Does this happen until I Die?

[Mickeyistheman]

For all of you Moms out there I have a question.....

Why is it that my mother continues to say that I am always wrong and she is right?

Is it because I am the eldest of her 3 children? I am 31 years old and it now seems to get worse and worse literally everyday. She is under alot of stress at the moment, but she has always been this way with me.

When I say something she literally will tell me no its wrong, however my brother or sister she does not say it to.

I am making dinner and I put something in the oven to bake, set the timer and unfortunately didn't get there in time and it burned. She literally just screamed at me saying that I never set the timer because she knows and I don't.

It is the most ridiculous thing to argue over but she made some very not nice comments under her breath that had NOTHING to do with the burnt food.

Is there a reason that Moms always think they are right?

 

[chell]

 

[Huggles]

Mmmm, been there,still doing that. I swear I could be a world renowned nuclear physicist and my mother would still believe the garbage man before she'd believe me!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am just going to go with yes, it does continue until we die. The only reason I say yes is because it hasn't stopped for me yet. I wonder sometimes if she thinks I sit all day with a look of wonder on my face not knowing how to do anything.
I love my Mom but I swear she thinks I am an idiot most of the time.

 

[Wishing on a star]

She screamed????

Your mother sounds like she may have some issues.

The quicker you get over caring who she thinks is wrong or right and 'saying things' to her, the better.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

For all of you Moms out there I have a question.....

Why is it that my mother continues to say that I am always wrong and she is right?

Is it because I am the eldest of her 3 children? I am 31 years old and it now seems to get worse and worse literally everyday. She is under alot of stress at the moment, but she has always been this way with me.

When I say something she literally will tell me no its wrong, however my brother or sister she does not say it to.

I am making dinner and I put something in the oven to bake, set the timer and unfortunately didn't get there in time and it burned. She literally just screamed at me saying that I never set the timer because she knows and I don't.

It is the most ridiculous thing to argue over but she made some very not nice comments under her breath that had NOTHING to do with the burnt food.

Is there a reason that Moms always think they are right?

It happens until you redefine the relationship. Some moms never get over not being the boss of you, some moms do. Most of them don't voluntarily give up that power...

 

[luvsJack]

I would say its a mother-daughter thing, but my mom does it to me and not my older sister. I am the youngest of four, my sis is the oldest.

I have a baby granddaughter and mom still acts as though she has to tell me how to take care of her. I have learned to grit my teeth, smile and say "yes, mom" over and over and over and over...well, you get the idea.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

You have my sympathy. Neither my mom is like this, nor am I like this as a mom. Whoever said "You're not the boss of me" is on the right track. Are you more dependent on her than you perhaps realize? And you're giving away your power to her voluntarily???

 

[lisajl]

Because we generally are right! LOL!! My DD is 23 and she is usually wrong.
On the occasion she is right, I tell her so.
Sorry you are having trouble. I lost my mom 3 years ago and we hardly ever saw eye to eye. Wish I could hear her complain now.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Because we generally are right! LOL!! My DD is 23 and she is usually wrong.
On the occasion she is right, I tell her so.
Sorry you are having trouble. I lost my mom 3 years ago and we hardly ever saw eye to eye. Wish I could hear her complain now.

I respect and love my mother HOWEVER....Does she honestly think I don't know how to use a stove? It is the little things that she just has to be right about.

We were in Disney a few years ago and she had not been in 11 years. I go at least twice a year since 2001. I know Disney, she argued with me about the buses only coming twice a day....We were staying at Coronado Springs.

She has been under alot of stress lately and we have been getting along just fine tonight was just a strange odd outburst and what she said truly hurt my feelings and came out of left field.

 

[lisajl]

I respect and love my mother HOWEVER....Does she honestly think I don't know how to use a stove? It is the little things that she just has to be right about.

We were in Disney a few years ago and she had not been in 11 years. I go at least twice a year since 2001. I know Disney, she argued with me about the buses only coming twice a day....We were staying at Coronado Springs.

She has been under alot of stress lately and we have been getting along just fine tonight was just a strange odd outburst and what she said truly hurt my feelings and came out of left field.

How old is your mom? Is she having any trouble? Could be just a control issue like it is with my daughter and me. It is hard for me to let go and let her make her mistakes. For me it's hard to see my daughter as the young woman she is, and not the little girl she was.
Good luck with your mom.

 

[JessicaR]

I respect and love my mother HOWEVER....Does she honestly think I don't know how to use a stove? It is the little things that she just has to be right about.

We were in Disney a few years ago and she had not been in 11 years. I go at least twice a year since 2001. I know Disney, she argued with me about the buses only coming twice a day....We were staying at Coronado Springs.

