Elementary Schoolers and texting/messaging?

[katie01]

None of my kids have cell phones or ipads yet, and my oldest is 14! My 14 year old communicates with his friends though via his xbox headset. He has no trouble socializing and making plans to get together outside of school. Believe it or not several of his friends don't own cell phones either, including his best friend. My 11 and 8 year old girls each have a Kindle Fire, and like you said OP, we haven't really found something for them to text on. My 8 year old's plans all go through the parents, none of her friends that I know of have cell phones yet, some I'm sure have ipads and ipods, but she doesn't say that her friends are really texting each other yet (that's what I'm wondering for those of you who say their young kids make all the plans through their phones, they can't drive yet, at what point or through what method are the plans relayed to the parent who drives them to their get togethers? I'm imagining my 8 year old telling me about all sorts of texted plans that aren't OK'ed by the parents, because she already tends to do this with verbal communication until I contact the parent myself and find out that there was no such arrangement lol. ). I would like to at least get an ipod for my 11 year old, because she and my 8 year old started a new school this year, and while my 8 year old's social life has taken off, my 11 year old doesn't have one at all, so I want to do whatever I can there to help her be included. My husband and I are paying $150 a month though for our own two cell phones plus $100 for a landline, and we JUST got our first decent smartphones this year, I can't really see where we are going to stretch our budget to add more cell plans...if we get one for our 11 year old we'd certainly have to do so for our 14 year old too. Wondering how so many people can afford cell plans starting in first grade...

 

[DawnM]

My current 6th grader has been texting for years. First with an iPod (well, an un-connected older iPhone) and then a cell phone at the start of 5th grade.

 

[BrianL]

My youngest doesn't have a phone plan. She (and her friends) use iMessage(?), which comes with an Apple product and can be used over wifi. My DS uses it also.

You are technically correct, but if kids have ipods or ipads (or an iphone with no cell service), they already have the app.

Right, I just meant iMessage and the like isn't true SMS and won't send to devices without the app (or non-Apple devices in the case of iMessage).

 

[mjkacmom]

None of my kids have cell phones or ipads yet, and my oldest is 14! My 14 year old communicates with his friends though via his xbox headset. He has no trouble socializing and making plans to get together outside of school. Believe it or not several of his friends don't own cell phones either, including his best friend. My 11 and 8 year old girls each have a Kindle Fire, and like you said OP, we haven't really found something for them to text on. My 8 year old's plans all go through the parents, none of her friends that I know of have cell phones yet, some I'm sure have ipads and ipods, but she doesn't say that her friends are really texting each other yet (that's what I'm wondering for those of you who say their young kids make all the plans through their phones, they can't drive yet, at what point or through what method are the plans relayed to the parent who drives them to their get togethers? I'm imagining my 8 year old telling me about all sorts of texted plans that aren't OK'ed by the parents, because she already tends to do this with verbal communication until I contact the parent myself and find out that there was no such arrangement lol. ). I would like to at least get an ipod for my 11 year old, because she and my 8 year old started a new school this year, and while my 8 year old's social life has taken off, my 11 year old doesn't have one at all, so I want to do whatever I can there to help her be included. My husband and I are paying $150 a month though for our own two cell phones plus $100 for a landline, and we JUST got our first decent smartphones this year, I can't really see where we are going to stretch our budget to add more cell plans...if we get one for our 11 year old we'd certainly have to do so for our 14 year old too. Wondering how so many people can afford cell plans starting in first grade...

We have 7 iPhones on our plan. Expensive, but it is what it is, with 5 teenagers.

 

[morgan98]

None of my kids have cell phones or ipads yet, and my oldest is 14! My 14 year old communicates with his friends though via his xbox headset. He has no trouble socializing and making plans to get together outside of school. Believe it or not several of his friends don't own cell phones either, including his best friend. My 11 and 8 year old girls each have a Kindle Fire, and like you said OP, we haven't really found something for them to text on. My 8 year old's plans all go through the parents, none of her friends that I know of have cell phones yet, some I'm sure have ipads and ipods, but she doesn't say that her friends are really texting each other yet (that's what I'm wondering for those of you who say their young kids make all the plans through their phones, they can't drive yet, at what point or through what method are the plans relayed to the parent who drives them to their get togethers? I'm imagining my 8 year old telling me about all sorts of texted plans that aren't OK'ed by the parents, because she already tends to do this with verbal communication until I contact the parent myself and find out that there was no such arrangement lol. ). I would like to at least get an ipod for my 11 year old, because she and my 8 year old started a new school this year, and while my 8 year old's social life has taken off, my 11 year old doesn't have one at all, so I want to do whatever I can there to help her be included. My husband and I are paying $150 a month though for our own two cell phones plus $100 for a landline, and we JUST got our first decent smartphones this year, I can't really see where we are going to stretch our budget to add more cell plans...if we get one for our 11 year old we'd certainly have to do so for our 14 year old too. Wondering how so many people can afford cell plans starting in first grade...

