Elementary Schoolers and texting/messaging?

[tvguy]

We are one of the few dinosaur families that still has a landline. It is a VOIP line, but still a central number in the house. I don't know a single other family that still has a family phone. Everybody has their own cell phones or some type of technology.
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41% of households still have a landline. But to be honest, a big chunk of the people I know who have a landline, only have it because it is included for free as part of their Cable TV/Internet bundle. We VoIP at work, I'm not a fan. We have one employee with a personal cell phone from the area code for Puerto Rico........our service is supposed to be good for all 50 states and all U.S. Territories.....they had a tough time convincing Avaya that Puerto Rico was a U.S. Territory.

 

[Skippy918]

We have VOIP via Ooma which is free. I have free cell service via Freedompop. My kids use the old iPad, and ds has a kindle fire. He's 7 and only texts and face times with grandma right now.

 

[mom2rtk]

Lord, I know that. As I posted in the Late for Work thread, it is a huge problem when people don't have a landline and their cell phone has a dead battery or other issue.

I get very frustrated with that. At least now that our kids are older it's not as big a deal. It used to drive me nuts when we had kids over who couldn't reach their parents when it was time to go home (because the cell was dead or buried in a purse somewhere).

 

[snoopy5386]

OP here, thank you all for your thoughts and advice, you have given me a lot to think about. DD is definitely young for her age and very much a kid still, she still spends hours upon hours playing pretend and barbie with her sister and has never really been one to be into electronics, video games or computers and she's also our oldest so this is our first round navigating this new world.

I don't want to hold her back, I want her to be able to have relationships with friends outside of school which she doesn't really have right now. She's friendly with everyone and gets along well with other kids, but doesn't really have any kids that she is close to outside of school and I am beginning to realize that part of that is because of a lack of a way to communicate. We don't live in the neighborhood where the majority of her elementary school lives, so she can't just go out and ring a doorbell to see her friends and even though we do have a landline, like many have said kids don't call each other much these days. Our school consists of 95% bus riders so no chance to hang out on the playground before or after school either.

It's interesting to see what the norm is in some places, there are no school issued anythings here in any grade, but the kids can bring their own devices to school here starting in 3rd grade. Their school has a computer lab in the library and a couple of notebook carts, but that's it for technology.

I think right now I am leaning toward a trac phone, not quite a smartphone, not quite a flip phone but something in between. And perhaps we can revisit the idea of her getting a hand me down iPhone when DH and I are ready to upgrade in a couple of years.

 

[gotomu212]

At my son's school (preschool through 12th grade) everyone is issued an iPad. It really weirded me out when he was 4 in pre-k and I'd get a text from him in the middle of the day. Now that he's in 2nd grade texting is beyond second nature.

To answer the OP concern about Internet safety concerns, my son's school starts at 3 years old teaching kids how to be safe online and emphasizing safe habits. At our first parent meeting the Tech teacher told us all it was like knives. The thought of you children playing with sharp knives is terrifying...but that doesn't mean we all lock our steak knives in a closet or insist our kids only go into the kitchen if we're standing there. We start at a very young age repeating "don't touch sharp" over and over and teaching them how to handle a knife safety. Most kids don't take a knife and run amok...it's the same concept with technology. Teach them how to be safe and most kids want to be safe and follow that. That's my PSA for the day.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

41% of households still have a landline. But to be honest, a big chunk of the people I know who have a landline, only have it because it is included for free as part of their Cable TV/Internet bundle. We VoIP at work, I'm not a fan. We have one employee with a personal cell phone from the area code for Puerto Rico........our service is supposed to be good for all 50 states and all U.S. Territories.....they had a tough time convincing Avaya that Puerto Rico was a U.S. Territory.

We only have one because it's a requirement for DSL where we live. Would LOVE to ditch the landline, it's just not an option

 

[tvguy]

We only have one because it's a requirement for DSL where we live. Would LOVE to ditch the landline, it's just not an option

LOL. 4 more years to retirement (I hope) and then we can ditch the cell phones! Well, I may keep a pay as you go phone in the glove box of the car.

