Does your child go to college but live at home?

[SaraJayne]

I couldn't disagree more. How many kids in this day and age do you know that move out for college and continue to live on their own after graduation? I personally don't know a single person. How many kids to you know that are going to college and fully supporting themselves. Again, I don't know any.

How do you equate a kid that leaves for college funded by their parents only to move back home four years later as a more responsible, grown up individual than a commuter? Do you really think that kid is more prepared for life than the one that stayed home, saved money and now has enough to move out and support themselves at the same time the other kid is moving back home? College life was nothing like real life for me. It didn't teach me to grow up. My parents paid most of my bills, they sent all kinds of care packages, and my meals were provided to me by the school. It wasn't until I moved out on my own, after living at home for 6 months after graduating, that I really started to grow up.

If Junior is living at home, taking one class, not working, all the while mommy is making his meals, washing his sheets, putting gas in his free car, and catering to his every whim, then I would agree with you. If Junior has a full load, works or interns, can do for himself, and is saving money, I don't think those 2 to 4 years of living at home are going to cripple that person on the growth front.

I couldn't name one person that moved home with their parents after they graduated college.

That includes all of my friends (college and high school) and nieces and nephews who went to school...and one who is currently going to school (she fully supports herself AND is a senior nursing student).

It's funny that people lament how "kids" refuse to grow up, yet can't see why that happens.

 

[SaraJayne]

I think where you live and the college location can play into it. When DH & I were in college years ago, many of the schools here in Boston were tight on housing so if you lived in the area already you were often wait-listed for housing. I never got it until close to my senior year and at that point I didnt want to bother.

Now schools like BU and Northeastern have greatly expanded their housing but Boston is still a small city with tons of colleges and the campuses and housing can vary dramatically.

Living here it could be hard to justify financially paying full tuition and then room & board to move to a school a few miles away, at least for 4 years. I think some time away is definitely beneficial but I see a lot of students here in Boston who try it for a while and often times the appeal wears off and then end up back home.

I know it would be much different though in another area particularly with a different layout for the campus.

Could be. Here, you go away to college. There are very few exceptions to that rule.

 

[Swan4Me]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

.

You are so funny-and wrong

When the school load intensified for one of mine-he decided to move back home -instead of the long hours working to pay for an apartment. WE live in a University town. He had friends with apertments where they would "hang out at" so he didnt miss the college life.

This was a kid who stayed up until midnight to perfect a project.
He was the outstanding grad in his major
And he did grow up and moved to a far away city where he was hired by a major firm in his industry.

 

[SaraJayne]

You are so funny-and wrong

When the school load intensified for one of mine-he decided to move back home -instead of the long hours working to pay for an apartment. WE live in a University town. He had friends with apertments where they would "hang out at" so he didnt miss the college life.

This was a kid who stayed up until midnight to perfect a project.
He was the outstanding grad in his major
And he did grow up and moved to a far away city where he was hired by a major firm in his industry.

Yes, you're right.

My experience is wrong, but everyone else's is right.

 

[Swan4Me]

Yes, you're right.

My experience is wrong, but everyone else's is right.

You said if a kid lived home during college that they never grow up and move on

Mine did

Thats my proof

 

[Metsfan520]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.

My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.

Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.

Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

5 of the 6 of us lived at home during college (the other went to a state school about an hour away, commuting would have been hard but not impossible) We didn't miss anything--we went to parties, joined in activities, got good grades, etc. etc. All of us grew up just fine--my 2 brothers are doctors, one sister is a lawyer, another a social worker, another a physical therapist. I'm the black sheep of the family--I just have a BA but got a job right out of college & was able to help my younger sisters with stuff since I had money to loan them. And let me tell you, living at home during college was nothing like high school. No reason to go away to school since NY has so many great colleges.

 

[akhenaten]

Yes, you're right.

My experience is wrong, but everyone else's is right.

There is no right or wrong... each person has different experiences and needs...

However,to say someone staying at home is going to not grow up and will miss out on the college experience is just plain silly.... and it also presumes that everyone can afford to live away from home...

Sarajayne ... I would bet you a lot of money that there are many people in your community that go to local colleges and may commute... just because you do not personally know anyone, does not mean they are not out there....

With all due respect ....You appear to have a very limited world view in spite of your on campus experience.... .

 

[DizneyDreams]

Opinions are great, because they are unique. Nobody is right or wrong in these situations because the decision to live at home or live at college is a personal one. There are some who feel that living at college would add unnecessary costs to their ever-growing debts. Then there are those who feel that living at college would provide a child with the opportunity to gain more social skills and get a feeling of what "freedom" or the "real world" is like.

For my school for example, the cost of residence and a meal plan is $10,000. Times that by four years of school (five for my program) and that's $40,000. If one could possibly avoid paying that much money that they could save for the future, than I would say go for it. If I wasn't in a position where I had no option but to stay on campus, I would certainly stay at home. I don't necessarily think that one is missing out on much by staying on campus or at home, really. You meet lots of new people in your classes - and they stay with you throughout your years at college/university.

I at first was going to go to school in my home town because it would cut down the costs. But than I started to realize that I really wanted to go to school in a different city, because they had a program that would allow me to achieve my dream job. There are times where I think that perhaps I made the wrong decision because I have taken on a lot of student loans, but I put the money aside and enjoy my experience at university and tell myself that after i'm done school I will take care of the money that I owe, knowing that I was able to do something that I enjoyed.

