does your SO tune you out??

[experiment626mom]

This is just so maddening. I was talking to dh Saturday and I thought he was listening to me. When I realized that he wasn't, I shut up mid-sentence. He never even noticed!!!! And then he was wondering why I was a little miffed.

Has anyone ever cured an SO of this or should I just kick his butt?

 

[SherryNC]

I always have his undivided attention.

It is I that am the tuner outer.

 

[RickinNYC]

Uhoh. Joe accuses me of doing that. We always talk and pretty much never run out of conversation, but sometimes he tells his "Edith Bunker" stories and goes on and on. He told me that he knows when he's doing this because I end up with a glazed over, nobody's home look.

As for what you can do, you can try Joe's tactic. He usually flicks his finger and thumps me on the forehead. Trust me, it's very effective.

 

[pw2pp]

Sometimes I THINK my DH is not listening, but then I ask him "what did I just say" and he get's it right.
He just doesn't always respond.

 

[helenabear]

Actually I am the one who does it more than him. Honestly, there is probably no cure for it

 

[ahutton]

My DH does it. He did a personality test recently that said that is common to his personality. He now claims it isn't his fault, it is just how he's "wired"...

 

[copper68]

yes.. all the time.. usually if i'm telling a story and he's not listening i start throwing in words not supposed to be there.. like.. yeah, so yesterday when amy and i went to the tree and climbed she spent a lot of money on some fiddlesticks and then... and then i ask him what i said and he says.. ummm something about a tree?

 

[ashjohnson80]

I'm always being tuned out. I have to tell DH something 50 times before he even realizes it. And he'll come home and tell me something amazing that a co-worker had told him at work and I'll say, "Yeah I told you that last week". He even turns up the radio in the car as to not listen to me, to tune me out literally. He almost let me die once too. My life is dysfunctional.

 

[McDISer]

One day, I am going to sneak a camera and take a picture of him ignoring me. His face and jaw actually slack down, I'm surprised his mouth doesn't just hang open. He will actually turn on the tv and start channel surfing while I am talking.

The next day, I can get a phone call from him and he will ask about a certain situation. Grrr. This is why I want the picture-so I can tell him to pull it out of his front pocket and remind him this is when I was telling him about that situation or concern I had.

 

[SherryNC]

I'm always being tuned out. I have to tell DH something 50 times before he even realizes it. And he'll come home and tell me something amazing that a co-worker had told him at work and I'll say, "Yeah I told you that last week". He even turns up the radio in the car as to not listen to me, to tune me out literally. He almost let me die once too. My life is dysfunctional.

That is awful!!

 

[experiment626mom]

Okay I'm starting to feel better. Maybe a flick in the forehead would help.

I know I'm not telling him how to achieve world peace, but obviously it's important to me.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

yep DH tunes me out too but it's not always tv or other distractions, he sometimes can be looking right at me while I'm talking to him, when I am done talking he gives me a moment of a blank stare then says "wait, what did you just say?" OMG were you not just looking at me like you were listening? I've also done the thing where I stop talking in mid-sentence and it has no effect on him, he will just continue being zoned out until I say "grrrrrr I was just talking to you man!"

 

[Hopetobee]

I'm always being tuned out. I have to tell DH something 50 times before he even realizes it. And he'll come home and tell me something amazing that a co-worker had told him at work and I'll say, "Yeah I told you that last week". He even turns up the radio in the car as to not listen to me, to tune me out literally. He almost let me die once too. My life is dysfunctional.

My DH does that too! He'll say "what are we gonna do about the so and so?"

"I told you yesterday that I made an appointment!" I say

him "No you didn't"

me "yes, I did"

him "Well, I don't remember it, you just THINK you told me"

me "Don't you remember sitting in that chair, DD was running around you with the dog chasing her, we were all laughing, then I told you about the appointment? and here it is on my date book--that I SHOWed you at that time?"

him "Nope, you musta been dreaming."

What's the word for someone trying to make you loose your mind?

 

[ChristmasElf]

My DH used to do this as well. The way I fixed the problem, was I started giving 1 word answers to anything he asked me.
When he would tell me something that had happened, I would appear disinterested and then wait a few minutes and ask a question I should have already known the answer to. When he would call during the day, I would act rushed and not ask him any questions about his day so far, nothing. I would then say, well, I'm in the middle of such and such, I will see ya when you get home and hang up.
A few days of this~walking in the other's shoes was all it took. When he asked me what the problem was, I just simply asked him "How does it feel, to be rushed, ignored and having me totally oblivious to what you say"?

Needless to say, he did not like it! Worked like a charm!!!

 

[Poohgirl]

All the time! In constantly telling him "Don't YES me!"

 

[SherryNC]

All the time! In constantly telling him "Don't YES me!"

My husband knows not to EVER say, "Yes, dear." It would get soooooo ugly.

 

[swanmom]

One night, my best friend took a lot of time and care to get dressed beautifully for a family wedding.
She came into the den and said to DH....."So, how do I look?"

Without even looking up, her DH said "That's great. You look terrific."

She ran back into the kitchen and yelled "OK, so what color is my dress!?"

Her DH, of course, had no idea. You can bet he slept on the couch that night! Even more fitting punishment, the story of her 'absent' husband is the stuff of legend among friends and family (and once won her a prize from a radio station in a Rotten Valentine's Day contest!)