 

[mrs.sammich]

My oldest ds is 11. He uses Skype on his Kindle to text and goof off with his friends. They agree on a time at school or they randomly check it to see if the other is there. He hasn't bugged us about a phone, because right now he doesn't 'need' it and he knows it. He is getting one at the end of the school year because he will be starting middle school and now that he's in boy scouts, he can attend activities without one of us, if he wants. We are not in a neighborhood, and by some standards are considered rural. When he goes to hang out with a friend or vice versa, the parents text each other to arrange drop offs or pick ups. That said, he's a boy and my girlfriend says her dd11, texts her friends often. Boys are not always the social butterflies girls are.

 

[DawnM]

If Sprint works in your area, and you don't need an iPhone, Republic wireless is great. The $10 plan allows for unlimited text and talk and no data (data only in wifi). The $25 plan allows for unlimited talk, text, and 3g data. The $40 plan includes 4g and LTE.

I tried it for about 2 months, but I admit I really, really missed my iPhone! So we now have a family plan with Dh's work and extra phones are just $15 each to add them in.

But if a kid needs his own plan or you just want something for less, I really liked Republic wireless.

 

[okeydokey]

That's for her to figure out. She will learn who her friends are.

Well since a parent has to provide the device, I would say a parent can be involved. Nothing wrong with helping your ten year old child.

 

[cijay]

Well since a parent has to provide the device, I would say a parent can be involved. Nothing wrong with helping your ten year old child.

Nothing at all wrong with helping your ten year old child but if she's the one who wants the phone and is deemed 'old enough' to use it, she's old enough to make decisions.

Think about it. I don't know about you but when I was 10, there were no cells, texting or anything. You either phoned them, saw them in school or went to their house. There were cliques back then. Didn't involve texting, was more about who you invited over, who you spent recess with, who you phoned after school. Some kids were included, some kids weren't. If you weren't invited to someone's house, your mother didn't walk you over there and make them play with you, right? (And, not sure about your neighbourhood but in mine, if she DID...that'd be a surefire way to see to it that you WERE in with the out-crowd.) So what's to be gained by mother stepping in to make sure the other kids include her kid in texting?

I know, it's a different world and nobody talks on the phone anymore (they don't talk around the table anymore, you can see an entire table of people in a restaurant, jawing their food and texting, not even talking to each other), texting saved a lot for me because I can't hear over a phone - but I do know who my friends are and several don't have cell phones at all.

 

[ronandannette]

LOL. I read this post aloud to two of my co-workers who happen to have 5th graders. They say e-mail is all their kids can use, unless they want to call from their parents landline.

Are they all of Amish decent by any chance?

Email?! My kids always tease DH when he uses the term email instead if text. Kids are more likely to Facebook than email, and that's saying something. Not having a cellphone today is like not having a landline in my day. I don't think my friends would have gone through the effort to mail me a letter. Social suicide.

Very grudgingly agree - completely. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is stodgier and "less evolved" than I am but even I had to see the writing on the wall and facilitate DS in moving into the modern era with a smart-phone in Jr. High and iPad in HS, both for social and educational purposes. To not have done so would truly have been in support of my outdated principles only and not really productive in any positive way.
ETA: My DS (now 19) and his young-adult friends still do use FB quite actively but I'm sure they will be the last generation to do so; similar to how my friends and I use e-mail.

I"d like to add there is a level of drama and aggravation that can come with the texting. I'll just say that kids can be vicious and drop others from their group text on a whim, then go and talk about them in another group text, etc. Just be prepared for this when you go down this road.

Sure - just like parents since the dawn of time have had to be aware that cliques form, kids can be mean and bullying is always a possibility. It's no different really - only the medium has changed. Finding your way during adolescence is tough - always has been; always will be.

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't know about you but when I was 10, there were no cells, texting or anything.

When I was 10, there were no personal computers or internet. Does that mean I should make my child use Encyclopedias and a typewriter to do their reports?
When I was 10, there was no cable TV. Does that mean I shouldn't let my kids watch Nickelodeon or Disney channel?
When I was 10, there were no CD players (much less DVD). Does that mean I should make my kids get cassette tapes for all the songs they like?
When I was 10, there was no EPCOT, DHS, or AK. Does that mean we should only visit the Magic Kingdom?

