Dog bit my kid.

[kayrosek]

When oldest DD was around 7 my moms german shepard got away from her at the park. He got DD by the stomach and pulled her off the swings. He wouldn't loosen his grip or let go and by the time we got him off she had several pinched type bruises and a few puncher wounds. She still has a scar. My mom wanted to get rid of the dog even though she loves it. My step dad threw a fit, blamed DD and then swore up and down that he had watched 4 year old DS hit the dog with a toy sword over and over again for 20 min. straight and the dog had simply waited until DS's big sister was alone several hours later to get his revenge on her little brother. Now first of all DS hadn't been away from DH or I for anywhere near that long and even if he had I don't buy that SD sat and watched him hit the dog without saying something but if he did then as far as I'm concerned that's his fault. I wouldn't have let DS hit any animal, but DS is so gentle with animals I just don't see it. I certainly don't think the dog bided his time and attacked DD as some sort of revenge. DD has never got over that incident or the fact that her GP took the dogs side. We live in another state so I haven't had to worry about DD being in that house but as DD's have gotten older my parents have asked for them to fly out to visit. The dog (who is still in the house) and SD's reactions are a big reason I say no (mom has flown out here to see us). It's also a big reason we won't be staying there when we go out to that state as a family this summer to visit family and that dog will be crated or outside anytime we visit or we won't visit. I agree with other pp's if that dogs in the house MIL and FIL come to you. You don't bring DD to them.

 

[Scurvy]

I see what you're saying, but the dog has allegedly bitten an adult without provocation. If this is true, it's really not safe around anybody.

I can understand that. I guess my opinion is that the owners can choose to expose themselves to a potentially dangerous dog if they want to, but they don't have the right to expose other people to it without fully informing people of the possible danger. If other adults know the dog's history and they choose to be around it anyway, then that's their right. There are lots of people who take on the training of dogs who have bitten and turn them into great pets, so I don't necessarily think a previously dangerous dog needs to be euthanized or even rehomed, if the owners are willing to be responsible for training them and keeping them away from people or animals that they could harm. No one should be exposing children to the dog, though.

Scurvy, you can try an find blame with DD actions but she is not that type of child.

Thanks. I actually haven't tried to find blame with your daughter or her actions. I think your husband is the person who is primarily to blame for this situation.

 

[okeydokey]

DD is doing better her hand has some puncture hole scars but they are healing.

MIL doesn't want to come to our house because then she can't do things around her home. So she wants to have DD over at her house. Weekends I try to keep for the three of us sense we work all day. It's nice to give DD undivided attention on the weekends and do things as a family and to reconnect.


I know I'm going to have to get her back to liking dogs. I think the therapy dog idea is great. And I know that this is my fault for letting her visit them and be there knowing the dog was unstable. It has never been 100% fine but MIL promised nothing would happen and that she would keep the dog away. I have always said the dog needs to go but MIL/FIL never listened and at the time of those events it wasn't directly impacting me so I couldn't really place ultimatums. KWIM.


I blame myself for trusting people to do the right thing
I blame Dh for not paying attention to DD more than anyone or thing else
I blame BIL and SIL for giving the dog to MIL after it biting BIL
I blame MIL for asking to have the dog vs letting BIL put it down
I blame Mil and FIl for not getting the dog trained and reeducated

Scurvy, you can try an find blame with DD actions but she is not that type of child.

So you don't want your in-laws to come to your house on weekends to see your DD because that is your family time. You do want them to come to your house on Fridays to give you free babysitting, but MIL doesn't want to come on Friday. Looks like you are finding another babysitter for DD on Fridays and that your in-laws won't see your DD much.

 

[bellebud]

So you don't want your in-laws to come to your house on weekends to see your DD because that is your family time. You do want them to come to your house on Fridays to give you free babysitting, but MIL doesn't want to come on Friday. Looks like you are finding another babysitter for DD on Fridays and that your in-laws won't see your DD much.

This is actually the way I'd go on this. Except I'd invite the inlaws over during the week for an early dinner, or Friday evening for dinner, after we were home from work and dd was picked up from whatever caregiver. I wouldn't ask them to come over and babysit - that part would have been over for me. It just didn't seem to work.

