Dog bit my kid.

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes, do like lots of us do and pay the daycare money. You want free daycare AND the right to tell your MIL what to do with her pet. You have to acquiesce only in what YOU can control. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can tell me what to do with my pet, it's only up to me and me alone. If she made that decision, make yours. If you choose to make this a family debate then go right ahead. $300 is the price you have to pay to do what you want to do for the "princess".

Sounds like a bargain to me compared to the next medical bill that will happen.

 

[herdtoDisney]

Yeah I pretty much just got ambushed and MIL believes I should feel safe with the dog in a crate gated off in the living room. But I don't and while I know it's impossible for him to get out I still don't want my daughter there. Sad thing is that DH sides with MIL so now I'm standing alone. Looking like the bad guy. I know i'm being slightly irrational but who is to say she won't let the dog out

I have to have peace of mind at work and that means paying the extra $300 a month for day care and depriving her of the time with her grand daughter then so be it.

You are not being at all irrational. I'm sorry your dh is not standing with you. I know how that is and it is a difficult place

You are doing the right thing-your dd will be safe and you can have the peace of mind at work (I know how that is-I need that as well). Your mil is making such a bad choice. I don't understand people like that

 

[dlhvac]

My dd who has special needs was bitten by a service dog , which i almost killed had they not run away i would have and when police were called it was a service dog in training in a cabelas store at christmas time very crowded . My dd was in her wheelchair and the dog lunged and bit her in the face drawing blood. any animal that bites a child needs to die period.

 

[Evi]

It makes me sad to hear any story where a dog has been allowed to bite repeatedly, especially when a child has been hurt.

I'd like to offer more but it seems that details are being withheld here so this is the best I can do.

Hoping this helps someone.

This was a perfect explenation...though reading through all these posts I don't think OP cares shes bent on the dog getting put down.

I hear so much drama on here about being bit honestly I grew up with pets and have gotten my fair share of bites 2 serious enough to go to the hospital over. I don't blame animals I blame people because its up to us to train them and learn how to behave around them. Most bites are a humans fault be it the owner or person walking by etc who got bit.

 

[brunette8706]

What kind of dog bit your daughter? Pit bull? poodle? What?

 

[JessicaR]

Yes, do like lots of us do and pay the daycare money. You want free daycare AND the right to tell your MIL what to do with her pet. You have to acquiesce only in what YOU can control. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can tell me what to do with my pet, it's only up to me and me alone. If she made that decision, make yours. If you choose to make this a family debate then go right ahead. $300 is the price you have to pay to do what you want to do for the "princess".

Sounds very reasonable to me.

 

[disykat]

Yes, do like lots of us do and pay the daycare money. You want free daycare AND the right to tell your MIL what to do with her pet. You have to acquiesce only in what YOU can control. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can tell me what to do with my pet, it's only up to me and me alone. If she made that decision, make yours. If you choose to make this a family debate then go right ahead. $300 is the price you have to pay to do what you want to do for the "princess".

I'm not sure why everyone is so hell-bent on making this about one day a week of day care. Telling the inlaws they can't have the day they want is really the least of OP's problems.

The problem now is that, not only can she not trust her inlaws to have any contact with her dd that doesn't involve her, she really can't trust her dh to either. All of them think it is fine and will apparently lie to her and take dd around the dog anyway.

Finding a replacement babysitter for Fridays is no big deal compared to knowing every time she leaves her dd with her father there is the possibility that she could be taken to a house with a dog that bites.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I'm not sure what information is being withheld, did I forget to mention the dog breed? He is half corgi half shelti (sp) I was not present so I can only tell you what I have been told.

After sleeping on it over night I still do not feel comfortable with DD being their even if he is caged. I just don't trust the situation and I really can't stop thinking "well what if he gets out. "

The one day wasn't just "free daycare" which everyone seems to want to make it. It was a day where DD was given one on one time with her grandparents. Since on the weekends she is with us and if we go to visit them they usually have my BIl and SIl's kids so that those parents can go to work or go out drinking at night.

The problem is now trust. I can't understand why MIL would want to keep this dog.

 

[RitaE]

I guess her husband just believes the dog will be crated when the MIL babysits. I'm not sure of the answer here. It's a husband/wife disagreement for sure.

I'm not sure why everyone is so hell-bent on making this about one day a week of day care. Telling the inlaws they can't have the day they want is really the least of OP's problems.

The problem now is that, not only can she not trust her inlaws to have any contact with her dd that doesn't involve her, she really can't trust her dh to either. All of them think it is fine and will apparently lie to her and take dd around the dog anyway.

Finding a replacement babysitter for Fridays is no big deal compared to knowing every time she leaves her dd with her father there is the possibility that she could be taken to a house with a dog that bites.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm not sure what information is being withheld, did I forget to mention the dog breed? He is half corgi half shelti (sp) I was not present so I can only tell you what I have been told.

People have been asking since page 1 what kind of dog it is and what the circumstances of the bite were because it does make a difference in understanding what happened.

