Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[Brightsy]

Hey all!
Our little section of Schmolland has been really busy of late. My older DS (11 AHDH) is almost done w/ his psycho-educational evaluations. We're trying to determine if he has an LD and if so, which one. The Dr. we're seeing is a Clinical Social Worker and is a very nice man. He's such a relaxing person to be around. Anyways, he said we may have to consider anti-anxiety meds for my DS. His anxiety levels have been a concern for awhile but they've been getting worse this last year. Moving, my DH retiring from the Army, school pressures getting worse, bullying, puberty is about to hit... no wonder the kid is stressed out! I just wish I could do more to help him, but I can't completely shelter him, he does need to figure some things on his own...ohhhh it's tough.
DS8, our little Schmutch boy, finished his latest rounds of PT and OT evaluations, the speech eval isn't quite done. His apraxia makes communications super tough. The Speech therapist says that, so far, DS8 shows that he understands language at an appropriate level. His reading is behind, more on par w/ a 1st grader vs. a beginning 3rd grader. His expressive skills are at least 4 yrs. behind. I can't even imagine how tough that is for him!
PT and OT feel he's well on his way, but still needs a lot of help catching up w/ his motor skills. They love working with him! He's got flat feet, flat as a pancake I'm told, so we're waiting for his inserts to be ready.
Both the boys are in KArate now, and at their insistence, so am I! Yikes! It's yet more time and scheduling woes, but it's worth it. I've seen a difference already in DS11, his stands up a little straighter. I think it even helps more that there are a couple kids in class with issues, several ADD/ADHD kids, one who is "borderline" Aspie. DS8 is the only "real Autistic" in class, and he makes life interesting for the Senseis. But they have great patience and it's all good.
On one last note: If you're still w/ me...DS8 tried something new-ish! We stopped at a White Castle the other day, and he ate an entire order of their chicken rings!
Sorry about the longish ramble...

 

[ppony]

Sorry laides. I'm STILL playing catch up in reading your stories. I get such hope and just a feeling of not being alone from them. I'm STILL trying to read my Temple Grandin book (comes with me to all appts I have) which I LOVE, and my Dave Ramsay book that we NEED , and working all hours of the night after my kiddos are in bed.
We did have a HUGE step for my Schmol babe I've been wanting to share. He spoke! Granted, it was only a few words and he hasn't repeated them since, but it was like he had been saying them all along. He said "thirsty, oh boy, and poopy butt". He had no difficulty with any of the sounding exactly as the should. You'd never know it was his first time making the "th" sound. So we're excited there! And since his therapy sessions had regressed terribly w/o me in the room, I'm back in the therapy sessions but generally as a presence. It's helped a TON.

SO! Keep sharing laides! I'm trying to catch up to get to know you all. You have helped me immensely by sharing. It can feel so lonely in Schmolland. I'm now off to my own appt. to get me right in the head.

 

[iwrbnd]

Kampfirekim, it has been quiet around here, hasn't it? I think summer with the lack of school pressure helps a lot! (At least for us!) I'm sorry your little guy is sick! At least he'll get it out of the way before your trip! You'll have to tell us all about WDW, I'm jealous and happy for you that you'll be there soon! We've just booked for Thanksgiving this year. We've never done that and I'm a little worried about crowds and weather! I'm excited to see the Christmas decorations, though! We're also throwing in our first cruise! I'm feeling really broke now and I think I need to re-read Dave Ramsey!!!

ppony, YEAH for your son's first words!!! THat's so exciting!!! You know, it's weird, I can remember all the first words of my kids except the one diagnosed w/autism who was my latest talker! I think it's because, like yours, it came in phrases and not single words. When he finally started talking we couldn't shut him up! I hope yours just keeps on going, too!

Brightsy, I hear karate is really good for citizens of Schmolland! I'm glad it's going so well for ALL of you! I know what a milestone it is when your son adds a new food! My DS11 only eats a handful of things all of which are very unhealthy! The other day he tried a potato ole from Taco Johns and said "I'm getting better, I like this!" Good luck with the anxiety. My sister's son had to go on anti-anxiety medicine about that age and it really helped him!

sturdypeasantstock, I feel the same way...cheated out of what should have been! (I love your name, by the way!)