I get what you are saying and they may very well be one of those things that varies with the socio-economic area you live in. Based on what the median household income is in the US, you are right in that there are probably many families that cannot afford it and do not afford it and the elementary aged kids make do without it. However, there are other places where it is the norm.

Just an observation, but at some point you may want to consider getting rid of your landline in order to free up some $$$ once your kids are at the age where they really want phones.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think "kik" works on kindles. It's basically just like text messaging, but instead of using phone service it uses internet. Her other friends would need to install the free app on their phone/ipod/kindle etc., but honestly a lot of kids around here have it anyways.

This is what DD10 uses on her Kindle Fire. My mom also has it on her iPhone so she can keep in touch directly with DD. DD messages numerous friends this way.

 

[katie01]

We have 7 iPhones on our plan. Expensive, but it is what it is, with 5 teenagers.

I feel like cell phones will be a must once our kids are driving, for sure. I just can't imagine purchasing them starting in first grade for all my kids like some have mentioned, kwim? For one we couldn't afford them, but for another thing I just can't imagine my kids not losing them at that age!

 

[mom2rtk]

None of my kids have cell phones or ipads yet, and my oldest is 14! My 14 year old communicates with his friends though via his xbox headset. He has no trouble socializing and making plans to get together outside of school. Believe it or not several of his friends don't own cell phones either, including his best friend. My 11 and 8 year old girls each have a Kindle Fire, and like you said OP, we haven't really found something for them to text on. My 8 year old's plans all go through the parents, none of her friends that I know of have cell phones yet, some I'm sure have ipads and ipods, but she doesn't say that her friends are really texting each other yet (that's what I'm wondering for those of you who say their young kids make all the plans through their phones, they can't drive yet, at what point or through what method are the plans relayed to the parent who drives them to their get togethers? I'm imagining my 8 year old telling me about all sorts of texted plans that aren't OK'ed by the parents, because she already tends to do this with verbal communication until I contact the parent myself and find out that there was no such arrangement lol. ). I would like to at least get an ipod for my 11 year old, because she and my 8 year old started a new school this year, and while my 8 year old's social life has taken off, my 11 year old doesn't have one at all, so I want to do whatever I can there to help her be included. My husband and I are paying $150 a month though for our own two cell phones plus $100 for a landline, and we JUST got our first decent smartphones this year, I can't really see where we are going to stretch our budget to add more cell plans...if we get one for our 11 year old we'd certainly have to do so for our 14 year old too. Wondering how so many people can afford cell plans starting in first grade...

We have 2 older boys. One still doesn't care one whit about texting. The other did some in high school, but had zero interest in social media. Still doesn't do social media and he's away at college.

Our plan is $145 a month for 5 lines. We have 4 smart phones and one dumb phone. We own the phones outright. When my phone died this summer, I bought an unlocked refurbished one on Groupon. If your goal is to keep the monthly outlay low, look for a plan that doesn't include "free" upgrades.

Maybe when you decide to change things up on your plan you can shop for a cheaper landline and put the savings toward the additional cell lines. When we dumped our traditional AT&T land line, we got our home number moved over to a bundle through Comcast.

 

[katie01]

I get what you are saying and they may very well be one of those things that varies with the socio-economic area you live in. Based on what the median household income is in the US, you are right in that there are probably many families that cannot afford it and do not afford it and the elementary aged kids make do without it. However, there are other places where it is the norm.

Just an observation, but at some point you may want to consider getting rid of your landline in order to free up some $$$ once your kids are at the age where they really want phones.

I agree, at some point we are going to want to give up the landline. We just haven't bit the bullet yet, but I know the time is coming.