She has been under alot of stress lately and we have been getting along just fine tonight was just a strange odd outburst and what she said truly hurt my feelings and came out of left field.

I think you are most upset over what she actually said this evening. Not so much the overall general issue. Perhaps the stress is taking a toll on her. A conversation with her about it may prove helpful to both of you. Perhaps she needs some help in dealing with her stress. During the talk she needs to know that her words hurt you and that she should not speak to you like that in the future. Respect is a two way street.

I'm sorry you are sad and hurting over this and I really hope you can talk to her about it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I know that when my mother is stressed out about something, she is more "snappish" than usual. She also seems to be a bit more "snappish" in general now than she used to be...she's 83 and I think her mortality is starting to hit her....

I have been a nurse for 26 years. I will tell her something medical-related and she will either not believe or not listen to me, because her friend Gloria (her BFF for like 70 years) said otherwise, and Gloria reads medical books. And no, Gloria is not a nurse, doctor or anything else in the healethcare profession....but apparently she knows more than I do about things medical.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Because we generally are right! LOL!! My DD is 23 and she is usually wrong.
On the occasion she is right, I tell her so.
Sorry you are having trouble. I lost my mom 3 years ago and we hardly ever saw eye to eye. Wish I could hear her complain now.

Excellent point Lisa.

 

[bumbershoot]

The quicker you get over caring who she thinks is wrong or right and 'saying things' to her, the better.

Agreed.

Is there a reason that Moms always think they are right?

My mom was never like that. Her mom was never like that. My aunt isn't like that with her daughter.

My MIL is like that with her son, or she was, until I came along. She agrees with me, now, about most everything.

That said, if anyone has ever seen Margaret Cho's comedy stuff about her mom, and how she relates it to Korean moms...my MIL is pretty much *exactly* what M Cho describes so it's not like she's totally unique.

But still, I think this is a your mom, and maybe some other moms, thing, but not ALL moms.


And I don't think it's totally normal....

 

[lovetoscrap]

I used to wonder why my mother thinks that I am completely incompetent and can't do anything correctly. Then one day I had an epiphany! We were at my Grandmother's (her mother) and my mom was helping to put away the leftover food after dinner. Grandma didn't approve any of the jars and containers Mom choose. Finally Mom went to finish taking the rest off the meat off of the bones of the chicken and Grandma kept telling her she was missing stuff. Finally Grandma said "MOVE! I will just do it myself." Now I had watched my mom for years take the meat off of the bones and she always seemed to do it quite well in my eyes!

I realized that it is just Genetic! Mom wasn't even the least bit phased by what had happened and I realized it is just the Mother's legacy. I have already warned my daughters that they shall forever remain about 12 in my eyes, just as I am in my Mom's eyes.

 

[lbuzz52]

My mom was really bad about thus. Eventually I told her I wanted to learn/ make mistakes on my own. I think it hurt her a bit but I do my best to call het for help when I need it. I think she's okay with my independence as an adult as long as she is still needed

 

[Mysteria]

People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Even parents.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I used to wonder why my mother thinks that I am completely incompetent and can't do anything correctly. Then one day I had an epiphany! We were at my Grandmother's (her mother) and my mom was helping to put away the leftover food after dinner. Grandma didn't approve any of the jars and containers Mom choose. Finally Mom went to finish taking the rest off the meat off of the bones of the chicken and Grandma kept telling her she was missing stuff. Finally Grandma said "MOVE! I will just do it myself." Now I had watched my mom for years take the meat off of the bones and she always seemed to do it quite well in my eyes!

I realized that it is just Genetic! Mom wasn't even the least bit phased by what had happened and I realized it is just the Mother's legacy. I have already warned my daughters that they shall forever remain about 12 in my eyes, just as I am in my Mom's eyes.

It's not genetic; it's learned behavior. Other behaviors can replace it.

 

[JPN4265]

For all of you Moms out there I have a question.....

Why is it that my mother continues to say that I am always wrong and she is right?

Is it because I am the eldest of her 3 children? I am 31 years old and it now seems to get worse and worse literally everyday. She is under alot of stress at the moment, but she has always been this way with me.

When I say something she literally will tell me no its wrong, however my brother or sister she does not say it to.

I am making dinner and I put something in the oven to bake, set the timer and unfortunately didn't get there in time and it burned. She literally just screamed at me saying that I never set the timer because she knows and I don't.

It is the most ridiculous thing to argue over but she made some very not nice comments under her breath that had NOTHING to do with the burnt food.

Is there a reason that Moms always think they are right?

Your question was, " Does this happen until I Die"? No, until she dies...