We had a good 4th of July except we spent it with the "perfect cousins" which is always a little rough. These cousins are all so similiar to my boys but then not at all, if you know what I mean. It's like I can see what my boys would have been and it makes me sad!

My DS11 (mild autism/aspergers/splashed/whatever you want to call it) is a perfectionist and really shuts down when frustrated. That has always worried me but now he talks to himself when he gets really mad. Is that okay or a red flag? It just looks a little creepy to me!

Have a great day everyone!

 

[persimmondeb]

Sounds pretty standard to me. DS chatters (and sings) away to himself all the time. He is now trying to get me to take him to Chicago so he can attend the "Lego Games" at the end of the month. We live in Eastern PA, so I don't think that's happening! He's trying, though.

 

[toodycat]

Not much new here. We had a quiet July 4th weekend. My parents came up to visit and use our pool; they brought steaks and we barbecued. We didn't go anyplace to see fireworks in spite of a few invites and I bet members of the Smutch community need no further explanation as to why!

KFK--Sorry to hear your boy is unwell, but if he's got to "get it out of his system" better at home than at WDW, right?

DS is enjoying the course on audio engineering. He worked on his first project, editing an audio commercial, today. I've joined a gym and am working out while he is in class. Since the broken foot, I haven't had any exercise in a while. I'm taking it slowly and just using a recumbent bike so far.
iwrbnd---It is tough to see NT kids your own kid's age, but don't take it to heart. Comparing lives with anyone is always a risky business.

Ppony---Awesome news about your kiddo's words. I still get chills when I think about the first time my little guy spoke clearly.

Brightsy---Karate is great. My DS and DH just left for their second lesson of the week. They have been studying since DS was 7 and he is 16 now. It definitely made a big difference in terms of DS' physical coordination. Also, the one time he was bullied and got in a fight---we got off easy in the teasing/bullying department because DS is a tall, muscular kid---DS kicked up his feet, used his moves and kicked some butt! The funny thing was that being ASD, he didn't realize that when your adversary runs away, you've won and the fight is over. He continued kicking the running bully in the butt as the kid ran away. As a result of my husband's love for karate and my son's progress, DH is presently working with someone from the community on putting together a karate program specifically for ASD and developmentally delayed kids. Class size will be small and there will be lots of individualized instruction.DH, who is a second degree black belt, will be the teacher.

Have a great night everyone!

 

[ppony]

My DS11 only eats a handful of things all of which are very unhealthy! The other day he tried a potato ole from Taco Johns and said "I'm getting better, I like this!"

I loved that!

 

[NotUrsula]

I know what a milestone it is when your son adds a new food! My DS11 only eats a handful of things all of which are very unhealthy! The other day he tried a potato ole from Taco Johns and said "I'm getting better, I like this!"

Oooh, funny/sad story: This happened 2 years ago, and got DS asked not to return to a private school day camp program that he previously had loved. He aged out of the basic program, and went into one where they took the kids on field trips around town every day using public transit, and also took them to various restaurants a couple of days out of the week. DS has always been a GREAT traveler because he's map-obsessed -- he always studies up in advance and knows exactly what to do. We were not worried. He is a picky eater, but at least then, he was also nearly a non-eater, so if he went without lunch once or twice we knew he'd survive.

Anyway, the Saturday after the end of the first 2 week session of what was to have been 2 of them, we got a call from DS' counselor, who was terribly upset. It seems that he had surveyed the campers on what their most exciting moment of camp had been, and DS' answer had been "eating flatbread sammies at Quiznos." This young man was livid, going on about how carefully he had planned all these learning experiences and how much work he had put into it, and that the best my kid could do was to make a crack about a fast-food restaurant?! He told me that he really didn't appreciate disruptive smart-alecks, and that perhaps DS should find a program that he liked better elsewhere.

