Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[persimmondeb]

Thank you! And yes it was quite an adventure!!! I think we all had a reasonably good time, though.

 

[melissa37]

I just had to share! We celebrated my schmutch's 8th birthday yesterday and he drove a go kart for the first time. You should have seen all four of his grandparents and I, we were all a mess, we were so nervous. But he was cool as a cucumber and only smacked into the guard rail once. We couldn't believe he had the control and coordination to drive around that track, and no meltdown when he had to drive off! It's so exciting to see them do something when you're so nervous they might not be ready. He was so cute, we're all trying to say “No, you can't do that” and he just refuses to leave until we let him try! There’s a lesson here for all of us! He definitely knows how to get his point across with few words!

On a different topic, I bought a small DVC contract!!!!!! I'm going for my first solo trip the end of September to AKV!!!!!! I can't believe it! This is my reward for surviving the horror of autism on a plane!

 

[MRYPPNS]

Melissa37 Congrats on your DVC purchase!!!!

 

[toodycat]

Congrats on the DVC purchase. What a great photo of the bumper car milestone.

DS left for camp in Maine today. He flew on his own. Right now, I am waiting for his text, confirming that the camp employees have picked him up. I cannot believe we have gotten to this point.

 

[bookwormde]

Mellisa37,

He has been practicing in his mind, so he should be good.

Welcome home (DVC thing) We love DVC, especially the villas since it make the aspie diet so much easier.

bookwormde

 

[kirstenb1]

Melissa, congrats on the go-kart and DVC!! You'll love AKL, very relaxing.

Toodycat, I hope your son got to camp okay, and will ahve a great time.

 

[Daisy&Max]

Okay, Schmolland, I need help. Oldest DS has not learned his lesson on taking things that aren't his. I caught him stealing a pack of gum from Wally World this weekend. He wanted me to buy him candy and I said no, he didn't need it. So he sat and starred at it because he thought I would change my mind. I didn't. So I made him stand up and put his hands on the basket so he wouldn't touch anything. But apparently he managed to do it anyway.

All of a sudden he went from being a pouty faced brat to a sweet loving child who told me he loved me even tho I wouldn't buy him anything. I should have known something was up because he was too syrupy. Then he went to sit down while I finished the check out process.

As we headed out I hugged him and told him that I loved him even when he was begging for stuff. That's when I smelled the fruity on his breath and grabbed his pockets to find out what he took. I think he just grabbed the closest thing he could find and then walked away from me to eat it.

I took him to the manager and we told her what he did. She was very nice and wasn't harsh with him at all. I told him that I wished we had called the police and had them talk to him about the stealing. We then paid for it and then I made him throw it in the trash can to show he just wasted the money.

I just don't know what to do. I understand he perseverates on things and he just has to have it but I don't want him to go to jail. I was in tears that night trying to figure out what to do. I punished him that night but I don't know how to stop this behavior short of sending him to jail the next time so he can hopefully learn his lesson.

any suggestions?

Daisy

 

[bookwormde]

While in stuations like this you have to deal with the behavior in the moment, it is important to figure out what the skill and/or understaning that is missing, that makes behaviors a reasonable course of action to our kids.

Talking about it "logically" is often the best route. Most of our kids have a heightened sense of social justice so utilizing the "fairness" card is useful if you can relate it to a situation where he might be on the other side of stealing. Many of our kids do not understand the "commercial world" so it is a skill that needs to be tought just like any other.

bookwormde

 

[Daisy&Max]

Thank you, I will try that when we go out in public the next time. I'm just so frustrated with him right now.

 

[kampfirekim]

We're back from WDW! Had a great time. I haven't had time to catch up on what's going on here yet, just wanted to pop in and say HI!

 

[Nik's Mom]

Boy, all of these WDW reports make me want to go back. Glad everyone is having a great time.

DS 11 starts middle school in two weeks. I'm nervous for him. I worry how kids will treat him, since he will no longer be attended his home school. This transition will be hard on my other ds because he will not have his brother close by at school anymore. They were in the same resource room for the past 2 years. Now, his brother will be gone, as well as one other classmate.

Daisy&Max, so sorry about your ds. You sound like you handled the situation well. I remember hearing stories about a cousin who did that. He just didn't understand what was wrong with grabbing something if he wanted it. Hi mom ended up having him put his hands behind his back as he walked around a store. This way, she could be on alert as soon as she noticed his hands were no longer at his back.

 

[bookwormde]

4 weeks till my DS starts middle school also, more than a little concerned but still hopeful.

bookwormde

 

[Kat77]

Hello Schmolland!
I had the honor of welcoming a visitor to the land of Schmolland tonight. She's an old friend who is preparing to teach an autistic student and called on me for some direction towards resources. I actually teared up explaining that Schmolland's our spin on the cheesy Holland story. Insane much?! Tearing up over my internet thread friends... such is the plight of an exhausted special needs parent.
I think Bookworm would be proud of my explaination of a social autopsy! What a fantasic way to put meltdowns in a different light and focus on understanding, rather than punishing.
Anyhow, my poor friend came to me for answers and I think I sent her off with a million different questions instead. How helpful is that really? She scheduled a guided tour of Schmolland only to learn half the tour is conducted in Schmutch.

