ex husband rant

[Briar Rose 7457]

apparently detente is over.

i called him to discuss financial issues. specifically, his financial obligations. I already garnish his salary, but there are other expenses he's got to pay that aren't part of the granishment.

his comment?


"I don't care what our divorce agreement says, I'll pay what I decide to pay, I'll do what I want, and if you don't like it, take me to court!"

sigh. if I take him to court, the court will make him pay what he owes me, and will likely award me attorneys fees. and possibly sanctions, since this is certainly not the first -- or even the 10th -- time he'spulled this nonsense.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[winniedapooh]

I'm sorry he is being so mean.....pixie dust and kind thoughts being sent.

 

[meandtheguys]

I am sorry that you have to deal with that kind of nonsense! You and those beautiful young ladies do not deserve that!

Michelle

 

[jx3smom]

I am so glad my two are out of college and we no longer have to put up with this. Mine have chosen to have no contact with him at all. He did not live up to all of his obligations but we are just happy to be rid of all the headaches.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

the leopard doesn't change his spots. I was starting to think we'd reached detente of sorts. an issue came up with the kids where he was supportive and cooperative. now we're back to nonsense.

I'm tired of it.

I either have to forgive a substantial debt -- severla thousand dollars -- or take off 2-3 days from work to go to court to collect it.

 

[niks81]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
his comment?


"I don't care what our divorce agreement says, I'll pay what I decide to pay, I'll do what I want, and if you don't like it, take me to court!"

sigh. if I take him to court, the court will make him pay what he owes me, and will likely award me attorneys fees. and possibly sanctions, since this is certainly not the first -- or even the 10th -- time he'spulled this nonsense.

Sounds like my dad. Typical Don't you just want to wring his neck....it's like DUH, you do have to pay so why do you have to be so difficult? Just take care of your financial obligations and quit being so darn troublesome. They just don't learn. Of course, mine went to the point that when I went to college, he told my mom and stepdad that he wasn't interested and signed all rights he had as my parent over to my mom and stepdad without a second thought, because he's so cheap

Good luck....the ones like that never learn

 

[Winka]

That's horrible.

If you don't mind my asking, what was the nature of some of these expenses he's refusing to pay? They weren't medical were they? I understand you already hold some of his wages which probably go to support your child's living expenses, so I know he isn't trying to withold that....

In any case, it is obviously something you're sure the courts will find him responsible for...good luck.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

it's an obligation we already went ot court on. I won. he appealed, and I won again. I can't believe we're arguing the same issue AGAIN. he knows that the girls won't suffer if he doesn't pay, that I'll take care of it myself. he's always expected someone else to pay his way. and he's right, I always do.

what bothers me most about it is...I am a lawyer. I did the legal research. I wrote the legal brief the last time we went into court on this particular issue. my lawyersigned his name to the papers, but I did all the real work.

but my ex, who never went to law school, well he knows more aobut the law than I do. he makes bogus legal arguments about why he doesn't have to pay. he's certain he's right and I'm wrong. it's infuriating.

 

[Winka]

Another for you and a for your ex.

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
but my ex, who never went to law school, well he knows more aobut the law than I do. he makes bogus legal arguments about why he doesn't have to pay. he's certain he's right and I'm wrong. it's infuriating.

isn't there a famous quote, that says something like...

" a man who represents himself in court, has a fool for a client."

that appears to be what you're dealing with..

 

[Stepharoonie!]

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

yes, I am dealing with a fool.

if I take him back to court, not only will he have to pay what he owes, he might have to pay attorneys fees and sanctions. I've collected costs and attorneys fees from him before.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Then he must like wasting his money.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

he just thinks he's always right. and that he's smarter than I am.

I really thought things would settle down by now. I've had almost 10 years of this nonsense.

 

[kasar]

That really stinks. Why can't these guys see that no matter how they feel about their ex-wife, it's the kids who suffer?

Best of luck to you - I'm sure you have it under control but how much should you have to put up with?

 

[crazyme5kids]

I feel so bad for you. Don't let him get the best of you, obviously he isn't that smart if he keeps wasting his time on something he keeps losing.

 

[Belle1962]

Taking time off work to go to court: in some states spouses have successfully filed suit in small claims court and won their time off from work costs (and in some states you can claim it with the attorney fees that you will get when you win and he is found in contempt in your civil case).

My STB-ex is the same way...I've let him talk me down from $350 a month in alimony to $250 just because the hassle isn't worth it....and as far as the other bills he owes me for..he's graciously agreed to give himself a six month repayment plan--even though I've already paid the bills and am out of pocket for the $$$ (no interest charges in his repayment plan either) We get along fine until $$$$ is mentioned then look out.

But then, it's worth it to be rid of him--and we don't have kids.

 

[niks81]

Trust me when I say, I feel your pain

My mom finally gave up because she was just so sick and tired of having to MAKE him do everything--so she and my stepdad just pay for things without even asking him anymore. He got out of it, just like he wanted.

DEADBEAT!!!

Good luck with your situation....I know it is frustrating.

 

[Mickey527]

NOt sure if your state laws are different from CT.
My ex took me back to court 14 times in 13 years. Every time I got the least bit of a raise he somehow found out and took me to court to try and lower child support. I never told my 3 boys (who I had total custody of) about the raises but he found out.
Eash time we went to court it cost me over $1,000 and since he had the high priced lawyer it cost him over $2,000. I asked the judge on the 8th time if I could sue for lawyers fees and the judge told me that if he allowed that he would be taking away my ex's right to take me to court. so I had to pay each time.
They never lowered child support, but the did raise it once when they saw how much more my ex was making with all his raises.
My divorce occured in 1987. Before the law was changed to cover children until they are 18 or graduate from High School. My oldest boy turned 18 in October of his senior year, and my youngest was 18 in August just prior to going into his senior year. My middle son quit school so it didn't matter for him.
My boys went to private grammer and high schools because of the major problems in the public schools here. I had to pay for them. I got $600 per month, $300 per child per month. Their tuition was over $5,000 per year so the child support just barely covered the tuition, let alone clothes, food, etc.
My ex took them on every other weekend for the first year of the divorce but that stopped when he got the new girlfriend.
It was so nice once my boys finally turned 18 because I didn't have to deal with the ex at all, except now, my oldest is getting married this June and Dad is invited. Should be fun. Peggie