I just could not make the guy understand that it was NOT a smart-aleck remark. DS meant it -- he had found a new food that he really liked, and it was a huge big deal to him. The counselor thought I was just as weird as my kid.

After that we decided that the camp wasn't going to work out for DS anymore, even though he'd otherwise been happy there. The quirks that the resident teachers were able to handle without issue when he was younger were just too off-the-wall for the college-student part-timers to deal with without anger when they were coming from a middle-schooler.

We now use that incident in every IEP meeting to illustrate to new teachers just exactly how DS' perception of things can be so far out of range of normal.

PS:

My DS11 (mild autism/aspergers/splashed/whatever you want to call it) is a perfectionist and really shuts down when frustrated. That has always worried me but now he talks to himself when he gets really mad. Is that okay or a red flag? It just looks a little creepy to me!

As the child of a schizophrenic, I can tell you that it is perfectly normal as long as he knows that he is talking to himself and not someone else. However, it is something that you really should encourage him to be careful of doing in public. Talking to oneself is strongly associated with schizophrenia, and people are almost universally afraid of schizophrenics; classmates will begin to avoid him if it is known that he talks to himself.

 

[kirstenb1]

I can't remember if I've asked you: Have you seen the film: "Autistic Like: Graham's Story"?

It's about a boy who was misdiagnosed ASD when he really had SPD.

Jodi, thanks---I do need to check this out.

 

[bookwormde]

Actually Aspies talk to other poeple all the time in thier minds (and sometime outloud) when they are in "internal movie mode", that is why so many were misdiagnosed as schizophrenic in the past, we are talking to "someone else" just not is the disasociated way of a true diagnosis. It is a hard thing for NTs who can not appricate the nature of our visual capabilites and internal processes.

bookwormde

 

[kirstenb1]

I'm glad you said it. I feel cheated too, and I feel like my boys were cheated out of just having the joy of living "normal" lives that so many NTs take for granted. They didn't ask to have disabilities and I feel like NTs don't understand. What I hate most is the comments from NT parents about how the "slow kids" slow down the rest of the class, etc. They say things like that right in front of the boys and me. Ugh!

You guys I really hear you. I have one NT kiddo and one ASD kiddo. My heart goes out to you. This is a safe place where we can all vent, and I hope you know how much support you have.

 

[iwrbnd]

Bookwormde, thanks for the insight into why aspies talk to themselves! That helps a lot!

NotUrsula, that is a sad story! It shows how misunderstood our kids can be!

I have an "out there" question for you all. Do all kids in Schmolland struggle with the process of getting dressed or is it just mine? That seems to be a milestone that comes much later with my kids! Of course, my older ones can do it now but it was hard. And now my DD7 who isn't diagnosed with anything (but she's still from a Schmutz family tree ) still does things like shoes before jeans or shirts backwards! What's up with that?

 

[Nik's Mom]

Bookwormde, thanks for the insight into why aspies talk to themselves! That helps a lot!

NotUrsula, that is a sad story! It shows how misunderstood our kids can be!

I have an "out there" question for you all. Do all kids in Schmolland struggle with the process of getting dressed or is it just mine? That seems to be a milestone that comes much later with my kids! Of course, my older ones can do it now but it was hard. And now my DD7 who isn't diagnosed with anything (but she's still from a Schmutz family tree ) still does things like shoes before jeans or shirts backwards! What's up with that?

Both of my sons with ASD struggled with getting dressed. My 11 year old has mastered the skills, but ds 8 is still struggling. He can usually put on shoes, but not tie the laces. We are working on that. He always seems to put on his underwear or shirts on backwards. But once and a while, he will come out of his room with everything on right! Of course I rejoice! But he still can't button and zip. We are working on that too.

 

[bookwormde]

From my experience most do, partially from EF issues and partially from lack of social perception or concern. Heck my wife still laughs at me when I leave the house sometimes, she mentions things but knows that many times I just do not care if something does not match or my socks are inside out.
I agree buttons are still an issue for my DS
bookwormde

 

[toodycat]

Bookwormde---Thanks. That makes so much sense. Sometimes I hear my son talking and laughing quite loudly to his computer or the TV when he plays video games.

