Elementary Schoolers and texting/messaging?

[sam_gordon]

The thing is that "Text Messaging" or SMS is a specific aspect of a cell phone plan (using existing frequencies or some-such technical things). You can't just do it over Wi-Fi. You need some kind of account to access that. I saw some workarounds to use email to send texts, but it sounds like it wouldn't work too well.

You can get apps for IMing, but they typically only work through each other (think Yahoo! Messnger) and both users must have the software/app.

My youngest doesn't have a phone plan. She (and her friends) use iMessage(?), which comes with an Apple product and can be used over wifi. My DS uses it also.

You are technically correct, but if kids have ipods or ipads (or an iphone with no cell service), they already have the app.

 

[Vernie822]

If you're considering a phone for her, what about a basic phone? No frills, no apps, but one that can call and text? That way, she can be in the loop with her friends, be able to reach you if needed, but not have access to all that's out there on the internet.

I'm 25, cell phones were a big thing when I was in middle school. But they were black and white, no color, etc. I got one at 15 and I was allowed to call and text, because that was all the phone did. My brother is 15 - he told my mom "but things are different now than they were when Ashley was 15!" It's crazy how things have changed.

iPods, at this point, basically do everything the phone does except call. I know there are apps like WhatsApp and Kik that my brother used prior to having a cell phone when he just had an iPod. (Personally I don't know how safe those are and I think they're pretty difficult to monitor).

 

[mom2rtk]

My daughter has one friend she has sort of lost touch with because that girl hasn't had a smart phone. It's unfortunate, but most of the discussions go on in group chats, and it's so easy for those without phones to be left out, especially once they reach high school and can go entire days without running into each other. Her parents don't even have a land line, so she couldn't call her if she wanted to.

I was definitely not sold on all this communication by device. With my daughter at 15 now, I'm still not sold on it. But the genie is definitely out of the bottle. And unfortunately the ones without some sort of device definitely do get left behind.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Haven't read through the responses yet, so I may duplicate/disagree with out knowing -

Even a couple years ago, when my oldest was in middle school (10th grade currently) not everyone had a phone or texted.

Now, this is almost the ONLY way kids connect. My DD11, almost 12, does not call any of her friends, ever, unless I tell her to get on the phone with one to ask a time-sensitive question. She,and her friends, use text, instagram, snapchat, etc the same way I used to sit on the floor of the kitchen with the phone cord wrapped around me for hours talking to my friends.

Running late and mom will give me a ride? Text BFF to let her know I'm not walking today
Do we have to do page 145, or 147 for homework? Send out a Snapchat to everyone in the class
Friend needs a copy of the flier that says when play auditions are? Take a pic of it and tag her on instagram

I used to think that no kid needed their own phone until they were old enough not to have to be supervised by an adult 24/7 (or middle school). And that was true a few years ago. Now, phones/tablets/etc offer so much more and kids have figured out how to use them for everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. But mostly the good, at least for my kids and their friends so far! And phones can do so much - my kids all have the Kindle app on their phones so we load books from the library instead of having to worry about returning them in two weeks.

We got a free tablet with internet when we added DD's phone line last year, and gave it to DS10. He mostly plays games on it, of course, but he also has a few friends that he texts - and trust me...they are def 10 year old 4th grade boy texts! They are all so silly about it and we often find DS10 cracking up in his room when he is texting with his 9 year old cousin. They are totally bonding, because for the life of us, we cannot figure out why texting "WHA???????" 50 times in a row is that hilarious.

Anyway, bottom line for me is, no kids will not die without a phone/tablet, but just like automobiles, electricity, and Microsoft Office, they are here to stay and they have helped make our kids' reality and lives what they are. We can keep fighting it or we can embrace it and teach our kids the right way to use technology.

FWIW, DD11 and her friends still seem like the same kind of normal kids that I was at their age with my friends - but instead of a landline phone and MTV, they have texting and YouTube to bond over. My friends and I once planned and executed an entire play production on our own - script, costumes, scenery, etc and performed it for our parents and siblings at a school. My DD and her friends spend hours making little eraser animal figures become animated through an app and posting the videos on youTube. It's really all the same thing when it comes down to it.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

My daughter has one friend she has sort of lost touch with because that girl hasn't had a smart phone. It's unfortunate, but most of the discussions go on in group chats, and it's so easy for those without phones to be left out, especially once they reach high school and can go entire days without running into each other. Her parents don't even have a land line, so she couldn't call her if she wanted to.