That information right there says a lot. Being derived from two strong herding breeds, the dog has strong herding and protective instincts, especially with children.

We humans have been breeding herding dogs for thousands of years to do what they do best, and the way they do it is by (warning) barking and nipping moving animals to "keep them in line". Animals instinctually understand what the dog is "saying" to them and therefore they comply; children usually do not.

Two of the three bites I've had in my life were from two different Shelties (Shetland Sheepdogs) when I was a child. They can be very nippy if not taught how to behave by an owner that's a strong leader.

Owning a herding breed, especially when there are children around, comes with certain obligations, and those include keeping people who visit your home safe from a dog who is thinking a certain way about them. In other words, there is always the potential for a bite because herders are doing what they instinctually do. Having German Shepherd Dogs, I live with this daily as well.

Dogs need to be taught to look to their owner for leadership in situations. That leader will signal "There is nothing wrong here and you can relax, I've got it under control". Admittedly, this takes a long time to achieve via training and successful experiences. If there is no leadership, then you have a dog who's going to do his own thing, and as we all know, dogs who do their own thing can be dangerous to people.

It sounds as if this dog has had no or poor leadership and inconsistent training, if any. So naturally it's no suprise there are repeated problems.

The problems for the dog started when he was aquired by someone who didn't understand the breeds he or she was getting involved with. Then little to no training. Then passed off when problems occurred. And now his very life hangs in balance because of the mistakes his people have made. Sadly, there are many dogs who've suffered the same fate and as much as people try to educate others, only some get the message. These are the fortunate ones.

We would never, I'm sure, be able to agree on whether this dog deserves euthanization or not. Some people do euthanize dogs like this because they consider it a kindness rather than passing the dog around and around, only to have things happen again. The truly sad part is that in the right hands and home, he'd probably be fine; maybe he'd even make a great working dog. But the reality is, is that that home is going to be elusive. And because of his history, he should be kept away from children.

I'm going to keep my comments just to the dog, others can advise on the family situation. If MIL keeps the dog and you bring your DD over there, the dog needs to be put away in a different area of the house, fully secured, before your DD goes in the house. If it were my child I'd be checking on it as well to be sure it's secure.

I have some additional thoughts on your DD and dogs, but I have to run out, will post later.

 

[Bonniec]

The problem now is that, not only can she not trust her inlaws to have any contact with her dd that doesn't involve her, she really can't trust her dh to either. All of them think it is fine and will apparently lie to her and take dd around the dog anyway.

This.





Even if you were to allow the dog to be in a crate (and I am glad you aren't going to allow it), how could you trust that they would even do it when clearly they are all willing to just go against your wishes anyway. They had no problems bringing her to the house when you told them not to.

You are not being irrational and I would be acting the same. You also need to sit down with DH and have a long talk about backing you up. I've been married 13 years and DH and I have not always agreed on major issues like this. One thing I have learned is that you have to have each other's back....even if one feels the other is being irrational.

 

[bellebud]

I'm not sure what information is being withheld, did I forget to mention the dog breed? He is half corgi half shelti (sp) I was not present so I can only tell you what I have been told.

After sleeping on it over night I still do not feel comfortable with DD being their even if he is caged. I just don't trust the situation and I really can't stop thinking "well what if he gets out. "

The one day wasn't just "free daycare" which everyone seems to want to make it. It was a day where DD was given one on one time with her grandparents. Since on the weekends she is with us and if we go to visit them they usually have my BIl and SIl's kids so that those parents can go to work or go out drinking at night.

The problem is now trust. I can't understand why MIL would want to keep this dog.

I really feel so bad for you. You're doing the right thing by not allowing dd over there. I wish your dh was on board with you. Forget about your mil being on board, it's never going to happen. Her dog is HER baby, and she can't justify in her mind getting rid of her baby. Right or wrong, it's the reality of the situation.

I'm sorry your dd is going to lose that 1 on 1 time w/ her grandparents, but that's your mil's choice, since your mil refuses to come to your house.

Maybe this situation has helped shine a bright light on your mil's priorities (and how naive she is) and you and dd are simply better off not having mil in charge of your dd's well being. Not saying the woman shouldn't be around dd, but not be a babysitter. I said earlier in this thread, there are people who I love, who love my children, are part of our lives and we're around often, BUT I wouldn't trust 100% to babysit, and anyone I don't trust 100% just doesn't babysit. I don't think anyone really cares either.

Just having them over for dinner or just coffee on a Friday evening can give them time w/ your dd. I hope it all works out. I'd definitely hold your ground though. With dh not on your side, it may be difficult, but you can do it. It doesn't even have to be nasty or in a mad way, just simply "I think it's better for everyone if mil doesn't babysit and dd doesn't go to their house. Let's just have them over here". All in a nice-nice way.

 

[npmommie]

What I am not understanding, and forgive me if I missed it, but why would your DH not be on board with keeping dd away from the dog?
He was there wasn't he? He saw firsthand what happened?

maybe there is more to the story?

why doesn't he feel its a safety issue?