 

[bookwormde]

He is living with a "richness" to life at those moments that is very hard for NTs to understand, it is one of the greatest gifts and probably the most misunderstood.

bookwormde

 

[kampfirekim]

kampfirekim, I'm sorry your ds is sick. I hope he feels better soon! You all have plenty of time if you leave in 12 days. That gives you some time in case the illness travels through the rest of your house. Although, I hope no one else gets sick, just for your sanity.

Thanks! DS recovered quickly and there was no spreading of "the bug". Looks like we're on track for a good trip!

Kampfirekim, it has been quiet around here, hasn't it? I think summer with the lack of school pressure helps a lot! (At least for us!) I'm sorry your little guy is sick! At least he'll get it out of the way before your trip! You'll have to tell us all about WDW, I'm jealous and happy for you that you'll be there soon! We've just booked for Thanksgiving this year. We've never done that and I'm a little worried about crowds and weather! I'm excited to see the Christmas decorations, though! We're also throwing in our first cruise! I'm feeling really broke now and I think I need to re-read Dave Ramsey!!!


We had a good 4th of July except we spent it with the "perfect cousins" which is always a little rough. These cousins are all so similiar to my boys but then not at all, if you know what I mean. It's like I can see what my boys would have been and it makes me sad!


Have a great day everyone!

It's definitely been a little quiet....at least on the Schmolland thread. NOT in the KFK house! Tried letting DS go without meds for awhile. What was I thinking!? Finally gave in yesterday and restarted the Risperidone. Much better.

I will definitely fill you in on our trip. You'll love WDW during the holidays! I think that during Christmas is actually the most crowded so maybe you'll be OK on that front at least.

Don't feel bad. We haven't left yet and I'm already feeling broke.


We don't have perfect cousins...but we won't tell them. Seriously, we're lucky to have very understanding and accepting relatives. I absolutely know about the "same but different" feeling. It's that Seinfeld bizarro world thing.

 

[Daisy&Max]

Howdy Schmolland!

I"ve been busier out of school than I was while I was in school! Sounds like everyone is doing pretty well.

We are doing okay here. Oldest Schmutch is with his father this week so life here has been a little easier. Well as long as you don't count the part where the one that stayed home decided to take a brand new roll of toilet paper...one of the "give you so much you can't put it on the holder" kind of rolls and flush as much down the toilet as possible! So at 930 the other night I was at the hardware store buying a snake. Unfortunately I think he also put something else down there because no matter how far we snake it, it won't clear up. So when I get paid this week I'll be calling a plumber. Thank goodness this is our half bath. I was ready to choke him. OH and he had no explanation. I think he was just experimenting. LOL

Other than my car breaking down, my vacuum tried to break, a dead animal under my shed, and being perpetually broke...life here is pretty good! LOL

Max was in town this weekend so he fixed my car and my little guy was all over him. He even said he wished Max could live with us. We've made so much progress. And he didn't object to Max sitting with me or hugging me. In fact he wanted to join us. So i"m really thrilled with how much progress we've made. Now I just need to finish cleaning out the house and finding a job there and we should be able to move next summer.

OH and about the dressing thing. When my guys get dressed I have to check them out by looking at whether or not their shirts and shorts are facing the right direction, or if the shirts are right side out, if the pants are buttoned and / or zipped, and if the colors and patterns are acceptable. But I suppose i can't say much...I went to work wearing pinstriped pants with a shirt that had wide horizontal stripes! LOL

Time to run errands. Have a great day in Schmolland and I'll try to be around more often the rest of the summer.

Daisy

 

[toodycat]

Hey, everyone. Hope you're having a pleasant weekend. Daisy&Max--That's encouraging news re: DS and Max. KFK, glad to hear everyone is healthy.

