Doesn't anyone parent based on their individual child?

[monkeybug]

MEEE TOOO!!!! I mean who really cares what the sheet looks like in the closet anyway??? Luckily for me, I only have one set of sheets right now so as soon as they are washed they are back on the bed!

Maybe that's what I should do! Get rid of all those extra sheet sets. Then I won't have to deal with any unnecessary fitted sheet guilt!
See, this is why I need to bounce things off of other parents, some of them are just much more brilliant than I when it comes to certain things (OK....most things).

 

[Molly Meow]

To continue the thread derailment -- want to know what I do with the sheets?

I cheat.

I roughly fold the fitted sheet and top sheet. Just trying to make them smaller, not neat. Then I fold a coordinating pillowcase and put the sheets and pillowcase in a pile. Then, I take the other matching pillow case, open it up, and stuff the pile in.

Stays together that way, too.

And on topic, I would definitely agree with parenting the individual child. Seeking advice and reassurance occasionally helps, too.

 

[DizBelle]

There is at least one thread on the Dis a week that asks, "at what age should a child be allowed to.............." Today there were three on the front page alone. And it isn't just on the Dis. I hear it IRL, too.

I will never understand parenting based on the masses. There isn't a magic age for anything unless you are talking about a law. Aren't kids individuals with their own maturity levels? I would never allow my son to do the things I allow my daughter to do. He simply isn't as equipped to handle certain situations. I have never given my kids an age to do anything like date, wear makeup, have/attend sleepovers, stay home alone, get a cell phone, go to the bathroom alone in public, stop riding in a stroller, etc. I can't imagine allowing my child to do something because the masses say a child *should* be able to do that by a certain age. My kids are allowed privileges when I feel they are ready. Am I the only one that parents this way?

So, you've never, ever asked anyone else (sibling, parent, physician) for an opinion about anything to do with your child? If you have, your post is hypocritical.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking the opinions of others when making your own decisions.

 

[WDWtrlrprktrsh]

I don't understand what's wrong with asking for advice when you don't have the answer. My Dd tries to tell me all the time that "So and so does it' or everybody does it and sometimes I'd like a second opinion. And not frpm her friends parents, whose judgement I am questioning.

Just because you ask a question doesn't mean you're gonna follow the advice blindly.

 

[JessicaR]

I do parent based on my individual child, but I think that it helps some parents to bounce ideas off other parents, kwim?

The Dis has so many members, with so many different life experiences, that sometimes I think people like to pull from those different perspectives, to maybe help them see a situation a different way.

Thats what I was gonna say.

I think also people ask questions they are curious about and wonder what the masses think. I also don't think it necessarily means the parent is going to change their decision. Maybe just looking for some reassurance.

 

[LisaR]

I can definitely see the value of bouncing ideas off others. That makes sense.

However, it always seems that there are a few posters that will be very rigid in their age ideals and take other posters to task if they vary from their ideal vision. The heated threads are a testament to this. When I read the OP's post, I had those posters in mind, not the ones that are just bouncing ideas off to see where they stand.

There is a big difference in posters that post a thread asking for ideas just to see where they stand and posters that start a thread asking for age limits and then argue with everybody that doesn't agree with their preconceived notions. That is just asking for validation of their parenting decisions. (and no, I don't have any particular thread in mind, just past experience of reading threads).

The bold text is exactly why I started this. It isn't that I object to seeing how other parents handle hot issues. I enjoy reading those threads. The thing that gets me are the ones that respond with "my daughter will not be allowed to shave her legs until she is 13, period." Besides being downright stubborn, it doesn't make any sense to me. What if your DD is being teased because her legs are so hairy at 10?

So, you've never, ever asked anyone else (sibling, parent, physician) for an opinion about anything to do with your child? If you have, your post is hypocritical.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking the opinions of others when making your own decisions.

See above. It isn't that I mind the asking; especially when it is to get a feel for things. It is the insistent people that set an age that made me start the thread. I will never understand how someone can say, "my child will be allowed to stay home by themselves at the age of X." How on earth do you know what your four year old will be capable of when they hit that magic number that you have arbitrarily assigned?

 

[Luv'sTink]

Your post confuses me. Its similar to the people that post complaints that posters should just "google things".

Just because I'm interested in other peoples opinions and experiences on things doesn't mean I haven't realized my child is an individual. People discuss things on messages boards, at after school sports at family dinners, they talk its always been that way and it always will.

There is no child so supremely unique and unusual that they can't benefit in the least from any experienced parent.

That is why I think the term "helicopter" parent is absolutely stupid! You (general you) have no idea what my child is like and can't make a judgment when you don't live with him and know his strength and weaknesses.

I asked if people would leave their 13 year old home alone for 3 nights. I had already made the choice not to let him stay home alone. I asked because of a comment my sister made based on his age alone. However, it was not a choice she made for her own child based on age alone and was curious if other children in his age range were capable of doing it or if parents would feel comfortable doing it.

From the time my son was born he has been compared to other children his age, everything from height and weight to motor skills and beyond. So asking someone what their child does at a certain age doesn't seem odd at all to me.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

The bold text is exactly why I started this. It isn't that I object to seeing how other parents handle hot issues. I enjoy reading those threads. The thing that gets me are the ones that respond with "my daughter will not be allowed to shave her legs until she is 13, period." Besides being downright stubborn, it doesn't make any sense to me. What if your DD is being teased because her legs are so hairy at 10?

See, that doesn't bother me at all. Their kid, their parenting style. Who am I to say my way is better? If they feel strongly about not allowing shaving till 13, then so be it. It is their belief and they are entitled to it.

It is the ones that say that their child will not be allowed to shave till 13 and then attack any poster that disagrees with them, basically telling them they are scum if they allow their kids to shave before 13.

Poster1 - my daughter will not be allowed to shave her legs until she is 13, period.

Poster2 - we have the hairy gene in our family and let our daughter start shaving at 9

Poster - (quotes poster 2) That is way too early. Children under 13 are not responsible enough. You are a bad parent
.
I am fine with people parenting kids their way as long as they don't profess perfection and try to force their parenting styles on everybody else who parents differently.

Sharing your reasons for why you do something - cool. Being attacked for it, not cool.

And why do you think 5* hotels don't use fitted sheets? Nobody but Martha Stewart can figure out how to fold them.

 

[LisaR]

See, that doesn't bother me at all. Their kid, their parenting style. Who am I to say my way is better? If they feel strongly about not allowing shaving till 13, then so be it. It is their belief and they are entitled to it.

It is the ones that say that their child will not be allowed to shave till 13 and then attack any poster that disagrees with them, basically telling them they are scum if they allow their kids to shave before 13.

Poster1 - my daughter will not be allowed to shave her legs until she is 13, period.

Poster2 - we have the hairy gene in our family and let our daughter start shaving at 9

Poster - (quotes poster 2) That is way too early. Children under 13 are not responsible enough. You are a bad parent
.
I am fine with people parenting kids their way as long as they don't profess perfection and try to force their parenting styles on everybody else who parents differently.

Sharing your reasons for why you do something - cool. Being attacked for it, not cool.

And why do you think 5* hotels don't use fitted sheets? Nobody but Martha Stewart can figure out how to fold them.

You don't see that scenario happen all the time on the Dis? While they may not use the words "bad parent" it is implied all the time.