 

[indimom]

Yes, you're right.

My experience is wrong, but everyone else's is right.

You said if a kid lived home during college that they never grow up and move on

Mine did

Thats my proof

Gracious SJ, you do realize life isn't black and white, don't you?? There are many, many shades of grey. Your experience doesn't have to be wrong for Swan4Me's experience to be right, and vice versa.

 

[Metsfan520]

Yes, you're right.

My experience is wrong, but everyone else's is right.

No, but your generalizations about living at home may not be right. If money is tight, and living at home means you get to go to college, then that's the right choice for someone.

 

[LisaR]

I couldn't name one person that moved home with their parents after they graduated college.

That includes all of my friends (college and high school) and nieces and nephews who went to school...and one who is currently going to school (she fully supports herself AND is a senior nursing student).

It's funny that people lament how "kids" refuse to grow up, yet can't see why that happens.

You know ONE person currently in college and that is what you are basing it on? Times have changed. The economy is forcing more and more people back home. The average age a "kid" leaves home for good now is close to 30. There are a number of different reasons for this including coddling by the parents in some cases but in many cases it is simply economics.

 

[SaraJayne]

There is no right or wrong... each person has different experiences and needs...

However,to say someone staying at home is going to not grow up and will miss out on the college experience is just plain silly.... and it also presumes that everyone can afford to live away from home...

Sarajayne ... I would bet you a lot of money that there are many people in your community that go to local colleges and may commute... just because you do not personally know anyone, does not mean they are not out there....

With all due respect ....You appear to have a very limited world view in spite of your on campus experience.... .

You're right. I can name two off the top of my head ~ both married mothers that live in my neighborhood.

 

[RitaE]

5 of the 6 of us lived at home during college (the other went to a state school about an hour away, commuting would have been hard but not impossible) We didn't miss anything--we went to parties, joined in activities, got good grades, etc. etc. All of us grew up just fine--my 2 brothers are doctors, one sister is a lawyer, another a social worker, another a physical therapist. I'm the black sheep of the family--I just have a BA but got a job right out of college & was able to help my younger sisters with stuff since I had money to loan them. And let me tell you, living at home during college was nothing like high school. No reason to go away to school since NY has so many great colleges.

yeah, but just think what you all might have achieved if only you'd lived in the dorms.

 

[Magic Mom]

No, but your generalizations about living at home may not be right. If money is tight, and living at home means you get to go to college, then that's the right choice for someone.

I agree, the blanket statement is incorrect. Some people have to stay at home for school.

 

[indimom]

I agree, the blanket statement is incorrect. Some people have to stay at home for school.

Heck, some just want to, and still turn out just fine.

 

[SaraJayne]

You know ONE person currently in college and that is what you are basing it on? Times have changed. The economy is forcing more and more people back home. The average age a "kid" leaves home for good now is close to 30. There are a number of different reasons for this including coddling by the parents in some cases but in many cases it is simply economics.

All of my nieces/nephews have all attended in the last 4 years (with one currently in school and one graduating high school this year) and she has no plans to live at home.

Have "times" really changed that much in the last four years?

 

[Metsfan520]

yeah, but just think what you all might have achieved if only you'd lived in the dorms.

I know! maybe I would have an advanced degree.

 

[RitaE]

All of my nieces/nephews have all attended in the last 4 years (with one currently in school and one graduating high school this year) and she has no plans to live at home.

Have "times" really changed that much in the last four years?

Well honestly - yes. There is a recession. Unemployment is high. Many parents have found that their college savings funds tanked as well as the value of their houses so they simply don't have the assets to pay the housing costs. There is also a real fear at the moment of college grads coming out of school with massive loans and being unable to find the employment to pay them. Many parents are quite cautious and looking for ways to keep costs down. That is one reason that enrollment at Community Colleges is growing tremendously.

My son at the moment is choosing to live at home because he'd rather save money and be able to pay for Grad School rather than having to borrow the money to pay for Grad School --- is that seriously not a "mature enough" decision in your book? If so, then we strongly disagree.

And no he is not a High Schooler+ . He has no curfew. I don't check his homework. I don't wake him up in the morning and make sure he eats a good breakfast before school. He pretty much just lives here like another adult.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

I know a lot of kids that are staying home and going to college. It might be the size of the town that matter too. Some kids have that choice some kids don't. My kids will have that choice and thank God we live in country that allows us that choice. Sounds like there are others that need to remember what country they live in.

 

[rackofelk]

There is no right or wrong... each person has different experiences and needs...

However,to say someone staying at home is going to not grow up and will miss out on the college experience is just plain silly.... and it also presumes that everyone can afford to live away from home...

Sarajayne ... I would bet you a lot of money that there are many people in your community that go to local colleges and may commute... just because you do not personally know anyone, does not mean they are not out there....

With all due respect ....You appear to have a very limited world view in spite of your on campus experience.... .

that is so true

I know someone who had to drop out of college because she got pregnant while enjoying the dorm experience a little too much. Although I will say she didn't move back to her parents, so I guess part of the theory is correct.