We are fine. DS is off at a Pokemon competition. Yesterday,we took the cat to the vet for her shots and wound up adopting a kitten for DS. It's funny. He's 16 and he'd never seen newborn kitties before. (All our cats were adopted as adults.) He was charmed by this spritely little black and white kitten. DH and I agreed to adopt it at the end of the month after we come back from Cancun.

DS injured his back at karate. He was learning an advanced move in which you lift your opponent off the ground. DH told sensei that our kid has a weak back and should only simulate the move, but sensei told DS to do it anyway when they were working one-on-one (Grrrr...) and he had to lift a 180 lb man about 3 times! DS is about 5'11 and 170, so it wasn't such a mismatch, but he has a curve in his spine and could have herniated a disk. He's been complaining of back pain and I took him to the doctor yesterday. He has to do stretching exercises and not do karate or fence until at least Wednesday If the pain doesn't let up after that, I have to take him to a specialist.

As for the dressing thing, it's tough. I only stopped laying out DS's clothing every night in the last year or so. Now, he chooses outfits himself, but he has some misconceptions such as: 1. all polo shirts go with all cargo shorts, regardless of color and 2. tie-dye and denim are the new neutrals; they go with everything! He has a tie-dyed Donald Duck shirt from Mickey's Philharmagic that is his default shirt when he can't match things. Grey, black and navy are a mystery to him. He's a little bit color blind like DH, so they all seem the same. Last year, when I packed him for camp, I tried to include two weeks worth of tops and shorts that were all in the same color families and, therefore, could not be mismatched. It sort of worked.


Have a great week, everyone!

 

[kampfirekim]

Howdy Schmolland!

I"ve been busier out of school than I was while I was in school! Sounds like everyone is doing pretty well.

We are doing okay here. Oldest Schmutch is with his father this week so life here has been a little easier. Well as long as you don't count the part where the one that stayed home decided to take a brand new roll of toilet paper...one of the "give you so much you can't put it on the holder" kind of rolls and flush as much down the toilet as possible! So at 930 the other night I was at the hardware store buying a snake. Unfortunately I think he also put something else down there because no matter how far we snake it, it won't clear up. So when I get paid this week I'll be calling a plumber. Thank goodness this is our half bath. I was ready to choke him. OH and he had no explanation. I think he was just experimenting. LOL

Other than my car breaking down, my vacuum tried to break, a dead animal under my shed, and being perpetually broke...life here is pretty good! LOL

Max was in town this weekend so he fixed my car and my little guy was all over him. He even said he wished Max could live with us. We've made so much progress. And he didn't object to Max sitting with me or hugging me. In fact he wanted to join us. So i"m really thrilled with how much progress we've made. Now I just need to finish cleaning out the house and finding a job there and we should be able to move next summer.

OH and about the dressing thing. When my guys get dressed I have to check them out by looking at whether or not their shirts and shorts are facing the right direction, or if the shirts are right side out, if the pants are buttoned and / or zipped, and if the colors and patterns are acceptable. But I suppose i can't say much...I went to work wearing pinstriped pants with a shirt that had wide horizontal stripes! LOL

Time to run errands. Have a great day in Schmolland and I'll try to be around more often the rest of the summer.

Daisy

I completely understand about the toilet. Last year we had similar issues and DS had to buy a snake which was not helpful. DH had to lift the toilet off the floor........it was then that he found one of those small hand held fans with the neck strap! It wouldn't budge. Couldn't pull it out through the top or the bottom. We just tossed the old throne and got a new one! I hated the old one anyway!

That is wonderful news about DS' progress in accepting Max! I admire your willingness to take things slow and allow DS time to adjust in his own time.

I totally understand summer being busy. We're getting ready for our WDW vacation in a week. Not sure if we're gonna pay for WiFi or not so I may vanish for a couple of weeks myself. I'm thinking of checking into the ATT airtime cards because WDW charges way to much for internet access.

Hey, everyone. Hope you're having a pleasant weekend. Daisy&Max--That's encouraging news re: DS and Max. KFK, glad to hear everyone is healthy.