If you want weekends to be just the 3 of you, that's totally fine. Maybe once a month, you can have them over on a weekend, just don't do it every weekend. Try to keep it to Friday evenings.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It makes me sad to hear any story where a dog has been allowed to bite repeatedly, especially when a child has been hurt.

I'd like to offer more but it seems that details are being withheld here so this is the best I can do.

Hoping this helps someone.

The Anatomy of a Dog Attack

“Out of the blue, it attacked for no reason”

When a dog attack is reported we will often hear the same old phrases bandied about.

“It came out of the blue”

“It was totally unprovoked”

“We didn’t see it coming”

“It was totally out of character”

Ring any bells? Well let’s try and understand how and why a dog might attack someone.

Dogs rarely, if ever, attack for no reason. Us humans often misinterpret a dog attacking “out of the blue” and “without warning”‘ because we simply missed the signs.

Let’s be clear about one thing. A dog who is prepared to bite someone has his reasons. Can we, as humans, justify those reasons using the social values of people?

Probably not. But of course, dogs do not live their lives according to human social values.

Here is the story of John, Henry and Max.

John has no wife or children. For the last five years he’s lived with his best friend in the world a playful Labrador called Max.

John is exited today. Henry, an old friend from school who he hasn’t seen for many years is visiting.

John decides today would be a good day to get his garden tidied, make a good impression on his old school chum.

As John gets busy in amongst the weeds in the front garden, he spies his old mate making his way up the street.

Henry’s been looking forward to catching up with John for weeks and, as he’s never been to his home before, finds himself feeling somewhat jubilant to realise he’s managed to find the street on which John lives without too much trouble and can now relish the prospect of seeing his friend again as well as finally getting to meet the only true love of John’s life, the much talked about Max.

It’s a hot and sunny day and Henry is wearing his sunglasses. Further up the street he spots John working in his front garden.

John’s already noticed Henry making his way towards him and yells out, “Hi Henry. Fancy a beer?”

Henry shouts back, “Sounds just the job. Can you believe this heat?”.

As per usual, Max has been ‘helping’ John with his gardening exploits by digging holes of his own all over the lawn. John doesn’t mind. He only wanted the garden so he could have somewhere safe to play fetch with Max on sunny days like today. He’s never been one for trying to keep it immaculate when Max’s favourite hobby is trying to tunnel his way to China.

Max has stopped his gardening though. He’s become preoccupied by the exchange between John and Henry and he’s taken a trip the front gate to see what’s going on.

“I wonder who this bloke is?” ponders Max.

“Why would he and John be shouting at other?” he thinks to himself.

“I’d better be on full alert.” he concludes. “John’s just shouted at this chap so he obviously wants me to keep an eye out.”

Max fixes himself in position at the front gate and hoists his tail high into the air, he’s keen to let the oncoming stranger know he’s about.

John doesn’t notice.

Henry’s still coming. So Max decides he needs to be more clear. He starts to emit a deep, low growl in Henry’s direction just to make certain the stranger who’s purposely striding towards him, his owner and HIS garden is left in no uncertain terms that he’s not moving

Henry’s still coming. And now he’s close enough for Max to notice his sunglasses. “This is getting more serious by the second”, thinks Max. “He’s not only not listening to me, he’s staring right at me. I know, I’ll stare right back at him. See if he’s as brave then.”

Problems. Henry is still as brave. To Max, Henry’s sunglasses look like wide, staring eyes, boring straight ahead and as he marches staunchly toward the increasingly anxious Labrador, Max wonders what his next move might be. As body language goes, Henry is showing all the signs of refusing to listen to Max’s advice.

Now tense and feeling genuinely threatened, Max is offered an escape. John jogs inside to fetch a couple of bottles of beer and Max is only too pleased to hurriedly follow his master. Max is somewhat relieved to suspect that John, his idol, is just as scared as he is about the relentless stranger pursuing them both from outside the garden gate.

“Shut the door John, shut the door” Max worries. “He’s still coming and you haven’t closed the door”.

Too late. Max’s heart leaps as he hears the gate swing open. Too late.

His worst fears are confirmed. The unrelenting Henry is now purposefully making his way up the garden path and toward the the house where Max and John are isolated, cornered and in Max’s case, petrified.