 

[Kat77]

All of a sudden he went from being a pouty faced brat to a sweet loving child who told me he loved me even tho I wouldn't buy him anything. I should have known something was up because he was too syrupy. Then he went to sit down while I finished the check out process.

any suggestions?

Daisy

Yup, I have one: Always beware of sweet talkers!

Seriously, I also think you handled things well in the moment. This one was unquestionable theft! How frustrating that the manager did not have your back and help scare the kid straight. I don't have any great advice. My RAD kid began stealing cell phones from classmates last year and we had to hunt down an officer willing to come do the scare tactic routine on her. I was beginning to think I would have to rent a uniform and ask one of my brothers friends to do it.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I feel kind of guilty to admit this, but I am so ready for school to start. I'm a stay at home mom to my 2 boys. It gets hard at times to be home all day, 7 days a week, with no break from the kids. We have no family here and my one friend that I would trust to watch my sons is away on vacation. So I have had no break all summer long. Plus, dh has traveled on business 2 times in the past month. I'm going to mention to dh that I need a break. I don't think he realizes how hard it is to care for 2 special needs kids all day. Tomorrow, I just want to go grocery shopping alone. That is all I want. Just to be totally alone for one hour.

Don't get me wrong. I love my boys dearly. But it does get hard at times. I guess I'm having a hard day today.

 

[Daisy&Max]

Nik's mom...I feel your pain. I am the same way, I'm over dealing with my two ASD boys 24/7 for the last almost 2 months. I have my mom here but her health isn't good so she can't watch the kids for long periods of time and add to that she can't help out around the house. So instead of wanting the kids to go back to school, *I* want to go back to work. I'm a teacher and I need to go back to work so I can have some peace and quiet. Don't feel guilty about it, I think we need that respite.

Heck, right now I'm trying to figure out how to go and get my hair colored. My mom offered to do it for me but I really just want to get out of the house and feel pampered for a little while.

I haven't taken oldest DS out in public since he stole the gum last week. We have talked about what he did but he doesn't really seem to get it. Even when I asked him if he would like to have someone steal something from him. It makes me sad to think that if he doesn't learn some empathy he will get himself into serious trouble when he gets older. I do like the idea of folding arms or hands in pocket for when we go out. I will have to make him do that so I don't have to worry about him stealing things.

Daisy

 

[Nik's Mom]

Thanks, Daisy&Max. I used to work too, so that probably is making my cabin fever even worse! I was an advisor at a University when we lived in California. Oh, I hear you about the grooming issues. I haven't had my eyebrows waxed since May! I'm doing that on the first day of school. I started coloring my own hair at home. Otherwise, I'd be a tri-colored nightmare!

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

 

[Daisy&Max]

Eyebrow waxing? What's that??? Thank goodness I have long bangs! hehehehe

I told Max that I couldn't really justify going out and getting my hair done because my mom could do it for free. He called me and told me that he solved the problem. He is sending me Visa Gift Cards to cover going to the salon and getting my hair colored. He wants me to have my me time and he know's I'm happier when my I don't look gray. I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

Kat77...I know what you mean about the sweet talkers. He is can be a really smooth one when he wants something. I usually know when he is up to something when he is being like that. I have a school resource officer at my middle school so I might as him to talk to my son too. He's a big guy and can be mean looking.

Daisy

 

[ppony]

LOVE eyebrow waxing! Tames the jungle eyebrows.

Anyway! Question for your guys that have been through this. Daniel doesn't tolerate (currently though we're working on it) any kind of harness or wrist leash. The EEG he has last week was horrendous. He screamed and arched his back the whole time (45 minutes). And that was just because of his head being wrapped w/ gauze. I'm not optimistic about getting a harness on him for our WDW trip, but has anyone ever used something like a Kinderkord or a retractable dog leash and attached it to a belt loop or around the waist? He's getting so he doesn't want to be in his stroller as much anymore but if I put him down to roam he'll take off.

Ideas welcome!

 

[Daisy&Max]

LOVE eyebrow waxing! Tames the jungle eyebrows.

Anyway! Question for your guys that have been through this. Daniel doesn't tolerate (currently though we're working on it) any kind of harness or wrist leash. The EEG he has last week was horrendous. He screamed and arched his back the whole time (45 minutes). And that was just because of his head being wrapped w/ gauze. I'm not optimistic about getting a harness on him for our WDW trip, but has anyone ever used something like a Kinderkord or a retractable dog leash and attached it to a belt loop or around the waist? He's getting so he doesn't want to be in his stroller as much anymore but if I put him down to roam he'll take off.

Ideas welcome!

I wish I could help you. My oldest loves the deep pressure so he wanted to wear his harness, he would wear it around the house too and he wanted it until he was about 5. My youngest tolerated it, didn't love it, but tolerated it. Oh and my oldest stayed in the stroller until about 5 when i made him get out of it! LOL

Have you tried one that looks like a backpack and then he can carry some of his own stuff in it?

I wish i could be of more help. Sorry. I hope somoene has some good ideas for you!

Daisy