 

[sam_gordon]

The one day wasn't just "free daycare" which everyone seems to want to make it. It was a day where DD was given one on one time with her grandparents. Since on the weekends she is with us and if we go to visit them they usually have my BIl and SIl's kids so that those parents can go to work or go out drinking at night.

The problem is now trust. I can't understand why MIL would want to keep this dog.

What I don't get is how adding 4 days a month (one extra day a week) = $300 more in daycare expenses. We pay for full time care. Even if we only had our kids there 4/5 days a week, it would still be considered "full time".

If you & MIL want her to have one-on-one time with your DD, have her come over to your house, go to the park, go shopping, whatever. Yes, she can't "work around the house", but if she's working around the house, she's not spending time with DD, right?

 

[bellebud]

What I don't get is how adding 4 days a month (one extra day a week) = $300 more in daycare expenses. We pay for full time care. Even if we only had our kids there 4/5 days a week, it would still be considered "full time".

If you & MIL want her to have one-on-one time with your DD, have her come over to your house, go to the park, go shopping, whatever. Yes, she can't "work around the house", but if she's working around the house, she's not spending time with DD, right?

MIL doesn't seem to care about the 1 on 1 time w/ dd. If she did, she'd go to their house. OP, I wouldn't worry about your dd losing the 1 on 1 time w/ her grandma, it may be for the best.

 

[Planogirl]

Part of MIL's issue might be that she wasn't there when the bite occurred. She might actually keep the dog away from other people and might be digging in her heels a bit here. Trust works both ways.

I don't blame you for keeping the kid away from the dog though. People often dote on their pets and it sounds like this is the case here.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

What I don't get is how adding 4 days a month (one extra day a week) = $300 more in daycare expenses. We pay for full time care. Even if we only had our kids there 4/5 days a week, it would still be considered "full time".

If you & MIL want her to have one-on-one time with your DD, have her come over to your house, go to the park, go shopping, whatever. Yes, she can't "work around the house", but if she's working around the house, she's not spending time with DD, right?

DD goes to a school based childcare center very similar to a Montessori school. They charge by the day. Daycares all charge by the day here. Our rate is roughly 80 a day so you do the math. I don't even care about the money though.

I agree with your last statement more than anything. I would get upset when she would tell me they went to dr offices with great grandparents and other errand like things. It wasn't actual bonding time. It was more like DD happened to be there.

I honestly think things happen for a reason and yea right now this is causing a lot of turmoil with DH because he wants everyone to be happy. DD being there even with the dog crated does not make me feel safe. MIL loves the dog and has made her choice and now I have to make the one that is right for my child. I'm sure it will upset her when we tell her today.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Part of MIL's issue might be that she wasn't there when the bite occurred. She might actually keep the dog away from other people and might be digging in her heels a bit here. Trust works both ways.

I don't blame you for keeping the kid away from the dog though. People often dote on their pets and it sounds like this is the case here.

Yes. I think she feels like if she were there, it would not have happened. A well trained dog though wouldn't bite and thats the problem! After he bit BIL he went to her house and he was never trained. It sucks even more because BIL and SIL are never gong to agree with me because all they want to do is go out drinking it up with there friends all weekend. I don't get it! They have 9 moth old little girl who just started crawling. They have no cares other then they want to party so who care about saftey.

 

[npmommie]

I can't get past the fact that you spend just about $1300 a month on daycare for your 2 yo???
maybe I am out of the loop, I had no idea it cost this much!

 

[Evi]

DD goes to a school based childcare center very similar to a Montessori school. They charge by the day. Daycares all charge by the day here. Our rate is roughly 80 a day so you do the math. I don't even care about the money though.

I agree with your last statement more than anything. I would get upset when she would tell me they went to dr offices with great grandparents and other errand like things. It wasn't actual bonding time. It was more like DD happened to be there.

I honestly think things happen for a reason and yea right now this is causing a lot of turmoil with DH because he wants everyone to be happy. DD being there even with the dog crated does not make me feel safe. MIL loves the dog and has made her choice and now I have to make the one that is right for my child. I'm sure it will upset her when we tell her today.

I am sorry that your daughter was bitten by a dog but honestly I think you have bigger issues with your inlaws. I think its expecting alot of an elderly couple or any relative that day to day life stops because your daughter is there especially since its a full day every week. If she was visiting for an hour or so I could understand your expectations. I do think you should re read your posts on this thread and you may see what I mean. I'm not trying to pick anything apart I do know inlaws can be difficult but your expectations for what takes place during their time together is unreasonable. Though you may see that as invaluable I think for a child seeing that day to day somewhere else is different from home is good. Even if you had a nanny she would take your child with her to run errends , cook, clean etc.
If you feel that time isnt valuable maybe she shouldn't be there. But I think its a mistake to make so many excuses about them spending time together. Perhaps you can pay for day care and have inlaws stay with daughter for a few hours each week. I will add though that how you handle this situation regardless of anyones opinion on the boards will definitely stay with your husband and his parents for along long time and in the end that will effect your daughter.