I don't think changing grades to find more mature kids is going to help. Very few middle schoolers are "mature" in any way. My DD is a wonderful, thoughful, caring child who had her act together in elementary school. MS sucked the brain right out of her head and she didn't know if she was coming or going. By 9th grade she has "found" herself again. Many,many, kids are a complete mess during middle school no matter which grade they are in.

Are there any "nerd clubs" (and I say that lovingly) in or out of school she could join? Math team, robotics, chess.. these might attract like-minded kids.

 

[bethy]

zoemurr and others who warn of Middle School's perils: Do you think that there would then be any advantage to my DD then only having to endure two years of MS hell rather than 3? That's a big difference. I see this as a potential side perk of accelerating her.

However I do realize that part of what makes MS so hard are the social/emotional and physical changes that are simply a necessary part of growing up that all kids must go through at some point . . .