Oddly enough, we live in a high socioeconomic area, and my kids attend private schools where I feel like we are probably one of the least affluent families. I think in our particular case it's that a lot of the parents at our kids' schools are more conservative than most and are limiting their kids' exposure to certain media. Also, there are quite a few families with 6-8 children at their schools, so in those cases it would be a budgeting thing. My friends with same-aged kids at our local public schools seem to have purchased cell phones for their kids already, and like others have said, they would probably be left out of a lot of the socializing by now if that weren't the case.

 

[katie01]

We have 2 older boys. One still doesn't care one whit about texting. The other did some in high school, but had zero interest in social media. Still doesn't do social media and he's away at college.

Our plan is $145 a month for 5 lines. We have 4 smart phones and one dumb phone. We own the phones outright. When my phone died this summer, I bought an unlocked refurbished one on Groupon. If your goal is to keep the monthly outlay low, look for a plan that doesn't include "free" upgrades.

Maybe when you decide to change things up on your plan you can shop for a cheaper landline and put the savings toward the additional cell lines. When we dumped our traditional AT&T land line, we got our home number moved over to a bundle through Comcast.

Our son sounds like yours with the disinterest. We had asked before his 14th birthday if he'd like an ipad, and he said no. I can't see him ever being that interested in social media

 

[Lilacs4Me]

None of my kids have cell phones or ipads yet, and my oldest is 14! My 14 year old communicates with his friends though via his xbox headset. He has no trouble socializing and making plans to get together outside of school. Believe it or not several of his friends don't own cell phones either, including his best friend. My 11 and 8 year old girls each have a Kindle Fire, and like you said OP, we haven't really found something for them to text on. My 8 year old's plans all go through the parents, none of her friends that I know of have cell phones yet, some I'm sure have ipads and ipods, but she doesn't say that her friends are really texting each other yet (that's what I'm wondering for those of you who say their young kids make all the plans through their phones, they can't drive yet, at what point or through what method are the plans relayed to the parent who drives them to their get togethers? I'm imagining my 8 year old telling me about all sorts of texted plans that aren't OK'ed by the parents, because she already tends to do this with verbal communication until I contact the parent myself and find out that there was no such arrangement lol. ). I would like to at least get an ipod for my 11 year old, because she and my 8 year old started a new school this year, and while my 8 year old's social life has taken off, my 11 year old doesn't have one at all, so I want to do whatever I can there to help her be included. My husband and I are paying $150 a month though for our own two cell phones plus $100 for a landline, and we JUST got our first decent smartphones this year, I can't really see where we are going to stretch our budget to add more cell plans...if we get one for our 11 year old we'd certainly have to do so for our 14 year old too. Wondering how so many people can afford cell plans starting in first grade...

But you even say it - your 14 doesn't need a phone because he communicates through his xbox headset. Ipad/tablet, phone, ipod, laptop, xbox headset....all variations of the same thing: new technology that allows our kids to communicate without being face to face or picking up a phone (or ...umm...emailing? LOL)

We pay $200/month for 4 lines and 1 tablet service. 1 of the phones is paid for outright, the other three we pay about $14/month for. It would be two phone payments, but I *just* bought a new phone after my Galaxy S3 from 4 years ago stopped working

And to answer your question - at 8, I would still get on the phone to confirm the plans with my kids' friends. Now at (almost) 12 and 10, they make their own plans, ask me if it's OK, I look at their phones/tablet to see what the texts looked like, then I determine whether I need to get the the other mom involved. If my DD's text says "I asked my mom and she said OK" I'm usually good with that. If I have never met the kid or the parent, I will prob tell my DD to call her so I can talk to her. BUt by now, I know DD's friends and their parents well enough. DS10 needs a little more help with his social life still, but he just got his tablet so he is still new at it. I usually just have him call his friends and I sit near him in case I'm needed. But I like to let them try to make their own plans first....

 

[lanejudy]

Maybe some of it's regional. DD is in 5th grade. They have school-issued laptops (or netbooks or chromebooks or something like that) and school email addresses. They use their laptops throughout the day, phones or other devices are allowed during lunch period only. She has a tablet, though she doesn't text with it, and uses the home computer (and she can access her school account from home). To my knowledge most of her immediate friends do not yet have cell phones. They use the home phone to contact each other, though most social plans seem to be arranged in-person during the school day. I've tried to keep a pulse on the situation knowing that more technology will be invading our home in the near future, but as of yet she hasn't requested anything more or indicated that she's feeling left out because she doesn't have the right technology.