I was definitely not sold on all this communication by device. With my daughter at 15 now, I'm still not sold on it. But the genie is definitely out of the bottle. And unfortunately the ones without some sort of device definitely do get left behind.

^^^This - times a million.^^^

 

[Kae]

My kids got phones at 10. Most of the kids are here same age. They play in the neighborhood outside for the most part and there is a park close by that they would go to. Ds is now 18. They had to put them at the charging station during dinner, at night. they didn't take them to school. Until 7th grade when they had practices after school.

Kae

 

[Hannahinwonderland]

I work in a third grade classroom and many of the students have cell phones. They are very annoying as they sometimes ring during class! I just think it's a thing of the times now.

 

[Turn the Page]

DD9 is in 4th grade this year and at her birthday party 2 years ago a few of her friends had smart phones.....at 7 years old. It thought it was ridiculous then and I think it's ridiculous now. The night before last DD5 asked when she could have a phone.

DD9 does have a basic phone because she will sometimes ride the bus to my parents house after school and they no longer have a land line. In the case that she gets home before my Dad does she needs to be able to get in touch with someone if she needs to. We don't have a landline at my house either so I can see getting a child a basic phone for that reason but honestly, I don't care if all the other kids in school have a phone or not. That is not a good enough reason for me to get a cell phone for an elementary aged child. If her friends want to talk to her bad enough they can call my phone to talk to her. I have to say if that is the issue that is keeping the OP's DD from making friends then it sounds to me like she just doesn't matter enough to the other kids for them to make the effort and that is not the kind of friends I would want for my DD anyway.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

The thing is that "Text Messaging" or SMS is a specific aspect of a cell phone plan (using existing frequencies or some-such technical things). You can't just do it over Wi-Fi. You need some kind of account to access that. I saw some workarounds to use email to send texts, but it sounds like it wouldn't work too well.

You can get apps for IMing, but they typically only work through each other (think Yahoo! Messnger) and both users must have the software/app.

My husband set an app on DS10's tablet that lets him text and recieve texts - I think we had to set up a phone # for him for the tablet when we got it - TMoble - but he can get and recieve texts from any carrier. He cannot make or recieve phone calls, though. DH said that there way (another) app that would let him make calls, but we haven't looked into it yet.

I wish I knew more details, but from our experience, it can be done.

 

[Magpie]

For what it's worth, texting with friends helped my dyslexic son improve his written communication skills. Yes, everyone always points to the short forms kids use in their chat, but the fact of the matter is that they are using an agreed upon form of written communication, which has its own rules and customs. The skills they learn from texting are transferable to other forms of written communication. (Plus, their friends find it hilarious when they fail to communicate clearly or say things they don't intend - which teaches them to be more careful!)

As for my daughter - she actually got involved in long, complex creative writing endeavours with her friends over text. She'd write a bit, her friend would write the next bit, and another friend would write the third. Creative, and social!

And from my perspective, as a parent, I liked being able to always reach my kids, when they were out roaming the neighbourhood and playing with friends. And I liked that, the couple of times they got lost, they could contact me and ask for help. I distinctly remember a time when my son was 13, and he got turned around trying to get to a friend's house. He called me, and I asked him to read off the nearest street signs. Then I plugged them into Google maps and was able to give him directions to where he wanted to go.

While it's important to discuss the pitfalls of owning a phone, and to supervise them when they're young, I think kids having their own phones is a brilliant thing. I wish I'd had one when I was a kid.

 

[tvguy]

What's wrong with e-mail from the family computer?
My baby is 24, she didn't get a cell phone until 8 years ago, when she started driving at 16. I feel so out of date, a 5TH GRADER will a cell phone?!?
You guys did prompt me to check with my kids former schools, even high school, where cell phones are still forbidden in the classroom.
Gotta go, my landline is ringing.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I work in a third grade classroom and many of the students have cell phones. They are very annoying as they sometimes ring during class! I just think it's a thing of the times now.

Yes, and it sounds like schools are now starting to rewrite their cell-phone policies.

When DS15 (sophomore) was in middle school, they kids were not allowed to have phones at all in school, even at after-school events. I remember chaperoning Friday Fun Night and a kid was trying to call his mom at the end of the night for a ride. The Principal saw him and joked "Dude, can you at least try to hide your phone from me??!!"