Gathering up every ounce of his canine courage and without a second’s thought for his own safety Max charges out of the house, tail hoisted aloft and barking his war cry as loud as his voice will muster. He heads straight for Henry wondering why this stalking maniac refused to listen to all of his earlier warnings.

“You might kill me but you’ll never take John”, Max decides.

Henry, his face very quickly drained of all its colour, is shocked and taken aback to be confronted by a clearly furious Max, the dog he’d heard so many nice stories about from doting John. This isn’t at all the dog he thought he’d be meeting.

Henry, alarmed and frightened makes his way toward Max, attempting to offer a hand of reassurance and friendship.

Max is having none of it.

“John warned you. Then I warned you. Why wouldn’t you just listen?”, reasoned Max.

Undeterred by Henry’s advance and determined not to let his owner come to any harm, Max lunges in Henry’s direction.

The realisation that Max is a long way past the stage of being able to be pacified dawns on Henry fast and he hastily tries to beat a retreat back out of the gate from which he entered.

John, hearing the commotion and now panic stricken by Max’s attack bellows “No! Max, no.”

Acutely tuned to his owner’s emotions and sensing the fear and alarm in John’s voice, Max forges ahead and launches into a full scale attack on Henry.

And then, as quick as it began, it was over.

An ambulance arrives to take Henry away and, hearing the commotion, John’s neighbours have summoned the Police.

John can be heard explaining, “He’s never done anything like this before“, the attack came “totally out of the blue“, Max was always “such a trustworthy dog“, he’s “never shown any signs of aggression in his life“, the attack was “totally unprovoked“.

But we know differently don’t we?

Let’s look again at how Max saw things unfold:

1. Max spots a man walking toward his and his owner’s garden – ‘his territory’
2. Not unduly worried, Max paid little attention to the stranger until John shouted in Henry’s direction. To Max, this was a clear signal to ‘watch for danger’
3. Obediently, Max sat at the front gate and watched for that danger.
4. He attempted to signal to Henry by putting his tail in the air and growling, that he was prepared to defend his owner and territory.
5. As Henry gets closer, Max again postures but now spots Henry’s aggressive body language, his wide eyes refusing to overt their gaze a clear signal of intent. Henry’s point blank refusal to alter his path, a sure fire gesture of defiance.
6. As John runs inside, Max’s thoughts turn to escape. He now believes John is as scared as he is and they should both seek shelter from the safety of the house.
7. Too late. As Henry enters the garden (Max and John’s territory) Max does what he thinks his owner needs him to do. He defends against the threat.
8. As Henry runs away and John panics, Max takes this as a sign that he should increase his attack, his canine instincts now in complete overdrive.

So let us again question whether John was correct when he explained to Police that Max’s attack was unprovoked.

Was it unprovoked? Not at all.

Was it unjustified in human, social terms? Absolutely.

Was it avoidable? Totally.

The Aftermath

Henry, his pain eased only slightly by drugs lies motionless in a hospital bed and starts to face the reality that a visit to see a dear, old friend has left him disfigured for the rest of his life. He ponders how best to explain to his young children that he’s still their Dad even though he knows his mutilated features will upset them deeply. He wonders how life will be from now on, how people will react to him.

Max, confused and still frightened by the terrifying ordeal earlier in the day is now wondering why he’s found himself confined to a small, secure cage at the vet surgery.

He stares through the bars and looks longingly towards the door, hoping against hope that he will soon be reunited with his trusted friend and master, John.

Unbeknown to Max, he’ll never see John again.

As the door swings open, Max’s tail momentarily begins to wag but he’s deflated. It’s not John. It’s a vet nurse.

He’s still pleased to see her. He’s lonely and upset and he just wants to go home and be with his friend.

He’s too pre-occupied to wonder why the vet nurse seems so wary of him. Wanting to put her at ease, he submissively offers up his paw. As the vet nurse holds it, she carefully shaves a small patch of fur away from his leg.

Max didn’t even notice the injection.

On this day it wasn’t only Max’s body that was destroyed as John’s memories of a kind, gentle, fun loving dog died too.

He asks himself once more, “Why did my dog attack someone for no reason?”