We have a home computer (desktop) and DH has an older laptop. We pay for his cell phone. DD's tablet has wifi. My cell phone and laptop are provided by my work; I don't carry a personal phone. Maybe we're behind the times, but so far it hasn't been a problem. I do suspect we'll be getting DD a cellphone within the next year or two as she starts to be more involved with school activities and needs to call for a ride or something. (Funny... a few weeks ago she had drama auditions after school and I asked her if there was a pay phone somewhere so she could call when done -- she looked at me like I had 2 heads and said "what's that?" I think I knew the answer before I finished the question!)

 

[StirlingSilver83]

My kids both have iPads...my oldest got his iPad at 4 Bc we were doing a 6 hour road trip and I wanted something to keep him occupied while we were driving. My youngest is 2 and just got his iPad and for pretty much the same reason but I also have lots of learning apps on there and it's a little backwards but he's already counting and knows his letters and colors before he can talk lol. I told my oldest though he can't have a phone until he's 10. He keeps asking for 1 though. I honestly don't know y though Bc his iPad can do everything a phone can do but whatever lol

 

[VandVsmama]

Maybe some of it's regional. DD is in 5th grade. They have school-issued laptops (or netbooks or chromebooks or something like that) and school email addresses. They use their laptops throughout the day, phones or other devices are allowed during lunch period only.)

I agree. It's definitely the sort of thing where the phrase "your mileage may vary" applies based on where you live and what school or district your kid(s) are in. My ODD is in 4th grade. Her school does not issue laptops to the students regardless of grade level and they don't use tablets either. The school has 1 classroom set of computers that a teacher has to check out for a specific block of time for that day. Phones, tablets, computers brought from home are prohibited. In some of the later grades, they require a graphing calculator, but they do not let you use your smart phone as your graphing calculator.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

i don't have to deal with this yet, but my 2 year old has her own Kindle Fire. We have it on strict lockdown, but we are letting her use it for educational age-appropriate apps. We will be paying attention to the trend in our area for kids getting phones too and will get her one when we think it is appropriate.

The reason we aren't fighting the trends? We don't want her to be behind educationally, and we also want her to learn about these things from us, and not from her friends. We plan to treat discussions about texting and social media with the same honesty and directness we do now about human anatomy and will have about puberty and sex.

 

[Turn the Page]

I guess that would work if you were ok with waiting a month or so for the reply. Kids that age just don't check email.

That's ok. They would get an alert on their smart phone saying they had an email or facebook message from their friend Sally and they would check it then.

 

[Poohforyou]

Op, I have a hs junior who got her 1st phone just before middle school. She did have an ipod touch starting in 4th grade.

A few ideas, you could get a free phone and add it to your plan for about $15 a month. Maybe have her do extra chores to pay for it. You could get a Trac phone. You could take an old phone and buy a prepaid Sim card.

 

[mefordis]

I have a DD who is in 4th grade, will be 10 next month. She's struggling a little in school with friendships and part of the problem seems to be that many of these kids communicate with each other outside of school through texting or messaging. This is not just her saying "everyone" has a phone, etc., I'm in her school frequently and I hear the kids talking about it myself.

She just received her first "device", a kindle fire for Christmas and I have no desire for her to keep up with the joneses in this regard, but I would like to figure out a way for her to be able to communicate with her friends. Many of these kids have their own ipads, macbooks, ipods, phones, etc. and while her own ipad or macbook won't be happening a phone or ipod isn't entirely out of the question, though I was really hoping to hold off till middle school for that, but maybe I am behind the times?

I've spent hours now trying to find a free texting app to work on her kindle fire with no luck. Any advice? What age did your child get a phone? How do your 4th/5th/6th graders keep in touch with their friends?

My 12 year old just got an iPhone when she turned 12. Before that she had an iPod since I believe 4th grade. My 7 year old had an iPad and a Macbook air. None of her friends text so she has to text with her older cousins and grandparents for now.

 

[mom2rtk]

That's ok. They would get an alert on their smart phone saying they had an email or facebook message from their friend Sally and they would check it then.

Buy why do you even need the email step if you have a smartphone?

 

[mefordis]

I"d like to add there is a level of drama and aggravation that can come with the texting. I'll just say that kids can be vicious and drop others from their group text on a whim, then go and talk about them in another group text, etc. Just be prepared for this when you go down this road.