We are fine. DS is off at a Pokemon competition. Yesterday,we took the cat to the vet for her shots and wound up adopting a kitten for DS. It's funny. He's 16 and he'd never seen newborn kitties before. (All our cats were adopted as adults.) He was charmed by this spritely little black and white kitten. DH and I agreed to adopt it at the end of the month after we come back from Cancun.

DS injured his back at karate. He was learning an advanced move in which you lift your opponent off the ground. DH told sensei that our kid has a weak back and should only simulate the move, but sensei told DS to do it anyway when they were working one-on-one (Grrrr...) and he had to lift a 180 lb man about 3 times! DS is about 5'11 and 170, so it wasn't such a mismatch, but he has a curve in his spine and could have herniated a disk. He's been complaining of back pain and I took him to the doctor yesterday. He has to do stretching exercises and not do karate or fence until at least Wednesday If the pain doesn't let up after that, I have to take him to a specialist.

As for the dressing thing, it's tough. I only stopped laying out DS's clothing every night in the last year or so. Now, he chooses outfits himself, but he has some misconceptions such as: 1. all polo shirts go with all cargo shorts, regardless of color and 2. tie-dye and denim are the new neutrals; they go with everything! He has a tie-dyed Donald Duck shirt from Mickey's Philharmagic that is his default shirt when he can't match things. Grey, black and navy are a mystery to him. He's a little bit color blind like DH, so they all seem the same. Last year, when I packed him for camp, I tried to include two weeks worth of tops and shorts that were all in the same color families and, therefore, could not be mismatched. It sort of worked.


Have a great week, everyone!

Thanks toodycat! Glad to hear all is well with you. Congrats on the kitty AND the trip to Cancun! Hope you have a great time!

I hope your son's back is okay! What was the instructor thinking? Nothing is worth a permanent injury to the spine. I'll say an extra prayer for him tonight.

You mean all polo shirts really don't go with all cargo shorts?

 

[Daisy&Max]

I'm so jealous of you going to WDW KFK. I want to go so bad and its looking like my plans might fall through due to cost. Max doesn't want me to lose my trip so he is trying to figure out if he can help me out some more so we can go. Of course he would go to. So we'll see.

OH and last time Max was here, DS6 warmed up to him but didn't seem to notice that he was gone. This time he was really a little pill after Max left. So I asked him if he was upset that he was gone. He told me that he wanted him to live with us and didn't want him to leave. Then a little while later when I was getting dressed to go run errands he brought me a not he had written to Max that he wanted me to mail to him. It said, "Max I love you. I wish you would stay. Love E" I almost cried. I immediately took a picture with my cell and sent it to Max so he would know how E was feeling. He was thrilled. Now we just have to make sure his kids can accept me and we should be able to have a wonderful life. LOL

Oldest DS is with his dad so i don't hear much from him when he's there. I guess things are going well. He was a little upset that he wouldn't be here when Max was but he got over it quickly because his Uncle had come to town so he forgot all about Max.

TC..I understand the shorts and the polo shirts! However, my son's use color as their jumping off point....two different shades of red or red and orange, or two shades of green. Sometimes I have to say, "yes they are the same color but they don't go together. "

Oh and that's wonderful on the kitty! Our bunny seems to be sick so I'm afraid that we will lose her this week when we take her to the vet. My kids are also into the Pokemon thing. They play on the DS all the time.

KFK...I think our problem is farther down in the pipe. It was suggested that I go in through the drain somethingorother that is under the house. That's a big fat negative! I do not go under the house, i don't like, I won't do it. So I will rent some of my beloved DVC points and pay for someone to do it for me.

I have an MRI tomorrow afternoon for my knee. I'm so hoping they can find out what is wrong. So I've asked a girl friend to come to the dr office to sit with DS6 and keep him out of trouble while I'm in the testing room. I've already warned her, and honestly she knows, that he will probably ignore her most of the time and she is okay with it. She understands him.

off to night night land!

Daisy