John may never know it, but Max had his reasons.

Dogs do not bite people without reason. They do not attack out of the blue. They do not launch into savage, frenzied assaults without provocation despite what you will undoubtedly read in news reports when the next dog attack hits the press.

There are NO devil dogs. There are NO unprovoked dog attacks. There IS a huge gap in understanding amongst some dog owners about why dogs attack and until we can bridge that gap in education people will continue to be attacked and more and more dogs will join Max, their memories destroyed along with their bodies.

http://www.k9magazine.com/the-anatomy-of-a-dog-attack-2/

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

It makes me sad to hear any story where a dog has been allowed to bite repeatedly, especially when a child has been hurt.

I'd like to offer more but it seems that details are being withheld here so this is the best I can do.

Hoping this helps someone.

LOVED this...thank you for posting it.

 

[bethy]

It's simple: as long as the dog is there, your daughter is not.

If they want time with their granddaughter, they can come over to your house (without the dog).

It's THEIR choice.

Ditto

 

[bethy]

A dog that has bit 3 children who were pulling ears, tails etc is not a bad history. It is a bad history of children behavior to the dog.

I personally will not have my children around any dog that has bitten for ANY - and I do mean ANY - reason. Bottom line: I don't want my children to get bitten. Period.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I stopped reading after three pages for no good reason--only that I am tired and it was already getting repetitive, so I apologize if sometime after that everything I am about to say was said

1. My kids are 12 ad n14 and even at those ages, I would not allow them to visit a house which had a dog I knew to have a history of biting in it. I gather from your posts that you knew the dog had bitten your brother in law and yet sent your DD to that house anyway I am really sorry if this sounds harsh, but I do think you have yourself (and your DH who presumably also knew) to blame here--it is your and your DHs job to protect your little girl and you totally fell down on this one. You are lucky it was only two puncture marks on her hand and not a serious bite to the face, etc.

2. Unless the bites are the type of serious bite which needs reported to the state/city and unless the dog must e legally put down, you have no right to tell anyone not living in your home whether or not they can keep a dog. None. I think you should report the bite to the proper authorities and you should also make other arrangements for your DD's care. You will not be denying your in laws time with their granddaughter unless you refuse to allow them to visit her at your house, take her to the park, etc. There are plenty of ways to get together which do not involve them providing childcare for your DD at their home.

3. The more your DD sees you making a fuss about this dog, or about the bite, the more intense her fear will likely become. Heck, it has only been two weeks. I would not make a big deal about her fear either as it seems to me that would only validate it. Just go on about your normal lives (minus trips to her grandparent's house) and if you encounter something with four legs and she gets upset be calm and let her follow your lead as you demonstrate that the animal is nice. If the fear is truly impacting her ability to cope with life (like living with cats) and does not go away after a month or so THEN I would talk to your pediatrician for advice on where and how to get help for her.

Good luck, and I do hope you can find something else for your DD the one day a week.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

So I should have trusted my gut and not let dd go today . Mil took her to the house with the dog there. So I'm the idiot and now she will no longer be watching dd. she refuses to get rid of the dog. So I'm refusing to put my childs safety in jeopardy ever again.

Thank you all for your advice.

 

[NHdisneylover]

So I should have trusted my gut and not let dd go today . Mil took her to the house with the dog there. So I'm the idiot and now she will no longer be watching dd. she refuses to get rid of the dog. So I'm refusing to put my childs safety in jeopardy ever again.

Thank you all for your advice.

I am glad to hear that you will not be sending your DD again and a bit stunned that you sent her today. I am glad your DD was not bitten again today

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP:
such angst, so sorry your daughter is getting the brunt of it.

I wonder how your in-laws will feel when the dog bites the next unsuspecting person, and it will....and a law suit starts...and it will....
and their insurance carrier then investigates to find out that they IGNORED the previous bites and took no measures and they are possibly DENIED insurance coverage as a result???
They were not negligent with their pet/dog they are intentionally making a conscious decision to keep a dog that bites and placing others in danger...
They will need plenty of money saved up to pay out a claim, because they WILL be on the hook...sad situation
and even worse cause out there walks another innocent unknowing person, perhaps another child, and this time maybe the bite will be in the face, perhaps a loss of an eyelid, a disfigurement or worse...sorry to be somewhat telling, but dog bites on little children can be horrendous and its all because of selfishness.....

they can be fined, have the animal taken away by Animal protective services who will then likely not be in a position to try and save that dog...AND be out of pocket/$$.too ..and for what???
If they LOVE their dog, they should proactively be getting training for that dog, if it is at all possible..
how sad........
I would not be taking my child to their home, but they can come visit when they want...