 

[cijay]

When I was 10, there were no personal computers or internet. Does that mean I should make my child use Encyclopedias and a typewriter to do their reports?
When I was 10, there was no cable TV. Does that mean I shouldn't let my kids watch Nickelodeon or Disney channel?
When I was 10, there were no CD players (much less DVD). Does that mean I should make my kids get cassette tapes for all the songs they like?
When I was 10, there was no EPCOT, DHS, or AK. Does that mean we should only visit the Magic Kingdom?

Oooh, I knew this was going to come up. My 82 year old dad used it all the time. I know you're not him because (a) he's dead (b) he couldn't work a computer even when he was alive.

So - when you were 10, your mother was instrumental on who your friends were? My mum was way out of that involvement by then.

 

[Hrhpd]

Nothing at all wrong with helping your ten year old child but if she's the one who wants the phone and is deemed 'old enough' to use it, she's old enough to make decisions.

Think about it. I don't know about you but when I was 10, there were no cells, texting or anything. You either phoned them, saw them in school or went to their house. There were cliques back then. Didn't involve texting, was more about who you invited over, who you spent recess with, who you phoned after school. Some kids were included, some kids weren't. If you weren't invited to someone's house, your mother didn't walk you over there and make them play with you, right? (And, not sure about your neighbourhood but in mine, if she DID...that'd be a surefire way to see to it that you WERE in with the out-crowd.) So what's to be gained by mother stepping in to make sure the other kids include her kid in texting?

I know, it's a different world and nobody talks on the phone anymore (they don't talk around the table anymore, you can see an entire table of people in a restaurant, jawing their food and texting, not even talking to each other), texting saved a lot for me because I can't hear over a phone - but I do know who my friends are and several don't have cell phones at all.

Providing a commonly used communication device for your child to use is not the same as forcing other children to be friends with your child or being overly involved. It is just that, providing the communication device that other children use.

You said your friends called you. Didn't your parents provide a phone for the family, phone that your friends could call you on? A phone because it was the most commonly used communication device of the era? Or did they give you a telegraph machine and tell you that if your friends really cared about you, they would figure out how to contact you using the telegraph? Well, a texting device, be it an iAnything, a tablet or a phone, is today's phone for our young people.

Did providing the household with the most up to date means of communication mean that your mom was over involved with you? No, she was just providing you with the tools of the era to make your own way in the world.

Providing a type of texting device for communication is no more involved than providing a phone line back in the day.

As for your friends, it is common that not all our friends of our generation have cell phones. If some people are not raised with technology like our kids are, they can be technology adverse. Other people just don't do well with change and will try to cling to the past as long as they can. There were probably people out there who fought indoor plumbing.

 

[sk!mom]

My DD19 got her first phone in 5th grade. Times continue to change though. I'm a 4th grade teacher and I would say that the majority of my students have a phone. I think that this is a very common age since it's an age when many kids start to stay home alone for short periods of time or walk home from school. Since more and more people do not have a landline, a child without a phone is completely out of touch.

 

[mom2rtk]

My DD19 got her first phone in 5th grade. Times continue to change though. I'm a 4th grade teacher and I would say that the majority of my students have a phone. I think that this is a very common age since it's an age when many kids start to stay home alone for short periods of time or walk home from school. Since more and more people do not have a landline, a child without a phone is completely out of touch.

I think it would be irresponsible to leave a kid home alone without access to a phone.

 

[tvguy]

My DD19 got her first phone in 5th grade. Times continue to change though. I'm a 4th grade teacher and I would say that the majority of my students have a phone. I think that this is a very common age since it's an age when many kids start to stay home alone for short periods of time or walk home from school. Since more and more people do not have a landline, a child without a phone is completely out of touch.

But are they allowed to use the phones during school hours and in the classroom?

 

[tvguy]

Are they all of Amish decent by any chance?


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LOL. Especially since most Amish still don't use landlines. And apparently live their lives just fine without. Shocking I know.

 

[mom2rtk]

LOL. Especially since most Amish still don't use landlines. And apparently live their lives just fine without. Shocking I know.

It only works because none of their friends have landlines either.