Dummy and Nappy what to ditch first

You are not a terrible mom! Some of the judgment in this thread is so gross and unnecessary.

I can’t help with the potty training (I have a 2 year old, he has 0 interest) BUT we broke him of his paci addiction quite easily using the “pinhole” method. Basically you poke a little hole in their paci and every day make it a little bigger - it becomes less satisfying to them. It took 1 week with my son, halfway through the week I even snipped a bigger hole with scissors and he was immediately over it.

Good luck, don’t beat yourself up, and congrats on your new addition :)
Fortunately my son weaned himself off of the pacifier. His doctor said he suggested him giving it up by 3 years old. What I think worked was I stopped buying new ones. He would chew on them and I think they finally got to where they felt weird. One day he looked at one of them and threw it down. Never picked it up again.
 
Fortunately my son weaned himself off of the pacifier. His doctor said he suggested him giving it up by 3 years old. What I think worked was I stopped buying new ones. He would chew on them and I think they finally got to where they felt weird. One day he looked at one of them and threw it down. Never picked it up again.
My son had it in his mouth 24/7 and we were aware of the risks to oral development so cut it out at 20 months. In retrospect that could’ve gone a loooot worse 😂
 
DGD wanted to start ballet at 3 but had to be fully potty trained. DD offered her a "potty party" if she pooped in the potty three times. That's all it took.

there's gotta be a fun incentive that will motivate OP's kiddo.
 

Nope nobody has been mean here and I really appreciate the input. We've tried training, we had a huge incentive 3 months ago for a chance to see Peppa pig live, we tried really hard for 3 weeks but got nowhere. I felt so mean not letting her go to that show, hoping that she'll see a future one. We are in waiting for a gp for advice, but we can try again on Friday as uk health care waiting times are so long at the moment to get the appointment we need.

if we don't get anywhere immediately with potty training we'll ditch the dummy. Should we say bed only or get rid straight away. Just wondering as we'll expect the new baby to have them when arriving
 
People are not being harsh or mean. Providing perspective that was asked for isn't being mean or harsh. Nobody is calling her a terrible mother.

Totally agree.
I read back through everyone's post after I saw that comment and was like wait who was being mean?

I think OP came here to more or less be told exactly what she needs to hear from those not involved personally in order to know for sure that this is something that does need to be addressed and now for her child to be successful and no longer reliant on these things as she becomes school aged.
 
Totally agree.
I read back through everyone's post after I saw that comment and was like wait who was being mean?

I think OP came here to more or less be told exactly what she needs to hear from those not involved personally in order to know for sure that this is something that does need to be addressed and now for her child to be successful and no longer reliant on these things as she becomes school aged.
And she seems to be taking it all in and deciding what is going to work for her family. I hope it has provided good feedback.
 
Totally agree.
I read back through everyone's post after I saw that comment and was like wait who was being mean?

I think OP came here to more or less be told exactly what she needs to hear from those not involved personally in order to know for sure that this is something that does need to be addressed and now for her child to be successful and no longer reliant on these things as she becomes school aged.
Thanks I'm stressing about school it's the reason I needed to make this post, I want her as ready as possible. She's done great with most milestones and I'm so proud of her but I need to get her over these
 
And she seems to be taking it all in and deciding what is going to work for her family. I hope it has provided good feedback.

And its not like it all needs to happen by this weekend. Especially potty training takes time. I was 3.5yrs old and still in a diaper and would say whoops peed again.
I probably still had accidents until I was like 6. I knew where all the bathrooms were at Disney because every 30 minutes I'd need to go.
 
Thanks I'm stressing about school it's the reason I needed to make this post, I want her as ready as possible. She's done great with most milestones and I'm so proud of her but I need to get her over these

I'd start out by requiring the childcare facility to stop putting a nappy on just because of an accident. That's absolutely ridiculous on their part.
And maybe see if you can buy some training underwear. Not pull ups. Those are too nappy like. Instead try the ones that are underwear that basically have some absorbency in them.
And you need to ask her frequently if she needs to go and also encourage her to TRY even if she says no if its been a bit since she last went.
 
Our DD still used a Binky (pacifier) at almost three. DH was watching her one day, looked down and said he was sick of seeing that thing in her mouth and threw it away. That was the end of Binky use. I was and still am aghast.
 
I'd start out by requiring the childcare facility to stop putting a nappy on just because of an accident. That's absolutely ridiculous on their part.
And maybe see if you can buy some training underwear. Not pull ups. Those are too nappy like. Instead try the ones that are underwear that basically have some absorbency in them.
And you need to ask her frequently if she needs to go and also encourage her to TRY even if she says no if its been a bit since she last went.
Yeah we tried to move childcare but couldn't, it's a silly policy. I don't expect them to train my child but we've been in times when consistency between home and there would maybe have helped
 
We did the three day method for potty training. Told him the night before that his diapers were going away and we were going to start using the potty the next day. He had a lot of accidents the first few days but he really got the hang of it super quickly, and not having diapers to fall back on was the key. We only used them during naps and at night. He was 2.5 when we trained him in preparation for going on a cruise. We used the course from Big Little Feelings. You have to watch them like a hawk and carve out three days where you do literally nothing else, but for us, it was a winner. He was showing no interest in the potty otherwise.