 

[hereyago]

It makes me sad to hear any story where a dog has been allowed to bite repeatedly, especially when a child has been hurt.

I'd like to offer more but it seems that details are being withheld here so this is the best I can do.

Hoping this helps someone.

Thank you for that article.

I am a big ol mush and should have stopped at a certain point, because the ending is just truly heartbreaking.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Yeah I pretty much just got ambushed and MIL believes I should feel safe with the dog in a crate gated off in the living room. But I don't and while I know it's impossible for him to get out I still don't want my daughter there. Sad thing is that DH sides with MIL so now I'm standing alone. Looking like the bad guy. I know i'm being slightly irrational but who is to say she won't let the dog out

I have to have peace of mind at work and that means paying the extra $300 a month for day care and depriving her of the time with her grand daughter then so be it.

 

[hereyago]

YSad thing is that DH sides with MIL so now I'm standing alone. Looking like the bad guy. I know i'm being slightly irrational but who is to say she won't let the dog out

WHAT?! Oh heck to the no. So essentially, he doesn't have your DD"s back or yours? he needs to move back in with mommy, seriously. has he always enabled her, as in just go with what she says because she will go off?

And in no way shape or form are you being irrational. the dog bit your kid. the dog is lucky to even be alive, and I am a huge animal lover, but I tell you any dog, even our own bit my kid, my love my dd supercedes anything that hurts my kid.

I more blame the owners, they know how this dog is and haven't done anything to take care of it, whether it be training,etc. my aunt has a dashund, yes a small dog, who BITES her, not puppy nip, but bites, she has gone after the repair man. any dog is welcome at my home, but hers isn't and she doesn't ask because if the dog bit us, i'd blame the dog and her, but espeically her.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

WHAT?! Oh heck to the no. So essentially, he doesn't have your DD"s back or yours? he needs to move back in with mommy, seriously. has he always enabled her, as in just go with what she says because she will go off?

And in no way shape or form are you being irrational. the dog bit your kid. the dog is lucky to even be alive, and I am a huge animal lover, but I tell you any dog, even our own bit my kid, my love my dd supercedes anything that hurts my kid.

I'm not sure there is a word in the English language to describe how mad I am.

 

[minkydog]

So I should have trusted my gut and not let dd go today . Mil took her to the house with the dog there. So I'm the idiot and now she will no longer be watching dd. she refuses to get rid of the dog. So I'm refusing to put my childs safety in jeopardy ever again.

Thank you all for your advice.

Oh good lord...

 

[hereyago]

I'm not sure there is a word in the English language to describe how mad I am.

I am so very sorry your DD had that happen-dog bite wise-and just as sorry that you are having to experience this BS.

 

[Robinrs]

Yeah I pretty much just got ambushed and MIL believes I should feel safe with the dog in a crate gated off in the living room. But I don't and while I know it's impossible for him to get out I still don't want my daughter there. Sad thing is that DH sides with MIL so now I'm standing alone. Looking like the bad guy. I know i'm being slightly irrational but who is to say she won't let the dog out

I have to have peace of mind at work and that means paying the extra $300 a month for day care and depriving her of the time with her grand daughter then so be it.

Yes, do like lots of us do and pay the daycare money. You want free daycare AND the right to tell your MIL what to do with her pet. You have to acquiesce only in what YOU can control. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can tell me what to do with my pet, it's only up to me and me alone. If she made that decision, make yours. If you choose to make this a family debate then go right ahead. $300 is the price you have to pay to do what you want to do for the "princess".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

All I have to say is Stand Your Ground. My husband might sometimes not feel something is of a concern--but if safety is MY concern, then all bets are off. He respects that.

No words for your husband.

MIL is an irresponsible pet owner and needs her head examined.