Now DD11 is there (6th grade) and the kids can carry them openly, but have to have them in silent mode or else they are taken away (at the teacher's discretion...most give them a chance or two).

In high school, DS15 can do whatever he wants with his cell phone - it is up to each teacher to set their own rules for their classroom. Some don't want to see them/hear them AT ALL, and some couldn't care less as long as they are on silent and the kids are paying attention. Often, during lunch, the cafeteria has a game the kids can play interactively (like at Buffalo Wild Wings) through their phones. Winners are put up on the big screen on the wall and the kids win prizes. They love it.

Ds10's elemetary school - I'm not totally sure about their specific policy. I don't think they "allow" phones, per se, but they don't disallow them either. Teachers often send notes home about "electronic Fridays" where we sign a paper that our kid can bring in (a specific) device and the kids earn playing time from 1-2pm or something like that. Phones, Ipads/tablets, PSP's etc are all allowed.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

What's wrong with e-mail from the family computer?
My baby is 24, she didn't get a cell phone until 8 years ago, when she started driving at 16. I feel so out of date, a 5TH GRADER will a cell phone?!?
You guys did prompt me to check with my kids former schools, even high school, where cell phones are still forbidden in the classroom.
Gotta go, my landline is ringing.

Ummm....what 12 year old is going to log onto a computer and email at 7:12am to let their friend know that they won't be walking today so don't wait for them? And what 12 year old is sitting by their computer email waiting on the off-chance that they are going to get a new email?

Email for a tween is just about as old-fashioned as a pager.....

I have one kid in HS, one in MS, and one in elementary, and all three are allowed cell phones in their school is some capacity.

 

[mom2rtk]

What's wrong with e-mail from the family computer?
My baby is 24, she didn't get a cell phone until 8 years ago, when she started driving at 16. I feel so out of date, a 5TH GRADER will a cell phone?!?
You guys did prompt me to check with my kids former schools, even high school, where cell phones are still forbidden in the classroom.
Gotta go, my landline is ringing.

I guess that would work if you were ok with waiting a month or so for the reply. Kids that age just don't check email.

 

[jrmasm]

What's wrong with e-mail from the family computer?
My baby is 24, she didn't get a cell phone until 8 years ago, when she started driving at 16. I feel so out of date, a 5TH GRADER will a cell phone?!?
You guys did prompt me to check with my kids former schools, even high school, where cell phones are still forbidden in the classroom.
Gotta go, my landline is ringing.

We have BYOD in our elementary schools. So phones and tablets are allowed.

 

[tvguy]

I guess that would work if you were ok with waiting a month or so for the reply. Kids that age just don't check email.

LOL. I read this post aloud to two of my co-workers who happen to have 5th graders. They say e-mail is all their kids can use, unless they want to call from their parents landline.

 

[tvguy]

We have BYOD in our elementary schools. So phones and tablets are allowed.

How do kids whose parents can't afford devices deal with that?

 

[mjkacmom]

What's wrong with e-mail from the family computer?
My baby is 24, she didn't get a cell phone until 8 years ago, when she started driving at 16. I feel so out of date, a 5TH GRADER will a cell phone?!?
You guys did prompt me to check with my kids former schools, even high school, where cell phones are still forbidden in the classroom.
Gotta go, my landline is ringing.

Email?! My kids always tease DH when he uses the term email instead if text. Kids are more likely to Facebook than email, and that's saying something. Not having a cellphone today is like not having a landline in my day. I don't think my friends would have gone through the effort to mail me a letter. Social suicide.

 

[jrmasm]

How do kids whose parents can't afford devices deal with that?

There are netbooks in each classroom that they can use.

 

[mom2rtk]

LOL. I read this post aloud to two of my co-workers who happen to have 5th graders. They say e-mail is all their kids can use, unless they want to call from their parents landline.

While we still have a landline, most around here do not.

There reaches a point where critical mass is reached or you have to get on board or sit on the sidelines. You can control what you allow your own kids to do. But you can't control how everyone around them is communicating.

Do these kids you know have their own computers to check email with? If they're checking on the phone, they might as well text, snapchat, etc.

Most parents around here find it a lot cheaper to get phones for their kids instead of laptops or desktop computers (depending on what cell carrier they have).