He stopped using a pacifier around two months but continues to suck his thumb. Unfortunately, there aren't many good options for breaking that habit. :P The pacifier fairy is the one I see the most - put all the pacifiers in an envelope and leave them outside for the fairy. She'll take them to other babies and leave a toy.
 
We did the three day method for potty training. Told him the night before that his diapers were going away and we were going to start using the potty the next day. He had a lot of accidents the first few days but he really got the hang of it super quickly, and not having diapers to fall back on was the key. We only used them during naps and at night. He was 2.5 when we trained him in preparation for going on a cruise. We used the course from Big Little Feelings. You have to watch them like a hawk and carve out three days where you do literally nothing else, but for us, it was a winner. He was showing no interest in the potty otherwise.

He stopped using a pacifier around two months but continues to suck his thumb. Unfortunately, there aren't many good options for breaking that habit. :P The pacifier fairy is the one I see the most - put all the pacifiers in an envelope and leave them outside for the fairy. She'll take them to other babies and leave a toy.
My mom told me I needed to leave mine under the tree for Santa.
 
We did the three day method for potty training. Told him the night before that his diapers were going away and we were going to start using the potty the next day. He had a lot of accidents the first few days but he really got the hang of it super quickly, and not having diapers to fall back on was the key.

This was the key with my daughter. She picked out the underwear at the store and once she tried them on, she didn't want to take them off. Once she figured out the "wet" mistakes and that "feeling", there was no looking back. She wore diapers for a bit at night only until they came up dry night after night.

The pacifier fairy is the one I see the most - put all the pacifiers in an envelope and leave them outside for the fairy. She'll take them to other babies and leave a toy.
Okay, *love* this idea. Banking it for future use with the grandkids! :thanks:
 
I'd start out by requiring the childcare facility to stop putting a nappy on just because of an accident. That's absolutely ridiculous on their part.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of daycares have this policy. I know when my Goddaughter was in daycare, hers did. My cousin had a hard time getting her fully into undies because the daycare would put her back in diapers if she had an accident.
 
Unfortunately, I think a lot of daycares have this policy. I know when my Goddaughter was in daycare, hers did. My cousin had a hard time getting her fully into undies because the daycare would put her back in diapers if she had an accident.
Our daycare had a two accidents per day policy. Honestly one of the reasons we did the three-day method was because I didn't want to draw it out, knowing they'd put a diaper back on him if he had a regression.
 
Unfortunately, I think a lot of daycares have this policy. I know when my Goddaughter was in daycare, hers did. My cousin had a hard time getting her fully into undies because the daycare would put her back in diapers if she had an accident.

Thats counterproductive when preschools/kindergarten requires them to be potty trained. If I worked at a daycare facility I would not want to be changing the diaper of a 4 year old. I'd rather just know that the parents brought in a couple extra outfits in the case of an accident and rinse out the clothes.
 
On the Peppa Pig reward: as a general rule, that kind of delayed-gratification reward doesn't really work well for young kids; they don't yet have the reasoning skills to understand delayed gratification. They will do the desired behaviour once and then when the promised reward doesn't appear, they usually abandon the effort (or get angry and deliberately sabotage it, even if unconsciously.) If you really feel you have to do that kind of future reward, the way to do it is to tie little immediate rewards to it, such as making her a sticker chart, then giving her a fancy sticker to fill in the box every time she demonstrates the desired behaviour. When all the boxes are filled in, then she gets the big reward. (Show tickets are usually not a great idea for this because they have to be purchased in advance. I'd go more for something like a trip to the zoo or a special trip with Mommy to get their hair done, that can easily be scheduled or canceled at will.) That way she does get a reward right away and feels much more like doing what you want is actually worth something.

As a previous poster noted, kids almost always regress when a new sibling is born, so while I agree it's best to try to toilet-train her before the new baby arrives, go easy on the "big girl" part of the praise. Once the baby is born and starts getting all the attention, she's going to see really quickly that being the "big girl" is actually not a good deal, and will almost surely try to become a "baby" again, because the baby seems better off. It's probably better to emphasize the icky part of nappies, like being stinky or itchy, or having a heavy nappy impeding how fast she can run, or having to spend so much time away from play getting it changed, when going to the toilet on her own is very quick and doesn't require an adult's help. Also, if at all possible, have Daddy spend a lot of special alone time with her now and going forward; to lessen the hurt of losing so much of Mum's attention.

Be sure to set up your toilet with nice-smelling "special" hand-soap and a step stool so that she can use it on her own. We got a small toilet ring that fit between the regular one and the toilet lid, and left it in the down position when the toilet wasn't in use. (The adults can simply flip it up out of the way. Our kids had that on the toilet here until about age 6, as it was more comfortable not having to balance on the rim.) Kids differ on whether or not they are frightened of being sucked into a toilet; if she is, use the kind that you have to empty for awhile.

Best of luck. FWIW, both of ours also were stubborn about toileting and held out as long as possible, but the threat of being left behind and not getting to go to preschool (Reception, in UK terms) with all their nursery friends finally did the trick.

PS: Funny story for you: our eldest was a definite pacifier junkie from birth, but when he was baptized at age 4 months his godmother accidentally dropped it into the font of Holy Water during the ceremony. When she retrieved it and handed it back to him, he immediately spit it out and refused to use one ever after that. I don't know if it was divine intervention, or an early indicator that he would grow up to be an atheist, but it was incredibly funny. (He did grow up to be an athiest, BTW. Hated parochial school just that much.)
 
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